Before - Legends To My Heir . . . Ultimate Poetry Challenge response (Kipling's "If")

Title: To My Heir
Author: JediNemesis
Genre: Sith philosophy
Era: I put this in the pre-Bane era; what I think of as the 'classical' Sith period. Although it's fairly arbitrary.

Summary: A Sith Master gives his apprentice some advice.

Notes: For the Ultimate Poetry Challenge set by Rogue_Pilot_2347. The rules don't specify that the response had to be a poem itself, but I was having too much fun The rules did require that four genuine lines be included; they are lines 10, 17, 21, and 23.

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[b]DISCLAIMER:[/b] The Sith were the brainchild (brainchildren?) of George Lucas; no money has changed hands. The poem this was based on is, of course, [link=http://www.kipling.org.uk/poems_if.htm]Kipling's "If..."[/link]. Apologies for defacing it :D

[hr]

[b]To My Heir[/b]


If you can keep your head when all around you
Are weakening from doubt, or sick with fright;
If you can stand and smile when trouble's found you,
And do what must be done to win the fight;
If you can make your name a word for fearing,
And make yourself a plague, a scourge, a curse;
If you can lie without a trace appearing,
And only speak the truth when truth is worse;

If you can do - and not let deeds content you;
[color=red]If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;[/color]
If you can kill - and not let guilt prevent you,
And feel no grief, and never think of shame;
If you can meet with mercy, and forgiveness,
And treat both with the scorn that they deserve;
If you can use the time that has been given us
To learn the powers of the Dark you serve;

[color=red]If you can wait, and not be tired by waiting,[/color]
And turn your pent-up powers on the Light,
And hide your hatred till the time for hating,
And hold your hand until the time is right;
[color=red]If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew[/color]
To speed again when pain has made them slow,
[color=red]And so hold on when there is nothing in you[/color]
Except the will that says "It shall be so" -

If you can draw your blade against your Master,
And risk your life and soul on that one duel,
Or, beaten, snatch a triumph from disaster,
And live to win, and take the throne, and rule;
If you can use the gift the Force has lent us,
And hold fast though the Dark Side bleeds you dry,
You'll make a Sith one day, my young apprentice,
And - though you do - your name will never die!

[hr]

Feedback appreciated as always :)

Nem

 

Oh, excellent!

A superb entry. I love the poem formatting for this, and the lines from the original fit seamlessly into this one. Nice work!

 

Amazing! But that's no surprise.

 

That's really neat. Freaky....but neat. Very cool entry. Good job!

 

Lovely twist on the original. I especially liked:

And only speak the truth when truth is worse

Great job!

 

Hello

Star-Foozle Oh, excellent! Thanks A superb entry. I love the poem formatting for this, and the lines from the original fit seamlessly into this one. Nice work! I was dissecting the poem, looking for lines that weren't too self-contained, and was hit by a juggernaut of a bunny as to how they could be misconstrued. Six lines later I was having too much fun to stop

VaderLVR Amazing! Why thank you But that's no surprise. I'm honoured. Thanks

Leona Just wow!!! That is the perfect description of Sith!! I like writing about the Sith. I also imagine a substantial body of Sith literature, because with such a fragmentary Order you couldn't rely entirely on word of mouth. I am in awe Nem!! Wonderful! Thanks for clicking

Rogue_Pilot That's really neat. Freaky....but neat. Story of my life, that. Very cool entry. Good job! Thanks!

azizah Lovely twist on the original. I especially liked: And only speak the truth when truth is worse Great job! Thanks for clicking. I'm glad you liked it

Nem

 

Oh, wow. Well done! The strong resemblance to the original -- not just the quoted lines, but the same form, and a number of lines reworked and word choices reused and rearranged -- really intensifies the comparative twist of the actual content.

 

Hi

Persephone_Kore Oh, wow. Well done! Thanks! The strong resemblance to the original -- not just the quoted lines, but the same form, and a number of lines reworked and word choices reused and rearranged -- really intensifies the comparative twist of the actual content. Now you mention it, I suppose so. I didn't realise I'd reused so many of Kipling's words. I suppose it just goes to show how completely opposing philosophies can be described in the same terms . . . Thanks for reading

Nem