To Run Away...

do you have to be the peacekeeper of the family? maybe you could just take a vacation from that... uh... job. other than that, I have no useful advice.

 

If you have the means to support yourself without your family, then I think you should do it. If you don't, then you'll be trapped, I'm afraid.

 

At 16 your a runaway? WTH? you can leave home soon as you are 16. (well in canada anyways)

 

It's 18 in America.

 

Running away from your problems does nothing but make them worse. Figure out the proble, address it, and try to fix it.

 

I can't leave home until I'm 18. Unless I become emancipated, and to do that I have to be 17, and I have to have a means of support (I kinda have that) a home (I can live with friends), transportation (have that).

I can't join the military until I'm 18. I could join at 17, but must have parental consent. I dont' think they'll even LOOK at 16 yr olds.

P716: Yes, I have to be the peacemaker. If i don't do it, no one else will. And no one will stick up for my sister, and she won't stick up for herself.

I'm just tired of the yelling, and the screaming, and the threats, and my sister being compared to me all the time and them (parents) tell her (sister) that she need to be more like me and get better grades etc. It hurts her too much.


The only way I could support myself would be to drop out of school. And I don't wnat to do that. I LOVE school. It gets me out of the hosue, and I love learning, and I WANT to get an education, and a degree and become an elementary school teacher.

 

Angel if you ever feel like you're going to run away, sit down and think for a moment of your family. Imagine the panic they would go through knowing you have gone missing and that anything could have happened to you. Surely all the pain and anguish you would cause your parents would be far worse than anything else by far.

So, I guess what I'm going to say is when things become real bad, go to your boyfriend's place or stay with a friend for a day or so. If you feel the need to get out of your home for a few days, arrange it with a friend and let your parents know. DO NOT run away. You'll end up in more trouble and everyone will be worried sick about you, including me and your other online friends. And DON'T drop out of school because you are clearly an excellent student and you would be wasting all your talent if you did.

Another thing you could do is see a counsellor. I don't know what it's like in the US but over here in the UK there are plenty of groups set up for teenagers to call or spend time with when they just need someone who's on the outside to talk to. It can be such a release just to talk to someone who doesn't know you but is willing to listen all the same Trust me on that

Please sis I'm begging you, don't ever run away from your problems. Yeah, I know it sounds like a bad movie line but it's true. They won't go away and you'll probably create new problems for yourself when you got home.

There's always another way Always...

 

The best advice is this, two more years and you can go away clean.
Run away and you'll have a slew of new problems, while the old ones will still be on your mind.
Hang in there, if you think about it, you've already done most of the waiting.

 

Angel500- I'm probably not going to be much help because I am in a similar situation. My parents fight all the time(constantly...whenever they are together) and then I get involved with it for no apparent reason. It was better when my brother was home cause at least I had someone to talk to/cry with. I can empathize with the threats of moving out and divorce. And like you, I'm 16. Running away was never really a viable solution for me as I know I'd have no way to support myself. And this year, for me, it has gotten to the point of having relatively frequent nervous breakdowns and being diagnosed with depression. I don't know what to do either. My best hope is to hang on untill college in two years(well 1.5 now) but I'm not sure if I can make it that long. As it is my grades are slipping because I can't deal with the family pressures/stress/tension and I can't focus on school-work.

 

Ginger: I'm sorry you had to read that sis. I probably should have posted under my sock so as not to worry you.

I don't want anyone to worry. I know though, that if I need a break my parents won't understand. They'll be mad and will yell at me. They yelled again tonight. A lot. only this time it was directed at me and so I'm crying and shaking at the moment.

I don't know if we have groups or anything for teens with problems. Well... I know we DO I just don't know how to get hold of them.

Cailina: I'm sorry you are going through the same thing that I am. I hope that thing get better for you, as I hope they do for me.

 

Angel there's no need to hide it. I am your friend I can support you...even if there are a couple thousand miles and a large ocean between us

Cailina Don't give up. It's my firm belief that everything gets better-no matter how dark times may be.

Both of you can PM me if you want to talk I'm always ready to listen.

 

Thanks Gigner, for being such a good friend.

I'm startin to think its not such a good idea. One of my friend jsut did that (abusive parents) and he almost got thrown in jail.

 

I know where you're coming from. I have nearly the exact same situation at home. I have been so close to running away uncountable times. But there are a couple of things to hold onto.

1) no matter what, you can be out in 2 years.

2) if you graduate early from high school, that's one less year to stress over


good luck!

 

I have seriously thought about early Grad. But teh way my school is set up, I would have had to start at the beginning of this year, and I am too late really. I can't do early grad.

I know I have 2 years. I am dealing with it. At the moment my boyfriend and my friends are helping me. But they all have their own lives, and I do not want to be a burden. My b/f keeps telling me I'm not...but sometimes I wonder if he says that because it is true, or because he loves me and wants me to not be hurt.

I don't know...

 

well...just remember that your friends are they and they want to help you. That's what friends are for. You lean on them and they lean on you. somehow or another, you all stay standing.

 

Oh, I'm very sorry to hear this, Angel!

I think, as various others have said and I believe you're thinking, that running away is not a good idea. There are alternatives, as many people have mentioned.

I think it's great that you really want to get an education and become a teacher - and I think that's the best course to take. Just thing that relatively soon you can go away to college - and until then keep your grades up (as I think you're already doing) and do your very best to stay optomistic. And if it is quite bad talk to a teacher, or some other adult whom you trust - maybe they can help you out. And if all else fails just tell yourself every day that you're one day closer to the freedom of college and life after you're 18. You can make it!

If you need someone to talk to, please don't even hesitate to send me a PM! I don't know you as well as I might like, but I am concerned for you in your current situation! Good luck!

 

I had a nervous breakdown, according to my therapist. I left the therapist. See, I've had an enormous problem relateable (word? ah, never mind) to yours. I spent most of the Christmas holidays alone in my room, cracking up. You need one person you can spill to.

 

Yes, I am starting to think it isn't the best idea...though I am realizing more and more that I hate my house.

Yet I can't get away.

I feel trapped in a prison sometimes. THe only place I can escape is the computer...

 

*hugs Angel*

I think its safe to say you can talk to any of us here Don't ever think you are a burden onto others because believe me you ain't as your BF will tell you

 

It's really upsetting that you feel this way... I'm really sorry that you're going through this.

I am glad, then, that you have a computer and the Internet to escape for a while!

I don't quite know what else to tell you, excpet maybe to see a councellor (sp?? It's way early... ) or something close to that. And there are those of us here who would be willing to talk, also. Just don't keep building it up inside, that is not a good idea. Then eventually it will have to come out and I don't believe you'll enjoy the results.

I'm thinking of you and wishing you the best of luck! You can make it!

 

Sis you can always use the JC as a method of escapism. OK I admit it's not the same as talking to people but it's better than locking yourself away from everyone. You've got friends at school, and like I keep saying me Oh and Dara!

And writing down your feelings in any shape or form may help too. I do that quite a lot.

And Angel laughter is a great way to destress. I can e-mail you some funny stuff.

Ok, OK I know this is hardly finding a solution to your problem but I think these are some good 'coping' methods. I've got more in this big head of mine if you're interested...

Or I could just shrink back and disappear too. Actually no...I would never do that.

*hugs her sis* Always here for you sis! Love ya!

 

Thanks everyone, for your encouragement.

I don't really want to see a councilor, ya'll do fine.

I've been okay the last couple days...there hasn't been a yelling episode for a bit Which is quite helpful.

 

I can't say that I know you, but I've been in your situation. It's difficult, and you've got my support if you need it. As everyone has said, running away isn't the answer.

 

Thanks TIEace.

Everyone is being so supportive...its great

 

We want to see everything work out for you! And everyone needs support from time to time!