Before To Serve My Master- a Story of the Sith- Dark Obi-Wan

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Oct 1, 2004.

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  1. BrokenNoseOfQui-Gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 15, 2004
    star 2
    Uh oh, you killed off Dooku. You're in trouble with some people on these boards. A great chapter, tell your daughter nice fight scene!
  2. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Qui-Gon what have you done?! I had such hopes for him to be turned back to the light by Dooku... *sigh* Ahh well great sequence I can't wait for more!

    =D=
  3. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    :eek: ... :eek: Noooo! :_| My baby! *sniffle* Where's my tissue!! You killed Dooku!

    Poor Obi... I would not want to be in his shoes right now! And Anakin.. confused at what juz happened. A death of one of the Light is not an easy thing to feel especially when not trained to understand the swarming of the Force upon a Force-sensitive's death.

    Great job!! Of course I'm upset about Dooku's passing ;) but can understand that it prob was necessary! Poor Yoda... I feel for him :( at least in this AU his Paddy wasn't evil when he dies.
  4. SarkaVrae Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2004
    star 5
    poor Dooku :( So much compassion, but completely ignored by his dark padawans.....how very sad.

    my hope would be that Obi Wan runs like crazy, picks up Anakin, and takes off with Sarla so they can all get away NOW.

    Speaking of Sarla......we haven't heard anything about her since "the choice"....could Qui have already harmed her? :(

    we need answers! :)

    great post. good fight scene. just too many questions left unanswered! :D
  5. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Yikes! :eek: What a great post! :)
  6. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    :( I hope you don't kill Obi too.
  7. Jedi_Chani Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 30, 2004
    star 1
    So Dooku bit the dust? Ah well, I knew someone had to die. You're just too mean to let them all live! :D Now, about Obi-Wan and Anakin, I'd appreciate if you'd let them live. You can kill off crazy Qui-Gon if you want, just not the hottie and the future hottie.
  8. tangled_sphere Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 28, 2003
    star 4
    That was an awesome post VL! =D= I know you didn't MEAN to kill Dooku in your fic, just listening to your muse. ;)

    (Can I adopt your daughter to write my action sequences too?) :p Great job you two! Had me on the edge of my seat! And I just love the bond between Anakin and Obi-Wan. Anakin cares so much about him and I have a feeling that may save the both of them. [face_love]
  9. Master_Noi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2004
    star 4
    Well, I think that Dooku dying was the one thing I knew was going to happen so far.

    Scary for Anakin. I loved the chilling description of Anaking feeling the light presence leave and is only left with the dark.
  10. AthenaLeigh Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 2
    Oh wow, really good fight scene, and *gasp* Dooku.... Well, it had to be one of them, hadn't it? And what happens now? Awwwww, poor Anakin! *squeak* All locked away, that poor child! Really loving this, continued great work!
  11. CodeName_Targeter Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2003
    star 5
    *finishes her marathon reading*

    Ooo... very interesting story here so far... =D= I love it so far!

    :Targeter:
  12. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    two evil authors tonight!
  13. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Really nice fight scene and you killed off Dooku. Great job with that. I also liked that Anakin could feel the coldness and then could feel Obi cry out.

    Good cliffhanger!

    Looking forward to more.
  14. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Oh... he killed him.... I didn't think he would. VadersMistress, superb action scene! Quite fluid and exciting. And the rest... VaderLVR is fantastic... I've an idea what may happen next, which I won't say, but I hope wrong as it could very well be the end of the story, which is certainly something I don't want. :D
  15. AnakinsHeir Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 2, 2004
    star 3
    Dooku is dead? Oh no! That leaves Obi and Qui alone to save themselves! That is not good, not good at all. I hope you'll update again soon and tell us what is going to happen to those two and little Anakin. And where is Sarla? [face_worried]
  16. Senator_Leia73 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 2003
    star 4
    Qui killed Dooku? To bad...I wonder if his death will result in Obi's turning back to the light...I hope not.

    And poor Ani is so afraid and confused. I hope he will be okay.
  17. Kinwon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 23, 2004
    star 1
    Wow, Dooku is dead... and it looks like Obi-Wan is in pain. Poor little Anakin, he's scared and confused, and all he wants is Obi-Wan to comfort him, and to comfort Obi-Wan. I don't think Qui-Gon will be happy about that, though.
  18. SilSolo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 5
    You really hate Dooku, don't you?
  19. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    BrokenNoseOfQui-Gon Thanks! I'll tell her. I know, I'm being very careful when I open my mail. :D

    Layren Sorry! It just didn't go that way. I tried, I really did, but the characters kept going off on their own tangents. Thanks for reading.

    Kynstar You'll see Obi's response in this next chapter. Enjoy! And thanks for reading.

    SarkaVrae Answers galore provided in this chapter!

    LuvEwan Thanks! [face_blush]

    obi_ew Now would I do that? [face_devil] Probably not!

    Jedi_Chani I'll do my best. :D

    tangled_sphere That's right, my muse made me do it. You can borrow my daughter any time you like. It was so wonderful to find out that I had a great action writer right here in the family! I planned it that way, of course.

    Master_Noi Yeah, you knew old Dooku had to go. Thank you for reading!

    AthenaLeigh Thank you! And my daughter thanks you. She did a great job, I'm quite proud of her. Answers coming up, I promise.

    CodeName_Targeter Thanks for putting in the time to read this! Glad you liked it.

    PadawanKitara Two Vaders for the price of one! :D

    dianethx Thank you! I feel sorry for little Anakin, too.

    Healer_Leona Congrats (and sympathy?) on being named the new mod! You are certainly well qualified for the job! Yep, the end is approaching...

    AnakinsHeir Your questions will be answered! :D

    Senator_Leia73 I wouldn't count on Obi-Wan turning good all of a sudden.

    Kinwon Not much makes Qui-Gon happy, LOL! Thanks for reading.

    SilSolo I don't hate Dooku, but he asked to die. He really did! O:)








    Chapter 24

    Obi-Wan glanced at Dooku?s body and then toward his Master. Qui-Gon had lowered himself to the step and sat there, a bemused smile on his face. He met Obi-Wan?s eyes.

    ?Did you really kill Master Tahl??

    The older man rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. ?Yes, I did.? He moved his hands away from his face. ?Does that bother you?? He laughed. ?Developing scruples at a rather late date, aren?t you, my boy??

    ?Why??

    ?She was in the way.?

    ?In the way??

    ?She would not believe that I had freely chosen to walk the path of the Sith,? he said. He smiled coldly. ?Eventually, I made her believe.?

    ?Could you not have just sent her back to the Temple unharmed??

    Qui-Gon shrugged. ?I suppose I could have done that.? His voice grew hard. ?But she needed to be taught a lesson. See that you don?t repeat her mistake.?

    ?Yes, Master.?

    ?Don?t you feel the freedom I have given you?? Qui-Gon said quietly. ?Doesn?t it feel wonderful??

    ?Master??

    ?I?ve freed us both now, our last tie to the Jedi is gone,? he sneered as he looked at his fallen Master. ?Their time is coming to an end, and ours is about to dawn.?

    ?Yes, Master.?

    Qui-Gon sighed wearily. ?We must leave here, the Jedi know where we are, you can be certain of that.?

    ?Surely they won?t send anyone else, Master,? Obi-Wan said incredulously, his eyes unwillingly drawn once more to the Jedi?s body.

    Master?s eyes narrowed. ?The Order will not rest until they have killed us, or been wiped out in the process.?

    Obi-Wan did not think that was the Jedi way, he thought them more likely to try and reclaim their lost knight and padawan, but he held his tongue.

    ?Prepare to leave within the hour, apprentice,? Qui-Gon instructed. ?We shall go to one of the safe houses.? He smiled. ?There we will plan our next attack against the Jedi.?

    Obi-Wan nodded shortly, unable to keep his eyes from straying to Dooku?s corpse one more time. ?Yes, Master. I will go tell Sarla and Anakin to pack their things.?

    A sly smile stretched Qui-Gon?s mouth. ?Get Anakin ready, yes. But you needn?t worry about Sarla.? His voice was neutral, as if testing Obi-Wan?s response.

    The young man?s gaze jerked toward his Master. ?What do you mean, Master??

    A thin veneer of concern laced Qui-Gon?s words. ?I meant to spare you, my Obi-Wan.?

    ?Spare me how?? he
  20. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Oh my goodness, Obi-Wan killed Qui-Gon! Bet even the nasty sith wasn't expecting that! Aww but now I'm sad because Qui-Gon has no hope for redemption *sigh* I suppose he never had it though did he? He killed Sarla... I sort of suspected that he would not let Obi-Wan have any weaknesses. Great post! Especially loved the touching moment betwee Anakin and Obi-Wan...

  21. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Aha! I knew it! I figured Qui killed Sarla... poor chit... and she never knew the truth!

    Poor Obi... he did learn a valuable lesson, she was a weakness - love is a weakness and can only interfer with a person's life.

    Can't wait to see what happens next! Glad Obi and Anakin are together now :D
  22. SarkaVrae Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2004
    star 5
    yeah Obi! good job!

    what a powerful post! i'm so glad Obi killed Qui....but is this the end?? :( or will you be continuing this tale? (please, please, please!!!) :)

    very good!!
  23. Darth-Mithrandir Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 15, 2004
    star 1
    Oh, man, why did you have to kill poor Qui Gon? I was just beginning to like his wonderful taste for blood. Still, wonderful post VaderLVR64.
  24. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    You killed Qui-Gon. Good job with Obi-Wan getting so close and then blammo. Now, what is Obi-Wan? A sith, a dark Jedi, someone who needs to go back to the Light? I guess we'll have to see.

    Good job.
  25. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    That was such a beautiful post, VL. It was completely mesmerizing. Hooray for Obi-Wan [face_dancing], but what will he do now? [face_confusion]
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