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Tomb of Souls: A Jedi Apprentice Fan Fic- Version 2

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jul 5, 2000.

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  1. Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 14, 1999
    Evil has survived.
  2. Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 14, 1999

    Chapter One

    Where is it?

    Sighing in irritation, Jedi Apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi turned onto his stomach as he swung his body around on the top of his bed, leaning his head over its side and peering under the frame. Come on, he thought testily. Come on. I know you?re here. You have to be here somewhere. You didn?t just get up and walk away. Inanimate objects can?t do that. You?re here somewhere...... The Jedi Padawan inched forward as he continued to hang his head over the side of the bed, scanning the light blue carpeting covering the floor underneath it with his eyes while he looked for any trace of the rock that his Master had given him over seven years earlier. He had only recently noticed that it had somehow escaped from the pocket in his robe where he usually kept it. Obi-Wan had been searching his room for the stone for the past fifteen minutes, tearing it apart as his mild annoyance had grown into real frustration. Now the young Jedi?s meager possessions littered the floor of his room in the Jedi Temple along with his pillows and blankets while he checked the last place where his rock could have possibly disappeared. I just can?t believe this. I should not have to be looking for it. I?ve had it for over seven whole years now, and I can?t keep track of it? Why? How is that possible? It?s just a rock. A rock. My rock. My rock, yet it?s outsmarted me. I can?t find it anywhere. It?s not in the closet, not in my backpack, not on the floor, not on my desk, not under my chair, not in either of the drawers...... Where else can it possibly be? Not seeing any trace of the stone from his vantage point, Obi-Wan moved his head back and pulled himself up into a sitting position on his bed, crossing his right ankle over his left as he sat. He looked around at the walls and floor of his small room, hoping to discover that he had just overlooked it somehow in his haste to find it. The Jedi Padawan sighed again when he saw no sign of his possession. No. Nothing. I can?t see it. It?s not here. And it?s not under the bed. Not from that angle anyway. Puzzled, Obi-Wan scratched the back of his neck near his Padawan braid with his right hand. I did lose it in here, right? Yes, of course I did. I had it after dinner, and I have been here in my room since then, so I must have lost it in here. But I can?t find it. I?ve searched the whole room now, and there isn?t any sign of it. The Jedi Apprentice turned his head to the right and stared at the items and bedding covering the floor. No, it?s not there; I?ve checked everything. I don?t have enough stuff to lose it in that mess. I don?t have that many things, really. A few extra clothes, some holos, a couple of old birthday presents.....nothing else that?s extremely important, except for my lightsaber. Obi-Wan glanced down at the self-constructed weapon that hung on the left side of his belt. But that?s right here, and it certainly can?t help me find my rock. They don?t have anything in common, anyway. Except for the fact that I always have both of them with me..... Annoyed with himself, the young Jedi folded his arms across his chest. I always have both of them with me. My Force. How could I possibly lose it? The rock that Qui-Gon gave to me? Wanting to make sure that he had actually lost it, Obi-Wan checked again in the pocket in his robe where he normally kept the present from his Master. He directed his bright blue eyes down at the carpeted floor once more after he had reassured himself that its comforting presence was indeed truly gone. But I did lose it. I really lost it. Dammit! I lost the first present that Qui-Gon ever gave to me. For my thirteenth birthday, nonetheless. I actually lost it. Really. How did I manage to do this? There isn?t a hole in my robe. How?d it get out? Did it it just fall out? Where did it go if it?s not here? Why isn?t it here? No, I don?t know.....I just noticed that it was gone and then I started looking for it. Force. What am I supposed to do now? I can?t rep
  3. Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 14, 1999
    All my troubles seemed so far away
    Now it looks as though they're here to stay

    Chapter Two

    Yes, Master.

    He heard those words linked together often.

    After seven years, it was more than automatic for his Padawan to respond to him with those same exact two words, instinctual enough that occasionally his Apprentice would agree to something without realizing what his Master had actually said to him.

    But that wasn?t necessarily a bad thing.

    Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn continued to smile as he calmly looked out of the large bay windows in front of him at the sparkling night sky of Coruscant from the vantage point of one of the many living spaces in the Jedi Temple. He shook his head in amusement as he recalled the sheer irritation that his Padawan had directed at his math assignment. Too bad you did hear me the first time, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon thought bemusedly. I know how much you dislike the written exercises I give you. Especially the problem sets. As the Jedi Master had seen earlier, it was clearly apparent from the younger Jedi?s disposition towards his homework that he simply did not see the inherent value in it or its relation to his Jedi training. Even though he did wish that Obi-Wan was more attentive to getting his assignments completed on time, the Jedi Master easily empathized with his Apprentice?s dislike towards them. I never saw the point of any of those things either when I was his age. All those different subjects that I make him learn don?t directly relate to what he does as an Apprentice on a daily basis. The fact that those math problems and political essays encourage his logical and higher thinking skills isn?t readily apparent to him....particularly when he gets frustrated with it. And, the elder Jedi admitted to himself, some of that math that I give him is quite theoretical. A Jedi must be ready for anything, but that may not have a practical use for him beyond the mere act of completing it. After all, when?s the last time I?ve had to even think about homogeneous equations for damping systems? I?m not even sure that I remember how to integrate correctly; I learned how to do that so long ago..... While he stared at the darkness ahead of him, Qui-Gon?s thoughts drifted to the other task that he had assigned his Padawan. Amazing. What a complete mess. It won?t take him long to actually clean it up, but apparently he hasn?t had any success in looking for whatever item he?s misplaced if his room is in such disarray. Although Obi-Wan had not told his Master what he had lost, Qui-Gon had an idea of what it might be. Obi-Wan doesn?t tear his room apart for no reason, yet nearly everything he owns was strewn on the floor. Plus, he didn?t want my help. He must have lost something very important to him.....or something he doesn?t want me to know that he lost. Or both. Which of his possessions would fall into that category? Hmmmm. Not much; he doesn?t have that many things to lose. His lightsaber most certainly would fit that criteria, but I saw that hanging on his belt. What else has that level of importance to him? Nothing except..... The Jedi Master nodded to himself slightly as an image of the object popped into his mind. Yes, the rock I gave him for his thirteenth birthday. That has to be it. Even more than seven years later, he takes it everywhere with him, and it would be one of the few items he would be upset about misplacing. Qui-Gon smiled again as he thought about how much his gift still meant to Obi-Wan years later. It?s really quite astonishing that at his age he brings it with him. At twenty years old, he really cares about it enough to continue to do that. Well, it just goes to show that I did choose the right gift for him back then if he still likes it.... So that?s what he was worrying about, finishing his homework and finding his rock. Perfectly normal every day concerns for a young adult of his age, and much less stressful than the things he usually has to think about as Jedi. Suddenly Qui-Gon?s grin faded as he directe
  4. Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 14, 1999
    I?ve been sittin? here
    Trying to find myself

    Chapter Three

    Two hours.

    Just two hours left.

    And then it begins.

    Jedi Apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi shifted in his seat and stared at the diverse array of controls in front of him, carefully monitoring the flickering displays of the transport?s cockpit while he watched the ship?s estimated time of arrival count down towards zero. The Jedi Padawan had been overseeing the small craft?s progress for well over an hour now, quietly gazing at the stars streaking across the viewscreen in between his nearly continuous clock watching of a certain digital readout. At first, he had tried to avoid it, pretending to concentrate on the viewscreen?s polarizer control panel and the hyperdrive?s magnetic coupling readout in the case his Master happened to walk into the room. But after he had snuck a peek at the liquid crystal display for the seventeenth time in twelve minutes, Obi-Wan had given up the pretense of pretending not to care when they would arrive at their destination, moving the black padded pilot?s chair right in front of the numerical gauge in order to see it more clearly. Besides the routinely boring yet necessary monitoring of the transport?s progress, his eyes had been glued to the changing numbers, watching them slowly shift downward towards his eventual fate. Two hours, Obi-Wan repeated to himself for the third time. Two hours until we land....and two hours until Qui-Gon has to start testing me. Only two hours now. Damn. Desperately wishing that he was anywhere else in the galaxy, the Jedi Apprentice sighed heavily. Two hours. Then it?s time for my formal Padawan Learner Evaluation to begin. Right after we land. Sith. Force, I wish I didn?t have to go through this. What a waste of time. Admittedly Obi-Wan saw the Council?s reasoning behind the test as his Master had explained it to him, but that understanding didn?t want to make him go through it any more than if he hadn?t grasped its importance. This is stupid. This is a waste of my time and Qui-Gon?s. Two Jedi...defenders of the galaxy....and we have to spend our time doing this. Gah. We aren?t going to accomplish anything for the next couple of days; he?s just going to test me. That?s it. Couldn?t the Council send us somewhere to do something that?s actually useful instead of testing me? Aren?t there any planetary wars that need stopping or Senate diplomats that need to be escorted somewhere? We aren?t helping anyone by accomplishing this. Obi-Wan crossed his arms across his chest as he let his anxiety build, mentally running through all the complaints that he couldn?t bring himself to acknowledge aloud. And I can?t believe that Qui-Gon?s known that I?d have to go through this since he chose me all those years ago, and he didn?t ever mention it to me! Nothing. He?s known the whole time, and he just decided to tell me last night, right before I went to bed so I wouldn?t have any preparation time because it?s not something I?m supposed to know about. A surprise evaluation. Well, he certainly succeeded in surprising me. Completely frustrated with the inevitability of his situation, the young Jedi stifled an urge to set his forehead on the panel in front of him and bang his skull against it. This is so stupid. I can?t believe it. This is really happening; I am really going to be tested on my skill as a Jedi, and the whole Council will look at the results and comment on them. Of course, that?s probably why Qui-Gon didn?t tell me. He wouldn?t want me to sit around and worry about it for weeks ahead of time. Suddenly the Jedi Padawan smiled sardonically. Instead, I?m getting that all done right now. How nice.

    But that?s pretty much all I?ve done today, Obi-Wan admitted to himself as he looked over the displays in front of him once again. Nothing exciting. The day as a whole hadn?t been interesting in any sense of the word. In the morning, he had woke up late back at the Temple, forcing him to skip breakfast in order to be able to assist Qui-Gon with the load
  5. Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 14, 1999
    They say that every man bleeds just like me

    Chapter Four


    It was a hybrid planet, consisting of mostly swamp and forest terrain that was nearly completely homogeneously intermixed. Quite small, and rather worthless in the grand scheme of things. No native sentient life forms, no large or rich mineral deposits, no large seas to be used for hydrofarming, and nothing that held any sort of physical value that could be exploited. So the globe was untouched by development or rational beings, alone on the Outer Rim except for the sporadic Republic science survey.

    And the occasional Padawan Learner evaluation.

    Gazing at the enormous swamp and forest in front of him, Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn smiled broadly, glad to be outside. He stared at the trees and growth around him, feeling their energy pulse into him through the Living Force. Even though the planet didn?t appear to have any other value, he had to admit that it was exquisite, the landscape possessing an ancient and ethereal beauty that he hadn?t seen duplicated anywhere else. The contrast between the mixed types of terrain, the swamp against the forest, was striking, the slight fog underneath the gray sky overhead only adding to the effect. Yes, it?s quite beautiful, the Jedi Master told himself as he looked at the density of the plants before him. Of course, I?m the only one appreciating it, aren?t I? The elder Jedi turned his head to see his Padawan standing a few feet behind him in the doorway of the small transport ship, staring down at his boots and not daring to look up at the cramped clearing that he had landed the craft in. Yes, I am. As usual. Qui-Gon frowned as he sensed his Apprentice?s total apathy to his new surroundings. Getting Obi-Wan to see the inherent value in simple living things such as the forest ahead of them was continuous struggle given his natural lack of sensitivity to the Living Force. No, he just doesn?t see it. He doesn?t sense what I do. The trees and plants living on all the planets that we?ve visited don?t initially say anything to Obi-Wan, so he stops listening. He?s too impatient because he?s not aware enough of the Living Force. I always have to remind him to pay attention.... But this time was different. Now it wasn?t simply a different focus on the Force that kept his Padawan?s attention away from the living things around him. This time, Qui-Gon was aware that his Apprentice?s indifference to his environment stemmed from a much different source.

    I thought I took care of that.

    Dammit, I thought that he believed me. I really did. I thought I told him how he could deal with it, how he could show himself that he didn?t have to be anxious. But it didn?t work. It?s still bothering him. Amazing. Moving his head to stare at the landscape before him, the Jedi Master?s worry about his Padawan deepened. It didn?t work. What I told him to do didn?t all, apparently. He?s already reverted to his earlier behavior. He?s not saying anything and politely avoiding me. Force. Didn?t that have any effect on him? Didn?t he believe me? I don?t know. I guess not. Maybe it just wasn?t enough. Obi-Wan simply doesn?t seem able to push away his self-doubt when he?s confronted with it. He keeps thinking about it, even when he knows that what he?s thinking is false. Or, the elder Jedi told himself, when he knows that I would vehemently agree with his assessment of himself. He can?t get rid of it, always looking back on his past mistakes and the things that he can ruin in the future. He?s just sensitive......too sensitive. Things bother Obi-Wan so much that he has to try to shut them out, and that just reinforces the barriers that he puts up. He needs to relax and concentrate on the moment.....he needs to stop worrying. And I need to make him see that somehow. But now isn?t the time anymore. Deeply annoyed with the way that the day had unfolded, Qui-Gon sighed softly in order that his Padawan wouldn?t hear, disturbed at how closely his thoughts about his Apprentice mirro
  6. Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 14, 1999
    Daddy called me a silly bore
    Bet he won't say that anymore
    Cause the way his body is severed in two
    His vocal cords are gonna be hard to use

    Chapter Six

    I shouldn?t be like this.

    I shouldn?t be sad.

    But I am.

    And it just won?t go away.

    Lying on his back, Jedi Apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi stared up at the ivory ceiling above him, idly tracing a nonexistent pattern across the blank exterior with his cobalt hued eyes. Even with the lights off there was enough illumination to see by in the windowless bedroom, albeit not easily. However, the lack of light didn?t concern him. Having his surroundings draped in shadows mattered little when there wasn?t anything visually stimulating that asked to be looked at. The decor of his temporary quarters was quite bland, with the floor, the walls, the bed frame, and the piece of furniture that was attempting to pass for both a clothes dresser and a desk all clad in an identical chalk pigmentation that he would have sworn wasn?t quite managing to hang onto the metal underneath. Even the bed sheets and pillows were the same pale color, not fighting the bleak motif of the room, but instead adopting the sickly tint as their own. But it?s not as if I really care, Obi-Wan told himself somberly. I don?t care. Why would I? There?s no reason to care. It?s simply my room for now, and it is what it is. Besides, it matches my mood perfectly. It?s white. Muted. Lifeless. Just like me. Sighing heavily, the young Jedi slowly closed his eyes, forcing himself to stop looking at the dismal canvas that so closely mirrored his own sentiment. He had woke up hours ago, much earlier than he needed to be awake, even on a day like today. After a prolonged yet failed attempt to fall asleep again, Obi-Wan had showered, dressed, and, with nothing better to do, crawled back into his bed while his Master continued to sleep. Now the Jedi Padawan silently remained under the covers that he had been draped over him for some time, the blankets around his clothed body comforting him even as he loathed what concealing himself beneath them meant. Just like me, he repeated to himself while his own imagined voice seemed to echo what he had just thought within the cramped confines of his room. Hollow. Blank. Nothing there. Exactly like me. I am blank. I just want to lie here, stay here under the blankets and not do anything again, not that there?s anything to do right now anyway. I simply want to stay here without worrying about anything else again. I want to hide under the covers so everything will just go away. So I can remain here in the dark without something always bothering me. That?s exactly what I want to do. The nervousness and anger that the Jedi Apprentice had felt so intensely the day before had vanished completely without leaving any traces of it on his mood. Even the fear and terror that he had experienced during the middle of the night after waking from his nightmare had faded, dissipating somehow during the rest of his sleep cycle. And with none of those emotions still clinging to him, Obi-Wan felt cold, drained of any possible warmth or feeling as the pale environment around him reflected the inner emptiness that he had been experiencing since he had awakened. Pulling his blankets even more tightly around himself, the young Jedi jerked slightly. Yes, I just want to stay right here. Right here. In the dark. Exactly as I am. Under the blankets where it?s nice and warm, especially with my robe on. Where it?s calm and quiet without anything happening. Where I?m protected. But.....this doesn?t make any sense. I shouldn?t be like this now; this shouldn?t be happening. I shouldn?t want to just lie here forever. I shouldn?t want to close my eyes and stay under the blankets. I shouldn?t want to hide.

    So why do I feel like this?

    Sighing again, Obi-Wan tried to smile as he ruefully thought back to two days ago when his only concerns had been finding his rock and finishing his homework back at the Temple, before he had been aware of the i
  7. Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 14, 1999
    Watch you spurt like a garden hose

    Chapter Seven

    ?A mirror.?


    ?A land speeder.?


    ?A thermocouple.?

    Correct again.

    ?A lightsaber.?

    Amazing. Correct yet again.

    As if he?d actually get any of these wrong.

    Advancing the sequence ahead to the next item, Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn nodded in the direction of his Apprentice, once again indicating to his Padawan that he had correctly determined the picture of the object which was displayed on the small viewing screen that his Master held. Obi-Wan stood a few feet away from the elder Jedi under the bright blue canopy of Lich, his eyes locked on the grass covering the ground before him not in concentration, but in an attempt to hide his frustration with the task that he was currently in the middle of performing. From the vantage point of the downed tree that he was sitting on, the Jedi Master watched his student skillfully weave his feelings into the presence of the larger forest, only barely sensing his Padawan?s irritation after drawing on the Force in order to differentiate Obi-Wan from the rest of the life that pulsed around him. Yes, he?s come a long way in emotional control, Qui-Gon mused objectively. If I didn?t know better, I?d say that he was meditating. I can just pick up on his indifference to this, and that?s only by taking advantage of the avenues available to me. Quite an accomplishment. And rather recent, I believe. I doubt he had quite this level of mastery over himself even a year ago. The manipulation required to perform what he?s doing is quite intricate; it?s very complicated in comparison to merely suppressing what he?s feeling.... Suddenly the Jedi Master let out a sigh as he outwardly expressed his own irritation. Too bad I?m not testing that instead. That would be much more interesting. He?s not the only one who doesn?t like this exercise. For a moment, the elder Jedi stared down at the screen in his hands as he nodded to his Padawan yet again and changed the display for what seemed like the millionth time. The undertaking that the two Jedi were currently engaged in was simple. After Qui-Gon changed the item exhibited on the handheld visual display, Obi-Wan used the Force to identify the object that he wasn?t able to see otherwise. His Master confirmed his answer and then changed the screen, starting the process over again. Simple. Very simple. Very, very simple. Easy. So easy that Qui-Gon was able to completely separate his attention, nodding after his Padawan answered him without always totally listening to his responses. So easy that Obi-Wan had little else to concentrate on besides his own thoughts because what was being asked of him was so rudimentary that he had mastered it many years ago.

    As soon as Qui-Gon changed the object on the display once more, Obi-Wan?s spoke again, this time his answer successfully drifting into his Master?s thoughts. ?A communicator.?

    Yes. Right again. What else? The Jedi Master nodded again at his Apprentice, immediately turning his attention back to his own annoyance at the exercise. Yes, I certainly don?t blame him for being frustrated with this. I?m frustrated with this. It?s quite tedious. This is beneath his skill level. Way, way beneath it. It?s nearly insulting to ask him to do this. But I have to. It?s all laid out right here before me, straight from the Council...... At the very beginning of the exercise, Obi-Wan had answered extremely rapidly, talking as fast as possible in an attempt to make his Master switch the three dimensional wire pictures on the display as fast as he was able to identify them. Unfortunately, Qui-Gon had then been forced instead to inform his Padawan that because every section of the exercise was regulated according to the Council?s copious guidelines, there was a both a maximum and minimum display time that the elder Jedi had to enforce. After he had resigned himself to the allotted pace, the younger Jedi still answered very quickly, impatiently attempting to plow through th
  8. Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 14, 1999
    Bloody mess all over my clothes

    Chapter Eight

    I?m going to win.

    I can feel it.

    Energized by the thought, Jedi Apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi ducked as the emerald blade of his Master?s lightsaber swung towards him, carefully moving out of the way and launching a counterattack of his own. The two Jedi had been sparring for a considerable amount of time now, the battle seesawing back and forth so much that his own self confidence was the only thing that gave Obi-Wan any indication that he might overpower his opponent in the end. Even without a clear victory in sight, the fight itself was going well. Although he didn?t have an advantage over Qui-Gon, neither did his Master dominate over him. The Jedi Padawan estimated that it only would be a short matter of time before one of them physically expressed their growing fatigue and gave the other the required opening needed to win. I just have to make sure that it?s not me, Obi-Wan thought decisively. If Qui-Gon slips up, even slightly, I know I can win this. I just have to wait for the right time and be ready for it when it happens. I have to recognize it. While his focus was on triumphing over his Master, the young Jedi was glad that he had adjusted to the slightly altered nature of the match. At first, after they had set up the recording devices and were ready to begin, he had thought that the cameras would distract him, pull his attention away from the fight enough that he wouldn?t be able to even keep up with Qui-Gon, much less try to win. But he had nearly forgotten about them after a few moments, his determination to show his best form overruling his trepidation that the whole Council would later be reviewing the entire fight at their leisure. All in all, everything seemed to be going well. The other two exercises that he had already completed that day had been fine, and the one that he was currently engaged in seemed to be going even better. Normally, Obi-Wan would have been extremely pleased with both his performance in his evaluation thus far and the way the match against his Master was shaping up, how well the Force seemed to be flowing through him today.

    But today simply refused to be normal.

    Today he had been bothered by unwanted and disturbing thoughts, starting shortly after breakfast and continuing throughout the day, their number and intensity slowly increasing even as he tried to stop them from having free reign over his mind. Matching his Master blow for blow, Obi-Wan stepped backwards, unconsciously dividing his attention between the task at hand and his concern over the line of flawed reasoning that had been plaguing him all day. I just don?t get it. I don?t understand it at all. I mean, it?s not as if I haven?t experienced odd thoughts before. Given my way of thinking, I don?t expect all my ideas and concepts to stream in some artificial logical order or even to make sense all the time. I?ve thought things like this before. Something that doesn?t belong or doesn?t have anything to do with the situation at hand. Something that doesn?t make any sense or something that?s downright sickening. But those things weren?t like this. Nothing like this. This....this is different. Very different. Too different.

    This won?t stop.

    No. It won?t go away. It just won?t go away.... The fact that the repetitive thoughts in his mind wouldn?t permanently leave him deeply troubled Obi-Wan, especially considering the nature of their subject matter. No, I can?t stop this. It?s different. All those other times I could just shrug it off and forget about it, and I?d never bother me again. But I can?t forget this. It keeps coming back the moment I let up. Unless I have something else to think about. And even then it still runs in the back of my mind. I just don?t seem to be able to-

    Run him through.

    Instantly realizing what was happening to him, Obi-Wan swore inwardly as he twisted his body in order to get a clearer shot at his Master. Damn it, the Jedi Padawan thought angrily. There it is agai
  9. Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 14, 1999
    All my collection
    Adorns my room on bamboo poles
    Used to be a little
    But a little got more and more
    Now I?m craving yours

    Chapter Nine

    Well, I know that this isn?t one of my better stories.....

    But I didn?t think it was quite this bad.

    Apparently I was wrong.


    Slightly disappointed with the reception that his tale was receiving, Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn looked across the dented and battered table inside of the rundown kitchen of the transport ship at his student, who clearly wasn?t hearing a word that he was saying. Again, the elder Jedi mused. For the third time now. At this meal, anyway. ?Obi-Wan?? he asked again, loudly pronouncing his Padawan?s given name as his eyes rested on his Apprentice.

    Unlike his previous announcement, this one succeeded in jarring his Padawan out of his reverie. The Jedi Master watched as Obi-Wan blinked and turned to look at his Master, slowly dragging his gaze away from the nonexistent point on the left wall that apparently had been more interesting than listening to his teacher. The younger man stared at Qui-Gon in surprise with his fork stopped in mid-air, leaving a mound of coral colored vegetables dangling in space. ?What??

    The elder Jedi said nothing, merely raising one eyebrow at his student?s questioning gaze. You know as well as I what you were doing, Obi-Wan. Or rather, what you weren?t. You don?t need to ask me because you don?t need me to spell it out for you. Or you shouldn?t.

    After an awkward pause, Obi-Wan shook his head, a contrite tone creeping into his voice as he spoke. ?I?m sorry, Master. I wasn?t paying attention.?

    Again. He wasn?t listening again. What is it now, the fourth time? Not including anything else? Amazing. Should I even bother to try to finish? This really isn?t that entertaining...but I might as well. Perhaps he?ll actually pay attention this time. I hope. The Jedi Master began to continue his story again, but he immediately stopped when he noticed the same distant look quickly settle back onto his Padawan?s face. I can?t believe it. He just isn?t listening to me at all. Is he even trying to stay in the moment? ?Obi-Wan?? Qui-Gon called forcefully, dragging his Apprentice back to the present for what seemed like the millionth time.

    ?What?? the Jedi Padawan exclaimed in response, the same state of surprise obscuring his features as he looked at Qui-Gon once again. ?Oh. I?m sorry, Master,? Obi-Wan stated honestly, cringing at the disapproval hiding behind his Master?s level gaze. ?Again. I apologize for my inattentiveness. What were you saying??

    Ready to give the reprimand that he had prepared, Qui-Gon hesitated while he watched his student, mentally calculating how ineffectual it would most likely be given Obi-Wan?s current behavior. Rapidly discarding it, the older Jedi moved his gaze down to his dinner. ?Nothing, Padawan,? he stated quietly, resigned to eating the rest of his ration meal with his Apprentice in total silence. I give up. If he doesn?t want to listen, then there really is no point in saying it. I already know what happened on account of I was actually there, and since he doesn?t want to pay attention, I?m not going to talk to myself. Displeased with the how the meal was progressing, the Jedi Master turned his head and looked at the young man across from him, frowning at the innocently blank yet somehow disconcerting look on his Padawan?s face. I can?t believe this; it just doesn?t make any sense. He doesn?t even know I?m staring at him. Obi-Wan hasn?t given any indication that he knows I?m looking at him. He?s really that preoccupied. Again. Just like this morning. No, Qui-Gon corrected himself. Worse than this morning. I did manage to talk to him a little then. But not now. The beginning and end of the day. How odd. He was like this at breakfast, but not at lunch and certainly not while I was testing him. For all three exercises he was focused. On task. Alert, just as he normally is. But ever since we came back to the shu
  10. Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 14, 1999
    Night brings bad dreams
    Bad dreams with guillotines

    Chapter Ten


    Can?t sleep.

    Can?t sleep make go away can?t stop just keeps coming back and trying but I won?t leave me alone because can?t sleep and think about but I am and want to sleep but can?t dream again no again always blood so long dark alone but not because I can?t be choose quiet I want to no not that leave me never argue then more frightening all time since can?t sleep. Can?t. Cannot. Can not. Sleep? Of not. Can?t. Can?t can?t can?t can?t-can?t-can?tcan?tcan?tcan?t. CAN?T!!!!

    Can?t sleep.

    It was worse the second time.

    Much, much worse.

    The rapid beating of his heart reverberating in his ears, Jedi Apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi hid inside of his bed within his assigned quarters on the small transport ship, his blankets wrapped tightly around him while they vainly attempted to protect him from his own panic. He kept his eyes clamped shut and his head bowed as he lay on his left side in the encompassing darkness, too alarmed by the sheer intensity of his own thoughts to notice that he had begun to rock himself back and forth the instant he had awakened, the coping mechanism immediately activated the moment he had become troubled enough to need it. Fervently trying not to think about what he had just imagined even as it seared into his conscious mind, Obi-Wan coughed loudly, his muscles tensing in response to his own remembered actions. He had dreamed that he had killed his Master again. In retrospect, it wasn?t surprising given his thoughts throughout the day and the events contained within his dream of the previous night. But none of that seemed to matter. It was too horrifying to be something that Obi-Wan could become accustomed to, and the fact that he had already experienced it once before hadn?t immunized him against it. Regardless of its surrounding circumstances, his vision had managed to shock Obi-Wan when it had reoccurred; the event that in the deepest confines of his heart he hoped would never happen losing none of its power when he was the one to carry it out for the second time. The dream was different this time. The exact same circumstances in the exact same order, yet somehow the vision had managed to transfigure into an event that was even more terrifying than merely killing the one man that he admired most. Obi-Wan had been aware this time. Slightly aware, at least. Not awake enough to wake himself up or convince himself that what he was experiencing was a vicious fantasy created by his unconscious mind, but still aware. And that had made it worse. He had been unable and unwilling to prevent Qui-Gon?s imagined death, the chain of events leading up to the murder moving steadily forward as though they were predestined. Obi-Wan moved as though there was something assisting him in his task, steadying his body even as he ripped out his Master?s neck, invisibly yet patiently guiding his hands through the process. Under these circumstances, being slightly aware worse than useless. Realizing the meanings of his actions simply didn?t give him enough control to alter the unstoppable course of his dream or the strength of his feelings, the relentless need to kill crushing what paltry opposition there was to the idea in his mind. The jagged dichotomy drove part of him into self loathing as he was simultaneously thoroughly enjoying himself, his disgust doing nothing to diminish the extreme sense of peace and accomplishment that overtook him the instant that Qui-Gon died. As Obi-Wan dropped to the ground alongside his now deceased Master, both joy and revulsion existed in perfect harmony in his soul, neither daring to interfere with the other. He had murdered Qui-Gon in a dream for the second time. If that had been all, it wouldn?t have been completely unforeseen given its marked similarly to his previous vision. Noticeably worse, but tolerable. Endurable. Sustainable. Something he could wake up from and deal with in a reasonable amount of time much as he had been forced to the night be
  11. Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 14, 1999
    New chapter time.
  12. Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 14, 1999
    ?Sorry, Doc, but I?ve been crazy.?

    Chapter Eleven






    Come on, Obi-Wan......come on.


    Wake up, Obi-Wan.


    Open your eyes, Obi-Wan. Wake up.

    Huh? Wake up?

    Yes. Wake up now.

    No. Don?t wanna. Wanna sleep.

    I know, Obi-Wan. But you can sleep later. Right now, you have to wake up. You can?t kill him unless you wake up.

    Kill him?

    There?s a good boy. What a good listener. Now it?s time to get up, Obi-Wan. Rise and shine.

    Wait. What?

    Wake up. Get up. Make Qui-Gon shut up. Go on, Obi-Wan. Kill him.


    Of course. Come on. Wake up. You?ve waited long enough. No more stalling.

    It?s not stall-

    Obi-Wan, it?s a beautiful day.


    A magnificent day. A perfect day for a long awaited demise. Come on. Do it. Murder your Master now. You know you want to. You?ve always wanted to.

    Kill him, Obi-Wan.

    Be a good boy.



    Jerking himself up off of the comforter that he had fallen asleep on, Jedi Apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi started as he awoke to the sound of someone calling his name, turning his head to look at the closed entrance to his room on the small run-down transport ship.

    ?Obi-Wan?? the voice prompted again from the other side of the door, both louder and more insistent in its second incarnation.

    For a moment, the younger man stared vaguely in the approximate direction of the sound, attempting to rouse himself in less than the amount of time that he usually needed to awake. What, Obi-Wan thought distractedly as he tried to make himself focus on the fact that he was now conscious. What? Someone calling me? Who? Qui-Gon? Master? ?Master?? he ventured in confusion, his disorientation lessening while a fit of soft coughing unkindly jarred him into full awareness.

    ?Yes,? the Jedi Master stated calmly, his morning serenity tangible through the metal wall. ?It?s time to get up, Padawan.?

    At Qui-Gon?s simple pronouncement, the Jedi Apprentice frowned. ?Time to get up,? he repeated quietly. Time to get up. Wake up, Obi-Wan. Time to get up. But...I was up. I was. Really. Already. I woke up. I got up. I was up. Why would I have to do it again? ?I?m coming, Master,? Obi-Wan proclaimed loudly even as he didn?t move from his now sitting position on his bed.

    ?Good,? the older man acknowledged. The Jedi Master?s response died rapidly as he spoke, the slight sound of movement accompanying his voice indicating that the elder Jedi had already retreated from his place outside his student?s doorway.

    Obi-Wan listened silently until he was sure that his Master was gone and then restlessly looked around his claustrophobic room, his eyes gliding uneasily over his surroundings. Dang it. I can?t believe this. I was up. I was. I was awake this morning. I know I was. But Qui-Gon wouldn?t have had to wake me up if I was still up. I must have fell asleep, I guess. That?s why I was lying on top of my comforter. On top of my bed. Odd. I mean, I don?t remember falling asleep again. When did I do that? What did I do this morning? Recalling his actions of the morning so far, the Jedi Padawan sat quietly, fitfully fidgeting in place. Okay. Remember. Um...I woke up. Saw what time it was. Shower, then I got dressed. Didn?t run into Qui-Gon ever, not like usual. Hmmm. Sudden insight instantly jogged his memory once Obi-Wan glanced down at his feet, seeing his socks covering his lower appendages instead of his usual footwear. Ah. Yes. That?s it. That has to be it. That makes sense. Now I remember. After I finished putting my tunic on, I sat down to put my boots on. And soon after sitting down and feeling how inviting my bed still was, I told myself that I could have a quick nap. I was so tired that I swore to myself I would wake up in time for breakfast. That?s what I thought, anyway. I was actually weary enough to believe it. Wondering exactly how much time had elapsed since his p
  13. The Butler

    The Butler Jedi Padawan star 4

    Oct 18, 1999
    New post! Good! Obi-Wan partly evil! Bad!
    (Light, I'm starting to think in short sentences. Oh, well.)
  14. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Jan 12, 2000
    JOWK, I don't know whether to post or to run screaming into the night. This is very disturbing. What is Obi-Wan going to be like the next time he wakes up? What will Qui-Gon do? Post soon, for the love of the Force, post soon!
  15. jodiwent

    jodiwent Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 11, 2000
    Creepy as ever. Now get Obi-Wan unposessed. Or is the spirit going to move on to Qui-Gon?
  16. Trika_Kenobi

    Trika_Kenobi Jedi Master star 6

    Nov 4, 1999
    *jaw drops to the floor* Whoa...
  17. mouse2

    mouse2 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Oct 29, 1999
    Poor Obi-Wan! Well at least Qui-Gon knows something is going on now.

    Please give us more JOWK. Please let Obi-Wan be okay!
  18. Bastet

    Bastet Jedi Padawan star 4

    Dec 30, 1999
    Poor Obi-Wan! I hope Qui-Gon can figure out how to help him, before it's too late! Aaahh! Post more soon!!
    I love this story!
  19. Kelly Kenobi

    Kelly Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Mar 23, 2000
    Now that was freaky... I am speachless!!!!!

    Please post more soon.... must know what will happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  20. JediCandy

    JediCandy Jedi Youngling star 3

    Mar 24, 2000
    Oooh. Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde syndrome.....mmmmmm....I like it (not that I'm twisted or anything, Right JediCandy? <<nods>>Right JediCandy!)
  21. Obi the Kid

    Obi the Kid Jedi Padawan star 4

    Apr 13, 2000
    That was sooooooooooo good and very intense.

    What's with the coughing anyway?

    Please post more soon, Qui really needs to get to the bottom of this and help the poor kid.
  22. GentleBant

    GentleBant Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Sep 21, 1999

    <eyes glued to screen>

  23. Aunt Jar Jar Mimah

    Aunt Jar Jar Mimah Jedi Master star 5

    Oct 10, 1999
    Very nice. I'm anxious to read more. :)

    (I gotta admit. I like that w/ Snowboard, I can click on Jedi Obi Wan's name and find when she has posted recently w/o searching through fan fic).
  24. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 7, 2000
    Seeing that you reposted I decided to re-read it.

    Wow!!! It's really hard to come back to reality after that. How totally awesome and highly disturbing. I love it!!!
  25. Jedi Master Mara Jade

    Jedi Master Mara Jade Jedi Padawan star 4

    Nov 8, 1999
    Wow, I really would have liked to see that post live.

    It would make a Sort of like the Exorcist. =)

    More, soon?
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