Tomorrow Can Wait (JA) : New post 23rd Feb!

Evla had been sitting back in her chair, dozing and waking and dozing again?and wondering what exactly she was going to say.

//How do I say it?// she wondered, feeling helplessness once more descend upon her. //How do I explain that I lied? Do I say 'I'm sorry Jemmiah but I didn't want you to know? I didn't think you would cope well?' And what will she think then? Will she hate me? Curse my name? Will she cry? How can I comfort her?//

Her thoughts were interrupted by the creaking of a door and when she looked up there was the pale but smiling figure of her daughter. Suddenly all he resolve disappeared.

//I can't do it?I just can't. I know I am a coward but I can't bear to see her miserable. Qui-Gon, what do I do now?//

"Were you sleeping?" Jemmiah asked hesitantly. "Because if you were I won't disturb you."

"N-no. That's okay." Evla smiled. "I was just snoozing. How was your nap?"

"I didn't sleep." Jemmy shrugged. "I guess my mind was just too cluttered and full of trivia. You know how it is sometimes."

"Is something bothering you or is it what we were talking about earlier?" Evla squinted at her perceptively. "It is, isn't it? Your still worried what Obi-Wan will get up to whilst he's at this dinner dance."

Jemmiah sat down beside her on the sofa and looked forlornly at her.

"I guess I've always paid too much attention to the way I look or how people think I look." She admitted miserably. "I used to be repulsive to look at?"

"You never were!" Evla sounded shocked.

"Oh, come on?I was hideous. Big, glow in the dark freaky eyes and a pointy chin, with hair that did it's own thing. You can't say I was a beauty. Everyone thought I was ugly."

"Then they were wrong!" Evla snapped. "You were never repulsive. You were unique. Which of us are perfect?"

"Things got better when I grew up. I was quite happy. I almost liked my face, which is terribly big-headed but it's true."

"There's no shame in that." The crèche master answered her.

"I just feel that I've gone back to how I was. I don't look pretty. I don't feel pretty. If I think that, what is Ben going to think? I couldn't really blame him for finding someone else, could I?"

"Jemmiah," Evla said carefully and slowly, fixing her with a look that suggested her daughter might not like what she was about to say, "you have a problem here that only you can sort out. It's not about how you look or how you act - it's about how you feel. Something tells me that you've lost all confidence in yourself. You have to believe that Obi-Wan would never desert you?"

"I don't want him to feel sorry for me!" Jemmiah looked stung. "That's no reason to stay together."

"He stays with you because he wants to." Evla said simply. "He sees in you things about yourself that you cannot. He sees the goodness in you. He sees the warm person you are. Most of all he can tell when you are hurt and pretend not to be."

She took Jemmiah's chin in her hands and forced the girl to look into her eyes.

"Sweetheart, you'll get that conviction and strength back one day soon and then there will be no stopping you. And you'll even learn to like yourself along the way. It might take a long time, but I promise you that one day you will look in that mirror and see somebody who is happy and comfortable with being who she is."

"Knowing my luck it won't be me!" Jemmy laughed, causing Evla to laugh too.

"You just need to time to relax and get stronger. When the body heals the mind heals too."

Jemmiah listened, trying her hardest to believe what she said.

"Your greatest problem is that nobody valued you when you were little." Evla watched her daughter flinch at the truth of her words. "But I valued you, and so did Qui-Gon. You have friends who care about you. Turn to them if you need help. It's no sin to rely on people. It isn't a weakness." She put an arm round Jemmiah's waist and gave her a hug. "You don't have to do things on your own like you always have."

Jemmiah rested her head against Evla's shoulder. "You're my strength." She smiled thankfully. "I

 

Up!

 

Jemmiah, you have uncovered the secret of beauty--it's all in how you feel. You are absolutely right! And the secret of chocolate, too. "What do you mean, SHARE?"

I also loved the way where Obi-Wan truthfully answered that there was no sign on Qui-Gon's backside--it was on his back. "Pinch me!" Is it really Jemmiah's work?

Come on, Evla, get up the nerve!

 

Evla you have me biting my nails to the quick! You must tell Jemmy! If you don't it'll be so much worse, and I have a feeling that Jemmy won't forgive you for not telling her the truth.

C'mon Qui! Admit it! You love it!

 

"Aren't you enjoying the vid?" Jemmy asked after an hour or so had passed. "We could put on another one if you don't like it."

"Are YOU enjoying it?" Evla asked decisively.

"Yeah, it's not bad." Jemmiah confessed. "I like the supporting male lead. He's kind of cute."

Evla chuckled at her. "In that case it's fine with me."

"But you were sleeping again." Jemmy sighed. "I saw you. It can't be that interesting if you're falling asleep all the time."

"I saw your head nodding as well!" Evla countered.

"Yes, well I'm tired." Jemmy shrugged. "But I won't be beaten! I'm going to get through this holo and then I'm putting on a vid of your choice. What will it be?"

"My choice?" Evla put down the book she had been reading. "Anything at all?"

"Yup!" Jemmy answered.

"Okay?" Evla thought about it for a moment, considering what she could choose. "How about 'Temptations of The Heart?"

"You must know the lines to that by now!" laughed Jemmy.

"I even know the lines belonging to the window cleaner." Evla answered. "And he didn't have any lines! I suppose it's the same reason you keep rereading old books. You like the words. They're familiar and comforting."

"Unlike the book you are reading." Commented the Corellian girl. "You've been reading it for months. Haven't you got to the end?"

"I'm only four pages away little Miss Smart Mouth!" Evla bantered with her daughter. "Anyhow, I am taking my time and enjoying it."

"Okay then." Jemmiah decided to humor her guardian. "I'll let you away with that. As soon as this one's over I'll put your vid on."

Evla looked around her, unhappy at her inability to make her confession. She HAD to tell her. Not telling her would only make it more cruel when she did find out. And it had to come from her?

"Jemmiah," Evla began to say as Jemmiah sipped at her small glass of wine.

"Uh-huh?" Jemmy asked, not removing her eyes from the screen.

The older woman sighed.

"Nothing." She said sadly.

********

"Qui-Gon." Finis 'Othello' Valorum smiled warmly at the tall master. "How are you enjoying the evening?"

"It's proving to be a great success, by the look of it." Qui-Gon turned round and watched the chattering, excitable tide of humans and non humans in the huge ball room, thronging their way round each other like ants on a mission.

"Very good, but I asked if YOU were enjoying yourself." Finis broke into an assured smile. "I suppose that's what comes of playing the diplomat for so many years."

"I'm sorry." Qui-Gon admitted. "That was not polite of me."

"Not at all."

"I am finding it somewhat difficult to enjoy myself." He confessed, watching the silvering brow crease slightly. "It's nothing to do with the party, more to do with my own problems."

"Do jedi have problems?" Valorum inquired.

"Believe me, the headaches a jedi suffer are every bit as real as that of anyone else. Sometimes worse." Jinn answered calmly.

Valorum nodded, knowing exactly what Qui-Gon was alluding to.

"The Kaligari business." His face darkened. "Believe me, we will catch whoever was responsible for this terrible deed." The man gazed perceptively into the blue eyes of the jedi. "I see your padawan made it along. Where is your young girl? I haven't seen her since the debutantes ball last year. She quite outshone everyone there."

"I doubt Senator Moesti agrees with you." Jinn said under his breath.

"Yes, well it certainly brightened up my evening." Valorum nodded. "I must say I expected to see her here."

"The truth is," Qui-Gon admitted with a considerable amount of guilt, "that I never passed the invitation on to her. She was simply not well enough to go and I didn't want her over taxing herself." He wondered about the somewhat disappointed look on the man's face and began to feel rather uncomfortable. Finis Valorum was a very fine man and a useful ally, but on the sly he was an inveterate womaniser, leaving Qui-Gon rather glad that Jemmiah was safe at home.

"Do give my best regards to the young lady." The Chancellor nodded. "I've had an interest in

 

up!

 

The Chancellor is nothing but a dirty old man! After one of his best friends daughters! Has he no shame!!

And Evla... TELL HER!!!

 

"How's the book?" Jemmiah asked, lazing on the floor with her chin resting in both hands. "Got to the last page yet? How does it end?"

"I'll never get to the end if you keep on asking me every five minutes!" Evla laughed, placing a marker in the flimsy pages and putting the book down. Her gaze narrowed as she watched her daughter sneak another chocolate into her mouth.

"Jemmiah?" she warned again.

"What?" Jemmy smirked.

Evla yawned and smiled as she looked at the young lady. "Come here. I want to speak to you."

Jemmiah looked round, surprised. "It must be important if it's interrupting your fave holofilm!"

"The film's not important. You are important." She patted the seat next to her on the couch. "Sit please."

Still feeling slightly confused, Jemmiah helped herself up off the carpet with a wrist so frail that Evla was convinced it would snap at any moment. The thought was enough to banish any remaining ideas about telling her daughter the truth tonight. Yes, she had to do it soon but it was tonight that was important. Tomorrow could wait.

Jemmy sat down still looking baffled. "What is it?" she asked Evla, feeling slightly concerned. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, sweetheart I am fine. I will always be fine, never doubt that." She reached up to stroke her long, chestnut hair. "You look exhausted. Come on," she opened her arms wide and let Jemmiah snuggle up beside her. "We can watch the plot unfold together."

Jemmy smiled at her. "What do you think Obi-Wan and Qui-Gee are getting up to?"

"Knowing them, anything and everything. Let me tell you, Qui-Gon is every bit as capable of getting into scrapes as his padawan."

"Yeah?" Jemmy stared at her through tired and screwed up eyes. "You'll have to tell me about it some time."

The Corellian stole a quick glance at the chrono, and snickered involuntarily.

"You know, they should be getting ready to dance right about now." She giggled.

"Shhh." Evla continued to stroke her hair. "Get some rest."

As her eyes closed and feeling somewhat cold and the worst for wear after a long day, Jemmy couldn't help but be grateful for the warmth and comfort that Evla offered, burrowing into her side and letting her head rest upon the shoulder next to her. Evla watched as her daughter seemingly began to drift off to sleep. Goodness knows they had both deserved it.

Everything was going to be alright, Evla felt confident. She couldn't tell her right now. This moment was for them to enjoy, the calm before the inevitable storm.

//Enjoy the moment// Evla smiled fondly at the young lady teetering on the verge of sleep. Jemmiah would get better soon, she felt it. // I can help heal her when she's drifted off. And tomorrow's far away?for the moment it's just her and me and everything is fine with the galaxy. This is what my life has been about.//

"Have you finished that book yet?" the impudent Corellian voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Sleep, my angel." Commanded Evla, nudging Jemmiah with the force, channelling her own efforts into sending healing and comforting energy to the girl as she lay by her side. "Don't worry about the book. I've nearly reached the end."

***********

Qui-Gon felt slightly foolish being the only one of the three jedi present in the gigantic ballroom to be up and dancing. It was true had had added height that made him perhaps a little more elegant then either Dex or Obi-Wan, and his padawan's somewhat rounded shoulders -currently drooping in disgust- did perhaps detract from what was otherwise a reasonable appearance. Dex had always been fond of flirting and looked on dancing as a form of social foreplay. Qui-Gon wasn't sure why his friend was sitting in the wings this evening. Usually he was the first one onto the dance floor, intent on giving the ladies a good show like a preening bird displaying to potential mates. Perhaps it was out of deference to Krelo? Perhaps he just hadn't gotten over the whole damned Kaligari business? And why should he?

Why should any of them?

//It's still leaving its mark on all of us.// The

 

upping this for later on

 

By golly, Qui-Gon deserves to feel pain like that for believing, even for one short moment, that he was having a good time WITHOUT Leona! Grrr!

 

A further two hours passed with - as far as Obi-Wan was concerned - the speed of a narcoleptic slug. The situation was almost intolerable to him.

//I can't eat any more. I can't drink any more. I can't dance because I am useless at it. That doesn't leave me with much to do, does it? Other than meditating?and I'm not THAT desperate. Or am I?//

He watched as Qui-Gon (with his hand now sporting a temporary bandage) managed to hobble his way through some of the slower dances. Even Master Berlingside had given in to temptation and joined in, leaving Obi-Wan feeling isolated and ruing the loss of his only ally. Quite what Leona would say when she found out that Dex been dancing around against her strict commands Obi-Wan didn't want to think, but he was certain she wasn't going to approve. No doubt there would be references to foolhardy, reckless Corellians?

The thought of reckless Corellians inevitably turned his thoughts to Jemmiah. Obi-Wan disliked being away from her for any length of time yet did not wish to stifle her or seem overly protective. He still had to prioritise his life and however important he knew Jemmiah to be his training had to take precedence, even though there were times he felt it should not.

This was one such occasion. Quite why Valorum had invited them Obi-Wan wasn't sure. They weren't here in an official capacity (at least if they were Qui-Gon had not said so) yet apart from a brief conversation with the man himself they had been more or less ignored. Too many guests to impress, Obi-Wan thought with a thin smile. The price of being popular was not having enough time to yourself. Valorum wasn't so much spreading himself thin as virtually non-existent, trying to please all the toadies and sycophants that circled and scrambled about him like dogs at a table begging for scraps.

//I hope Jemmy is getting some rest.// Obi-Wan's face became grim at the thought. //Why did I have to come here tonight? I am sure that if my master is superfluous then I am even more so. I know nobody except for Qui-Gon and Master Berlingside. I'd much rather be back at the temple?training or reading or just being with Jemmy.//

Obi-Wan reminded himself with considerable relief that at least Jemmiah was slowly recovering from her ordeal on Urior, even though it would be some time before she was entirely better. He regarded himself lucky to still have her alive. He also regarded himself as lucky to be with her?that business with Lauria had been rather nasty.

He'd never yet worked out what it was that had persuaded him to stray into Lauria's clutches. One thing was for certain - he wouldn't be doing it again in a hurry. Sometimes he felt frustrated at the way Jemmiah kept him at arms length or wouldn't confide in him. He wanted to help her but she never seemed to want his support. Why would she never speak to him? He knew he could be of assistance if only she would open up a little. It was so frustrating! Every now and again he began to wonder if she wanted to be near him at all.

Then there were other times when he thought about Simeon's words onboard the ill-fated Kaligari regarding his marrying Jemmy. At the time it had seemed to ridiculous - there were a thousand and one reasons not to even consider it, not least the council - yet Obi-Wan had began to wonder if marriage was maybe the way of getting Jemmiah to share her thoughts and feelings with him as well as her heart. He felt certain that if they ever did marry she would commit herself fully to him?but would she ever take that step?

Anyhow, that was a long way off if it ever happened. He was still a padawan and she was only seventeen years of age. Until he worked up the courage or found the right occasion to ask he would keep his hopes and fears to himself.

And not a Hutt in hell's chance he was telling Qui-Gon either!


"Not dancing?" A voice said in his ear.

Obi-Wan looked over his shoulder and to his amazement saw a girl in her late teens or early twenties standing behind him. Beautiful almond shaped eyes stared calmly back at him withou

 

Uppity-Up!

 

Derf Eriatsa? Got that one! Too funny!

So Obi-Wan is thinking about marriage, huh? He's right that Jemmiah could feel safe enough in a marriage to open up and confide in him--but will she take that step?

She certainly won't if she hears about Obi-Wan dancing with Miss Regnig Sregor, or whatever her name is, will she? And what will Qui-Gon have to say about all this? And Leona about Dex?

 

I have a bad feeling about this!

Obi if she is who I think she is RUN, don't walk, back to Jemmy's arms where you'll be safe! On second thought dance with her and break her toes! That'll make her run away!

Faboo Jem!!

 

As her eyelids began to prise themselves apart, sleep gluing them together at the corners like a rusted hinge on a wooden chest, Jemmiah managed to somehow swim against the darkened realms of the unconscious and struggle back into the land of the living. She groggily wondered why it was taking her such an effort to wake up like she usually did after falling asleep on the couch. Every time she made an effort to pull away from the warm fuzziness of slumber something tried to claw her back.

And each time she had let it happen.

//Not this time you don't.// she managed to roll slightly to her right, knocking over a glass bottle as she did so. Fortunately her crusted eyes managed to register that the bottle was empty and so there was no need to panic before Evla woke up and saw there was a mess. Blurred as her vision was Jemmiah could make out the gentle hiss of static that indicated the holo film had come to an end as she had slept.

//Didn't miss anything.// Jemmy thought through her fogged up mind, wondering exactly how much she had managed to drink?Sith, An-Paj would kill her dreadfully! Concentration seemed to be eluding her at every turn, making her wonder if this was infact not part of some bizarre dream.

"What time is it?" she wondered out loud, voice sounding slurred and strangely unlike her own. "I can't make out the chrono?damn!" her hands caught one of the glasses on the table that DID have wine still in it, sending it skittering off the edge and onto the floor. "Damn, a thousand times damn! Infact forget damn?this merits a Kriff!"

Jemmiah - eyes still half clogged with dried mucus - bent down onto the floor to retrieve the glass and looked around to see if there was anything she could use to mop up the wine that had no doubt soaked right into the pile of the carpet. She'd chided Evla at the time for getting a light colored carpet. How right she had been!

//If I don't get this stuff out right now there's going to be the most ghastly pink stain for all eternity!// Jemmy held a hand up against her head. //Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me???//

Fortunately the glass hadn't broken, it had just bounced, otherwise it might have woken up Evla as well. Jemmiah sneaked a quick look in the direction of her guardian and noticed with relief that she was still asleep.

//Good.// She thought in desperation. //Should give me some time to get this cleaned up a bit better.//

Shakily, Jemmiah headed off to the kitchen area to find a cloth to soak up the wine, hoping that she would manage to get rid of the worst of it before her guardian woke up. Funny, but no matter how hard she tried in situations like this Jemmiah always found herself acting like a frightened, naughty schoolgirl worried of being caught out and sent off to bed with a stern lecture and a swat to her backside. Most of all she didn't want Evla to feel ashamed of her. She'd once dropped ink all over the previous carpet as a child aged eleven. That hadn't gone down at all well.

//Where are the cloths?// Jemmy scanned the kitchen with her half-closed eyes, beginning to feel slightly panicky. //Didn't we get any? Awwww, Kriff, Kriff, Kriff, Kriff!//

There was only one thing for it. She'd have to ask Evla if there was anything she could use as a replacement cloth, and that meant a confession, which in turn meant waking her up?

"Evla." Jemmiah managed to croak, giving a small cough to try and clear her throat. "Evla, have we got anything to use as a cloth? I seem to have caused a bit of an accident."

She wasn't surprised when Evla never answered. The poor woman had been every bit as tired as she had been before they had drifted off to sleep. Jemmiah was inclined just to let her continue without disturbing her but she also knew that time was of the essence when dealing with a noticeable wine stain on the carpet. Evla would be sooooo annoyed if she just left it there untreated. She weighed up the pros and cons, finally deciding that her guardian would rather be awakened than have to deal with a ruined carpet.

//Sith!// Jemmiah walk

 

Oh!!! How Awful!!!!! (The situation, not the post!!) At least they had a nice evening together.

 

Oh, no! I had a sneaking suspicion that could happen, and now it has! *sniff* NOO!

 

*Sniffle... reaches for tissues...*

 

*sniff*

Where are my tissues?!

*fingers crossed that Evie's pulse gets stronger*

 

"Tell me," the low yet pleasantly sweet voice of Obi-Wan's dancing partner enquired as she guided him through the steps of a gavotte, "what do you do at the temple? I've never yet managed to form a clear picture in my mind how the jedi live. Do you like it there?"

"I've known nothing else." Obi-Wan answered. "It is what I was brought up with. Mostly we are a very serious and focused body of people. I believe you would find us very dull indeed."

"I don't believe that." She replied with a wry smile. "You don't seem dull."

Obi-Wan felt a smile tug at his lips.

"That's very kind of you. However I have my routine like everyone else in the temple. My life sometimes takes me away to different places but only when the council finds a task they think that my master and I would be suited to dealing with. The rest of my time is spent in preparation and training. Studying too."

"Studying?" The red head wrinkled her nose in distaste.

"Oh, yes. Padawans have to study. Just because we do not attend regular schools like other children on Coruscant doesn't mean we are deprived of lessons." His blue eyes flashed with delight. "You seem surprised."

"I suppose I am." She admitted. "As I say, I have no notion of what life is like at the temple. I didn't expect to find it so?"

"Uninteresting?" Kenobi laughed, trying not to go in the wrong direction.

"Normal." She returned the pleasant smile he bestowed on her.

"Oh, we are far from normal." Obi-Wan thought back on some of the escapades that had occurred in the last few years and even before that. "Occasionally something will happen to enliven proceedings."

The girl acknowledged the distant look in his eyes, realizing where his thoughts were at that moment.

"You're thinking of her, aren't you?" she grinned.

"Who?"

"You're partner. She must be special if she's got you worked up like that."

"Like what?" Obi-Wan blushed. "I?I don't understand. I'm not worked up."

"You're body is here dancing with me but I fancy that your mind is elsewhere right now." Her voice contained recognisable amusement. "Oh, don't worry. I'm not offended. And whenever you mind drifts away you seem to dance better. It's when you consciously think about it that your feet appear to rebel."

Obi-Wan looked down at his feet, marvelling at just how they seemed to move through the steps just like his partner had said. They somehow didn't feel like a part of him, as if the force was guiding him through the moves. Maybe he was getting the hang of it at last. Or perhaps it was because he was dancing with somebody who didn't tease his dancing prowess and openly encouraged him?

His face darkened at the thought. Just what was he admitting? That he'd rather spend time with a total stranger rather than a few hours in Jemmy's company? There was no question that he was enjoying himself here tonight - taking pleasure from dancing of all things! - which he felt was a small miracle in itself. The company had been charming and refreshingly honest, not afraid to hold court on any topic whatsoever.

His partner was extremely knowledgeable on nearly every subject he could think of, especially political matters and not just those pertaining to Coruscant. What he liked most was the open way she replied to his questions. It was the complete opposite of Jemmy, who was so secretive that it frequently made Obi-Wan want to scream.

His own girlfriend didn't trust him. She didn't even trust Qui-Gon. She probably confided things in Rela and Evla although quite how much he didn't know. Rela had always been as closed as a clam, telling him to mind his own business. Even when he insisted that it was his business she would simply inform him that a confidence was not something she would ever knowingly betray.

Technically Jemmiah was not only his girlfriend but also his wife, if Gurolian law was anything to go by. The number of arguments they had had punctuated by the cry of "I want a divorce!" could no longer be counted on one hand. What was it about red heads that excited him? Because in spite of al