Tomorrow Can Wait (JA) : New post 23rd Feb!

*Gulp!* ...sorry Leona.

 

Oh boy! Poor Jemmy. And Evla never told her. Perhaps that was better....

 

I'm going to have to vent a little here at Obi-Wan. Yes I know that he loves Jemmy and like Leona I'm afraid that he's going to start opening up to this new girl. But if he does love Jemmy so much why is he so insistant that she HAS to tell him everything. He's always questioning her about her past. Well Obi maybe if you just accepted Jemmy as she is she just might open up and tell you! Typical male!! You can't live with 'em and you can't shoot 'em!

Wonderful Jem!!

 

The sad thing about growing older, Qui-Gon reflected, was that you spent a lot more time thinking than doing. When the flesh grew past it's prime and tired itself out much more quickly than it used to events such as the one he was attending the is evening consisted of fifty percent activity and forty percent standing, exhausted in the corner. The other ten was spent trying to persuade everyone that you weren't exhausted at all and regarding the younger people as they enjoyed their time of fun and frolicking on the dance floor. But the really tragic thing - so Qui-Gon thought - was that it was by standing on the outskirts looking in that he realized what a total idiot he must have looked when he himself had been a young man?

At least going on the appearance of the other guests.

It was an unusual mix to say the least but the emphasis was definitely on youth. Valorum liked to surround himself with young, vibrant, clever people (notably female - but that was another story) and apart from the occasional obligatory presence of an elderly senator from some outer planet with more letters in its title than populated settlements the age range was definitely titling in the direction of the under forties. Qui-Gon didn't really feel that old and sometimes despite claims to the contrary found it difficult to comprehend the age he truly was. Yes, he mused silently as he watched a badly matched couple consisting of a female the size of a Wookie and a man the height of a Taalz trying to manoeuvre themselves into the middle of a circle of other dancing couples, Jemmiah would have fitted into a situation like this. It was a celebration of life and exuberance that left him miserable at the thought of the scene that would await him on his return to the temple.

Dex was a shining exception to the rule regarding age and beauty. He never would look out of place gracing a party. Without meaning to be spiteful in any way, there was still so much of the child in Dex that Qui-Gon wondered if the man hadn't found a way of preserving his youth forever.

His own back ached dreadfully, and having suffered bad backs on numerous occasions in the past Qui-Gon was always wary of aggravating the problem further. That was why for the last fifteen minutes he had been standing on the sidelines and watching Dex having a good time.

//But not too much of a good time.// Jinn smiled to himself as his friend birled past him on the arm of a buxom brunette. //Because if he does Leona will kill him as well as me!//

His padawan had been standing by the side now for the last couple of minutes. Qui-Gon hadn't managed to spot him amidst the large number of dancing couples until now, although Dex had managed to wink at him as he went past, whispering something about his boy dancing with an attractive redhead. Yet the girl was nowhere to be seen.

Qui-Gon decided that he would (temporarily) forgo the obligatory questioning and teasing of his padawan who - it had seemed - finally gave in to temptation and decided to enjoy himself a little. The master was glad about this. Obi-Wan needed some time to wind down and relax, and he didn't think that when Evla announced her terrible secret to Jemmiah that he was going to get much relaxation after that?

His thumbs pricked although he didn't know why exactly. He had no wish to try and intrude on what was happening back home although obviously his concern that evening centred around the two women who would have to face up to some very unpleasant and heartbreaking truths. No, even though he was desperate to know how things had gone he would resist the temptation to call back home to see.

There was the possibility that Evla had already contacted him to let him know how things had progressed if at all. Not wishing to shut her out when she most needed a friend to talk to Qui-Gon decided to return to the cloakroom and see if anyone had left a message for him on his com.

He nodded at Dex as the blonde master twirled elegantly round. To look at you would never have guessed the rigors and affects of the doomed Tild

 

Up

 

oh poor Jemmy.


Does Qui know the truth and just isn't telling or is she really still alive?

//crosses fingers



//crosses toes

 

Obi forget about that red-haired girl! Jemmy needs you to be there for her now!

*fingers crossed that Evla is still alive*

I guess I didn't realize that Obi didn't know the truth about Evla. But if he had I'm sure he would have told Jemmy and that's something Evla needs to do. And soon!!!

Wonderful Jem!!!

 

The return journey to the temple had been a virtually silent affair, each of the three men sat in the back of the air cab with their own thoughts. Dex had been remembering good times in the past where he had been roped into helping out with the initiates end-year parties. Evla had always been on hand to make sure that he didn't break anything or 'warp their minds with his Corellian sense of humor'. The woman was firm but fair and nobody could say a word against her. The children in the crèche adored Evla and he knew that they would be upset that she had become ill again. Maybe he could organize visits to see her in the infirmary? He was sure that Evla would appreciate that, especially as there was very little else he could do to help her.

Obi-Wan had felt guilt. His reaction upon hearing his master's words had been pure relief that it wasn't Jemmy in the infirmary and having spent so much time in there over the years he knew he should have shown much more respect for Evla's predicament than he had. Qui-Gon would almost certainly insist that Jemmy move back in with them until Evla was fit enough to be discharged which meant that he would have to get the spare room back into some kind of order and make up the fold away bed. Well, if Jemmy needed reassuring he would at least be on hand to offer her some comfort.

Qui-Gon realized that this had at last thrown wide open the whole situation Evla had been trying to cover up. There would be no hiding the truth from Jemmiah now. If Evla hadn't already told her then An-Paj or maybe even Gethin or Leona would inform her of the true nature of Evla's condition. In a way he felt relief that at last Jemmiah would know exactly where she stood, something he had begged Evla to do for some months now. Yet her sudden and unexpected relapse was disturbing to him, especially when An-Paj himself had said she was doing rather better than he had anticipated.

It had been an unhappy end to what had surprisingly been an enjoyable evening. Qui-Gon pushed all thoughts of reprimanding Jemmiah for the sticker on his back firmly away from his mind. She wouldn't need that right now. What she would need was support and Qui-Gon aimed to make sure she got it.

He didn't really recall getting out of the air cab at the landing platform nearest the temple main entrance although he had a vague recollection of Dex speaking to the driver. Even the trip down to the infirmary in the turbo lift was a vague sort of nothing, possibly because the silence that had grown between the three men continued unabated. Legs moved, hands operated and their bodies went through mechanical motions yet their minds and thoughts remained private and closely guarded.

When Qui-Gon did realize he was at the infirmary he wondered with a start how he had actually got there.

He looked about instinctively for Leona as he often did when he dared venture into An-Paj's lair, but for once the healers seemed conspicuous by their absence. Normally Qui-Gon thought it wasn't possible to take a few steps before one of them grabbed you by the sleeve of your robe and pulled you away, whether was something wrong with you or not.

"Jemmiah will be in one of the waiting rooms, master." Obi-Wan again grimaced at his own lack of consideration for Evla but if Qui-Gon or Dex had noticed they were saying nothing.

"I think we should look about for one of the healers." Dex answered, giving the reception room a cursory sweep with his eyes. "This place is so dead! I know it's not as busy at night as during the day but even so?ah, ha! There." He nodded in the direction of a rather haggard looking An-Paj as he stepped through the doors. Qui-Gon turned to face the healer who hesitated a moment, then stepped up to meet them.

"Qui-Gon." An-Paj nodded gravely. "You got back quicker than I expected."

"We left within minutes of getting your message." Jinn replied, An-Paj trying to herd both him and the two others away from the reception. "I thought that judging by the tone of your words it might be fairly serious this time."

"We can talk bet

 

Okay, I seriously have missed something. I knew Evla was sick from the way everyone was talking about her and all this, but how, what, and when? Is there a story I should have read? I'm only about 1/10 of the way through LTPOM.

 

Of course she's taking it well An-Paj! She's blaming herself! Jemmy still thinks she's a jinx and that's why Evla died! I just hope someone will keep an eye on her.

I do think that An-Paj is more or less right about Evla sending healing waves to Jemmy. I just hope she never finds out or she'll really blame herself.

As you can tell I'm going through the anger phase now, having already been in denial about Evie in my last reply. I'll get to bargining, depression, and acceptance later.

 

There's no clear one story that deals with Evla's illness I'm afraid, Darth_Ishtar. It is mentioned on and off from
Family Matters onwards, although The Lion Sleeps Tonight is the story that deals with it the most.

 

darn it all! I so hoped that she didn't really die


//sob

 

Sadness. Great, solemn sadness.

 

Dex stopped outside the doorway.

"Don't think I'm running out on you or anything," he said in a subdued voice, "but I'm not sure my presence is required here. I don't want to crowd matters or make it any more difficult than it is?"

"That's okay Dex, we understand." Qui-Gon nodded. "You go back to your apartment. Get some rest. If Leona finds out you were dancing this evening?"

"I know!" the affectionate smile came back. He looked in the direction of the unopened door. "Give her my best, would you?"

"I will." Qui-Gon agreed, bowing in return to Dex's formal nod to himself, An-Paj and Obi-Wan.

They watched his stiff back retreat down the corridor and then round the corner until he was out of site, leaving them still hovering reluctantly by the door.

"And if you will also excuse me," An-Paj took a few steps back, "I think this is a private matter. But if you need me I'll be in my little room, yonder."

"Thank you." Qui-Gon said gratefully.

"I just wish you had something to thank me for. I rate this as one of the most unpleasant days I have ever spent in this place." The healer sighed as he to turned to leave, shoulders slightly slumped. "Yet for every Evla we cannot cure we have five that we can. That's what keeps me going on bad days. I like to think that Evla would have approved of that too."

"I have no doubts that she would." Qui-Gon agreed wistfully.

He faced the door again, Obi-Wan silent beside him.

"I don't know what to say." The padawan admitted.

"That makes two of us." Qui-Gon took a deep breath. "I dare say the right words will come."

He put his hand on the panel and the door slid gently back. Inside the lighting was subdued, possibly more than he would prefer in normal circumstances, but remembering what An-Paj had said about the lighting in the place he was not inclined to demand a higher setting only to lose his vision by a meteor-strike glare.

He spotted Jemmiah half sitting/half lying on a nearby couch and suddenly found his nerve threatening to give way.

"I think she's asleep, master." Obi-Wan whispered.

"She's dozing." Qui-Gon agreed, reluctant to disturb her but knowing that he had to. "Come on. We'll see if she wants to return with us."

Obi-Wan felt equally at a loss for words. He hadn't the slightest idea what use he could be to Jemmiah now that the unthinkable had actually happened and was mighty glad when Qui-Gon had taken the lead in this matter. Somehow Obi-Wan was sure his master would find the right words to say whilst he no doubt would flounder about like a fish out of water. He found himself hanging back for fear of crowding his lightly sleeping girlfriend, waiting to see what Qui-Gon would do.

"Tangles?" Qui-Gon placed a hand upon her upturned shoulder and very, very gently shook her. At the same time he casually tried to get a feel for her state of mind, touching her emotions with the force, but not managing to pick up on much at all. "Tangles, it's time to wake up now. Come on?that's the way."

Jemmiah stirred slightly but seemed to be somewhat confused by her surroundings. Obi-Wan felt that it was almost like watching a holofilm as he stood back and let his master take charge, dreading the moment of realization that Jemmiah would no doubt experience when she fully awakened. Sleeping would only give temporary respite from grief and as she began to shake off sleep no doubt the hurt would return to cause more pain.

Obi-Wan had no idea how he knew it was so, but he felt certain the antiseptic smell of the whole infirmary was the trigger which reminded Jemmiah of where she was even before her eyes were fully open. He wasn't sure if he expected tantrums or tears from her as the memories began to flood back - but the one thing he didn't expect was what he got.

"Tangles?" Qui-Gon tried to look into her eyes. "Do you remember where you are?"

"The Infirmary." She replied with a small yawn. "When did you come back? I don't remember?"

"Not long." The master replied hesitantly. "A matter of ten minutes or so."

"Oh." Jemmy stiffly trie

 

UP!

 

Well, now, what the heck is up with Jemmy? Everyone's distraught except her. More, please?

 

Jemmy you are just making things worse by keeping it bottled up inside! Do something! Don't pretend that nothing happened! It doesn't help anyone and makes people treat you differently! You don't have to cry, get angry! Throw something. Beat the living hell out of Obi! Anything just to prove to everyone and yourself that YOU are still alive!

Fabulous Jem!!!

 

Qui-Gon had waited some twenty minutes or so before he had finally been directed towards the room where Evla's body rested. He could understand Jemmiah's difficulty in letting go. Even now, as he crossed over to the table where she had been lain he was finding it hard to think of his friend in past tense. He'd known her for so many years that the idea of her not being there any longer left him somewhat bewildered.

The face he saw as he looked down upon her was not what he had expected. She seemed neither to be peacefully resting as if sleeping, like so many people said of deceased relatives and friends, or showing the signs of wear and exhaustion as the result of a long and relentless battle with the illness that had claimed her life. The impression Qui-Gon found himself with was that of an expression denoting relief. It seemed to say 'my task is done', quietly satisfied. Whether the corners of her mouth turned up slightly in a smile or whether it was his own imagination he didn't know, but it was a comforting thought none the less.

He didn't know if he would feel moved to tears before he had entered the room but he was relieved now he was here that they did not fall, not because it was in any way emasculating but rather that he knew the force had told him to accept she had simply moved on. How many times had he chanted 'There is no death, there is the force' during his lifetime? It was only occasions such as these that brought home the truth of those otherwise hollow sounding words.

Looking at Evla, he knew there was no death.

"It was an honour to know you." He said simply as he placed a kiss on her cheek. "Force keep you Evie."

He gave her a final respectful bow and turned slowly to walk away.

************

Leona caught up with him outside the room where she had been hovering cautiously, not wanting to intrude on such a personal moment. He had sensed her waiting there and composed himself so that by the time he had closed the door behind him his own face was a closed as Jemmiah's had been. His own grief had, like Evla's spirit, been released to the force. Now there was only gratitude and good memories left. The hurt was gone.

"Qui-Gon." Leona reached out a hand and hooked it through his own arm, wondering how ridiculous the height difference between them looked to anyone who cared to glance their way. "An-Paj said I could find you here."

"He told you correctly." He nodded, suddenly feeling incredible tired. "I felt the need for closure. I had to say goodbye."

"I did the same." Admitted Leona. "Although I don't know how successful I have been in coming to terms with this. I will miss Evla very much. She was a good friend, especially latterly. All the healers are used to this sort of thing, we've all seen and experienced it before on a regular basis but somehow when it's someone you know it becomes difficult to detach yourself from it all and stand back. I think we didn't expect it to happen so suddenly."

"Nobody who knew did." Qui-Gon continued to walk in his aptly funereal pace, although it had more to do with matching his speed with that of the short stride of Leona than anything else. "And there are those who didn't expect it to happen at all who no doubt can't begin to understand what has happened."

"Jemmiah?" guessed Leona, disappointment contorting her face. "But Evla said she would tell her! I made her promise?"

"She was planning on telling her this evening." Qui-Gon answered solemnly. "She just never got the chance."

"That's a horrible thing to have to go through." Leona felt deeply for the Corellian girl. "You should have seen the look on her face when she called the infirmary. She was just completely stunned."

Qui-Gon stopped for a moment and enveloped Leona in a bear hug that the healer feared might smother her completely.

"I hope you don't mind, but I have to get back and check on her. I sent her back with Obi-Wan and I hate to think how he is managing on his own. He seemed at a loss for what to do and say."

"Understandable." Agreed Leona. "My own padawan ha

 

Just giving this a boost

 

poor Jemmy!

 

I'm glad to see that at least Qui-Gon got some closure on Evla's death. Now I just hope that he'll keep a close eye on Jemmiah. I've got a feeling that she may snap.

I have to agree with Leona Jem. You capture the emotions so well that I find myself sniffling half way through your post. Wonderful!!!