Before Tomorrow Can Wait - *New Post* 20th Nov: FINISHED AT LAST!!!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jemmiah, Jul 27, 2004.

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  1. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Poor Rela... had to find it out from Obi.

    Yep something is def up with Jemmy. Poor girl...

    Hopefully Obi will find her!

    Great chappie!
  2. mouse2 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 4
    Jemmy's not talking and Obi's doing that over protectiveness thing again. I'm not sure which is worse, but I do know I don't like the fact that Obi thinks Jemmy was drinking. That has 'huge misunderstanding' written all over it!

    Fabulous posty Jem!
  3. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    I can't believe she didn't even tell Rela that Evla had died. Four hours together and Jemmiah couldn't bring herself to tell her best friend. And still as Ish says Rela's the voice of reason, thinking for Jem's best with good advice.
  4. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    ::Tosses red hair.:: We reds are always the voice of reason, doncha know. :)
  5. Miana Kenobi Costuming & Props Mod - Retired Admin

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 8
    Aw, poor Obi. :(

    Beautifully written, Jem!
  6. mouse2 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 4
  7. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
  8. Jemmiah Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2000
    star 5
    Something had told Obi-Wan that Jemmiah had returned to the temple again, although it was more to do with logic than any subtle prompting of the force. She'd left only as a means of escape for a short amount of time and having satisfied the urge to sit quietly with Rela and talk about normal things, everyday occurrences that had little or nothing to do with funerals or death, she had slipped back to her home unnoticed the same way as she had left it that morning.

    He hoped that her little jaunt away from the jedi would have helped her clear her head in preparation for the funeral that would come all too quickly. Rela was right of course; it would not be easy. Funerals never were. Burning the physical body was never a pleasant business and even the constant recollecting that this was indeed an empty shell, a husk and nothing more, would cause considerable upset to the mourners who had taken Evla to their hearts. It wasn't Obi-Wan's first funeral and sadly he doubted very much that it would be the last either.

    It signified an end. With the cremation, the rendering of the flesh by red flame and smoking ash, there was simply nothing left to mourn. There was no choice but to move on.

    He doubted very much that Jemmiah was ready for it. Her constant brushing aside of the past told him that this brutal reminder of mortality was not what she needed to see, infact he was surprised that Qui-Gon had been so insistent. Not for the first time Obi-Wan found himself disagreeing with his master even though he knew the sentiments were well meant.

    //She knows that Evla is gone, but how can she appreciate the impact it will have on her life right now? It won't hit her until later. If Qui-Gon were to die I should feel utterly bereft?and maybe angry too at being left behind. She must wonder why fate has been so unkind to her.//

    It made him all the more determined to look after her: if she would allow it. And that was a mighty big if because Jemmiah could be fiercely independent if she wanted. Finding a balance was going to be difficult in this situation given Rela's warning to stand back slightly yet be supportive. How did he do that? Stand by and offer to be a wooden if obliging shoulder to cry on? It was so difficult not to get involved...

    He'd have to be careful of what he said, that much was certain. Not just because he knew that on rare occasions he lacked tact and subtlety but because she would be feeling terribly raw and upset right now. What should he say? He had no more of an idea than he had last night! She had done all the chattering on the way back to the apartment and in a way he was relieved, yet at the same time listening to her carry on as if nothing at all had happened had been an extremely painful experience.

    He toyed with the idea of getting her flowers but then again he knew that was hardly much of a recompense for losing her 'mother'. In the end he decided she would have to make do with his own presence and hoped somehow that would be enough.

    After his master's tale of ringing the doorbell for what seemed like eternity he half expected to be subject to the same treatment and was therefor surprised that the door to Jemmiah's apartment slide back almost instantly the moment he first depressed the chime. The face that met him looked small and pinched, almost waif like and once again he was given a stark reminder of exactly how the Kaligari affair had altered her?

    "I thought you'd be here." She mumbled without much enthusiasm. "I was expecting you. Come on in."

    "Thanks." Obi-Wan replied, forcing a thin smile, subconsciously smoothing back his short trimmed padawan cut with a single hand.

    He cautiously stepped into the living area and looked about him, not sure what he was expecting to see. Perhaps some small amount of debris or something that might give away the mayhem and misery of the night before, but there was nothing except for a few empty bottles of wine and an empty box of chocolates lying on the nearby table. Obi-Wan saw them and immediately felt himself straighten with concern.

    "Ha
  9. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    This sounds cheesy, but oh, thank the force. She went to the diary.
  10. Miana Kenobi Costuming & Props Mod - Retired Admin

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 8
    AWWW...

    Poor Obi. I feel bad for him, since he is just trying to help, but I totally understand where Jemmy is coming from too.

    Excellent job, Jem.
  11. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    It signified an end. With the cremation, the rendering of the flesh by red flame and smoking ash, there was simply nothing left to mourn. There was no choice but to move on. -- a sad but very correct observation. :( "I've got nothing left." She remarked, fidgeting with her fingers. "Nothing that matters." I know she wallowing in pain, but this doesn't hurt Obi-Wan any less for it.
    At the least diary is giving her reason to look for hope.

    So very tragic Jemmiah.
  12. mouse2 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 4
    He doubted very much that Jemmiah was ready for it. Now that's the dang truth!! At least Obi's thinking somewhat clearly. That is until he and Jemmy have a conversation... :p

    Thank goodness for her diary, but I can't help tha maybe if she didn't have it she wouldn't be shutting everyone out so much. Maybe she'd open the door at least a crack so they could see where she was coming from.

    I really don't like the fact that she can't remember if she took her medicine or not. That can't be a good thing.

    Faboo post Jem!
  13. VadersMistress Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2004
    star 6
    I am slowly making my way through your stories. I told you it takes a while. :)

    Great job, really. Jemmiah and Obi are so wonderfully done. I love the way you have put this story together. :D :D =D=
  14. mouse2 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 4
    Utinni!

    That's Jawa speak for more! :D
  15. Jemmiah Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2000
    star 5
    Awwww...thanks for all your replies guys! You're all wonderful! *hugs* :) :)

    *******


    "Padawan?"

    Obi-Wan 's face was a perfect picture of brooding, misery - like a sculpture carved out of stone. Just one look at him told Qui-Gon where his apprentice's thoughts were dwelling at that moment. Nobody liked funerals but today was going to be particularly trying, no doubt for Jemmiah most of all. Possibly Obi-Wan was trying to think ahead, wondering exactly what kind of mood she would be in. Would she let him comfort her if she needed it? Would she cry? Would she just cut off everything that was going on around her just as she normally did?

    //When the funeral is over I will invite her back with us. I feel that it's important to re-establish my identity and my bond with Jemmiah as her guardian.// Qui-Gon considered silently. //I know Evla would expect nothing less of me and I intend to do what is right.//

    "I'm alright, master." Obi-Wan replied eventually, tracing a pattern in his breakfast bowl with his spoon. "I apologize for seeming distant. I'm just having some difficulty in being cheerful this morning."

    "Understandable." Qui-Gon opined. "I didn't have the best of nights myself. Sometimes you cannot help but lie awake and think of things that you wish would not plague you. In the end," Qui-Gon admitted after a surprised Obi-Wan fixed him with a curious look, "I came to the conclusion that there is little that any of us could have done to change what has happened. Brooding will not alter the fact. Evla is past our help now and we have to continue. It's the only way."

    "Yes, master." Agreed Obi-Wan. "I was thinking much the same."

    "Indeed." Qui-Gon smiled. "Maybe we have even more in common than we thought. "

    "We have Jemmy in common." Obi-Wan's face cracked into a smile.

    "That too."

    "If only we could find some way to make her feel better about everything?" Obi-Wan sighed, idly raising his spoon to eye level and placing his finger on the rounded end. "I know that it's something that only Jemmy can get over. When I think of all that has happened I keep wondering what will occur next."

    "What do you mean?" enquired the master, puzzled. "Explain?"

    "It seems like she's been subjected to a constant run of bad luck, right from the time when we went to the zoo up until Evla died. Any one of the things she's had to face could have broken someone. Jemmy's had to cope with them one after the other?"

    "That's very often just the nature of things." Qui-Gon reached back to adjust the bands that tied his hair. Strangely, every time he did so now he thought of Jemmiah. Every time he trimmed his beard, tidying it up, he remembered the humiliation of Jemmiah's dare during the cantina crawl. "It's also the nature of Jemmiah. The reason she feels able to cope with these things that befall her is because invariably something worse will come along to surmount the previous hurt. I sometimes think she lives to hurt herself. It as if she feels she must suffer."

    "That's ridiculous, master." Obi-Wan's frown became glacially cold. "Why would she want to suffer?"

    "For being alive?"

    Obi-Wan listened to his master's opinions but dismissed them after a brief moment's consideration. Jemmy often told him how much she longed for the day when she would be free of the plague of wraiths that had beset her this past half year. Besides, she couldn't be out to make trouble for herself: for example, how could she be responsible for Evla's death? If Evla truly had been trying to heal Jemmy that choice had belonged to the crèche master and not her daughter. There was no blame there to attach to Jemmiah at all.

    "I respect your opinions master, even though I don't always agree with them." Obi-Wan nodded deferentially. "And I'm sure that however troubled today may get that we can come through it?" he flicked his spoon accidentally in an oblique angle, so that a huge globule of porridge winged its way straight across the table and landed in a diagonal line across Qui-Gon's brow.

    Obi-Wan's mouth hung wide open.

    "I b
  16. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Heheheheh this still cracks me up having Valorum a 'lady's man' *snrk* hehehehe

    Great chappie! :D So the Chancellor sent her flowers. *Snrk* guy can only try so hard ;) At least they figured it out. I figured it was him as soon as F.V. showed up ;)

    Loved it!
  17. mouse2 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 4
    ...Qui-Gon's bad feeling continued to build.

    Good! I hope it keeps getting bigger and bigger! Obi you let your guard down too soon. I'd still be worried or at least uneasy about it if I were you.

    BTW, good aim! :D :D

    Wonderful post Jem!!
  18. Cookietribble Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2004
    Good post!! :D
    Yeah, I`ve been reading this before but didn`t have enough time to reply, sorry! Just wanted to let you know I`ve kept up with this story and still just love it!! [face_love]

    Loved the description of Obi-Wan`s reaction to the arrival of those flowers! That was so typical!! :D

    Wonder how the funeral`s gonna go...

    ~Cookietribble

  19. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Heehee, valorum sent her a megabouquet! Thom was funny! Nice cameo.
  20. Calamity Jinn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2000
    star 4
    Still here sis, just lurking!

    I feel sorry for Jemmiah... she shouldn't be pushed into attending the funeral if she's not ready to deal with it. she's right, they've forgotten they've got the Force and she hasn't.

    More!
  21. Miana Kenobi Costuming & Props Mod - Retired Admin

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 8
    I still can't picture Valroum as a ladies man. To disturbing to think about.

    Wonderful bit, Jem!
  22. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Okay, I find myself laughing in the middle of a serious conversation.. Obi you are one silly young man. And again I laugh as Thom notes something on Qui-Gon's head. Yes, here's one place a bad feeling would be appropriate.
  23. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    ::Sniffles.:: Pwease post!
  24. Jemmiah Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2000
    star 5
    Jemmiah stood before the mirror once again, holding out the small black dress.

    It was no good: she couldn't put it on. Every time she thought about slipping it on over her head something inside her went completely cold, as if someone were trying to get her to change her mind. Of course Jemmy knew that was ludicrous - it was quite clearly her subconscious playing tricks on her because deep down she detested the notion of having to wear such a baby outfit. Inside, Jemmy groaned. If she couldn't face getting dressed then she wasn't ready to face up to the prospect of a funeral, or watching her beloved Evla smouldering on an open funeral pyre?

    If she wore something else then maybe she might feel more comfortable about standing there beside Ben and Master Jinn?the only problem being that she had nothing else that was fitting for the occasion. She'd been through her wardrobe ten times the night before and ten times since getting up in the morning, even though she knew that nothing suitable was going to astonishingly materialise before her eyes. There was her favourite red dress that she had managed to take in a little to accommodate her less shapely frame - the one that Ben seemed to like her so much in - but if she turned up to a funeral wearing that then she would most likely come in for considerable censure, not least from Qui-Gon. And on a day such as this, that was something she could well do without.

    Jemmiah tossed the offending garment to one side, letting it join the massive heap of discarded outfits and shoes that lay piled up on the floor of her bedroom. Normally she was reasonably tidy but she didn't suppose that it mattered very much what she did, not when there was so much buzzing round her head at that moment. So much to think of?so much to do and organise?.

    Wouldn't there have to be some kind of remembrance party? Wasn't she the one who would have to arrange it all? And did she really want to invite the world and his wife back to Evla's - to her - apartment? It wasn't as spotless as it could have been. Things would need to be bought in. Who did she invite? How the hell was she supposed to know what to do? On Nargotria, if someone died that you were close to, you mourned them in private and never let on to anyone how you really felt inside. Jemmiah much preferred it that way, too.

    The notion to throw away the black outfit came back, only this time it urged her to venture next door, into Evla's own room. Perhaps there would be something in there that she could wear? Maybe an old robe or such like?at least that way she wouldn't stick out like a brightly colored Florizan Flamingo. Besides which, the idea of wearing something that had once been Evla's held a certain amount of appeal: it would be another way of honouring the woman who in many ways had become like her own mother.

    Crèche masters generally speaking wore two colours of robes, blue and green, in various shades between. Evla favoured green; like Qui-Gon it had been her favourite colour. Thinking of the two of them, so different yet similar in many ways managed to bring a faint smile to Jemmiah's lips. What was it that had attracted them to each other, she wondered? So many times since finding out that they had briefly been in a relationship Jemmiah had wanted to ask Evla that exact question, but always her courage had failed her at the last moment. Now she would never know the truth, unless she were to put it to Qui-Gon, and frankly having an in-depth conversation about his personal life struck her as a scary thought! Whilst honest, Qui-Gon was above all gentlemanly and a Jedi to boot. His thoughts and memories were private, just as Jemmiah's were. If she couldn't admit her own chequered past then why should he?

    "Evie, I'm such a mess." Jemmiah let her arms slump despondently by her side. "I want to do what is right and I want to make you proud of me this one last time?but I'm scared! I'll embarrass myself infront of everyone I know, for certain! I'll break down and cry like a baby and then everyone will think I am mad, because the ha
  25. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    sigh

    Poor Jemmiah, her minds still running all over things, and not that it's in any way incorrect. I wotrry more that not crying for her will be viewed as being cold.
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