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Mary Top 10 Post Episode II Headlines

Discussion in 'NorthEast Regional Discussion' started by DRK_HLMT, May 20, 2002.

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  1. DRK_HLMT

    DRK_HLMT Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 7, 2001
    Don't know if you guys saw this or not but I was perusing through the humor section (some pretty funny stuff in there) and saw this one and just busted out laughing at #7! Had to explain to my boss why I was laughing so hard. :D

    Top 10 Post-Episode II Headlines

    10) Jedi library found to have only map of galaxy.
    9) 800 year old Jedi Master finds centrifugal cure for arthritis.
    8) Bounty Hunter's single parent pension cancelled.
    7) Clone's ongoing search for trooper he was talking to yesterday.
    6) Trade Federation launches swap-a-head droid line.
    5) Death-stick seller starts foundation for homeless children.
    4) 8 year old padawan outsmarts Jedi librarian.
    3) Coruscant's hot new sport: Traffic Diving.
    2) Russell Crowe found dead in Reek autopsy.
    1) Jedi Padawan gives right arm to get Naboo Senator into bed.
     
  2. Mogook

    Mogook Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 14, 2001
    [face_laugh] Those are great!

    Let's try to think up some of our own.

     
  3. mon-mothma

    mon-mothma Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 7, 2002
    OK, here's some in the style of The Onion:

    Bear Clan caught mimicking Master Yoda behind back say "We were only kidding." Ringleaders assigned to Jedi sensitivity training film called "The Lowly Padawan."


    Stylesetter Senator Padme Amidala begins new "Refugee Look" craze upon return to Naboo.


    Beru Whitesun, living in sin on Tatooine, busted by Episode II. "Thanks alot. My parents thought I was living with a girlfriend!"


    One million identical clone troopers take "My Father, Myself" to dizzying new heights. Counsellors said to be standing by. "We're here if they need us."


    Trying to impress would-be girlfriend, Padme, Padawan learner Anakin Skywalker sneers at Jedi Master Kenobi: "You're not the boss of me." Awkward silence follows.


    Padme Amidala uses boyfriend's lightsabre to open jar of mayonnaise. "It was really stuck."
     
  4. Mogook

    Mogook Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 14, 2001
    Here's one that could appear in a more adult publication:

    After right-handed Anakin Skywalker loses his right hand he confesses, "I need Padme more than ever now." ;)
     
  5. DRK_HLMT

    DRK_HLMT Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 7, 2001
    Nexu looking at the want ads:

    Wanted: Big, ugly beast to take on beautiful young lady and possibly have for lunch. Must be into getting whipped by a chain. Contact Poggle the Lesser for more info.

     
  6. Mogook

    Mogook Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 14, 2001
    Jabba looks at the same want ad, but calls too late as the position had already been filled. [face_laugh]
     
  7. MuttandSolo

    MuttandSolo Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 1, 2002
    Padawan Anakin Skywalker discovers mother kidnapped by Sand People. HEADS ARE GONNA ROLL!
     
  8. MuttandSolo

    MuttandSolo Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 1, 2002
    Headless Tusken Raider expresses remorse for Headless Horseman! "I now know how that guy felt"!
     
  9. DRK_HLMT

    DRK_HLMT Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 7, 2001
    Reek Rancher Searching for Lost Reek.

    A Reek Rancher lost his prize Reek yesterday. The Rancher was quoted saying, "I don't know what happened to Bessie. I sure hope we find her soon. She was my prize Reek and she's worth 500,000 credits!! :_|"

    Our hopes and prayers go out to the rancher in his search for the lost Reek.

    In other news, the Geonosians plan on having one heck of an Arena battle tomorrow. The battle will take place in the Geonosian Plaza Arena and will feature some exotic animals that the Geonosians acquired just for this special event! The hapless victims of these creatures are rumored to be Jedi! Everyone is invited to come and watch this spectacular event and I'm sure it will be a doozy!! I'm inviting this poor Reek Rancher along. Maybe it will pick up his spirits a little. John, back to you...

     
  10. Ara-Gorn_Sirrah

    Ara-Gorn_Sirrah Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2002
    Someone else also saw this connection (see TFN Humor section), but here goes:

    Men In Black Baby's Roots Linked To Jedi Knight!
     
  11. orangerful

    orangerful Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Apr 29, 2002
    (My friend had this in his instant messenger info this week

    In today's News...DNA testing has finally proven the long held theory that Yoda is in fact, the father of Kermit the Frog. Corsucant officials have mandated that the Jedi Master will be forced to pay 18 years back-owed child support.
    "Frog Not Am I," The tiny green creature was recorded as fuming, "Great warrior I am!"
    Kermit's mother, Lambchop, has since retorted, "Yeah right, we've all seen Episode II...Leaping around like a frog on a BBQ!"
    Kermit, a popular news anchor and star of television and screen is unconcerned about any monetary sum. "I just hope that some day my father will accept me. Family is what's most important, especially for minorities such as us. It's not easy being green."
     
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