Saga Tour de Force - Chap. 5 "Iolana's Innocence" (Humor) *New Post!!*

Mom - LOL!! Too true.

 

Started the next post in calculus. 1 or 2 more hour long lectures might just finish it.

 

*snort*

For some reason, the one getting bumped down the shaft is my favourite!

 

LOL. I'm contemplating putting off homework and writing up the next chapter, which is burning the back of my brain out right now.

 

Sorry about the wait!

In this chapter, a Mary Sue gets ClOwned.

(And this one is "sadder," but that's my sick humor. )

~~~~~~

Chapter 5:
Iolana's Innocence

Palpatine was annoyed. Anakin was thus far beating every Sue that he threw at him. Even as he poured over his cards, Palpating noted with irritation that Skywalker was goofing off across from him. He sat back with his feet upon the table, floating several board pieces from another game in the air.

Think, man, think! he yelled at himself. He had to find a Sue that in no ways could possibly die. There had to be one in existence. Had to.

In his hand, the faces of five women looked back at him. All of them were Jedi; pretty, unbelievably young, and all wielding unnatural lightsaber colors. He scanned over their present locations: Naboo, Dagobah, Coruscant, Endor... Endor! What was there on Endor? Nothing!

Palpatine let only the smallest of smiles crawl onto his lips. He raises a sly eye to Anakin; the young man grinned as he pulled his feet off the table and sat up. "Are you ready, then?"

"Oh yes," Palpatine said with confidence in his voice. He placed the card of a young red haired woman on the table with a smile. With a planet full of fuzzy bears, there was no way that this Jedi could die. "I'm ready."

******

Iolana pulled her knees closer to her chest as she watched the sun rise over the moon of Endor. It was such a peaceful planet; there were no natural predators, no civilizations of any kind... just the natives and the trees.

The tree branch beneath her was hard, yet it proved a comfortable place to rest and meditate. She had always loved the trees; they reminded her so much of her childhood. Her parents had been merchants. Their ship crashed on Kashyyyk and only Iolana survived thanks to the Wookies. She had grown up learning how to respect nature and to be at peace with the plants.

Thus, as a young Jedi Knight, she had volunteered the lead the campaign on Endor to be rid of the separatist forces present. They had begun a carbon producing factory on the moon; cutting down the forests for timber and resources. This she could simply not allow.

After spending several months on the planet with just her small battalion of clones, they were slowly but surly picking away at the Separatist forces. She could have killed them off with one swipe of her saber; yet the Force told her not to.

"General Tivona," a voice called to her. She recognized that as her head clone; Commander Rida. She unfolded herself from her current sitting position, then leapt from the tree. She somersaulted through the air and landed before the general with ease.

The clone did not even flinch; he was used to this sort of behavior from the General. He held his dark purple painted helmet below his arm; there was never any danger on the planet, so he hardly wore it when they were stationary.

"What is it, Commander?" Iolana asked.

"We've just received word from our scouts that a group of Separatist droids are making their way towards one of the Ewok villages. Chief Snaka asks requests aid."

Something to do! "Assemble the troops," Iolana commanded.

Rida placed his helmet on his head and saluted. "Yes Ma'am." He turned on his heel and strode off to collect the troops.

The Ewoks were in danger! Iolana's mind raced; she hoped they could get there in time. Chief Snaka had welcomed them into their tribe, blessed them, and even named Iolana as part of the tribe. With her background on Kashyyyk, she could understand the tiny creatures as if they were merely speaking a broken form of Wookese.

She began to go through her stretches and saber routines to prepare herself. It would not do to get a cramp during fighting. After stretching for a good ten minutes and practicing her saber stances and movements for another ten, Iolana headed toward her troops.

Ride was waiting for her, all of the clones assembled and ready to go. "Lead the way, General," h

 

Honestly, you'd figure someone was online at 3 am!

 

::cackles gleefully::

Ok, I was expecting the fuzzies to fry, or eat her, or something, but this was a good twist!

 

ROFLOL!!

OMG!! Is it wrong that I was glad Palpatine gave Order 66? Foiled by his own actions!

 

Amidolee: *Huggles my Ewoks* They're too cute and cuddly to do anything like that!

Mouse: Hehehe, thanks. That was indeed why I did it. Sad that she had to die in Order 66... but not really.

 

lol!!! Palpy is so good at creating Sues! Lolana was awesome, I wept a million tears at her death.

LOVED His own order killing her, and Anakin holding back laughter!

HOpe Palpy doesn't slip on a bar of soap on his way to the bathroom.