Traffic Stop (fiction)

The calm and peaceful night of typically monotonous guard duty at the Theed palace is torn asunder by a loud grinding crash and the sound of rending plasteel and fiberplast, followed by the shrieks and yowls of a Wookiee cursing. Two troopers on guard near the Palace hop on to their sleek speeder bikes and rush over to see what the commotion is.

Imperial Stormtrooper TK4499 flying around the corner of the building arrives first on the scene, his white armor gleaming faintly in the starlight. He takes in the sight of a very large Wookiee wearing a chef's hat at an odd angle who is repeatedly stomping up and down on a dented and damaged speeder. It appears, to him at least, that someone had tried to insert the vehicle at high speed into the side of the building. Another Trooper arrives on his bike, his partner, TK3346, also in gleaming white armor. The partner easily and slickly dismounts. Taking in the tableau in front of him shakes his head in sadness as a wrapper from "Yub Yub Subs" falls out of the speeder and tumbles away on the cool breeze.

TK3346: Looks like another 4599. Man, I Wish they would close the cantina earlier or at least cut people off sooner. I hate big, loud drunks, e-special-ly aliens.

TK4499: Yeah.

The Wookiee ceases stomping on his speeder. He jumps off and , not noticing the troopers, he rips the dented and broken door off of the speeder and tosses it aside. He next squeezes inside the dented cabin and tries to reverse the engine, the motor whining with a high pitched roar. Loose gravel and dust sprays about, but the speeder stays firmly put. TK3346 consults his datapad which says the speeder is registered to a "Woosh", a well known Wookiee master chef and wealthy small time landowner. The trooper saunters over to the driver side of the speeder and opens up a dialogue with the angry Wookiee, who is now howling at the malfunctioning speeder and banging angrily on the food wrapper littered instrument panel with his hairy fists.

TK3346: Ok, er, Sir, I need to see some ID

WOOSH: ((Howls something in Shyriiwook))

TK3366: Er, yah, I can see you don't have any pockets, but you got to have ID somewhere

The Wookiee screeches something angry in Shyriiwook and tosses out an identcard with the name of ?Woosh? on it and a picture. TK3366 bends over and picks it up. He looks at it, shrugs, then passes the ID to the other trooper who holds up the ID and looks at the Wookiee, then back at the ID, then again at the Wookiee and again at the ID. He also shrugs.

TK4499: Man, they all look the same to me, but I think it?s him, which would make this his speeder.

TK3366 turns back to the Wookiee who is idly slapping at the throttle control, like a cat batting at a toy, it vibrates with a "thrummmmmm" sound.

TK3366: Okay, Mr. Woosh, I need you to step out of the speeder for me please. So how fast did you think you were going when you hit the Palace?

WOOSH: ((A lot of something in Shyriiwook, accompanied by lots of arm waving and gesturing.))

TK3366: Right, you didn't see it. Look, man, er, Wook, it's a palace, it?s REALLY, REALLY BIG, like a planet. How did you miss that?

WOOSH: ((Something confused sounding in Shyriiwook ))

TK3366: Okay, sure, ah ha. Alright, can you step out of the speeder?

The Wookiee steps ominously out of the speeder, rising to his full height, he seems to sway ponderously in the light wind. The troopers now much closer to the Wookiee gaze up at his towering presence.

TK4499: ((Gasps)) Oh, man, he?s huge?and whew?. ((waves his hand to waft away a strong smell))

TK3366 (Gags and coughs) What the heck have you been drinking?

WOOSH: ((A lot of something like excuses with shrugging and snorts in Shyriiwook.))

TK3366: Uh, huh. Just two. Suuuure. Okay, now, hands against the speeder, spread em'

The Wookiee leans onto the speeder, the speeder chassis seems to groan from his weight. The trooper begins to search the Wookiee, following standard procedure he pats down the suspect. The trooper turns his head and coughs