main
side
curve
  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga Train the Boy - Obi-Wan and Anakin, shortly after TPM

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Calantha, Mar 21, 2003.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Calantha

    Calantha Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Oct 25, 2002
    Train the Boy

    A vignette about Obi-Wan and Anakin, shortly after the events of TPM.

    This is my first time posting on the boards, just a one post vignette. I found writing Star Wars fanfic very enjoyable, so I suspect I'll be writing more stories in the future. Read on to discover if this is a good thing or not!
    _______________________________

    Obi-Wan could not sleep.

    He had stared at the shadows on his wall for hours, possibly the entire night. At some point, he had lost track of the time. Frustration was setting in - his mind was rambling and racing. Too much to think about when he needed to sleep.

    One week ago, he had been a senior Padawan, with all the standard worries and responsibilities of his peers. That was his role, he had understood that. Certainly, he had been on the verge of mastering the role of apprentice.

    Barely one day later, his Master was dead. Killed by a hellish creature that Obi-Wan had thought to only exist in ancient history and overactive imaginations. He had faced the sith himself - barely escaping his master?s fate. Before he knew it, he was no longer a student.

    ?Train the boy?

    The three words rang through his head incessantly. The last words of his master, whom he loved dearly. What was he supposed to say? I?m not ready - I don?t understand this job - I simply cannot -

    ?Yes Master.?

    Those words came naturally. It was all he could do to comfort and honour his master in those last moments. With his fallen mentor still in his arms, Obi-Wan?s mind had barely grasped the promise he had given. In those few moments afterwards, Obi-Wan did something he had not done since he was a little boy. He wept.

    Tossing between dream, consciousness and memory, he seemed to still be able to hear the quiet sobs?wait. He was not dreaming.

    Obi-Wan immediately became alert. Someone was crying, and it wasn?t himself. It was Anakin, in the other room.

    ?Train the boy.?

    Obi-Wan quietly slipped out of his room and across the narrow hall to Anakin?s room. The entire trip was disorienting, leaving the Master?s room, to seek out the learner. Only a week ago, he had been the one needing to be taught.

    Pausing at the threshold of the door, Obi-Wan suddenly felt an irrational urge to run in the opposite direction. He called to the force, and remembered the last plea of his master. He would walk through the door and help the frightened child.

    ?Anakin?? He said softly. The sobs suddenly became muffled, and in the shadows, Obi-Wan could see the boy had buried his head in the pillows. Suddenly, Obi-Wan felt awkward. What was he to do? It suddenly seemed completely absurd that somehow he would be able to help the distressed child. He still felt like a child himself.

    ?Train the boy.?

    Qui-Gon had implored this of him. He seemed to see something special with Anakin, something that Obi-Wan was only beginning to comprehend. His master had also believed that Obi-Wan was capable of being the one to raise Anakin.

    Without further words, Obi-wan sat down on the edge of the boy?s bed. Perhaps he should speak again. Maybe Anakin would initiate conversation - he was always more than talkative during the day. Then again, maybe not. Why would Anakin trust a young man he barely knew with his pain and tears. Obi-Wan knew that were their positions reversed, he wouldn?t.

    They had only known each other for a week.

    The muffled cries slowed, then ceased. Still, Obi-Wan could feel that Anakin was awake, his emotions every bit as tumultuous as before. Was simply being there the right thing for him to do? Maybe he was annoying Anakin - perhaps he wanted privacy.

    Obi-Wan felt like crying in frustration himself. Again, ?Train the boy.?

    What would his master have done? What would Anakin?s mother have done? Obi-Wan realised that it didn?t matter. Anakin trusted them both. This was different, he and Anakin were essentially strangers. Obi-Wan knew he was not naturally a cosy person, and in retrospect, he had been quite distant this last w
     
    Princess skywalker likes this.
  2. diamond_pony2002

    diamond_pony2002 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 6, 2002
    i like alot! more!!!
     
  3. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    *applauds* Very good! :D

    You really showed not only Obi-Wan's uncertainty, but his personality . . . he really doesn't know how to act around a child. Explaining to Anakin how he could be dangerous - :p the kid is only 9! But I think that's very in character.

    Nice job. :D
     
  4. Hananiah

    Hananiah Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 15, 2003
    This is great, you show how unprepared both Ani and Obi are about dealing with each other, and how they need each other,to go forward this is a wonderful fic
     
  5. darla101

    darla101 Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2003
    OMG that was amazing. I love it.
    Its been ages since we had a good Obi Ani fic.
    Well overdue and extremely well written.
     
  6. Master_Comedy_Kitty

    Master_Comedy_Kitty Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 5, 2002
    wow. Very nice. Good Obi/Ani fics(without Anakin acting like a jerk) are indeed rare. Nice too find another one. Great job . :)
     
  7. Jinjur

    Jinjur Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Nov 10, 2002
    A triumphant exploration, a beautiful examination, a charming vignette, and a thrilling beginning to what I hope is a long, and prolific writing career.

    A firm grasp on language, coupled with exceptionally delicate and subtly characterization.

    Ah, Calantha, you have produced a delightful piece of work and I cannot wait to read what you dream up next.

    General Jinjur
     
  8. Calantha

    Calantha Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Oct 25, 2002
    :D I'm glad you liked this! I'm very shy, even on the internet, and I was pretty nervous posting on the boards.

    diamond_pony2002: This story's done - but I found I really liked writing SW fanfic. I'll be writing more - likely something longer.

    Obaona: [face_blush] Thank you. I think Obi-Wan's great - but he's not perfect, and I always imagined he's be awkward around younger children. Due to inexcusable shyness, I lurked through Tainted Child, so I never ended up telling you how much I loved that story. When I found out you were sixteen, I though: Hmmm, I'm sixteen as well, I might as well give this writing thing a try. You write very well - it was inspiring. :)

    Hananiah: :D Thank you!

    darla101: [face_blush] Amazing? Wow. I'm glad you liked it.

    Master_Comedy_Kitty: Didn't you know? Anakin was busy torturing kittens between scenes during TPM! 8-} No, he's a kid, and I can't imagine how frightned I'd be in his position. Thank you for replying! :)

    Jinjur: :D You yourself seem to have quite the talent with words. I little bird told me that you might be writing something yourself! ;)





     
  9. diamond_pony2002

    diamond_pony2002 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 6, 2002
  10. Sara_Kenobi

    Sara_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Registered:
    Sep 21, 2000
    That was your first? That was just amazing and very heartwarming. I hope to see more things from you. ;)
     
  11. Calantha

    Calantha Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Oct 25, 2002
    diamond_pony2002 - Thank you for the links! I will go and read them, after I finish my endless Physics homework. So it might take a while.

    Sara_Kenobi - [face_blush] Thank you. I think I will write some more, though it will probably be in the JA era. By the way, in your signature it says you're the member of the JC Hufflepuff House. I'm a Hufflepuff too! Is there a thread somewhere for that?
     
  12. Cammi_Kenobi

    Cammi_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 30, 2003
    It was great... I told you so!!! 8-}
    Write more, More, MORE!!! you descibed Obi_wans uncertanty about the "Train the boy." thing very well. I like how you portrayed his feelings Keep up the good work!!! I was great!!! :D
     
  13. Jinjur

    Jinjur Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Nov 10, 2002
    Ah! Just another comment to add to Cammi's (and to up this wonderful story as much as I can - as it well deserves). You portrayed the anxiety, the precociousness of the personnality, the gentle tension of the situation is riviting.

    That's all I have to say for now but wait until tomorrow!

    General Jinjur
     
  14. darla101

    darla101 Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2003
    Yeah I only have two up, and both have been in the last 2 weeks or so In the saga section.

    Its nice to know people engoy your work. And I enjoy yours!
     
  15. Kit'

    Kit' Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 1999
    Excellent post! Calantha, you're one extremely talented author. May this first story for all its glory and prowess, not be the last.

    Kithera
     
  16. Bellyup

    Bellyup Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 29, 2002
    "It is my pleasure to carry on what he?s unable to finish. I?m honoured to train you.?

    Not to mention terrified and completely unqualified.


    [face_laugh] That is so in character with Obi-Wan!! You had both Ani and Obi down extremly well, with Anakin's bluntness and honesty and questions, Obi-Wan's confusion and yet he still has that dry sense of humour. Those two are sometimes quite hard to write--good for you!

    I have to a ree with everyone else, that the tension rising with Obi-Wan not sure what to say was excellent. Also the sadness that was flowing from both of them due to Shmi and Qui-Gon leaving or being left.

    This was a really sweet piece of work. I'm definetly looking forward to more stuff from you!
     
  17. Jinjur

    Jinjur Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Nov 10, 2002
    Calantha - I was wondering when you are going to release your next piece? I am waiting with baited breath.

    A little bird told me that you are starting an epic? Truth? Lies? All of the above?

    General Jinjur
     
  18. darla101

    darla101 Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2003
    I concur with Jinjur!

    We need more!
     
  19. Cammi_Kenobi

    Cammi_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 30, 2003
    Yes I agree you should write more soon. Please?
    *Gives you the sad puppy dog look*
     
  20. Calantha

    Calantha Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Oct 25, 2002
    Kit - :) Thank you! It won't be the last. I've started a JA era story. All I need now is for Real Life to back off so I can sit down and write it!

    Bellyup - :D Your comments were the best part of my day! Thanks!

    Jinjur, darla101 and Cammi_Kenobi, thank you for the encouragement. [face_blush] I will be writing more, I just need to get my high school courses under control. Soon, I promise! Anyways, when I start posting the next story, I'll leave a link here.

    ~Calantha
     
  21. ROGUE_49

    ROGUE_49 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    I totally agree with the general concensus Calantha.

    You want to know something funny? My co-author and I, for the Obi/Ani fic we've been posting, considered a title similar to that. Good thing we didn't ;). Ours is a fic that takes some of the same ideas, but it's going to be full-length, and we've added a bit of a twist. I couldn't help but notice this line in particular, when Obi is thinking about Qui-Gon and Ani, his mother-

    They sat in a silence, both just recognizing how alike they really were.

    In one of our opening posts we referred to both Obi-Wan and Anakin as "orphans"- it was just a noun that seemed to fit, but it really is true. They've both lost someone very dear to them., someone who always looked out for them and provided for their every need. Ironic that now they're meant to be that for eachother.

    The emotions throughout the entire piece were outstanding.

    Oh - this was hilarious I was ROTFL [face_laugh]:

    Not to mention terrified and completely unqualified.

    Too funny.

    And darla- "ages since we've seen a good Ani/Obi fic?"?? Should I be offended? 8-} J/K.

    Anyways- great job and I'll be looing for more of your stuff Calantha

    -Rogue :D






     
  22. darla101

    darla101 Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2003
    aww soweee rogue. This was before AF.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.