Story [Transformers] Satan's Camaro Strike's Back--Bumblebee's First April Fool's Day--Humor

Author's note: This is in honor of my very nice friend, Eowyn77. She's been my collaborator on the Botosphere for almost two years and today, I called her up and told her I was going to cut her back on the project because she'd gone too far. She sounded slightly shell-shocked but was being very nice until I told her "And I just wanted to say...April Fool's." Mr. Rentch's prank is borrowed from my older sister, who played that prank on our 7th grade Social Studies Teacher, Mr. Hamar. The line about practical jokes is from Nick Riordan. Oh, and spoilers for The Exorcist.
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2008 was the year I learned that aliens and drive-ins don?t mix. Even worse, aliens, drive-ins and human holidays don?t mix. Really well. At all. If you value your life, sanity or allowance.

I knew that holidays and Bumblebee were not the best things. Mom had tried to give him a kind of normal introduction to how a human family worked, but she had gone too far when she gave him an X-files bumper sticker for Christmas. I mean, come on, Mom. It?s like giving a born-again Christian a copy of Jesus Camp for their birthday.

Ever since, Bee had kind of steered clear of Mom. I had the feeling that he would have done it anyway, but he had been feeling pretty good about his efforts and blending in until she gave him an NBE Pride present.

But I had no idea what I was going to be subjected to when we decided to go to Mardis Gras Movie Night at St. Ferdinand?s. It?s one of those things that Father Butaker does to show that he?s in touch with the spirit of the community. I?m not a practicing Catholic or practicing anything, really, but I like a good movie as much as the next guy and it?s a drive-in. I?ve been dreaming about going to a drive-in with my girl since Mom made me watch Grease when I was 12. And they usually show pretty good stuff, as long as you can put up with every movie about the Catholics kicking butt known to man and don?t mind them playing ?Our God is An Awesome God? over the closing credits of everything.

2008 was going to be epic. Reason 1: I had a smoking car. (Not really. He just liked it when girls called him that.) Reason 2: I had a smoking hot girlfriend. Reason 3: They were playing The Exorcist and really, how many times in your life can you see that on the big screen?

Mardis Gras was really early that year, but one of the awesome things about Mission City is that February 25 rolls around and you can still go out without a coat. So we hit the concessions stand, grabbed one of the speakers they were renting out for a few bucks and snuggled up for some good ?70?s religious horror.

I practically lost my pre-Lent lunch around the time they pulled out the needles and that was something like 20 minutes into it. Mikaela, being Mikaela, sniggered constantly at everything from the pea soup to the death tumble at the end, but was oddly impressed by the contortionist stunt double scuttling down the stairs dripping blood.

Bee was enthralled. Usually, we?d be on a drive and he?d be making commentary. The one time we?d hit a drive-in before, he?d Rifftraxed it until Mikaela threatened to disconnect his radio. This time, he was so quiet I thought he?d blown a fuse. A couple of hours later, Karras had fallen down the famous stairs, Reagan was a normal 12-year-old girl again and Father Butaker had given some speech about spiritual warfare before letting us all out.

Maybe it was my imagination, but Bee kept steering clear of Catholic churches when we were out and about for the next couple of weeks. He always tuned in to the traffic reports to make an excuse for it, but I caught on pretty quickly to the fact that we hadn?t been anywhere near St. Ferdinand?s or St. Andrew?s since Bee saw what the nice men in backwards collars did on a boring Saturday night. I should have warned him that you can?t believe anything you see in the movies.

He finally got back to normal?well, normal for him?and I forgot all about The Exorcist for five whole days.

And then Mik

 

I lost it at THE POWER OF THE SPARK COMPELS YOU!!! That was SO funny! Poor Judy, there.

 

When you said it was cracked, you really weren't kidding!

 

The scary part of the whole thing is that I really thought of this on the way home and then wrote all 9 pages in about 90 minutes. Part of the 90 minutes was spent figuring out when Lent was.