CONTEST Treatment Contest Round 1

Discussion in 'Star Wars: Episode VII and Beyond (Archive)' started by PrincessKenobi, May 16, 2013.

  1. bellatroll Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 21, 2013
    Well, for you perhaps. I have three Juhanis in my (not immediate ) family :)
    Last edited by bellatroll, May 25, 2013
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  2. Jabari Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2007
    star 1
  3. Jedsithor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 1, 2005
    star 4
    I guess the voting will start soon?
  4. PrincessKenobi New Films Manager of DOOM

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Aug 12, 2000
    star 6
    We are discussing how to proceed, since we didn't have 10 entries.
  5. A Chorus of Disapproval New Films Riot Deterrent

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Aug 19, 2003
    star 7
    We did not foresee that there may be basic math involved... this may take awhile. :p
  6. Darth_Corvus Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 17, 2010
    star 4
    Well a top 3 would be kinda stupid cause the last round will determine the top 3. I'd suggest removing the one with the least votes and get it going with the other 5. On the off chance mine get's in, could you please include the unfinished parts this time?
  7. PrincessKenobi New Films Manager of DOOM

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    Member Since:
    Aug 12, 2000
    star 6
    Well we've actually decided because you all worked so hard that we would give you all vipship for the work you did.
  8. PrincessKenobi New Films Manager of DOOM

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    Aug 12, 2000
    star 6
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  9. Darth Chiznuk PT Trivia Master / Game Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2012
    star 5
    Really great job everybody! They were great to read. :)
  10. Jedsithor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 1, 2005
    star 4
    Huzzah. I can talk now. I am User A. I wrote "The Jedi Heretics" with Del-Boy Solo. :p

    I saw a couple of people asking about the names so now that the cat's out of the bag, I figure I should address it. Yes, I have seen Only Fools And Horses but no, Del isn't named after Derek Trotter. He was originally going to be called "Zel" but "Del" seem easier on the tongue. There was actually a logic to the naming of the characters, though some of them (like Val) were temporary names.

    Because my treatment dealt only with film-canon (thus Chewie lives), I wanted to employ some kind of naming convention that fit within the previous movies. I decided that Han's son's name would be a single syllable name and have three letters, like Han and the daughter would be a double syllable name and have four letters, ending in a vowel, like Leia (though in the treatment I did raise the possibility of shortening "Anna" to "Ana" to give it a slightly unusual spelling.

    As far as using "real" names goes, there are a few in the Star Wars movies already. Luke, Ben, even Leia (though it's usually spelled "Leah" or "Lea") and it was important that the names were easy to remember and to say. As I said, I went back and forth on how to spell Anna and as for Seth, every piece of Star Was fiction I've done in recent years (including the Kotor movie trilogy machinima) has featured a character called "Seth Draze." It's just one of those things I like to throw in. I deliberately decided against giving names to "The Voice" and "The Glorious One" because they are supposed to remain somewhat of a mystery. The idea was that their names are meaningless, only their purpose carries any weight. I even left the planet nameless (I initially considered Korriban but these guys aren't Sith so I decided against it) because the whole thing is supposed to be beyond the knowledge of the heroes.

    As for what their purpose is, and the plot in general, after the destruction of the Sith in Return Of The Jedi, I didn't want to rehash that old conflict. So the idea I had was to create a kind of extra-galactic cult who are strong in the Force but if you were to try to sense the Force within them, you'd sense nothing. I do have an inkling that if you took a Midichlorian count, it would come up zero. These guys apparently lack the Force altogether, yet they wield it like masters. There's a paradox in Star Wars that says life creates the Force but life couldn't exist without the Force and that's ultimately what I want to explore across the trilogy. Can life exist without the Force? Or does the Force itself have an opposite? An Anti-Force? The Voice is capable of healing people and in Episode VIII, you would see a character perform a genuine resurrection. I guess the idea was to take the philosophy and metaphysics that were only discussed in the previous films and make them real.

    But who is The Glorious One? To be honest, I don't quite know yet. I do know that he would have come from the netherworld of the Force. He'd effectively be a Force Ghost though not necessarily a Jedi. And no it's not Palpatine. My thinking right now is that he's either an ancient Force user from before the dawn of the Jedi, or a manifestation of the Anti-Force...I say Anti-Force, I'm really talking about death, or a lack of life. If the Force exists because life exists, what exists in realms where there is no life? The notion I have is that in Episode IX, Luke would return as a ghost to do battle with The Glorious One (possibly alongside other ghost Jedi). Obi-Wan once said "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine" and Episode IX would explore that to a degree with the very nature of the Force and all life in the galaxy at stake.

    So yeah, if anyone has any thoughts or questions about things I did in the treatment, feel free to ask.
  11. A Chorus of Disapproval New Films Riot Deterrent

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Aug 19, 2003
    star 7
  12. Slash78 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2004
    star 3

    Sorry, Antilles is already the Star Wars of Jones, as in Corellia Antilles. You'll have to come up with another one for Smith.;)
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  13. Jedi General Gelderd Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 6, 2004
    star 5
    Brilliant stuff - I am User C; "The Creeping Fear". :D

    It's annoying partly, as after writing this and submitting it I neglected an idea I had for sequences on Dantooine with Ben and Kish before they enter the ruins, maybe in some wilderness or a local town, sort of like the Mos Espa scenes in 'The Phantom Menace' that shows the locals and develop a bit of character.

    And I originally was going to have Han killed at the end saving Leia from an attack but that seemed a bit too cliche, so with the sudden reveal of the Sith taking Leia's life with the introduction of Grand Admiral Thrawn working with them (for fans of the EU and not, sort of mixed them both together for his character) I felt it Leia was killed, it would leave a broken family and broken heroes with a new generation forced to heal wounds and prove unity is stronger in the face of adversity...all that stuff.

    It was great fun to do though, hope you all enjoyed the read. I sure did with the other treatments!

    Thanks to @PrincessKenobi for the chance to do it! :D
  14. Jedsithor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 1, 2005
    star 4
    Heh, I thought about killing Han too. Luke was always going to die but I did consider having Han die with him. I decided against it because I thought of a role for Han in the sequels. Then I thought about killing Chewie and again, a plot idea for a later film stopped it. I have this notion of Han, Lando and Chewie going on an adventure, attempting to recruit the scum of the galaxy for the war effort and the possibilities of having the three of them on a ship together were too hilarious for me to kill either Han or Chewie. Needless to say, by that point Lando is no longer President.

    Killing Luke was always necessary, first to push Leia into the role of a Jedi leader and second, because Luke has a big role in Episode IX but he needs to be dead for it to happen. Also, Qui-Gon dies in Episode I and Obi-Wan dies in Episode IV so having Luke carry on that tradition made sense.
  15. rocknroll41 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2013
    star 1
    you all did an excellent job. The one that got my attention the most was the "Jedi Heretics" one. That was terrific. Congrats to all of you
  16. Darth_Corvus Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 17, 2010
    star 4
    Well that was fun. Thanks for the last minute correction, Princess! Proud user B here. Hope the real screenwriter won't get any relationship issues or we might get a rushed movie. Any kind of comment would be welcome.
  17. Darth Archimage Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2013
    star 2
    After submitting E - Rise of the Fallen, I have to admit that I was also frustrated by not getting all my ideas in. My struggle came with balancing the original character's time with the new characters, looking back I probably have too many characters to begin with. In my revisions, I have given Han a bigger and more important roll but unfortunately have had to kill Lando and Chewy off.

    It was a lot of fun - nice job to everyone else who submitted.
  18. A Chorus of Disapproval New Films Riot Deterrent

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    star 7
    Darth Archimage and eht13 like this.
  19. Jabari Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2007
    star 1
    Yes, good stuff everyone, congratulations! I am User D. And comments are welcome :)

    I've been thinking about what I really wanted to see in a new Star Wars movie ever since they were announced, and comparing that with my current attempt to finish reading the Expanded Universe before Episode VII comes out. What is good and bad about the EU? What makes the movies so great?

    I think one of the things that makes the OT great is the dynamic of the three heroes. While Luke is technically the main hero, Leia and Han are essential to the plot. One of the great disappointments of the PT for me was that not enough time was shown of Obi-Wan and Anakin actually acting like friends. So I chose to have 3 protagonists. But I also didn't want to be constricted by EU continuity, so they are original characters.

    Maren Solo is very roughly the equivalent of Jaina Solo. I liked Jaina's personality, a lot like Han, and also I'm really sick of every time a hero has a kid, it's always a son. MacGyver, Indiana Jones (which, I might add was a retcon - in the original version of Young Indiana Jones Chronicles he had a daughter. Instead we get Mutt. :() etc. The father-daughter relationship rarely gets used, and mother-daughter always seems to be antagonistic in movies. Also, female Jedi and/or pilot who has a speaking role. So here's to something different :)

    Jarek Windkiller has an element of Jag Fel, but I also wanted him to be the Princess Leia of this group. The voice of reason. And the love interest. Heh. :) Also, there are far too many brown-haired white guys in the EU, so I wanted him to be darker skinned. I also like the idea that the Empire still exists somewhere (though not in the original form), and the Republic has come to an uneasy peace.

    Kora Ven - seriously, there are tons of cool aliens in Star Wars. And they're never main characters. So, who doesn't like Twi'leks? They can't all be slave dancers. :) I also wanted one of the heroes to be "the shady one" to create some tension in the group. They aren't immediate friends, but their friendship is forged by events like Luke, Leia and Han.

    The Conglomeration is an attempt to combine some of the best ideas from the various villains throughout Star Wars. An unknown menace from an unknown region of space - BUT I didn't want to have them be a fanatical religious or xenophobic group, or aliens vs humans. Plus, I liked the idea of a non-humanoid mastermind, a Chiss commander, and a Sith joining forces. (and there has to be a Sith, so we can have lightsaber duels.)

    I purposely minimized Luke, Leia and Han's roles because one of the most obnoxious things in the EU for me right now is the failure to let the younger characters shine. If the story focuses too much on the original characters, the next generation suffers. Much as I love the original characters, it's time for new heroes. I also didn't want the story to be too Jedi-centric - this should be the trilogy of balance between Jedi and non-Jedi characters. More aliens, more women, more non-white characters.
  20. Darth_Corvus Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 17, 2010
    star 4
    Well ignoring the fact that it completely disregards the EU(Which I wanted to avoid. Looks like I was the only one) I think yours is the best of the six by far.
  21. The Hellhammer Grand Judicator of the New Film Territories

    Moderator
    Member Since:
    Nov 4, 2012
    star 5
    Congrats to all, well deserved!
  22. Jedsithor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 1, 2005
    star 4
    Thanks.

    And well done to the other writers too.
  23. Darth Archimage Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2013
    star 2

    I have to say that "Jedi Heretics" was my favorite as well.
    I'm curious, did/do you have a cast in mind as you wrote your treatment -- who would you have play your main characters?
    Darth Archimage threw 6-faced die for: Total: 1
  24. Jabari Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2007
    star 1
    Thank you! I was trying to go with the spirit of the best of the EU, not get stuck on continuity. Much as I love the EU, I find it easier to write original stuff. :)
  25. Darth_Corvus Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 17, 2010
    star 4
    True enough. Writing already established characters is hard. But with the EU being what actually brings money to Star Wars, Abrams would be stupid to retcon Kyle Katarn out of existence.

    Anyway hope to see something from you at the inevitable Episode VIII treatment contest
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