Treaty (JA) AU

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Raye, May 30, 2002.

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  1. Raye Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    Well this is my first SW fic! I thought I?d post a summary first to see what people think.

    On an unnamed planet in a far away place, Obi-Wan must overcome his fear, his hate and most of all, his love, in order to save the known universe. The gentle peace that has drifted over Naboo and Coruscant is about to be broken and the fragile thread of life is in danger of diminishing. To save the world from this fate, Obi-Wan must form a Treaty with the enemy and face that fact that his only chance of survival lies in the hands of the ultimate evil.

    Feedback welcomed! Please tell me what you think. I?m open! :)

  2. Ganki Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2002
    star 3
    Souns great. Looks like it will be a great fic! Hope you post something soon ^_^ I'll follow it for sure.

    Just a few questions.....

    Will there be Qui-Gon or Anakin or will it be just him?

    Obi/Angst? *sounds like it but just want to make sure*


    Just curious you don't have to answer them if it may spoil something. Hope you start the fic soon!

  3. Lord_Volz Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2002
    star 2
    I always enjoy a good JA story. I look forward to reading it!
  4. Raye Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    Ganki Thanks for replying! Qui will be in this one! I didn?t mention him cause most of the fic is about Obi! Well I can?t say too much but Obi/Angst defiantly and romance? You?ll just have to wait and see!

    Lord VoltsYou?re welcome to follow as long as you want!

    Well here is the first post! Hope you enjoy!


    A soft breeze blew the light curtains gently in the dark of midnight. Moonlight beamed through the window and came to rest on the bed, lighting it up like a beacon of hope. The crisp sheets and flat pillow seemed cold and uninviting.

    Silence was the only sound that echoed around the room. The soft brush of the curtains sounded every now and then, making themselves known to no one. Small lights of a Holo clock peered out of the darkness. The clock sat on the only other piece of furniture in the small room.

    The silence was broken by the sound of a door opening and voices drifted into the confined space. The voices stoped and were replaced with the sound of boots approaching. The wind blew up in protest as the door was wrenched open and a young figure threw themself down on the clean bed.

    The figure let out a long sigh and ran a hand through its spiky blonde hair. The young man grunted and kicked his boots off, letting them land with an undignified bump. He then placed a hand over his eyes and let out another long sigh.

    Artificial light flooded the room as someone turned on the lights. The boy grunted again and propped himself up to see who dared enter his room at such a time. Blinking, his vision focused on a tall man standing with his arms folded across his chest. His face was plastered with a frowned and his hair was a mess.

    'You look as good as I fell,' the young man said, emotionless.

    The man smiled vaguely and moved to stand at the small window. His young companion's brow farrowed as he tried to figure out why he was in his room.

    'Was there something you wanted?' he asked, trying to hurry him out of his personal space.

    It seemed that this room was the only thing he could keep to himself lately. Everything, even his feelings, was known to this man. His could not do anything without permission from him. The freedom to do what he pleased had never really been his but he liked to think that it once was.

    'Only your assurance that you are all right. That mission was particularly hard, even for someone with as much experience as I. I was merely concerned for my Padawan,' the man replied.

    Obi-Wan flopped down on his pillow and sighed once again. It also seemed that he was destined to sigh for an eternity. Maybe if he did not have so much on his mind, he could be at ease, but that was out of his reach.

    'The experience will be with me forever but I will be fine. There is no need for you to worry Master.'

    Qui-Gon was not convinced. His Padawan had been through allot lately and was known for sudden outbursts of emotion. It would not help his training if he suddenly started ranting at Master Yoda for being green and all knowing. He was sure that something still bothered him.

    'Obi-Wan, something plagues your mind. I can help you,' he tried.

    'Master I would like for you to help but for you to do that, you would need to know the problem.'

    'Yes, what is wrong there?'

    Obi-Wan sighed and looked at the roof. He didn't want to be having this conversation. Not now, not here. It was too soon for this to be taking place. Too soon after the mission. Maybe if he had have asked tomorrow, then Obi-Wan might have answered. The timing was off and he would not give his Master an answer.

    'Obi-Wan, please. Tell me what troubles you.'

    As Qui-Gon stared down at his Padawan, he felt a wave of uncertainty pass through their bond. This only troubled him more. Something was wrong with his young friend and he wanted to help.

    Why is he so distant?

    Obi-Wan knew that he would not be left alone unless he told Qui-Gon what was wrong. Why couldn't he ask later? Finally, he gave in.

    'Master there is a disturbance in the force. I first felt it on KT- 290 and it ha
  5. J_K_DART Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Pretty good! Poor ol' Obi, his friend feeling like suicide. I'm sure I aren't the only one who thinks Palpy has a much darker mission in store than Qui-Gon thinks! ;)
  6. Amidala_Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2001
    star 5
    Great start! I've never been a fan of JA, but with you writing, anything is possible. Please continue, reading this has forced me to want more.

    Am [face_love]
  7. J_K_DART Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
  8. Ganki Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2002
    star 3
    WOW it looks like a great start. I sorta have a bad feeling about Ket, but still I like the kid. Please pst again soon. I'll be here!

  9. Raye Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    Dart Much darker? That isn?t even grazing the surface! You?ll see what happens shortly. ;)

    Am I am greatly honoured that you of all people like my writing! This is a first. Hope you continue to like.

    Ganki Your bad feeling is rite. He?s a cool guy all the same and you?ll see what?s in store for him. He has a very important role to play yet.

    Well I think it?s okay to give you all this post. Pardon any mistakes. I?m my own beta. Enjoy!


    ?Hey mister boredom, get up!?

    The voice drifted into Obi-Wan?s head and slowly played with his thoughts. It twirled around his brain, telling him that the voice was male and irritated.

    ?Obi hurry up. Come on, we gotta go!?

    That was all it took to wake him up. He just could not stand it when Ket called him Obi.

    ?My name, is Obi-Wan,? he grumbled.

    ?Fine, Dopey-Wan move it.?

    Finally, Ket had succeeded in pushing him to resort to yelling. It was not a hard thing to do any more. He just didn?t have any patients.

    Slowly, Obi-Wan dragged himself from the bed and pulled his cloak on. Ket was standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame with a wide grin on his face.

    ?Why are you so smug?? he asked, annoyed.

    ?Why are you acting like an old man??

    Obi-Wan ignored him and headed for the cockpit. He was in no mood to tolerate his best friend at the moment. Maybe if he had have gotten some sleep, then he would have been in a better mood. But he had not had any more sleep than he had received while on the last planet.

    Moving aside, so that Obi-Wan could pass, Ket?s grin widened and he followed the old man out. It was a fun game to him, to tease his friend when he knew he was in a bad mood. That was half the fun! The other half was seeing him yell. It was so rare and yet so pleasing.

    The ship was silent and still as the two made their way to the cockpit. Master Qui-Gon had called them there to speak about the mission. He wanted to make sure they knew what they had to do and that they did it right.

    Taking bigger steps than usual, they reach it in no time. The door was already open and they could see Renk at the control panel.

    ?If he is planning on flying us home, you can kiss your life goodbye,? Ket said with seriousness.

    ?I head that young Padawan. Maybe you think you could do a better job than I could?? Renk asked more slowly than usual.

    Qui-Gon raised his hand to silence Ket before he bit back. He didn?t want a civil war on the ship to suddenly break out and consume them.

    ?Ket, I want you to stay on the ship with Master Renk for now,? Qui-Gon said sternly. ?Obi-Wan and I will search the area for any signs of life then report back.?

    After giving Ket strict orders not to do anything stupid while they were gone, Qui-Gon headed for the hatch with his Padawan in tow.

    The two walked down onto the rocky surface of the planet. There was not a single tree in sight as they made their way across the terrain. High cliffs rose from the ground at obscure angles and tall pillars of rock topped the sky,

    ?What a strange planet,? Obi-Wan stated.

    ?Yes, it is. But the holopad said that this was a small planet covered in plant life and swamps. I do not understand. I had the pilot land near the base but the scans showed nothing.?

    ?Master, could it be that the data entered about the planet was wrong??

    Qui-Gon turned to face his Padawan. ?Explain??

    ?Perhaps someone entered it wrong to make people think that it was a plant planet and also entered the information about the base. It could be possible that the information is not of this place.?

    ?Are you saying that the data on this place has been entered wrong??

    Obi-Wan nodded.

    ?Who gave us the holopad??

    ?The data was sent along with the transmission for help. It came from the Queen?s ship. It is possible that they had the wrong planet.?

    Obi-Wan headed back to the ship. He didn?t wait for his Master and went straight back to the cockpit.

    ?Obi-Wan, what are you doing?? Ket asked as he sat down in the pilot?s chair.

    Not answering him, Obi-Wan repl
  10. Ganki Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2002
    star 3
    *squeals* this is getting good! I'm learining to love this fic.

    You are spoiling me with such long post and so very soon! LOL

    Post soon! *great post again!*

  11. The Butler Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 1999
    star 4
    Two good posts...I like this story. Something does seem to be going on with Ket. I wonder what it is...

  12. Amidala_Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2001
    star 5
    Nice pace! Great flow! Bravo. You did a great job and included a lot of details in there.

    Am [face_love]
  13. PadawanKitara Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    So is that a bad guy taking over Obi's body?
  14. Raye Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    Ganki What?s not to love? LOL I post the next chapter when I have the next one after that done so I?ve always got two posts up my sleave!

    The Butler There is something going on with Ket. Allot really. But I can?t tell you!

    Am Thanks! Me detail? Not really. LOL

    Kitara All I can tell you is it is not Obi-Wan! The post after this will reveal all that. Just hang on until then!

    Well, I think it?s safe to give you all the next post. It?s getting better!


    Dark murky green clouds covered the sky. Tiny droplets of rain fell from the green mass and hit the ground with a small slash. The sun was completely hidden, the land in shadows. Misty rain turned into a thunderous downpour as the sky opened up and lashed out its fury.

    Thunder roared and rolled around the flat land. The green plain was broken by a large clutter of pointed pillars of rock, reaching to the sky. The tall towers formed a perfect circle, leaving only a small space in the centre.

    As the rain hit the ground, steam rose and covered the land with a ghostly fog. The steam in the centre of the pillars spiralled upwards and formed a false sky half way up the stone walls. With the fog came the silence. It was absolute and never broken.

    Obi-Wan stirred slightly and slowly opened his eyes to stare at the sky of fog. He winced in pain as he sat up too fast. His head was throbbing and he was sure his skull had been cracked. He glanced around the small space and found the black figure leaning against the far wall.

    Instincts over came Obi-Wan and he reached for his Lightsaber only to find that it was missing. He looked over at the figure again.

    ?Looking for this?? it asked in a feminine voice.

    Holding the saber up, a small smile spread across the figure?s features but was hidden by the large hood that covered its face.

    ?What?where are we?? Obi-Wan asked, a little unsure.

    ?We are here,? the figure replied, placing the saber within the folds of its cloak.

    Obi-Wan was sure the figure that stood before him was female. The voice was what gave it away. It was so feminine and had that womanly ring to it.

    ?Where is here?? he tried.

    The figure moved off the wall and looked up at the foggy sky. Sighing, she pulled Obi-Wan to his feet and whipped the water off her hood.

    ?Walk,? she commanded and pointed to a small gap in the wall.

    ?My saber first,? he tested.

    ?Don?t make me force you. Walk?now.?

    Obi-Wan decided the do as she said for now and walked out into the open space. He regretted doing so for the rain was stronger and the wind was blowing fiercely across the plain, broken by nothing. He moved away from the rock and noticed the black fighter sitting a small distance away.

    ?Keep going,? the figure said. Her voice was young.

    Before she could react, Obi-Wan had flipped over her and as she whirled around, his Lightsaber flew into his hand.

    Igniting his saber, he faced the black clad girl. She had drawn her own red saber and was holding it in front of her. Obi-Wan knew he had the advantage. She was wearing a larger and heavier cloak and was bound to be weighed down by all the rain.

    ?Don?t do this Padawan. You cannot hope to win,? she warned.

    ?That?s what you think,? he replied with a smug.

    Lashing out, Obi-Wan beat at the girl with all his strength. He was not going to let a female beat him twice. His pride would not allow it.

    The girl blocked every blow as they rained down on her. She never dropped her guard and would not strike back. Her master wanted him alive and unharmed. He would get what he wanted but she was finding it very hard not to cut the boy into little pieces.

    Obi-Wan slashed widely, catching her of guard. But before he could bring his saber around to face her, she had him down, pinned on the ground.

    'Give up yet, Padawan?' she asked, sneering as she addressed him lowly.

    Obi-Wan didn?t answer. He was struggling to get out from under her. To stop him from moving she placed her saber across his throat and gabbed his own blue one from his cold hand and
  15. PadawanKitara Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    women were dumb creatures as far as he was concerned

    *Smack* That was the sound of Kitara's hand hitting Obi-Wan upside the head.

    Don't worry about Qui-Gon posts. I'm an Obi fan... or at least I was until that last comment :D
  16. Raye Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    :Grins Widley:

    LOL! I'm glad you're an Obi fan. Poor young, innocent Obi-Wan! I'm sure he'll come around after the smack on the head, don't you think?
  17. Ganki Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2002
    star 3
    ^_^ that was an amazing post. Please more soon!

    *grabs the board and pulls it to the tippy-top* UP!
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