Saga Turn Your Face to the Sun (DDC 2015: Obi-Wan) COMPLETE, and please vote for your fave DD2015 fic!

Thank you! I love Beru, we got such small glimpses of her in the films but if there was one thing that was obvious it was her love for Luke. Everything's still very raw for Obi-Wan, and he doesn't really have a plan so he's flailing a bit.

The bit about Anakin looking down his nose a bit at the other padawans was actually inspired by The Jedi Path, where Anakin's margin notes say he never went through the Initiate stage - when all the younglings bond and hang out with their "clans" and such - Anakin became a padawan straight away and missed this bonding which I think kind of makes his isolation from the other Jedi (other than Obi-Wan and Ahsoka) make a whole lot of sense.

Totally agree! Her first and ultimate concern is Luke, so if Obi-Wan is going to be useful for that purpose she's willing to let him in, but on the other hand she understands Owen's distaste for him. It's a balancing act.

I agree, I think there is so much of Beru in Luke - and you're right, a bit of Owen as well. I think they were a close family and loving guardians to Luke, and their protectiveness was born out of fear for his safety.

Poor, Obi-Wan, he's all alone with his guilt and self-recriminations. Thanks for reading!

Oh, I would just love to see an Obi-Wan movie with Bonnie, Joel and a little!Luke - the actors are all the right age and I'd find that so much more interesting and engaging that, say, a Boba Fett movie or something.

Obi-Wan probably wouldn't have much experience with babies, but I think the instinct would kick in with little Luke

Thank you!

I love Beru, and think she had so much influence on Luke. Tatooine would be a nightmare for a fastidious city-slicker like Obi-Wan, so I thought he'd be up for a bit of ranting in his journal, in his own way

Thank you! Obi-Wan such such a distinctive cadence, so I work hard on trying to get that right. I thought it made sense that a planet would little life wouldn't have as much Force energy as somewhere like Dagobah for instance, based on Obi-Wan's own explanation of it as an energy field created by living things - it seems logical that less living things = weaker Force connection, and also might explain Luke's Force sensitivity manifesting only in his flying skills and not in more obvious ways (since we see in the CW cartoon toddlers levitating things and such).

The inter-trilogy period really, really interests me, especially Luke and Leia's early lives. What exactly was Obi-Wan doing all those years - what was his plan? When Beru takes Luke from Obi-Wan in ROTS and her face lights up - and Owen is there on the ridge with a defiant back to Obi-Wan but then softens when Beru brings Luke over - So much emotion and complexity conveyed with no words, and I really wanted to explore that a bit further. Thanks for the comments and I will certainly tag you!

 

Tags: serendipityaey Findswoman

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Dear Qui-Gon,

Thank you for your counsel this morning. I admit that I only heard your voice very faintly, but I have been working on the exercises you suggested and hope that in time I will be able to converse with you properly. Dare I hope that I will be able to see you in corporeal form, as I did on Mortis? But that planet was teeming with the Force, it was no effort to perceive you. I have been cautious, using my powers only as necessary so not to project – I dare not try and reach out to Master Yoda in case Vader somehow senses me. Perhaps Yoda is being equally cautious, for I have not yet heard from him on Dagobah.

I imagine he –

Qui-Gon, some hours have elapsed since writing the above words. I had an unexpected visitor: Owen Lars. He appeared at my front door with a sour look on his face, and yet despite his countenance I welcomed him inside. He declined, but cast a cursory look around my small hut and did not seem impressed. He should have seen my quarters at the Jedi Temple - compared to that my new home is spacious! But I chose not to make this comment, and instead asked what I had done to deserve the pleasure of his company.

“Beru says your vaporator’s busted,” Owen said, and even with all of my Jedi insight that was the last thing I expected.

I wondered whether Beru forced him to come and assist me, or if hearing her speak of it he had simply taken it upon himself. Owen strikes me as the kind of man who would not let another suffer if it was within his power to assist – however he may feel about the person in question. In any event I was grateful, since the mechanics in Anchorhead had refused to journey across the Dune Sea to inspect the life-giving machinery.

Owen spoke little, but diligently worked on the vaporator located outside of my hut. I nonetheless tried to engage him in conversation – asking technical questions about moisture farming, requesting advice about the area and enquiring after Beru and Luke.

“I must thank you – again – for taking the boy in,” I told him, after several attempts at conversations were answered monosyllabically. “After all, he is not your blood kin.”

“No. But he’s still family,” Owen said gruffly into the vaporator. I didn't have a response for this, and it was a while before Owen spoke again.

“Do you have a family, Kenobi?" he asked eventually. "People out there missing you – wondering where you are?” From Beru, such questions may have been rippled with concern, but from Owen they were nothing but accusations.

My family are all gone, I wanted to tell him. He thinks me so detached, so unfeeling. I wanted to tell him about those I’ve loved that I’ve lost – you, Qui-Gon - Siri and Satine and Ventress, Ahsoka and Mace and Rex. Luminara, Aayla, Kit, Shaak Ti. Padmé. I could fill these pages with their names and there would still not be enough room. I wanted to tell him that the Jedi were my brothers and sisters, and that rather than searching for those who have survived this terrible purge so I can be with them, I remain here to watch over the son of the man who was closer than my brother, and more than my friend. The very man who is at this moment committing this genocide against his own people – who is probably hunting me, intent on my death more than any other.

I wanted to tell Owen that every time another one of my comrades dies I can feel it, in my heart and my mind and my soul. It is a death by a thousand cuts, but even worse than that pain is the fear that one day I will no longer be able to feel my brothers and sisters join the Force. On that day I will know that I am truly alone.

But I told Owen none of this, because it cannot possibly assist either of us.

“Anakin was my family,” I told him instead. “And therefore so is the boy.”

Owen gave me a look of utter contempt, and I realised that I had erred in my choice of words.

“His name is Luke,” Owen told me as he turned back to the vaporator, twisting his hydrospanner into the machinery forcefully.

“I know that.” I admit, my patience in that moment wore thin – who was this farmer to condescend to me like that? Anakin had been more my brother than his.

But I know you always used to say, Qui-Gon, that pride is not a weakness if tempered with humility – that one should acknowledge their own worth, just not in comparison or competition with others. It was these words I thought of, reminding myself of the advantages and experiences I have had, and those I have not. I do not know what it is to be a husband or father, to have the responsibility of keeping a family alive in a tough and inhospitable landscape. I would have raised Anakin's son myself if I thought I was capable of it, but despite our differences I do believe Owen and Beru better qualified.

As such, if I am ever to be allowed to visit Luke, and not relegated to watching over him from afar, I must keep Owen onside. Or at the very least not completely alienate him. I must hold my tongue, and save my complaining for you, Qui-Gon!

When Owen finished his work he deigned to explain to me to problem so that I could fix it myself should it happen again. I thanked him cordially, and held out my hand. Owen hesitated, but took it, and that felt like a victory.

“I only want to protect Luke,” I told him, grasping his hand.

“I know,” Owen said, and his gruff voice was a trifle softer. “But I don’t want to see you at my home, Kenobi.” His eyes met mine for the first time, and I saw nothing but steely resolve, felt nothing but determination as he dropped out of our brief handshake. And yet there was no malice in his words – simply a statement of fact.

What could do I do but tell him that I understood? He seemed satisfied by that, and left so he could make it home before darkness fell and the Tuskens started their hunts. He was probably mollified with the encounter, and I was happy to provide him with that satisfaction.

Ah, but you see, Qui-Gon, I am looking at Owen’s words from a different point of view than he perhaps intended. He did not say that I was not to visit the homestead – rather, that he did not wish to see me there. So there is nothing to prevent me from visiting Luke if Owen is not at home, correct?

I hope you can see me Qui-Gon – I am smiling.

Obi-Wan

 

Nice words to Qui-Gon
And with Owen about his large family he has lost (Jedi are one big family)

 

Nice of Owen to help Obi-Wan out...even if there was an ulterior motive.

Also, did I mention I love the font you're using? It just...fits the story somehow.

 

Excellent characterizations here. I like the spin Obi-Wan took on Owen's statement "I don't want to see you" You can tell Owen appreciates or at least believes Obi-Wan's true motive is only to protect Luke. And you can really, really feel his continued grief over Anakin.

 

The last two entries featuring Owen and Beru were wonderful! I can see OBW's going to have a challenging time with them; his frustration is palpable.

 

Oh Obi! Things are becoming "from a certain point of view" with you.

Great characterization with both Owen and Obi-Wan.

 

Thank you! Obi-Wan really did think of the Jedi as his family, and his grief would have been immense for them - not that he'd let anyone know it, of course.

Thanks! I do think Owen is a nice guy and would help Obi-Wan out out even if he doesn't like him, and of course take the opportunity to lay down the law.

I'm glad you like the font! I wanted the fic to have that hand-written feel, and that font seemed to best match Obi-Wan's handwriting as per The Jedi Path.

Thank you! I don't think Owen hates Obi-Wan, and knows that his motives are good, but after what happened to Anakin, Owen isn't going to let Obi-Wan too close to Luke. He just doesn't know about Obi-Wan's "certain point of view" - if he did he'd be more careful with his words!

Thank you! I feel so much for Obi-Wan, with all of that grief and self-recrimination going on below his calm exterior. He wishes he could raise Luke himself, but knows it's better for Luke to be raised by those more capable.

The font I'm using as per MS Word is Segoe Print

Thanks gal! For all his great negotiating skills, Owen and Beru pose a bit of a challenge

Thanks! Obi-Wan used to be such a straight arrow, but now he's all about the certain point of view

 

Wow! This is great! I love how you've portrayed Obi-Wan's time on Tatooine so far. You've done an amazing job showing Obi-Wan's grief over Anakin, his - albeit long-distance - clinging to Luke, and his struggle to become used to life on Tatooine. I am utterly hooked!

I wonder if, years from now, Luke will discover Obi-Wan's journal amongst the rest of Obi-Wan's effects...

 

Excellent format and I really liked the mention of Mortis - that would be so puzzling to Obi-Wan as to why he can't see Qui-Gon now. Also, the image of Obi-Wan making the usual silly faces that we all do towards infants is priceless!

 

This is tragic, and yet so stiff-upper-lip of Obi-wan to admit. The idea that each loss is a brutal pain, but the worst pain of all will be the day they stop. Obi-wan has had his world narrowed so dramatically and his options so savagely limited by fate. All he has now is his commitment to Luke and hope that something better must be coming. Life simply cannot be that cruel.

 

I just...don't struggle to follow when you're writing stuff. It's not ornate, and it's not watered down and bleak either. The measure is just right. Like the third bear's food and bed. So, I am glad that your comment on The Black Star reminded me that this thread (and the vignettes + the epic I don't dare to tackle just yet) are lying in my bookmarks. Thanks for squatting my rear-end with one of those things we kill flies and mosquitos with.

Emptiness can be tricky to describe, but you're acing it.

What immediately comes to mind is the following lines:

"What's it called when the family
you raised you don't know at all
Give us a point to miss
endings are killing me slow
I only ask for this - empiness replace my soul"

It seems that, however, Obi-wan is in denial when it comes to Luke. As in once bitten, twice shy; he does not want to get attached, both because of his principles and anger over Vader/Anakin, yet in the extreme loneliness he's experiencing, it's hard to fight the said statements and to clear one's mind, so...of course, mixed feelings and inner turmoil will be at work. Brilliant.

 

Thank you! It's quite a seachange for Obi-Wan, and a particuarly dark time for him - his Jedi traning certainly did not equip him for such circumstances but he's muddling through.

[/quote]I wonder if, years from now, Luke will discover Obi-Wan's journal amongst the rest of Obi-Wan's effects...[/quote]

Thanks! I only recently watched the Mortis arc on TCW, and thought it was so lovely they got Liam Neeson back for it. Obi-Wan may be a staid Jedi Master, but he is helpless before the power of a cute baby

It would be a terrible thing, to feel the death of comrades and friends, perhaps many at once, and yet a certain sense of dread to think that one day even that will be gone A part of him wishes he could be out there searching for other survivors and branding together, but he also knows it is more important to protect Luke like he promised, in the way he could not protect Anakin. Thanks for commenting!

Thanks! I don't blame you about the epic - it's 90k words and counting so quite an undertaking

Thank you - at this stage Luke represents a kind of redemption to Obi, and he doesn't quite think of him as anything more than a helpless child and Anakin's son, and that's deliberate to avoid getting attached to him. And yet he's so lonely also, and wants to have that reminder of happier times, with the hope that he could do a better job this time.

 

Tags: @serendipityaey @Findswoman


Dear Qui-Gon,

As you likely see and hear everything, it will not surprise you to learn that I have finally been able to commune with Master Yoda. It was a dangerous exercise, but well worth the risk. Given my barren surroundings dampening my connection to the Force I set out to find a location better suited to reaching out to Master Yoda across the expanse of space.

My first option was the city of Mos Eisley, as close to a metropolis as Tatooine offers, where a plethora of living beings pulsate and sing with the Force. And yet the distance poses a barrier to regular communication, not to mention the privacy concerns. My face may be still well known enough to the intragalactic clientele who frequent the city, not to mention the bounty which I am certain is on my head, meaning that my image is transmitted into every scum hole, drive bar and cantina.

So where else on the Sith-forsaken desert planet am I to find life? It was then I remembered my rescue of young Kallie Calwell from a field of Sarlaccs, not long after I first arrived on Tatooine. The creatures pulsated with life despite their dormancy, and I knew that their presence in the Force would not only augment my own abilities, but mask them. And yet the journey out into the Dune Sea was still an immense undertaking – my epoie Rooh would not be persuaded to take me, no doubt remembering that harrowing day where we both almost fell victim to the sarlaccs. I do not blame her. She is my lone friend here, and the only one I can talk to. Other than you, Qui-Gon, but of course she is flesh and blood, and I find that sometimes makes a difference.

Oh, if the Obi-Wan of fifteen years ago could have heard that! Sometimes I envy that boy so sure of his convictions and place in the galaxy. And yet, he was a young, dispassionate fool who thought other life forms pathetic and beneath him. No, even with all that I have suffered, I would rather be me than him. I have learned so much, and still have more to learn. I know that now.

But I digress. I journeyed out into the Wastes where I knew several sarlaccs dwelled and was able to conceal my presence from them while reaching out into the galaxy and call to Yoda. He answered almost immediately, and explained that Dagobah was a planet teeming with the Force, light and dark, enough to mask him and yet also enable him a deep communion with the Force itself. I am not sure if I envy this or not.

I asked him if his meditations had revealed to him the future; whether we had made the right choice going into exile rather than standing firm to fight this new Empire. On this point Yoda was obtuse and cryptic as always, which leads me to believe he has not found the answers either. He advised me to stay the course and protect the infant Skywalker; that is my task. Perhaps someday we will form a more concrete plan, but for now I will heed Master Yoda’s advice, and endure.


Obi-Wan Kenobi

 

Exactly what I would expect from Yoda. Great update. Again, very in character for Obi-Wan to be searching for answers to these questions.

 

Love that Obi-Wan was able to get into contact with Yoda, who is as always cryptic

 

I enjoyed Obi-Wan's musings on his attitude in his youth versus now with more experiences. There is a sense of nostalgia for the lost innocence but also a realization that he has learned, and has more to learn. LOL on Yoda's characteristic crypticness. The course they are on is doubtless the safest for all.

 

Great update! It's easy to see why Rooh didn't want to go out into the desert again.

 

EEEE! You brought in a mention of a Kenobi character!!! Go you! Effective way to establish timing of the diary, too, and I liked the contact with Yoda. Obi-Wan needed a pet, too, so good for him that Rooh is a non-judgmental listener.

It's likely food for yet another plot lagomorph, but likely see and hear everything is fascinating to consider: do Force ghosts haunt, or possess, or what exactly is the limit of their power? Do they know observe everything? *gets brooding upon the subject*

 

If only we had the wisdom of age when we had the vigor of youth. I like that Obi-Wan still feels that there is more to learn, more to experience. Very nice update.

 

Wait, I just realised something: the title of this should be Turn your face to the suns. And it's not.

Can I ask a stupid question: did he make that connection with Yoda in the book as well, and did he use the Sarlacc, or is this your fanon?

This may be one of my favourite bits so far:
Oh, if the Obi-Wan of fifteen years ago could have heard that! Sometimes I envy that boy so sure of his convictions and place in the galaxy. And yet, he was a young, dispassionate fool who thought other life forms pathetic and beneath him. No, even with all that I have suffered, I would rather be me than him. I have learned so much, and still have more to learn. I know that now.

 

Thank you! He's got a lot of time to search

Thanks! I figured he and Yoda must have been in contact, because Yoda was "watching" Luke as well.

Thank you! Obi-Wan was quite brash and judgmental in TPM, and the years mellowed him, I think. He's been humbled by the situation with Anakin and the penance he's set for himself and is determined to do it right this time.

It's nice for Obi-Wan to have a friend in Rooh, he needs one! The sarlaccs seemed a good choice for Force energy - if as Obi-Wan says in ANH the Force is created and bound between all living things, such large creatures are bound to be small pockets of Force energy in an otherwise lifeless environment. Thanks for reading!

Thanks! Rooh's smart - she's not about to let Obi-Wan take her into danger again!

Thank you! I did really like Kenobi, and the events were recent for Obi-Wan. I talk to my dog all the time, so I think Obi-Wan would probably do the same to Rooh!

The Force Ghost question is interesting, isn't it? I'm not quite sure myself, and Obi-Wan certainly doesn't know. I think they would see and hear a great deal, if they wanted to. Ghost!Obi-Wan always knows exactly when to show up to Luke, after all...

Exactly! I think Obi-Wan is more open to new ideas and experiences than he used to be, since everything he thought he knew is now gone. Thanks for reading!

Thank you! Yes, it should be suns, but is quite deliberately Sun

The Sarlacc is my own fanon (as is that it is more difficult to access the Force on Tatooine than on other planets due to the limited life.)