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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga Twilight and Evening Bell (one-shot, OCs, Obi-Wan, Anakin)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by BrightFeather, Jan 12, 2006.

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  1. BrightFeather

    BrightFeather Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 13, 2005
    Title: Twilight and Evening Bell
    Author: BrightFeather
    Timeframe: After TPM
    Characters: Anakin, Obi-Wan, OCs
    Genre: Short Story, I think
    Disclaimer: If you think the canon characters belong to me, you're sadly mistaken. I borrowed them, hugged them, squeezed them, called them George, then gave them back like a good girl. All things Star Wars belong to George Lucas. All OCs belong to me.
    Summary: After the events of TPM, Jedi Master Hanah Kratren follows a prompting from the Force to find someone who needs some help.
    Notes: Another plot bunny that bit in the middle of the night. My thanks go to my Master, Layren, for giving this a once-over. And, as always, my super-secret beta reader, who has been kindly putting up with my toe-dips into Star Wars and looking over whatever I send her, anyway. Also thanks to Fluffy who convinced me to post this as it is. And y'all, there is still one more toddler-Hanah story planned, I just haven't gotten to it yet.

    ~*~*~*~


    ?Each of us, in the journey through mortality, will travel his own Jericho Road. What will be your experience? What will be mine? Will I fail to notice him who has fallen among thieves and requires my help? Will you? Will I be one who sees the injured and hears his plea, yet crosses to the other side? Will you? Or will I be one who sees, who hears, who pauses, and who helps? Will you??
    --Thomas S. Monson


    ~*~*~*~

    Jedi Master Hanah Kratren pushed aside the data pad she'd been working on with a sigh. She'd been attempting to finish a report for the Council on her latest mission while her padawan was in class, and been ignoring the tugs she'd been getting from the Force, but it just wouldn't be denied any longer. She tossed her long braid of sugar-brown hair over her shoulder, stood up, and left her quarters.

    Letting the Force guide her, she followed it to her old Master's favorite garden. With a bitter-sweet smile, she wound her way through the plants that he has loved so much, not as focused on the Force as she had been. She missed him. It had been decades since she'd been Knighted, but she and Qui-Gon Jinn had still shared a close relationship until his recent death. He'd been more than just her Master; he'd been the only father she'd ever known.

    Hanah frowned as she caught the sound of a muffled sob coming from what had been Master Qui-Gon's favorite spot. She walked swiftly toward it, heeding the tugs of the Force that grew stronger as she came closer. Up ahead, she spotted a bright blond head that showed up well against the bark of the tree it was under. She speeded up, then dropped to her knees beside the small child.

    The first thing she noticed was that his hair was cut into the short, spiky, traditional padawan cut, even though he didn't look more than six years old. Slowly, carefully, Hanah laid her hand on his shoulder. "What's the matter, little one?" she asked softly.

    The boy simply buried his face into his knees as his shoulders shook. Hanah rubbed his back gently, trying to lend some comfort to the child. She'd never seen him before, but considering his apparent age, it wasn't surprising. She didn't know all of the younger denizens of the Temple, and her own padawan was eighteen years old. What was surprising to her was that the youngling's Master hadn't felt his distress.

    Hanah frowned. If she'd felt the kind of pain from her padawan, Elias, that was radiating off the boy, she would have dropped everything to get to him. She stroked his hair gently. "Little one, are you all right?" she asked.

    The boy slowly raised his head to reveal big, blue eyes that were swimming in tears. As she looked at him, two big, fat tears escaped and rolled down his slender cheeks. "I shouldn't cry," he whispered with a hitch in his breath.

    Hanah reached into one of the pouches in her utility belt, pulled out a handkerchief, and handed it to the boy. "Sometimes crying makes you feel better," was her quiet answer.

    H
     
  2. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Awwww...that was so sweet.

    @};- @};- @};-

    I love how Hanah kenw just what to say and do to comfort Anakin.

    Bravo!

    =D==D= =D= =D=
     
  3. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    Very very touching. =D= Loved it.

    Good story. :)
     
  4. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Gorgeous! =D= I love stories with my two boys! [face_love]
     
  5. SakuraTsukikage

    SakuraTsukikage Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 24, 2005
    Oh, that was adorable. I love Hanah, and Anakin was adorable. My heart just went out to him. Hanah was great.

    Good job! So sweet and touching. [face_love]
     
  6. Alley_Skywalker

    Alley_Skywalker Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 2005
    "He hates me," was Anakin's morose statement.

    Without thought, Hanah kissed the top of Anakin's head. "I doubt it," was her reply. "But I'll tell you what, little one, I'll talk to that padawan-brother of mine and find out what his problem is." She hugged him again. "And I think since you were meant to be my padawan-brother, too


    Go Hanah! obi-Wan really needs an atitude check.

    This is such a sweet story :)
     
  7. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    You know how much I adore Hanah, but I'll say it again anyway :D

    Great job padawan! I love seeing stories with her in them [face_love]
     
  8. Magenta_Moonshadow

    Magenta_Moonshadow Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2005
    Awww, that was really sweet! Well done, BrightFeather!

    =D= [:D]
     
  9. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    I want a big sister like hannah! So sweet!
     
  10. Noelie

    Noelie Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2005
    I also love the newest Hanah installment.

    Ish and I had a co-worker that just left on his mission, but one thing he always wished for was a normal, down to earth female Jedi! Thank you for giving her to us.
     
  11. MoeTharen

    MoeTharen Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2005
    That was great! I loved it! Hannah is an awsome OC!




    -Commander Tharen-
     
  12. Kestrel_Kenobi

    Kestrel_Kenobi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 26, 2005
    Lovely BrightFeather...lil Anakin is so much cuter than big Anakin.
    Great job :)
     
  13. Jaira

    Jaira Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 3, 2005
    Aww! I love Hannah!
     
  14. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    Okay, I'm reviewing again because the first time through I didn't give a very good one. Sorry about that. :)

    Poor Anakin, thinking that no one wants him. Good that Hanah was there to pick him up emotionally (and bribe him with a trip!). Love Hanah.

    Again, good story. :)
     
  15. Kitten

    Kitten Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 14, 2005
    I just love your new story. It is simply fascinating how you alway come up with such wonderful ideas for fics. Its nice to see Anakin in a more cute and innocent stage.
     
  16. oqidaun

    oqidaun Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2005
    This was very nice.
    You've got a magical way of bringing your child characters to life.

    "I'm good at that 'cause Watto made me learn it so I wouldn't blow customers up by accident." I can definitely hear Anakin saying that.

    =D=
     
  17. BrentusofGath

    BrentusofGath Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 12, 2005
    =D=

    Another solid effort, sis!

    I like Hanah a lot, and it's great she cares a lot for Ani.

    Good story all around.
     
  18. Stella_Ripple

    Stella_Ripple Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 29, 2005
    Wonderfully sweet! [face_love]
    I'm so glad Ani and our ever dynamic heroine that is Hannah is forming a nice bond. Hmm, seems like Obi's at a place from where he can quite comfortably usurp Qui's title of 'buckethead'!
     
  19. Jedi_Tigris

    Jedi_Tigris Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 7, 2005
    Aww, poor Anakin thinks no one wants him. :( I love how Hanah was there to tell him otherwise, that was so sweet! [face_love] I'm sure she'll be giving Obi-Wan a talking to.

    Another wonderful piece!
     
  20. Gabri_Jade

    Gabri_Jade Fanfic Archive Editor Emeritus star 5 VIP

    Registered:
    Nov 9, 2002
    Very sweet, and an excellent depiction of how Anakin might well have felt at that point in time. :)

    "Math," he said. "I'm good at that 'cause Watto made me learn it so I wouldn't blow customers up by accident."

    [face_laugh] I love that line. Nice touch of incidental levity there. :p
     
  21. PadwanKayla

    PadwanKayla Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 2, 2005
    This is wonderful. I read about Hanah the two year old who knew Qui-Gon was hers and it's nice to see how she's grown into a caring Jedi thanks in no small part to her Master. Lovely portrayal of little Anakin. =D=
     
  22. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Great job with this. I loved how Anakin wanted to go home because no one wanted him.

    Wonderful.
     
  23. BrightFeather

    BrightFeather Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 13, 2005
    *sigh* For the fourth time, I composed a long reply to everybody and my computer crashed. So we're going with a general one this time. Sometimes, I really hate computers! Thanks for reading, y'all, and I'm glad y'all liked it and Hanah. She says that she's not happy with Obi-Wan, and that this isn't over. :D I think she's bucking for a sequel so she can tell him off. Sorry there aren't individual replies this time, but the boards and my computer haven't been cooperating!

    BrightFeather
     
  24. Mr_Dagobah

    Mr_Dagobah Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 30, 2005
    How sweet! Hannah is really a one of a kind OC, isn't she? Too bad she isn't Anakin's Master. I think she would in essence be better than Obi-Wan at it. Great work, Brightfeather!=D=
     
  25. BrightFeather

    BrightFeather Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 13, 2005
    Thank you, Mr_Dagobah! :) I created the grown-up Hanah to be a strong, capable, compassionate Jedi. I wanted at least one female Jedi character out there who isn't a witch and while she's not the best at anything, isn't the worst, either. Oh, and Hanah agrees with you. She says that if she didn't have Elias, she'd take Ani in a heartbeat.

    Bright
     
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