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Story [Twilight] Cullen Couture--Rosalie, Alice and a 1975 Spring Break--Completed 10/23

Discussion in 'Non Star Wars Fan Fiction' started by DarthIshtar, Jul 23, 2008.

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  1. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Mar 26, 2001
    Chapter 1

    Alice is difficult to describe. She has all of the hunting enthusiasm of a starved wolf and the perkiness of a cheerleader. The last time we went to college, she majored in Russian and before that in fashion design. She can go from discussing the best way to take down a bobcat to a desperate need for a manicure within the same sentence.

    In short, Alice is my sister and I dearly love her, but she is not the sort of person I would like to take on vacation.
    Edward wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea, either. He claims that unleashing the two of us on Europe is like letting a class of finger-painting six-year-olds loose in the Louvre. I wish he would give us more credit. We're not rampaging lunatics; we're just vampires with an advanced sense of style.

    Still, Carlisle was reluctant to let us leave the country without his supervision at all. Sure, it's been decades since any of us crossed any borders other than the Canadian one, but he is being extremely overprotective. I think that if Alice hadn't possessed the foresight to know what would convince him to let us go on a graduation trip, we would still be sitting in his office and he would start to get sentimental.

    Alice brought up the idea in the same way a marketing executive presents a new ad campaign. I vetoed pie charts and essays?she had a strange fascination with both during our most recent trip through high school?but she still insisted on pecking out an itinerary on the typewriter so Carlisle could see that we were serious.

    Our first argument was that it was high time that we acquainted ourselves with the world. Our second reminded him that we had been responsible adults for over five decades and could almost certainly be trusted to take care of ourselves. Our third was that last time we had graduated, he'd barely noticed. Lastly, both of us had finished with higher honors than the last time. In short, we deserved an adventure. We would even have a time limit?-all of the things in our itinerary could be crammed into spring break. Instead of hanging around Moose Head Lake or hitting the beaches near Castine as our fellow students did, we'd actually go somewhere.

    In spite of that ridiculous itinerary and the lack of pie charts, Carlisle agreed to send us to Italy on a few conditions:

    We pay our respects to the Volturi.

    We stay somewhere with easy access to hunting ranges.

    We call home every other night so Esme doesn't worry more than usual.

    We agree to a budget.

    Neither of us was happy about the first and last ones, but it was a small price to pay for what we wanted and, all things considered, Carlisle was fairly laid-back.

    Emmett rolled his eyes when we announced that we were going to spend some time with just us girls. He probably wanted to come with us as a kind of bodyguard and I rather like having him around, but the Red Sox were playing the Yankees while we'd be gone and he and Jasper would be parked in their usual seats at Fenway for the duration. Instead of demanding to know when we could have some 'just us' time, he kissed me and said he trusted me. Being married four times to the same person does that to you.

    Jasper wasn't so easy-going. He hasn't been with Alice as long and it's not that he's jealous. He just wants to make sure no one can lay a hand on her. I cajoled Emmett into getting him excited for what they could do without their old ladies around. Ironic, since Jasper's supposed to be the calmer, but sometimes, it's a case of physician heal thyself.

    Edward, always playing the older brother type, wanted to give us chastity belts for graduation until I let him into my head and reminded him of what both of us would do if we were ever unfaithful to Emmett and Jasper. He doesn't have a mate yet, so he doesn't really get it yet. I think it's a result of spending sixty years eavesdropping on teenage boys.

    Esme, on the other hand, spent most of the drive from Bangor to Boston's Logan airport in one panic or another. We'd all heard about Patty Hearst's kidnapping in 1
  2. Ceillean

    Ceillean Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Nov 13, 2001
    Finally a fic without Edward and Bella. [face_laugh] I liked this a lot.
    Having Rosalie and Alice spend an almost normal day as normal people.

    Loved it!
  3. poor yorick

    poor yorick Ex-Mod star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA VIP - Game Host

    Jun 25, 2002
    I actually don't know this series, although I've heard excellent things about it.

    As a complete n00b, I found this paragraph fantastic:

    Edward wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea, either. He claims that unleashing the two of us on Europe is like letting a class of finger-painting six-year-olds loose in the Louvre. I wish he would give us more credit. We're not rampaging lunatics; we're just vampires with an advanced sense of style.


    You'd done an excellent job of painting the character of an intelligent, observant, but rather flighty and superficial young woman. I was thinking "Heathers," really. Then the casual comment about vampirism made me do a 180--in an entirely positive, hilarious way. You might have been unraveling the opening of a particularly quirky original fic. Lovely way to start a fic aimed at fans and non-fans of this franchise. (Of books? TV episodes? I don't even know.) :p

    The characters of the teen girl (but not) vampires were also delightfully awful:

    ?Is he serious?? she hissed. ?This dress is new.?

    I'd loathe an actual teen girl with an attitude like that, but for some reason, that line is damn funny coming from a 50+ vampire.

    Also, as an old lady, I liked some of the period 70's references. :p

    One thing--you do have some HTML tags stuck in there--italic ones, specifically. Maybe do a global search and replace for the pointy brackets?

    Anyway . . . so this is "Twilight." If this is representative of the original, I can see why people like it. :)
  4. NYCitygurl

    NYCitygurl Manager Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jul 20, 2002
    Ophelia, you neeed to read it :D

    Ish, this is great!! I love your style and the way you show Alice and Rosalie. They crack me up :D

    If you've got a PM list, I'd love to be on it :D
  5. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Mar 26, 2001
    Ceillean--Sorry to disappoint you, but Bella and Edward will show up for the very last chapter. Anyway, thanks for liking it a lot!

    Ophelia--Oh, hon, you REALLY need to read this. You would love the humor. Edward and your version of Obi-Wan would be very good friends. I'm glad you liked that paragraph. And what you described is really the funny part about Alice. Rosalie is just a very hostile vampire who dresses impeccably, but that's a really long story why. One of my favorite "outtakes" of Twilight is Alice shopping with Bella, the human protagonist. It's just sort of mesmerizingly weird and like she's a normal teenager with a million-dollar credit limit. And you doing a 180 at the vampirism comment has me laughing a lot right now. I love pulling that kind of twist. :) It's a series of books that is about to end. I had fun with the '70's references, especially having new author Stephen King and such. Rosalie got gang-raped and beaten to death, turned into a vampire and then hunted down and killed the five guys who did it to her, wearing a wedding dress. So of course Carrie isn't as scary to her. The HTML stuff is fixed, thanks. I posted this as my first fic on the juried archive at Ramblings and Thoughts, so I had to copy and paste their HTML.

    Nat--Thanks! I had a lot of fun writing this because it was a historical fic mixed in with me being a Vogue addict. This is actually an already-written fic that has two more chapters, but I will let you know when I put up the next ones.
  6. mavjade

    mavjade It's so FLUFFY! Fanfic Manager star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Sep 10, 2005
    This is great Ish!!

    Alice is difficult to describe. She has all of the hunting enthusiasm of a starved wolf and the perkiness of a cheerleader.
    [face_laugh] What a perfect description of Alice!

    He claims that unleashing the two of us on Europe is like letting a class of finger-painting six-year-olds loose in the Louvre.
    LOL! I think I gotta go with Edward on this one, the thought of the two of them in Europe scares me a lot! :p

    Great job! I can't wait for more!
  7. Jedi-Ant

    Jedi-Ant Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 3, 2007
    This is great, Ish! :D =D=

    Alice is one of my favourites, and I've always thought Rosalie doesn't get nearly enough page time. :) Nice to see them both together here.

    A great way to start! And a fabulous 'fic for me to start reading non-SW fanfic. :D

    Looking forward to more. :)

  8. jedi_of_ennth

    jedi_of_ennth Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 1, 2005
    [face_laugh] This looks awesome. I love Rosalie and Alice.
  9. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Mar 26, 2001
    mavjade--Thanks, mav! Alice is very much like a friend of mine who is best described as that. Can you really blame the girls for being like that in Europe? I mean, come on! They're in their element and the real reason the Volturi are still there is so they can go to all the fashion shows. Duh! Thanks again. :)

    Jedi-Ant--Glad you enjoyed. Alice is one of my favorite characters in the books, but mostly in the fanfic. And Rosalie and I are kindred spirits in a way, but I won't go into details. :) Glad you liked them in this. It was a lot of fun to do the research for this.

    jedi_of_ennth--LOL, glad you're enjoying them.
    Chapter 2

    Alice insisted on 'sunbathing' as soon as we reached the Villa d?Este. She had a new camouflage bikini that she'd been dying to try and, according to her, this would be our last chance I grudgingly donned my blue monokini and joined her on a lounge chair.

    I had to admit that it was nice. It was too overcast for anyone in their right mind to be out by the pool. It didn't stop the guests of the male persuasion from ogling us. Since the pool was on the lake rather than on the hotel grounds, they had to go out of their way to be hormonal, but a dozen men took a detour. We heard pickup lines in six languages. but we had other things on our mind.

    ?You've got to be kidding me,? I informed my dear, misguided sister. ?I'm not going to pass up the Chanel after-party so you can go to some nobody's show!?

    ?He's not a nobody,? Alice reasoned. ?He's been working for Cerruti since the sixties and I know you approve of that.?

    Of course. When Carlisle had taken us to Paris for a friend's funeral in '68, Esme had let us drag her to Cerruti's boutique on the Rue Royale.

    Esme had ended up demurely buying a bottle of perfume, but that hadn't stopped us spending all of our souvenir money on couture.

    ?Fine,? I sniffed. ?We'll sit in the back and slip out if it turns out to be horrendous.?

    ?Come on, Rosalie,? she chided. ?It's not going to be horrendous. Give me some credit.?

    ?You want to miss the Chanel party,? I reiterated. ?If you're wrong about this guy, you owe me a dress.?

    If she was wrong about this guy, she would probably get me one of his pieces. Alice wasn't spiteful, but she had a stubborn streak when she wanted to show it.

    ?Besides,? I added. ?I've got that new de la Renta to show off and I'm not letting it go to waste.?

    The thought of that great halter dress being seen by only a couple hundred people who had the bad taste to see the womenswear line of an obscure Italian suit tailor was nauseating at best and horrifying at worst.

    ?If it's horrendous,? she mimicked me, ?we'll head back to the Chanel party after the first ten minutes.?

    That sounded too conditional, but it was probably the best that I was going to get.


    She nodded solemnly and stuck out her hand. I shook it emphatically.

    ?I've been looking forward to airing that dress out since...?

    She got that mischievous look on her face that meant she had Seen something that I wouldn't like very much. It made me trail off and look nervously at her.

    ?Don't worry,? she said airily. ?It'll be put to good use.?

    ?How do you know?? I challenged.

    All right, that was a ridiculous question. I had to cut her off before she went into a detailed description of what exactly she Knew and what she had Seen.

    ?He designs men's suits.?

    ?And does a very good job of it,? Alice countered. ?There's no reason to think that he won't do as well with women's clothing.?

    ?We'll see.?

    She ran a hand through her hair. ?I'm going in before the sun comes out,? she said.

    ?I'll tweak this list,? I said as she stood and headed for the edge of the pool. ?How long do we have??

    ?Sixteen minutes,? she replied.

    ?Good,? I said. ?We need to get going in about an hour if we want to have time for dinner.?

    We'd agreed that we'd hunt before we even went near Milan. It was safer that way and it would be much easier to focus on the fashion when we weren't thinki
  10. Handmaiden_Rabe

    Handmaiden_Rabe Jedi Master star 5

    Nov 2, 2003
    :eek: That was you? I read this on the Twilight Fan Fic Archive and thought it was funny. I actually told my mother she had to read it, and she doesn't do fan fiction at all. Wow. Ish writes Twilight fan fic. Ok, I think I'm over that now.

    I love Alice and Rosalie, and I love their interaction here. Spot on for both of them. Sorry this isn't more in depth, I'm just... Ish writes Twilight fan fic!

    (You probably don't know me. I lurk. A lot. And you actually got me to de-lurk. Give yourself a pat on the back. :p)
  11. Irish_Jedi_Jade

    Irish_Jedi_Jade Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 19, 2007
    Again, Ish, this is wonderful! You've gone twilight happy...but I can't say I complain!!! Keep it coming!!!

    [face_good_luck] Irish

    ps--as much as I love them, yes its so nice to have a non E/B fic! Kinda like, you can never have enough L/M but some hobbie/wes/wedge/rogue squadron is always more than welcome!


  12. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Mar 26, 2001
    I thought I had finished posting this a long time ago. Sorry!
    Chapter 3

    It was the first real day of Summer. The sun was shining, the temperature had skyrocketed to 80 degrees and Charlie had suggested that I celebrate with a bowl of ice cream. I suspected this was more envy than encouragement, since he would be stuck at the police station until after dark.

    Instead of giving into temptation and going to La Push to enjoy the decent weather, I was being a good girlfriend. Edward had enticed me into coming to his house and admittedly, I didn't need much enticing.

    We were currently curled up on his couch with our shoes off. I was nestled into the space between Edward's legs, my back against his chest and a photo album open on my lap.

    ?What on earth is that??

    ?A wiglet,? he identified the hairpiece. ?It was the 60's and Alice got tired of her hair. She wanted a fancy updo for prom and the closest we could manage was one of those things.?

    ?So you got her a toupee for prom,? I laughed. ?I never thought she was the type.?

    ?Not now,? Alice said from the doorway, ?but I learned my lesson.?

    ?Yes,? Edward recalled. ?She and Jasper were walking to the car and that thing got caught on a low-hanging branch. Alice didn't notice until halfway to the school that she had left half of her hairdo in a tree back home.?

    ?I thought this was the summer when we were going to get Bella to like us,? Alice protested.

    ?I like you a lot,? I rejoined. ?Seeing embarrassing pictures just helps a little.?

    In fact, I thought it was a brilliant idea. If I could see the Cullens in slightly-less-than-perfect states, it might help me feel more at home.

    The next picture in the album didn't help one bit.

    ?That picture is amazing,? I said, running one hand over the glossy print of Alice and Rosalie. ?Who took it??

    ?Some photographer from Vogue,? Alice replied casually.

    So much for less-than-perfect. I nearly dropped the album. ?You've been in Vogue?!?

    Alice grinned broadly. ?Not quite,? she corrected. ?Rose and I were on spring break in Italy and we were talking to two nice Italian men when someone took that picture.?

    I squinted at the picture, trying to identify what kind of nice Italian man would end up in a fashion magazine. ?Who exactly...?

    ?Armani's the one on my left,? she said plainly. ?Rosalie's the one talking to his boyfriend.?


    If I recognized the name, he was important. I was one of those types who couldn't remember how to say Dolce and Gabbana, much less spell it.

    ?I convinced Rosalie to go to the show in '75,? she explained. ?He'd started his own line in '74, but he didn't design for women until a year later. Rose didn't want to go in the first place, but she finally saw sense. We just happened to meet Sergio at the party afterwards.?

    That sounded exactly like something that would happen to them. One had to wonder who else they'd just happened to meet.

    ?And you just happened to be in Vogue,? I reiterated.

    Alice grinned. ?No, no, no,? she corrected. ?They ended up using a different picture entirely. Giorgio sent this along with Esme's dress by way of apology.?

    My first instinct was to say something brilliant along the lines of ?I don't believe this,? but there was no reason not to.

    Edward's arms reached around my waist and closed the album. ?Enough for now,? he suggested. ?After this, there are pictures of me in bell bottoms.?

    ?Hey,? Alice objected. ?You have to be embarrassed, too.?

    ?My room, my rules,? he rejoined.

    ?Fine,? she sniffed. ?In that case, I'll tell her why we ended up at an Armani show in the first place.?

    He laughed quietly as he kissed the spot behind my ear and pulled me closer. ?Be my guest,? he invited.

    ?Well,? Alice said with a grin, ?I Saw into Edward's future and when I saw his wedding, he was wearing an Armani suit. I thought I should take a look at what he was getting himself into.?

    I didn't think that I could look more shell-shocked, but Alice was apparently trying to see how far she could push me before I snapped
  13. NYCitygurl

    NYCitygurl Manager Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jul 20, 2002
    [face_laugh] Love it! Cute ending :)
  14. Irish_Jedi_Jade

    Irish_Jedi_Jade Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 19, 2007
    Darling ending, Ish! As always--unconventional but perfect!!! I want to hear about Edward in bell-bottoms, though!!!

    [face_good_luck] Irish
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