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Story [Twilight] Like A Bridge Over Troubled Water (pre-Twilight, H/C, tragedy: canon character and OC)

Discussion in 'Non Star Wars Fan Fiction' started by ratna, Apr 14, 2010.

  1. ratna

    ratna Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2007
    [image=http://s301.photobucket.com/albums/nn75/miaokuancha/twilight/soldiers.jpg]

    The year is 1947, and some boys are still coming home from the war.





    The blind veteran moved carefully up to the front of the bus, white cane tapping lightly at the seats on either side of the aisle. The other passengers moved their legs and bags aside, helping him pass.

    Sparing a glance in the rear-view mirror, the bus driver shook his head. Just a kid, for pity's sake. Should have had his whole life ahead of him. Like my Aaron. He focused on the road again, as the boy made his way to the strut pole at the corner to the steps. Probably not a few girls had fallen for that shock of unruly blond hair the kid had. A bit long for the service, but he'd probably not seen a proper barber since he was discharged. Damn fine figure of a boy. Though maybe in need of a month of good meals. If not for the darkened spectacles that branded him for what he was, sitting so stark there against his face ... And the pain. You could see it in the set of his mouth. The driver wondered what else had been taken from him, and how long he'd lain in a VA hospital, to be that pale.

    The boy spoke. "I'd like to get off up ahead there, mister, if it's no trouble."

    The driver glanced again to the mirror. He knew the olive drab of the worn field jacket well enough. Army. Funny that it didn't fit quite right. Maybe it had belonged to a buddy.

    "You know where we are, son?"

    "Yes, sir." The boy cracked a smile. "Right about the middle of nowhere."

    Damn if he wasn't charming as all get out.

    "Sure you don't want to get off in town?" the driver offered. There was a stop up ahead, barely visible in the pre-dawn light, but it was nothing but a sign plate in the midst of rolling fields and woods.

    "Thank you kindly, I've got family here."

    The driver doubted that. The boy's soft voice had just the hint of a south of the Mason-Dixon drawl to it. He wasn't from around here, that was certain. But he was well-spoken, and the stop was coming up quick. The bus slowed.

    "Don't see anyone here to meet you."

    "I 'spect they'll be along shortly. Not like I've got somewhere to be."

    The brakes creaked, and some of the dozing passengers jostled awake.

    "You sure about this, son?"

    "Yes, sir, I am."

    Not much more to say after that. The driver opened the door and watched the young man step down, cane tapping and leading the way. The rucksack on his back was mighty thin. Probably hadn't got more than a pair of undershorts and a toothbrush in it. But that was life, now, wasn't it?

    "There'll be another bus along here about noon, in case you've a mind to go into town."

    The boy smiled briefly, and waved in the direction of the bus driver's voice. Then the door's hydraulics hissed closed and the engine growled to life. With a hot burst of exhaust, the bus rolled away.

    The young soldier stood stock still for a long time after the bus left. He looked up at the sky at last. It was getting brighter by the minute, but was grey with cloud from horizon to horizon. Yesterday, the weather forecaster on the radio had said it would rain today. Fair enough. The bus ride had been an ordeal. He needed a place to lie down and collect himself. Form a plan. His strength was boundless, but he was tired, so tired. He turned away from the road, and started walking.

    It was almost planting time, and the waiting fields were muddy. He chose a grassy pasture at last, sharing it with a small herd of cows, who immediately crowded to the furthest corner. His dark glasses and white cane didn't mean anything to them. His smell did. When he lay down and made no move toward them for an hour or more, their lowing stopped. Thank the Lord. He wasn't ready to deal with a human just yet. He would have to, eventually. His irises were as black as pitch. But he dreaded the thing that he wanted and needed so terribly badly.

    Leaving Maria had been right. He had been ravaged beyond all endurance by the violent life she'd led him to. But being alone was its own brand of hell. The blood haze had cleared, with time,
     
  2. NYCitygurl

    NYCitygurl Manager Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2002
    This is great!! Very unique, too. I feel so bad for Christi, since she's going to die, and I wonder why she's in pain.

    Awesome job!!
     
  3. ratna

    ratna Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2007
    NYCitygurl:Thank you so much for reviewing, even if it is only because you are duty bound as a mod.

    I feel so bad for Christi, since she's going to die, and I wonder why she's in pain.

    Yes, this is why my subconscious is toying with continuing the story. Christi is not quite ready to give up the ghost. We'll see. In the mean time, thank you for stopping by.
     
  4. TheBride

    TheBride Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Oct 15, 2008
    I also would like you to write on, dear.

    [:D]

    (AzureAngel2, still on her way with her up-date sock)
     
  5. ratna

    ratna Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2007
    Dear Azure/Bride !! You are so sweet to stop by!!!

    Perhaps I am being tempted now, .... ? If it comes to me I will surely post it here, even if no where else ...
    Until then ... [:D] @};-
     
  6. TheBride

    TheBride Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Oct 15, 2008
    (Azure wearing her up-date sock)

    Oh, pretty please! Let is come to you!

    [face_batting]
     
  7. ratna

    ratna Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2007
    Dear Bride, thank you so much. A little bit of inspiration is glimmering. I want to write a few chapters before I start to post, though. Until then ... @};-
     
  8. Luna_Nightshade

    Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jan 25, 2006
    Disturbing with the thought of what was going to happen, but beautiful with all the descriptions and also Jasper's sadness at what had to happen. I love filling out Jasper--he had such a good story behind him. It was brilliant disguising him as a blind veteran so he could move around easily in public--worked so well. Let me know if you decide to continue this?
     
  9. RK_Striker_JK_5

    RK_Striker_JK_5 Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Registered:
    Jul 2, 2003
    Ooh, that is a punch to the gut. I hope you continue this. Poor Christi otherwise. Jasper's pain was well-described there.
     
  10. ratna

    ratna Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2007
    LunaNightshade Disturbing with the thought of what was going to happen, but beautiful with all the descriptions and also Jasper's sadness at what had to happen. I love filling out Jasper--he had such a good story behind him. It was brilliant disguising him as a blind veteran so he could move around easily in public--worked so well. Let me know if you decide to continue this?

    Oh you came to visit this one, too. Thank you so much! Disturbing, beautiful, sad, and you liked the disguise. My work is done. Well, not really. I am planning to continue. The next chapter is written, but I want to get a few more under way before I start to post. I will definitely PM you. Thank you for all your kind words! @};-



    RK_Striker_JK_5 Ooh, that is a punch to the gut. I hope you continue this. Poor Christi otherwise. Jasper's pain was well-described there.

    Wow, I am so thrilled to receive a review from a guy, thank you! As a woman trying to write a man's emotions I am especially happy that you feel the description was well done. Thank you so much. I am writing forward in this story. Christi is not in the ground just yet. I'd be happy to PM you when I post the next chapter, if you wish. Cheers.
     
  11. RK_Striker_JK_5

    RK_Striker_JK_5 Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Registered:
    Jul 2, 2003
    Please PM me when more gets posted.
     
  12. Paige

    Paige Jedi Knight

    Registered:
    Sep 4, 2010
    great story
     
  13. ratna

    ratna Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2007
    Paige: Thanks so much!
     
  14. Tarsier

    Tarsier Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2005
    Wow, I'm not much of a Twilight fan, but that was really, really good! Very well written. The bus driver at the beginning was great and the descriptions were beautiful throughout. And Jasper's internal struggle is heartbreaking.

    I liked where you ended it, but if you have more I'm eager to read it!