Story [Twilight] My Big Fat Vampire Wedding--Chapter 4, spoiler-free, 8/4

Discussion in 'Non Star Wars Fan Fiction' started by DarthIshtar, Jul 23, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Moderators: Mira_Jade, NYCitygurl
  1. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Author's Note: Between Chapter 27 and the Epilogue of Eclipse, enough wedding planning goes on for there to be invitations sent out. Breaking Dawn starts out a few days before the wedding. So, somewhere in there, there was a lot of wedding planning going on. For fun, I decided to do my first full-length Twilight fic on that very subject. Twilight and all its associated characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. All the designers mentioned herein belong to themselves. I own oblique references and my own twisted plot bunnies.
    *****
    Theoretically, the hard part was over. Edward had popped the question, slaughtered a few renegade vampires, put the ring on my finger, gotten Charlie?s permission and I had a dress, courtesy of Alice and a guy whose name I still couldn?t pronounce, much less spell.

    Growing up with a single mother, I had heard horror stories about every stage of the courtship. They talked about trying to get a guy to commit or the nightmare of finding a wedding gown that wouldn?t look like a meringue on steroids. Renee had told me about how it took three arguments and a verbal pre-nuptial agreement to get my grandfather to approve of Charlie, police officer or not.

    From their point of view, I had everything falling into my lap. I was marrying a man who had been getting over his fear of commitment for the last ninety years. My custom-made wedding dress haute couture fit me like a glove. The ring hadn?t even needed to be resized. Technically, by those standards, I was having the perfect wedding experience.

    Obviously, Renee and her friends had never let Alice Cullen plan their weddings. Alice, bless her frigid little heart, was determined to have everything go off without a hitch. The problem was that she had a very different idea of things that could go wrong. She thought about a tear in her Christian de la Croix evening gown. I worried that the bride?s friends and the groom?s family would decide to forget the treaty and rip each other?s throats out by the time we cut the cake.

    But Alice being Alice, I got a call from her before dawn on the day after I?d asked her to be my Maid of Honor. I couldn?t tell if she was calling that early because she actually thought it was a decent hour or if she forgot that humans actually do have to sleep.

    ?Bella,? she trilled. ?Have you picked out your wedding party yet? I?ve found fifty-five dress styles that will look good on all of your friends and I need to know what coloring I?ll be working with. And I need to know your colors??

    I turned the alarm clock towards me and glared blearily at the digital numbers.

    ?Alice,? I groaned, ?it?s before six a.m. Couldn?t you at least let the sun rise before hammering me with this sort of question??

    ?Yes,? she said impatiently, ?but I promised Sophie I?d call her back before she boarded her flight home and Paris is nine hours ahead of us.?

    It was a testament to the hour that I didn?t even bother to wonder who on earth Sophie was. It was distressing enough that my future sister-in-law was trying to coordinate bridesmaids? dresses with someone in continental Europe.

    ?I?ll call Angela when the hour?s decent,? I promised, ?but I don?t know if she?ll say??

    ?Great! We?ll come over after breakfast,? she enthused. ?Bye!?

    That left the question of who she meant by ?we.? If she dragged Edward along, I was going to threaten to elope again.

    I pulled my covers over my head and turned back to the space that Edward usually occupied. He?d been there when I fell asleep, but he?d gone out?hunting? Tracking?

    No, maybe he?d just picked up on Alice?s intentions and had headed home to nip them in the bud.

    I tried to fall asleep again for the next hour, but visions of fluffy dresses from unpronounceable designers danced in my head until I gave up and headed for the shower.

    Alice wasn?t exactly true to her word. By the time I trudged downstairs in my sweatpants and the Dartmouth t-shirt that Charlie had gotten me as a congratulations
  2. Idrelle_Miocovani Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2005
    star 6
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    This is going to be fun, Ish. :D

    PMs, by any chance? [face_batting]
  3. mavjade It's so Fluffy Fanfic & New Movies Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Sep 10, 2005
    star 5
    LOL! Poor Bella!! I don't blame her for wanting to elope with those two on the job! :p

    Your opening line was awesome (as was the rest of it :) )!! :D

    Great job Ish! I look forward to more!!
  4. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    Oh my goodness, this is absolutely hilarious!! I love it! I want to quote sooooo many parts but I'd end up uoting about half of it :p

    Just out of curiosity, which flavor of Pop Tarts does Alice tolerate? :p

    PM list on this one too please :D
  5. Jedi-Ant Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 3, 2007
    star 4
    Theoretically, the hard part was over. Edward had popped the question, slaughtered a few renegade vampires, put the ring on my finger, gotten Charlie?s permission and I had a dress, courtesy of Alice and a guy whose name I still couldn?t pronounce, much less spell.

    Brilliant opener, really fantastic!! =D= =D=

    If you're doing PM's, would you mind putting me on the list? [face_batting]

    Ant.
  6. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Idrelle_Miocovani--LOL, I certainly hope so! :) I'll put you on the PM list.

    mavjade--Alice is scary enough, but I remember the "outtake" from Stephenie's website about prom and that put the fear of God in me just reading about all those beauty products. I'm glad you liked the opening likne and the rest of it, too. Thanks!

    NYCitygurl--LOL, thanks, Nat. I had a lot of fun with this, so it's good to hear that it's quotable already. :) And Alice can only stand S'mores Pop Tarts, like me. :)

    Jedi-Ant--LOL, thanks! I'm glad it was a great opener. I'll definitely PM you.
    *****
    Angela had work at day camp the next morning, so I made sure that the committee adjourned by midnight. Of course, that meant that we left Alice and Rosalie poring over a book on bouquets, but they barely seemed to notice that we were leaving.

    It wasn?t until we had fled to the safety of the truck that Angela finally relaxed. It wasn?t that Alice and Rosalie had done anything wrong, but Angela and I were both people who could only put up with couture for so long before we needed to go out and try on some polyester.

    I turned the radio to the smooth jazz station that Edward had put as one of my presets, but kept the music low enough that we could hear each other if we wanted conversation. Angela smiled at the window and stretched her long legs out.

    We were about halfway home when she finally spoke. ?Are they always like that?? she asked.

    ?Around each other?? I clarified. ?It comes and goes. They just get very? Well, the best way to describe it is sibling rivalry.?

    ?I?ll get used to it,? she guessed.

    I loved Angela. She was an optimist at exactly the right times.

    ?Next time, I?ll bring Esme,? I offered. ?She has a calming influence on them.?

    At least Esme would have the inclination to think about the more practical things. Food for example. We had spent six hours planning and not once had Alice or Rosalie brought up the matter of a caterer. They probably figured the polite thing to do was either let the guests BYOB (Bring Your Own Bear) or have a corral at a safe distance where they could grab a quick bite to eat.

    ?She?s helped with a few fundraisers for the church,? Angela observed. ?She?s nice.?

    ?She is,? I agreed.

    We rode in silence while ?So What? by Miles Davis played on the radio. It was good to wind down the evening with someone who didn?t insist on talking every moment of the ride.

    ?I?ve got something for you,? she said as we pulled up to her house. ?Just don?t tell Alice.?

    Before I could ask what she meant by that, she reached over and set two cookies wrapped in a napkin on my leg.

    ?You?re a lifesaver,? I breathed.

    ?Bridesmaids are supposed to do everything they can to help the bride,? Angela pointed out. ?It?s the least I could do.?

    Unbuckling my seatbelt, I reached over and hugged her quickly. ?Thanks so much for doing this,? I said sincerely. ?I promise I?ll make it up to you.?

    Angela laughed at that and squeezed back. ?Next time, let?s hit a Burger King on the way over,? she suggested.

    The thought of how many sit-ups I would have to do to burn off a Whopper, Jr. nearly made me lose my appetite for the cookies. Nearly, but not quite.

    ?Hey, are you doing anything tomorrow night?? she asked.

    ?I think I can stave off Edward for another night,? I said. ?What did you have in mind??

    ?Pacific Pizza,? she said, opening the door and clambering out. ?Bring Edward. We?ll make it a double.?

    Edward was not a fan of any restaurant where most of the toppings were meat-based, but he might be willing to make an exception.

    ?Sounds like fun,? I responded. ?I?ll call you tomorrow.?

    ?Night,? she called back before closing the door.

    Charlie was still up when I got home?the game was in extra innings and he wasn?t likely to miss a chance to wait up for me, even now that I was a high school graduate. He had kindly left some leftovers for me in the fridge and by the time I finished heating them, he had turned off the game and was in the
  7. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    You're missing out on the cinnamon ones :p

    This was great!! Poor Charlie; the guy's going to be so overwhelmed :p I love the conversation between Edward and Bella (and I love the Bronte girls :D ). So cute!!
  8. mavjade It's so Fluffy Fanfic & New Movies Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Sep 10, 2005
    star 5
    Great update Ish!! =D=

    Angela and I were both people who could only put up with couture for so long before we needed to go out and try on some polyester.
    LOL! Great line!!

    They probably figured the polite thing to do was either let the guests BYOB (Bring Your Own Bear)
    [face_laugh] I just about spit tea all over my computer at this... absolutely hilarious!!

    I agree with Nat, poor Charlie! He has NO idea what is coming! :p

    I can't wait for more!!
  9. Idrelle_Miocovani Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2005
    star 6
    ?This is going to be like that, only on steroids,? I confided.

    That it is. [face_laugh] Alice and her party planning. [face_laugh]

    Loved the Edward/Bella scene and what to do about the wedding cake. [face_laugh]

    Great update, Ish!
  10. Jedi-Ant Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 3, 2007
    star 4
    Edward shrugged. ?My offer still stands,? he informed me. ?If we paid Seth Clearwater to drive us to Vegas, she wouldn?t even see it coming.?

    LOL! [face_laugh] Brilliant!! :D Edward always was a genius!!

    I also loved the part where Bella likened reading a "particular" breed of book to eating dirt, was very clever. ;) :D

    Lovely update, Ish! @};-

    Ant.
  11. Handmaiden_Rabe Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2003
    star 5
    Too much to comment on! Ok, starting now.

    Best. Opening. Line. Ever. (Slaughtering a few renegade vampires. *snicker*)

    Heeeeee! [face_laugh] Meringue on steroids. I need to remember that one.

    Why hasn?t Stephenie used this yet?! :p The perfect way to be loving and sarcastic at the same time. :D

    No. We simply must have cake. Wedding is not over until there is cake. :p

    Knowing Alice, it?s probably the latter.

    No, Bella! Ask who Sophie is! Ask! Ask!! You?re going to regret that later.

    I seriously want Alice to do my wedding. Three languages, though? (Is one of them Russian?)

    Poor Charlie. Having to deal with hyper Alice for a couple months. Hyper Alice in wedding mode. *shudder*

    I agree, Alice. Also, Pop-Tarts. [face_laugh]

    Why do I get the feeling she saw this coming? [face_thinking]

    lol. Poor Bella. This is why you should have headed out the minute he asked to Vegas. And then come back and fight renegade vampires. Without the werewolf kissing.

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Bella in a nutshell.

    Squeeeeeeeeee! [face_laugh] Who could snub Rosalie and get away with it? :eek:

    [quote=Da
  12. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    NYCitygurl--LOL, if you say so. :0) Thanks! I liked Charlie being all awkward and debonaire in his grey suit in Breaking Dawn Chapter 1, so I had to put in the bit about his suit and such. He'll be overwhelmed, but heaven help him if he lets it slip. Glad you liked the Bella/Edward. I realized in hindsight that having Bella read Jane Eyre before the wedding isn't really a good idea... At least not for optimism's sake.

    mavjade--Thanks, mav!! LOL, I'm glad you liked that line. I had fun with the BYOB (Bring your own B-type? Bring your own buffalo?) I want to see if Charlie will ever find out about his kid's vampire friends. Thanks again.

    Idrelle_Miocovani--LOL, I remembered her version of the birthday party and groaned at what a wedding would be like. :) I also had fun with the wedding cake explanation. Thanks!

    Jedi-Ant--LOL, Edward has a cool head (no pun intentional) and a bit of a mischievous streak. Glad you liked his idea of how to elope. :0) The dirt-eating conversation is based on all of the crappy stuff I've read in the name of not offending a cousin over the years. Thanks!

    Handmaiden_Rabe--Breathe and take it one post at a...oh, you did. :) LOL, most revised opening line ever. I liked throwing in the renegade vampires line. My younger sister's wedding dress...did look like a meringue on steroids. I was just too polite to tell her. I'm sure Steph has better lines than this just come to her. I just have pathetic imitations at times. :) Glad you liked it. I can picture the Volturi and the Quileute guests going at it, the humans fleeing in terror and the Denali coven sitting around and going "You know, marzipan isn't that bad." Definitely the latter. I spent several hours tracking down my copy of the issue of Vogue where I'd seen an article on Sophie Theallet because as soon as I saw her dresses, I could envision Rosalie in one of them. Probably in Russian, but this is the girl who distracted Edward with Arabic and Korean Sign Language. Three languages is limiting herself. HAIWM is very scary. Even to me. LOL, why do you laugh at the Pop-Tarts? Angela's much more intuitive. I think that if she'd eloped, Jacob would have gone to Charlie and blown Edward's vegetarian-vamp cover on the spot. Look what happened when Bella went to Italy. Well, the werewolf kissing had its functions. LOL, glad you liked the shoe convo. Nutshell, yes. You have to wonder what her version of "being snubbed" is. And he lived to tell the tale. Yes, I think Esme is most likely the former. Yay for people who recognize tie-ins! LOL, I lost 25 pounds for my wedding and what I missed most were the cookies. I'm glad you're loving this so far. Thanks!
    *****
    By the time I woke up the next morning, it was bright out. Not bright enough to promise a sunny day, but it had been an overcast day for a while. Since my alarm had been set for eight, that was worrisome.

    I rolled over and pulled the clock into view. It was after eleven and the alarm light was off. Either I had slept through it or Edward had decided to call his sisters off.

    And then I turned over again and took a good look at the rest of the room.

    My desk was still the same and the rocking chair was still crammed into the corner, but they were the only familiar things. My ladder-back chair had been replaced with some kind of ergonomic office chair that looked more at home at NASA than Forks. The rocking chair was stacked with what looked like fabric samples and my trusty desktop had vanished. In its place was a tablet PC with a webcam clamped to the top. To the left of it, where my tower should have been, was a pile of alphabetized bridal magazines. To the right was a clock that could have been counting down to doomsday for all I knew. Most alarming were the poster-sized enlargements of a wedding countdown checklist.

    I clambered out of bed, squinting at the dizzying number of steps. They appeared to be color-coded, but there were so many different colors that I had no hope of deciphering them.

    Wh
  13. Idrelle_Miocovani Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2005
    star 6
    ?Six,? she said without a hint of shame in her voice. ?Is there something about the last five hours of human sleep that turns you into the Bride of Frankenstein??

    [face_laugh]

    I cracked up at this, possibly because "Bride of Frankenstein" reminded me (for some strange reson) of the Ed D. Wood Jr. film "Bride of the Monster" instead of the actual 1935 Bride of Frankenstein film.

    [face_plain]

    ....

    Um, yeah.

    Moving along. :p

    I love Alice, though. [face_love]

    ?It has nothing to do with the number of times I?ve saved your life?? he chuckled.

    ?That?s somewhere further down the list,? I said dismissively.


    Haha, how like Bella. That's one thing she likes the ignore for sure. :p

    ?We survived first contact,? he said quietly. ?I hear it only gets easier after this.?

    We?d survived and Mike hadn?t even hit on me. It could go either way.


    Heh, come on, Bella, be a little more optomistic! :p

    Nice update, Ish! :D



  14. Handmaiden_Rabe Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2003
    star 5
    Trying to keep this smaller? we?ll see how well that works out.

    Poor poor Charlie. Everybody in this fic is poor. Except for Alice and Rose, who are having too much fun for their own good.

    Is it bad that I squeed at this? Or is it worse that I squeed because of Seth, and not because of Edward and Bella evading Alice?

    I just died laughing. Edward has a feminine side? [face_laugh]

    Having never read Danielle Steel myself, does this mean those books in my closet I got for around 10 cents each should go unread? :confused:

    What. Did. She. DO?!

    Glee! [face_laugh] I never thought of that. That they might pick up on each others? talents. :D

    *giggles madly* Oh, Alice. How I love you.

    :eek: Alice has good taste in everything. *scoffs*

    Smart choice, Mike. I knew there was a reason we liked you.

    So, does this mean Mike?s getting smarter, or getting dumber, seeing as he?s going out with Lauren, of all people?

    Yay, I?m all caught up! Hopefully these will get shorter. Maybe. We?ll see. :p

    (The scroll bar is tiny! *cries* Although, that's probably regular with your stories.)
  15. Lady_Jade Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2004
    star 4
    DarthIshtar, this is so great!!! I've been trying to find a good Twilight story, and now I have!

    I lover your portrayal of Bella and Edward; you did them perfectly! And Alice just cracks me up!! If you could put me on the PM list, that would be wonderful! :)
  16. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
  17. mavjade It's so Fluffy Fanfic & New Movies Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Sep 10, 2005
    star 5
    Another great chapter, Ish!!! =D=

    I loved the lines about the Bride of Frankinstine and the Egg McMuffin! They were both hilarious!

    Alice was just too adorably benign to honestly dislike.
    But this line... I think it sums up how/why everyone loves Alice!! :) [face_love]

    I can't wait for more!!
  18. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    I was lucky that first week. With summer in full swing, Newton's called me in occasionally for "seasonal" work. It mainly meant that I was called upon to stock shelves in the mornings or man the register while Katie arranged the more complicated displays.

    The down side was that I was usually tired by the time afternoon rolled around. On the other hand, Alice couldn't take me on any 6 a.m. road trips. She sulked a bit about this, but inevitably found a couture website to cheer her up. She and Rosalie were firm believers in the principle of retail therapy. They just had a more flexible budget with which to work.

    By Wednesday, I had settled into a comfortable sort of routine that allowed me to get out of the house without having to endure too much bridal torture. It couldn?t last long, which was why I was not surprised in the least to hear from Alice that evening.

    ?You need something to wear to the barbecue,? she announced. ?Would you like to do this the easy way or the hard way??

    It was amazing how someone so genial could make me feel nauseated and weak in the knees in the space of two sentences.

    ?The easy way,? I informed her. ?I was going to wear jeans and a t-shirt.?

    ?Over my mutilated and torched body,? Alice said calmly. ?Everyone will be staring at you. You don?t want to look ordinary, do you??

    I was, by this time, very familiar with Alice?s version of rhetorical questions. I stayed silent until she continued.

    ?The easy way is that you let me buy you something appropriate,? she informed me. ?I?m going to San Francisco tomorrow?it?s going to be foggy?and I could pick something tasteful out for you there.?

    ?And the hard way?? I asked, almost positive that I didn?t want to know the answer.

    ?Rosalie picks you up tomorrow morning and you spend the entire day trying to find something that she approves of.?

    My mouth went dry. Rosalie had more exacting demands when it came to fashion. She refused to buy something if she didn?t know the designer personally and thought that anything designed in the continental United States was an abomination. She had already told me twice how much she disapproved of Alice getting me something from Lord and Taylor for graduation.

    ?Can?t I just find something on my own?? I asked.

    ?Absolutely not,? Alice replied firmly. ?If it were up to you, you would wear that godawful khaki skirt and a button-down.?

    ?You wear button-downs,? I pointed out.

    ?Yes, but this is your party,? Alice insisted. ?Now, we need to buy it tomorrow so we have time to redesign your manicure?s color scheme if we need it??

    ?It?s a barbecue,? I burst out. ?I?m not getting my nails done so I can gunk them up with hot dogs!?

    ?Do you want people admiring your ring and cringing at your gnawed-off fingernails?? she challenged.

    ?These people are from Forks. They won?t care if I bite my nails.?

    ?You?re getting off-topic,? Alice accused brusquely. ?Are you doing this the easy way or the hard way??

    I was absolutely torn. I had promised Edward that I would behave myself and had resolved that I wouldn?t alienate either of his sisters. In either case, I would undoubtedly do something to offend them.

    ?Can we come to a compromise?? I begged. ?For Charlie?s sake, for my sake??

    For heaven?s sake!

    ?What sort of compromise?? Alice asked.

    ?Angela and I will come with you and we?ll help you pick the dress out at a store in-state,? I proposed. ?Otherwise, I?ll get Emmett to take me to the Port Angeles Wal-Mart and we?ll find something nice that will go with my sneakers.?

    I could practically hear Alice flinch. If I had threatened to do the same with Jasper, she would have been more comfortable?he could be given instructions?but Emmett got a kick out of teasing his sister. He would go along with my nefarious plots.

    ?Call Angela,? she requested. ?See if she can get the day off to go to the Macy?s in Silverdale. If she needs to keep this trip under eight hours, there is no compromise.?

    She was w
  19. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    Awesome chapter :D Poor Bella :p I'm curious about where Edward's taking her for the honeymoon.
  20. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Have you not read Breaking Dawn yet?
  21. mavjade It's so Fluffy Fanfic & New Movies Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Sep 10, 2005
    star 5
    I've read Breaking Dawn... it was awesome, as expected! :D

    Great chapter Ish!! =D=

    ?And the hard way?? I asked, almost positive that I didn?t want to know the answer.
    ?Rosalie picks you up tomorrow morning and you spend the entire day trying to find something that she approves of.?

    *wince* Ouch!

    ?Otherwise, I?ll get Emmett to take me to the Port Angeles Wal-Mart and we?ll find something nice that will go with my sneakers.?
    [face_laugh] Touché!

    I also loved the comment about their honeymoon being on planet Earth!! LOL!!

    Your doing the Alice tortures Bella so well!! :)
    I can't wait to read more!
  22. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    The "something that goes with my sneakers" is an homage to my own wedding. I was trying to find good shoes for the honeymoon and my mom suggested that I get some tennis shoes. I actually found a pair that looked great with my huge wedding dress. I'm the only person I know who has worn Nike to their wedding.
  23. Jedi-Ant Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 3, 2007
    star 4
    ?Hey, Ang,? I said under my breath. ?Did you pray this morning??

    ?I did,? she replied with a smile. ?For safety and good spirits.?

    That was Angela?s usual fare for trips. I grinned and nudged her with my shoulder.

    ?Can you add sanity??

    ?Already done,? she assured me.


    LOL! [face_laugh] :_| [face_laugh]

    Oh, Alice is just hilarious!! :D You really do her character justice, she's so great! [face_love]

    LOL @ shopping with Rosalie. [face_laugh] :p

    And I don't think I've mentioned it before, but I love that you have Angela so involved in your story. :) She was always one of my favourite "normal human" characters in the books, so sweet and considerate. It's great she's along for the ride as well.

    Another tremendous update! =D= I thoroughly enjoyed it. :D

    I'm glad it's spoiler free so far, too.. I've not read Breaking Dawn yet, damn bookstore "forgot" to put my name down on the pre-order list and they've sold out. :( :_|

    Anyway, thanks for the PM. :) Looking forward to more.

    Ant.
  24. Idrelle_Miocovani Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2005
    star 6
    Thanks for making it spoiler free! :D And I might be getting my copy of BD tomorrow! [face_dancing] Finally!

    ?Rosalie picks you up tomorrow morning and you spend the entire day trying to find something that she approves of.?

    My mouth went dry. Rosalie had more exacting demands when it came to fashion. She refused to buy something if she didn?t know the designer personally and thought that anything designed in the continental United States was an abomination. She had already told me twice how much she disapproved of Alice getting me something from Lord and Taylor for graduation.


    [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    ?Can?t I just find something on my own?? I asked.

    Come on, Bella, you should know the answer to that already. :p

    ?These people are from Forks. They won?t care if I bite my nails.?

    As a nail biter (I know it's bad :p ), I agree with Bella. ;)

    ?Angela and I will come with you and we?ll help you pick the dress out at a store in-state,? I proposed. ?Otherwise, I?ll get Emmett to take me to the Port Angeles Wal-Mart and we?ll find something nice that will go with my sneakers.?

    Ooh, good Bella. I like that plan. :p And Alice can probably see that she'll get away with it. ;)

    ?You must really trust him,? she observed.

    [face_laugh]

    Oh, the irony. *shakes head* Too bad Ange has no idea, I really do like her.

    Great update, Ish! :D

  25. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Backyard barbecues in the Swan family are more entertainment than event. From what I could remember of them, Charlie's talent for turning calories into charcoal always extended to hamburgers, a hot dog invariably nosedived into the charcoal briquettes and I tended to misjudge the need for lighter fluid. He had last held one to the horror and trepidation of the Cullen family the summer after my ?accident? in Phoenix. Charlie couldn?t have known what he was asking them to do, since they avoided human food even when it was decently cooked, but he had wanted to thank them for their help.

    This time, though, the Cullens came prepared with a game plan. Alice had wanted to diagram it as a football coach would diagram a play, but we had intervened in time. The metaphor was particularly appropriate, since this was going to have to be a team effort. In effect, it went something like this:

    Step 1: Isolate the prey with guy talk

    Step 2: Swipe his spatula from the pocket of his Kiss the Ch(i)ef apron

    Step 3: Have Alice corner him for conversation while

    Step 4: Jasper and Edward rescue the food

    Step 5: Charlie becomes distracted by the manly coolness of his future son-in-law and has a bonding moment with Carlisle.


    I was initially dubious--who entrusts the cooking for a party to a bunch of people who think human food is disgusting anyway? Edward kindly persuaded me to see reason once Charlie announced his intention to try shish-kabobs. I was not letting him anywhere near little pointy sticks and open flames.

    The day of the party dawned overcast but relatively dry. That pleased Charlie--he hated barbecuing in the heat--and explained why Alice had decided to show a little skin. Not wanting to upstage me, she'd decided on a blue Ralph Lauren tennis dress instead of something long-sleeved and dramatic.

    Alice had mercifully let me sleep in until eleven, but I had strict instructions to be ready for kidnapping at twelve. That itself was both worrisome and a contradiction in terms, but Alice had managed to go for the rest of the week without haranguing me for my lack of fashion sense. I was going to reward her by being her Bella Barbie for the day.

    Charlie had already left for the day before I got downstairs, but he left a sternly-worded reminder to be back no later than five o'clock for the party. He probably wanted me to help set things up, but it didn't take Alice to foresee a Cullen/Hale intervention.

    I was about to leave when the phone rang. I immediately set my purse down and picked it up with a sigh.

    "Hello?"

    "Bella," Mike said, "hey."

    "Hi, Mike."

    It had been weeks since Mike called me--between his involvement with Lauren and Edward's tendency to monopolize my time, we didn't really talk much outside of work--but he sounded nervous.

    "What's up?"

    "Um, well, I was wondering if it was okay if I brought Lauren," he mumbled.

    "Instead of Jessica?" I blurted in something of a panic.

    "No, no," he said quickly. "I talked to Ben and he and Angela can bring her, but, well, I mean...You know how it is."

    It almost sounded as if he were trying to apologize for having feelings towards Lauren Mallory. What I wanted to say was "over my dead and festering body," but what came out was entirely different.

    "The more the merrier," I said cheerfully.

    "Thanks, Bella!" Mike enthused. "See you there!"

    Alice honked from the driveway as soon as I hung up. That was one of the problems with having a psychic sister-in-law--she always had perfect timing. I slung my purse over my shoulder with the attitude of someone gearing up for war and headed out to meet her.

    "Lauren Mallory's coming," I announced in lieu of a greeting.

    "I know," she said with a grimace. "She and Mike had a fight this morning because she thinks Jessica's trying to win him back."

    "Is Jessica trying?" I challenged.

    "You'd have to ask Edward," Alice sighed, accelerating. "All I saw was Jessica and Lauren trying to out-ignore each other."

    I groaned and tipped my head back until it rested against
Moderators: Mira_Jade, NYCitygurl
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.