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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga - Legends Two Girls and a Man in Red (OCs, Fanon Roulette challenge)—author's (very belated) thanks

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Findswoman , Apr 30, 2016.

  1. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    So, I have never seen you leave a comment before (other than that little guess on my story in 2015) and now, that you did, I quite like it. :) You give all the respect to the author, you speculate and you do it right. Hope to see more of that in the future. :)

    Also, the implication that it was a suicide terrorist attack...I am now ashamed that I didn't think of it! [face_blush]
     
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  2. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Wow, Pandora, thank you so much for that fantastic and in-depth review, and for taking the time to read this little thing of mine—and of course I'd be remiss not to thank you also for the excellent telbun fanon you created and posted, which is the reason for the existence of this story in the first place.

    The duality between the bright-pink-and-fluffy preteen humor and the darker, more serious plight of the telbun was something I wanted to explore in this story from the start. Those "tween" years of about 11 to 12 is pretty much exactly what I had in mind for the age of these two charcaters, and interpersonal interactions at that age tend to have kind of a fraught, dark side to them anyway—and when there are also things like breeder-slave-nannies (mannies?) in the picture, how can it not be more so?

    With this Mumsy Dearest my aim was sort of to explore the darker side of the "absentee mother" trope so often encountered in children's literature, which also seemed to fit with the culture of breeder-slave-nannies. In Kay Thompson's Eloise books, for example, Eloise's mother never appears, though Eloise mentions her again and again—usually bragging about something about her that she apparently thinks her readers should find ritzy or cool, like "My mother is 30 [Eloise is 6] and has a charge account at Bergdorf's... she wears a 3½ shoe" or "My mother knows Coco Chanel"—but when you come across lines like "Sometimes my mother goes to Virginia with her lawyer," how can that not raise some small red flag? That general principle, taken up to ten if not eleven, is what I'm trying to get at here, with the private vacation home on Chandrila and the "hanging out" and the "Byblos summit thing."

    Eloise lives with a nanny, too (named just "Nanny"), though they have a much closer and more loving relationship than her half-namesake here does; you're right that this is indeed probably more the norm for this sort of relationship than what Talloïse has with her telbun, and that Talloïse likely did learn it from example. But whose example: her mother's? Her society's? Perhaps both/and? I kind of saw that as a side effect of the enforced invisibility of telbuns: they're supposed to be treated as if they're not there at all, and being treated like dirt is the unfortunate but oh-so-human next step from that. (Eloise's Nanny, in contrast, is anything but invisible; she's big and loud and dramatic, says everything three times—"Eloise, you cawn't cawn't cawn't—and "wears tissue paper in her dress and you can hear it.").

    This is something I kind of waffled about in the course of writing this story. I suppose I went the route I did because I feared it might show too much maturity on Soozoo's part if she broke off with Talloïse just after this one visit; she's just a preteen, after all. Ewok Poet said that she was the only person in the story who had learned anything from this, and perhaps she is, but she's still young and isn't necessarily going to learn the whole lesson right away; indeed, at her age, the razzle-dazzle of Talloïse's ritzy lifestyle still might win out over any others scruples she might have (it almost was for me at that same age, too). But Soozoo's still got time to learn about these things—and if, once The Bounty Is Right is over, she ends up finding out more about the bombing of the Chandrila villa, it may well start planting some second thoughts in her head.

    One could almost argue that Talloïse has been raised not to learn this kind of lesson about people—that too would seem to follow logically from a system in which the class of people tasked with raising the next generation are also supposed to be invisible nonentities. And how can an invisible nonentity have such thing as a culture? (That's Talloïse's thought process, not mine. :p )

    Well, the telbun's use of the word "slave" in this case was supposed to be more of a euphemism: he's basically going to be the boy-toy that Mistress Dearest (I like your monikers for her! :D ) keeps on hand at her Chandrila vacation villa in case she gets bored out there. He just didn't want to express it in quite those terms to his preteen interlocutor. And if he's kept invisible enough—I doubt he'd be allowed to leave the villa much—who's to say the locals would be aware of his presence at all?

    It would be fantastic if you wrote up a fanon post about Pallas! I was definitely very intrigued by the little I read about them in your post, and anti-canon or canon, I can certainly see an organization like that being "a thing" in a society like Kuat. I could also see non-Kuatis knowing about the telbun phenomenon mostly (or only) in connection with a resistance organization of that sort, which is of course Diva Marquisha's thought process the moment her daughter texts her about a telbun. (Note too that it takes an offworlder's chance intervention to set the telbun up with the right contact—though in many ways he's the perfect case for Pallas, he himself is so mired in hopelessness and futility that I doubt he would be able to take the initiative on that himself.)

    OK, this next paragraph I'm going to take bit by bit:

    This sort of thing is why I just adore my readers—because the possibility of this being a suicide bombing (or, rather, the possibility of writing this unambiguously as a suicide bombing) didn't occur to me at all while I was writing this. But now that both you and Ewok Poet mention it, I can certainly see where that could be a possibility. It's one of those things I'll leave up to the readers' interpretations.

    Yes to both, almost certainly. What would be the point of such a thing otherwise? (Again, that's his viewpoint, not mine. :p )

    That is indeed the rub, or one of the rubs. As I remarked above, this whole incident is almost certainly going to have an effect on Talloïse, because its target was her mom. On one hand, it's an immensely scary thing as a kid to have a parent incapacitated—I remember my mom having to go to the hospital for an operation when I was around 10 or 11, and though it wasn't life-threatening at all for her it was still really scary for me. On the other hand, this could well be the beginning of her learning some of the truth about this man who took care of her almost all her young life long. That, too, I'll leave up to my readers!

    Thanks! Again, it did indeed start out as extra color just for fun, but in the course of writing I decided to go the "food as connection to culture" route. Plus, it was fun to have another go at writing earlybird-obi-wan 's Dunai species, in a whole different kind of setting.

    You are very welcome indeed, and thank you once again, both for taking the time to read and review so thoroughly, and for coming up with this fanon in the first place. I really enjoyed delving into your fanon—do keep it coming!

    Ah, now, that would be a very cool story indeed! Sounds like the perfect complement to Soozoo's hair, too. :D

    Many thanks once again! @};-
     
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  3. Kahara

    Kahara FFoF Hostess Extraordinaire star 4 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2001
    (I already read to the end, so this contains some spoilers.)

    1

    Really liked the introduction to the three title characters; it makes for an interesting and mysterious image. The two girls, act more or less like you'd expect for their age group, but then you also have this silent figure in red. And he really does seem a bit like the eccentric, oddly-dressed characters that are pretty common in children's stories. I like how that "sort of like a children's book" theme continues throughout, even as we find out that things are much more complicated and painful. It's an interesting contrast of realities, since we have Soozoo the outsider (who maybe sees with fewer blinders but can't grasp the intricacies), Talloïse the star of the universe and protagonist of the story (in her own mind, anyway!), and the telbun, who is so separated from his child that they might as well live on different worlds.

    It's definitely a bit of a culture clash for Soozoo and Talloïse here. [face_thinking] Talloïse probably never gave her telbun a moment's thought before (at least that's the impression she gives) and her harsh response to Soozoo's inquiries is a first sign that her Kuati paradise isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Meanwhile, Soozoo is surprised at the idea that her friend's family has servants -- she doesn't know half of it yet.

    Caught this one on the re-read and after seeing comments, though I remembered some later Dunai food mentions. It's unfortunate that Talloïse probably never thinks to wonder why her telbun has so much fondness for Dunai cooking. Since the telbun isn't allowed to speak much, it seems like this is very much a parent's caring for his daughter -- all these things like a meal and various other acts of kindness that she just thinks of as invisible servant's work. :(
     
  4. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Oh gosh, how did I manage to not respond to this? :eek: Really sorry—here goes for real!

    Thanks! I'm glad the "sort of like a children's book" dynamic worked well; that was sort of the direction things started to take once I got underway writing, well, children. And I felt the telbun fanon lent itself well to that, and especially toward what one might call a "fractured children's book" approach: here you have this class of people who on one hand are closely connected with children (like Eloise's Nanny in the Kay Thompson books), but who on the other hand are part of this darker culture of (sex) slavery, and are thus in a way spanning two different worlds. Talloïse has (at least at this point in her life) no notion of that other world, so it really is as if she and he are from a different planets. But to her, her own cultural "planet" is the only important one, of course! And to Soozoo it's all kind of dazzling and overwhelming on one hand, but her outsider position does allow her to pick up on more, at least in certain ways.

    Yep, the fractures do tend to show themselves pretty early in a situation like this. Talloïse has probably never before gotten the kind of questions Soozoo is asking her about her life and culture; her friends on Kuat all have the same sort of life she does, servants (and telbuns and absentee parents) included, so she's come to regard it as just "the way things are," with no concept that things could be different elsewhere. And in a way, Soozoo's situation is similar—she probably doesn't have any friends back on Nal Hutta who have servants themselves (though note that she and her mother are themselves members of the servant class, since Marquisha is part of Great Bonvika's staff).

    Yep, again, that's how it turned out—it started as just something fun to add for color (and to get the other fanon element in ;) ), and grew to become part and parcel of the telbun's life and plight. Since this is one of the only ways he gets to experience anything like a culture of his own, it's also one of the only ways he can share that culture with those he loves—or rather, with the only person he loves, namely, his daughter. (Aw, you got me all choked up now! :_| )

    Thanks, as always, for your thoughtful and in-depth comments—they are always a daymaker! @};-
     
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  5. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    This is something I meant to say a while ago, before the end of awards, but didn't get around to with one thing and another: a big THANK YOU to all who nominated this story for the fanfic awards in the categories of Best Legends and Best Multi-Chapter Short story. This story didn't end up winning in those categories, but even just being nominated was a huge honor, and it was a very pleasant surprise when I first found out. So thank you all, once again, for your readership and support—this is why I love this place! :D @};-
     
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  6. Vek Talis

    Vek Talis Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 2018
    Yippee! You’re here! We’re going to have so much fun!

    Excited much? o_O


    “Why’s it matter?” The Kuati girl crossed her arms.

    Of course the peasants and serfs and slaves don't matter. Where have you been Soozoo? :rolleyes:


    My mom owns the biggest holocommunications company on Kuat! Like, duh!”

    OMG, my mom, like, she like owns plenty of people! How can you be so dense Soozoo? :p


    “Shhh!” Talloïse hissed at her friend

    Don't talk to the help... OMG!


    “Sorry.” The Theelin girl shrugged. “I just wondered.”

    Wondering is for telbuns. If you want to become one, I'm sure your friend could arrange it. :D


    Chapter 2

    Besides riding flitter-coasters, gravwheels, and gigglywhirls of all sizes

    Those names gave me a giggle fit. [face_rofl]


    We’re off to Hyperspace Mountain!

    Hey, when did we get to Disna-tron-land? :confused:


    How could her friend be so mean to her just for wanting to know more about a servant, for Force’s sake?

    Rich, important people like to keep their servants at more than arm's length so they can feel superior and SOO much more important. DUH! :D


    Why, who . . . who was your . . . first child?

    At least there's SOME benefit to being the telbun. [face_mischief]



    Excellent so far! :)
     
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  7. Vek Talis

    Vek Talis Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 2018
    “Oh Diva Marquisha dahling, will you please open a comm channel to the Bounty Hunters’ Guild?” and “Oh, thank you so much, Diva Marquisha dahling—that munitions shipment for Embra looks simply mahvelous.”

    Are you sure it's not Zsa Zsa the Hutt? o_O


    PALLAS

    On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door... [face_poe]


    The Bounty Is Right was on.

    With Bob Barkogran? I love that show. :p


    Excellent ending to a cute fic... DUH! :D
     
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  8. Oddly_Salacious

    Oddly_Salacious Jedi Grand Master star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 5, 2005
    A great character-driven story that involves some rich world building imagery. Very nice!
     
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