Before Two Grumpy Jedi--Qui/Obi JA viggie-author replies 8/22

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Bastet, Jun 16, 2005.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Here we have a JA era vignette, featuring a disgruntled Qui-Gon and a petulant fourteen-year-old Obi-Wan. There?s some mush in there too if you look hard enough.

    Oh yeah, and Lucas and co. own them, not me. Too bad. (But that doesn?t stop Obi-Wan from being my precioussss. :))

    Two Grumpy Jedi

    Qui-Gon couldn?t believe this. This was the absolute worst mission he had ever been on. Well, so far, anyway. Ever since they arrived here on Creon IV, they had dealt with nothing but squabbling dignitaries, arrogant ambassadors, incompetent security forces, and rioting citizens. But now, after over six weeks of exhaustive almost non-stop negotiations, they were finally ready to leave. And the only transport left that was still space-worthy was completely full.

    ?I?m sorry, Master Jinn,? the transport conductor said, a bit nervously. He was still a kid, probably in his late teens, judging by the fact that he still had acne. ?I suppose I could ask someone if they?d be willing to give up their cabin for you??

    ?No, no, that?s alright,? Qui-Gon sighed tiredly. ?Do you have any idea when another transport will become available??

    ?I?m afraid not. It could take weeks to repair the other ships.?

    ?And long range communications are still down??

    The pimply conductor nodded. ?What about the ship you arrived on?? he asked.

    Qui-Gon shook his head in frustration. ?It blew up, somehow, during the riots.? He didn?t want to spend another minute on this wretched planet, and now it looked like they would be stuck here for Force only knew how much longer. The Jedi Master looked over at his Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and saw that the boy felt the same way he did.

    Turning back to the conductor, Qui-Gon tried again. ?You?re absolutely certain there?s no space left? Please, anything will do.?

    ?Well?? the young man started again, looking embarrassed. ?There is something, maybe, but it?s hardly suited for Jedi.?

    Qui-Gon had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. ?There?s no need to worry about that. Jedi are not concerned with material comforts. We don?t care if all you have is a utility closet, we just want to get off this planet as soon as possible. Please.?

    ?Um, alright,? the conductor finally agreed. ?If you?ll please wait here for a minute, I?ll make the necessary arrangements.?

    While the conductor hurried off, Qui-Gon turned back to his apprentice, who didn?t look too happy. ?Force, Master, I hope it?s not a utility closet,? Obi-Wan began. ?You may not care about material comfort, but I?d really like a nice, soft bed right about now. Ever since mine caught fire during the riots, and you made me sleep on the floor rather than request new quarters, I haven?t had a decent night?s sleep.?

    Qui-Gon didn?t like Obi-Wan?s tone. ?We had enough to deal with already, Padawan, considering even the trouble we went through every morning just to get breakfast. Now, would you rather stay here on the planet?? he all but snapped.

    ?No Master, of course not,? the young Jedi all but snapped back. ?I?m just tired. Sorry.? He didn?t sound very convincing, but Qui-Gon decided to let the matter drop. He didn?t feel much like lecturing right now.

    The two Jedi lapsed into a somewhat uneasy silence while they waited for the conductor to return. While Obi-Wan occupied himself playing with a loose thread on his robe, Qui-Gon spent the time trying to re-center himself in the Force. It was rather difficult, since images of the brawls that kept breaking out during the so-called negotiations kept popping into his head. What was wrong with those people, anyway? The Jedi Master had had better success reasoning with brick walls than that lot. No wonder their government had been ready to fall apart. And Force only knew how long the current ?new-found peace? would last. As long as they didn?t need to call the Jedi back in- Qui-Gon would rather spend a month listening to Council lectures than end up back here.

    Finally, the conductor returned. ?Well, we?ve found a place for you, but I
  2. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
  3. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Great work!! Loved it! The pushing Qui off the cot and then feeling guilty about it the next morn! Qui starting to do the same but stopped. Awww mush indeed [face_love]

    Well done!
  4. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    That was very sweet and funny. Great job. =D= Definitely not cringe-inducing! :)
  5. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    Hah! No cringing allowed. That was really nice - Obi-Wan pushing Qui off the cot, and then mumbling in his sleep...and then Qui realising what went wrong :). Nice work!
  6. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    [face_love] [face_love] [face_love] [face_love] [face_love]

    Oh, that was truly wonderful! I loved it! Nope, no cringing allowed. And the next time you have a bunny, let it out a little sooner! The first part was funny, though I really sympathized with our favorite Jedi. What a horrible mission! And what a horrible room! Even Jedi have their limits, it seems. Sweet that it would be Obi-Wan's instinctive desire to protect his Master that brought Qui-Gon back from the edge, and also appopriate that it would be Qui-Gon who finally found the time to meditate and bring himself back on an even keel. That's our calm, serene Jedi Master.

    Didn't have to look too far for the mush, after all. Great job!
  7. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4

    It was funny I found my self chuckling
    when he pushed Qui-Gon off

    well done;)
  8. Jedi_Tigris Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2005
    star 4
    [face_laugh] Very sweet! Funny to have two grumpy Jedi snapping at each other. Love how both felt guilty about how they were acting. I laughed at the pushing off the bed. Nice job! :)
  9. Geddo Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 5, 2005
    That was fantastic :eek:. I really loved that piece ;) Good job
  10. Lumi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2004
    Sweet and funny!:)
    Wonderfull story!!
  11. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Bastet??? The Bastest??? How the heck are you and welcome back!! It is a real treat to see both you and JA here on the boards. I hope this is only the start of much more to come! :D :D
  12. sheleigh Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 31, 2002
    star 4
    Oh, how wonderful! [face_love]

    Lovely, Bastet!
  13. LadyPadme Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2002
    star 5


    I can't believe that you apologized or worried over the length of this vignette! I could have kept on reading on and on! It was a very wonderfully rendered slice of life and just shows beautifully the relationship between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan and shows how they really were like father and son.

    And...five years that was rolling around in your mind? I'm so glad you decided to share!
  14. LilQui-Gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 2
    Wh did you think this story is horrible? I love this viggie. You should give that bunny a carrot! :D :D :D
  15. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww that was absolutely lovely! Poor Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan ...so wonderful that they finally realized that comforts really don't matter after being pushed off the cot and sleeping in cramped quarters ;)


    Like the rest I echo -- why did you worry!? This is wonderful work! =D==D==D=
  16. PadawanEstel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 23, 2004
    star 1
    =D= Cute! Loved how Obi-Wan's dreaming of protecting his Master...

    And the flying chairs... lol!

    5 years? :eek: Got any other bunnies hidden away in their cages?
  17. Lady_Snow_Kaguya Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2005
    star 1
    =D= very cute! LOL. I adore the mental image of Obi shoving his master off the cot XD. I recommend freeing some of your other bunnies! xD
  18. JediVeloJinn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 23, 2003
    star 1
    A quick message to say that I could really imagine Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. They were both very much like real people. In fact, they remind me of myself in a (mildly) bad mood.
    My bad moods can get a lot worse :p

    I liked how Qui-Gon was about to give a lecture to Obi-Wan, as soon as he felt like giving it. I know what that feels like.

    great vignette, Bastet


    ~Velo
  19. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Good Heavens- an author I haven't seen around in years. Thanks for the lovely mush fix :)
  20. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Wow! I wasn't expecting to get 18 replies in three days! I love you guys! Thank you! [:D]

    VaderLVR64- Perfection, huh? That's high praise indeed, thanks! :)

    Kynstar- I'm glad you liked the mush. I was originally gonna have Qui push Obi off too, but I decided he would have better control of himself than that, he is a Jedi master after all. And this way we got more mush.

    LuvEwan- That was very sweet and funny. Great job. Thank you! And don't worry, I'm not cringing anymore.

    Princess Arumolzhi- That was really nice - Obi-Wan pushing Qui off the cot, and then mumbling in his sleep...and then Qui realising what went wrong - Thanks! That scene came to me in a flash of inspiration, I'm glad so many people liked it!

    maychorian- Oh, that was truly wonderful! I loved it!- Thanks! I'm glad you liked how Qui-Gon came to his senses first because of Obi-Wan wanting to protect him even in his sleep. I love it when I have flashes of mushy inspiration like that. That's our calm, serene Jedi Master.- Yes, indeed! :)

    Gkilkenny- It was funny I found my self chuckling when he pushed Qui-Gon off - Poor boy didn't mean to, it was an accident, honest. ;) well done -Thank you!

    Jedi Tigris- Love how both felt guilty about how they were acting. - Thanks! It was a good way to set up the mush, eh?

    Geddo- That was fantastic - Ooh, thank you! :D

    Lumi- Wonderfull story!! - Thank you, I'm glad you thought so! :D

    Healer Leona- Eh, heh. *laughs nervously* You remember me, eh? I remember you too, I was surprised when I came back on here to see that you are a manager now, that's awesome! Thanks for the welcome back! I'm glad you liked my story! :D

    sheleigh- Lovely, Bastet! - Thank you!! [face_love]

    LadyPadme- I can't believe that you apologized or worried over the length of this vignette!- Well, you know, I didn't know how well people were going to like it, I've never written a vignette before. I'm glad you liked it, thanks!
    And...five years that was rolling around in your mind? I'm so glad you decided to share! - Well, not exactly, I really did forget all about it for about four years, and then about the time I read the ROTS novel it attacked me and everything came flooding back. I have to admit I actually forsook Star Wars for a little while, not completely, of course, but to the point where I didn't visit tF.n or play with fanfiction (lack of computer and time made it difficult, anyway), and that was the main problem. Shame on me! :(

    LilQui-Gon- You should give that bunny a carrot!- Don't worry, I did. He's currently residing in a bunny mansion with a pool and a life-time supply of carrots. Thanks for reading my story, I'm glad you liked it!

    Layren- Like the rest I echo -- why did you worry!? This is wonderful work! - Thank you!! And yeah, I worry too much, it runs in the family.

    PadawanEstel- Got any other bunnies hidden away in their cages?- Well, sort of. When they all attacked me, none of the other bunnies bit me hard enough to reveal a full plot, so I had to wrestle them back in their cages until they got bigger. But don't worry, I took them out of the dark closet they had been stored in and am feeding them now, so hopefully they'll grow quickly. Thanks for reading my story! :)

    Lady_Snow_Kaguya- I adore the mental image of Obi shoving his master off the cot- Hee hee, me too! That was one of the few original elements of this story that survived all these years. And don't worry, I'm working on freeing some of the other bunnies, but they're not being very cooperative right now, unfortunately.

    Jedi Velo Jinn- A quick message to say that I could really imagine Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. They were both very much like real people. In fact, they remind me of myself in a (mildly) bad mood.- Wow, thanks! I was worried they would
  21. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2002
    star 5
  22. Geddo Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 5, 2005
    Absolutly brilliant :eek:. I loved the hole thing of Qui and Obi. And I'm also a big Obi fan, what a coincidence :p.



  23. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    ?Run away, run away!?

    Anyone who quotes that line gets points from me. :p

    [face_laugh] This was great. Even the mush wasn't overbearing - just enough, and it felt like a typical parent/child relationship. Obi-Wan pushing Qui-Gon off the bed was really funny, though I laughed even more when Qui-Gon wanted to return the gesture. [face_laugh]

    And it reminded me of Obi-Wan and Anakin, too, especially the beginning - the way they were frustrated and were taking it out on each other.
  24. meg_an2006 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 4, 2005
    LOL, this story was great! I loved Obi-Wan's reaction after he pushed Qui-Gon off the bed! Funny and cute!
  25. Jedi Obi-Wan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2000
    star 3
    That was hilarious!! [face_laugh] I really enjoyed it. You write the boys, especially Obi-Wan, very well!
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.