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Saga Ultimate Betrayal....... Lurker Appreciation Week has begun!! **DELURKED**

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Durhelediel, Mar 13, 2005.

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  1. Durhelediel

    Durhelediel Jedi Youngling star 3

    Mar 5, 2004
    Title: Ultimate Betrayal
    Author: Durhelediel
    Rating: PG

    WARNING: Contains some spoilers from Ep III!! This idea come to me from seeing the newest trailer?when Obi-Wan yells at Anakin, "You were supposed to be the Chosen One!"


    Inside of him he felt the raging storm of bitterness and a disappointment so black that he feared it would sear his soul.

    How could Anakin do this? Kill the Jedi? Turn to the dark side of the Force?

    How could Anakin mar the memory of his master, Qui-Gon Jinn, and the faith he had in an innocent boy that caused him to defy the Jedi Council once again?

    What had Obi-Wan done to completely mess up what his master foresaw? What had he done to Anakin that caused this complete shifting of destiny?

    Outside Obi-Wan was numb, unable to respond to Jedi Masters Yoda and Mace Windu as they tried to console him with empty platitudes of "You could not have foreseen this" and "You have done what you could to guide him". Incapable of listening to any more, Obi-Wan walked away from the two Jedi, not seeing their exchanged looks of concern behind his back.

    Surely he should have seen something in Anakin that would have led him to what he would become. His quickness to anger had been a concern to him, but he had thought Anakin could rise above it.

    No, he had wished Anakin could rise above his anger. Why?

    For Qui-Gon's sake.

    His former master had believed in the small boy, believed in him so much that he had been willing to turn his back on the rest of the Jedi to teach him, to even let Obi-Wan take his trials to knighthood to have Anakin for a padawan. What had Qui-Gon seen?

    Obi-Wan had never been able to see the same as his master. Through the years as he had taught Anakin he had meditated, seeking to find the same spark that Qui-Gon had needed no effort to know, but he had never been able to see it. Was that perhaps his failing, that he had not noticed what Qui-Gon had known?

    Dropping to his knees in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, ignoring the dry fountains and the ruins around him, Obi-Wan held his head in his hands and squeezed. What he needed now was to talk to someone who understood him and his predicament, who understood what he felt without him needing to say a word, but Qui-Gon had been dead for over twenty years.

    Dead, like so many of the other Jedi since the purge had begun. By his padawan, Anakin Skywalker.

    Obi-Wan rose to his feet and screamed out his own anger and frustration. His voice echoed through-out the mostly empty area, bouncing back and forth to him like the cry of the damned. Tears leaked out of his eyes in rivers, but he did not heed them. He was consumed by the emotions of failure.

    He dropped to his knees again, spent. The deaths of the Jedi were on his head. He had failed his apprentice and his master.

    "No, Obi-Wan. Not failed. Anakin chose his own destiny?you did not make it for him."

    Obi-Wan gasped and peered up at the shimmering form of his old master, Qui-Gon Jinn. "Wha-?"

    "There is little time for me to be here with you. The Jedi who have died recently have sent me to you. You are crucial to the outcome for billions across the galaxy?you must not allow yourself to be stopped by despair," Qui-Gon's ghost said in a hard voice, though his eyes were filled with sympathy. "This is not the Obi-Wan I know who would allow nothing to stop him when we were captured or close to death in the past."

    Obi-Wan, older and more cynical, shook his head. "That Obi-Wan is gone forever. I'm not the boy you knew."

    Qui-Gon's spectral form sighed. "No, he is still there. To help the galaxy you must find him again. Find yourself again, my Obi-Wan. There are bigger things for you yet to do."

    Obi-Wan reached for Qui-Gon as he began to fade. "No! Wait! There's so much to ask, to say! Don?t leave me again!"

    But Qui-Gon was gone.

    Or, was he ever really there?

    Obi-Wan smiled through his tears. Find himself again? More
  2. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Oct 28, 2003
    Do my eyes deceive me? My old padawan is posting in.. in .. SAGA!!!!! *faints dead away*

    Awwwww what a nice vignette... poor Obi and his emotional turmoil. I can't imagine what it must be like for him to have lost Anakin. Lovely touch with Qui-Gon there to comfort him... beautiful!

  3. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Mar 26, 2001
    Wow, love the "For Qui-Gon's sake" thing that was really a reflection on himself.
  4. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 24, 2002
    Excellent delve into Obi-Wan's thoughts. Very in keeping with his demeanor, soft and outraged, then screaming betrayal, during the trailer. I loved it. :)
  5. Lord_John

    Lord_John Jedi Youngling

    Dec 29, 2004
    Excellent story master. You captured an essence of the despair of the Jedi during this crucial time. I wonder how Obi-Wan really did feel after his apprentice turned like that? I think you showed us all a bit of that feeling.
  6. Durhelediel

    Durhelediel Jedi Youngling star 3

    Mar 5, 2004
    Master Layren- Yes I have broken through to the Saga forum, lol. And I'm very pleased you liked my viggy. One second sparked a story lol

    DarthIstar- ::blushes:: Ty, I was rather pleased with that myself. lol

    LuvEwan- Wow, high praise indeed! I'm so very glad that I was able to keep him in character. I saw that split second of his agony and this viggy just went from there, lol.

    Padawan- Why thank you for the compliment, Padawan. I did try hard to show how the Jedi felt, the betrayal that they must have felt when Anakin began the purge.
  7. Dally

    Dally Jedi Master star 4

    Apr 2, 2001
    How sad. Good story!
  8. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 7, 2000
    Stunning Durhelediel... I liked that Qui-Gon was able to come to him at a moment of deepest despair and was able to help him determine to find himself again. =D=
  9. Durhelediel

    Durhelediel Jedi Youngling star 3

    Mar 5, 2004
    Dally- Thank you!! So glad you liked it! It was my first story in Saga so I'm really nervous about my feedback, lol.

    Leona- Aww, yes I thought that was the only thing that could get Obi to snap out of the betrayal he felt. Qui always seems to help him out when he feels at his worst and things just seem to never be the same. I like to think Qui visited him in the desert through the years as well, don't you?
  10. The_Jesstar

    The_Jesstar Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 21, 2003

    You captured Obi-Wan's thoughts really well! Good work!

  11. Durhelediel

    Durhelediel Jedi Youngling star 3

    Mar 5, 2004
    Jesstar- Thanks for your compliment! I always enjoy climbing into Obi-Wan's thoughts and pov. :}
  12. Durhelediel

    Durhelediel Jedi Youngling star 3

    Mar 5, 2004
    Hello! Today marks the beginning of... ::drum roll please:: Lurker Appreciation Week!

    All week fun things will happen to those shy lurkers who decide to delurk in my stories. For now, gaze upon a nice shiny button made by TKeira_Lea.

  13. DarthEwan

    DarthEwan Jedi Youngling

    Jun 4, 2005
    great story. i liked that qui finally showed up to talk to obi. i personally think he should have visited obi sooner, like in attack of the clones. :)

    i really liked this story. are you going to continue it? More is always a good thing. ;)
  14. Durhelediel

    Durhelediel Jedi Youngling star 3

    Mar 5, 2004
    DarthEwan- You a newbie, or a delurker? There's a reason for the question. :}

    I hadn't really planned on adding more, though I suppose you could consider my new one, Many Meetings:Adjustments, to be an extension of that. Look in my sig for that link if you are interested. And that one is one currently in progress. :}
  15. JediGaeliaWindstar

    JediGaeliaWindstar Jedi Youngling star 1

    May 9, 2005
  16. Yui-chan

    Yui-chan Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jun 10, 2001
    Delurking... very nice fic. Love Obi-wan's vulnerability here. :)
  17. TKeira_Lea

    TKeira_Lea Jedi Knight star 5

    Oct 10, 2002
    Durheledial: I admitted read this fic and didn't reply. So I guess that makes me a lurker ;)

    I have to say that Obi-Wan's emotional conflict following his discovery of the truth about Anakin isre an interesting topic to me.

    What had he done to Anakin that caused this complete shifting of destiny?

    Great question. I can totally see Obi asking that of himself.

    GOod job [/obi voice] =D=
  18. DarthEwan

    DarthEwan Jedi Youngling

    Jun 4, 2005
    Durhelediel, i'm a newbie i guess. i used to stop by occasionally to check out the fics here, but never registered until a couple days ago. :)
  19. Brant_Flir

    Brant_Flir Jedi Padawan star 4

    May 30, 2005
    Really cool. I like how you put Qui-Gon in it. I was mad that they took his scene out of Episode III.
  20. Durhelediel

    Durhelediel Jedi Youngling star 3

    Mar 5, 2004
    Gaelia- Glad you liked, my friend! Good to see the boards are letting you back on, lol. We get glitches sometimes.

    Yui-chan- Welcome to the wonderful world of posting!! ::hugs unlurker:: Isn't it nice to see yourself in type and have the author say something to you? :} Welcome! Welcome!

    TKeira_Lea- Welcome as well to posting here! :[:D]: And yes, Obi very well probably asked himself that question, well if he were truly alive that is haha.

    DarthEwan- Well, welcome anyway. It's nice to have an account here. I lurked about a day before I got sucked in, haha.

    Brant_Flir- He had a scene in EpIII??? Do tell because I wasn't aware of that. Hmph, that upsets me as would have explained his voice in Ep II much better...
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