umor Star Wars

Discussion in 'Romania' started by sergiurusu, Oct 28, 2004.

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  1. ROGUESQUAD Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 27, 2004
    star 4
    Nu stiu daca urmatoarele chestii se pot incadra la umor SW...eu oricum le scriu...
    - in Statele Unite o femeie a intentat divort, motivand ca sotul ei a risipit peste 100.000 $ pe casete video, jucarii, tricouri, drumuri la conventii legate de Star Wars.
    - un fan SW inarmat cu un cutit a reusit sa patrunda in vechiul sediu din Los Angeles al companiei Lucasfilms, pretinzand ca este coautor al filmelor, a cerut cota parte din profit si a spus ca cine nu-l crede sa se uite in parcare, unde isi lasase Millenium Falcon-ul.
    - creatorul site-ului Star Wars Memories a rostit urmatoarea fraza : " Daca as fi primit 5 centi de fiecare data cand m-am asezat in pat, concentrandu-ma sa misc obiectele din camera cu ajutorul Fortei, la ora asta as avea mai mult maruntis decat Bill Gates "
    - un individ din statul american Massachusetts a fost dat afara de la serviciu pentru ca a venit la birou deghizat in Luke calare pe un taun-taun.

  2. sergiurusu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2001
    star 5
    Ca a venit deghizat in Luke mai inteleg, dar cum naiba a venit deghizat in Luke pe Taun-Taun??!! :D
  3. ROGUESQUAD Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 27, 2004
    star 4
    Taun-taun-ul era confectionat din cartoane vopsite, sarme si blana lipita pe deasupra.
    Kul...
  4. mara_alexia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2004
    star 4
    Cred ca o sa ma deghizez si eu in taun-taun vineri la party-ul celor de la starwars.ro. Macar asa n-o sa se sperie nimeni de moaca mea...
  5. sergiurusu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2001
    star 5
    [image=http://img137.exs.cx/img137/2896/swlukehanwookie2mn.jpg]

    [image=http://img137.exs.cx/img137/7793/swwow5hw.jpg]

    [image=http://img138.exs.cx/img138/3159/swfemalestormie023xh.jpg]
  6. sergiurusu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2001
    star 5
    [image=http://img138.exs.cx/img138/6307/swwookiearmor2vd.jpg]


    [image=http://img138.exs.cx/img138/4840/swwantedwookiee1mt.jpg]
  7. Doona101 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2004
    star 3
    Metode de a distruge Death Star:

    Mind-Tricked it into blowing itself up.
    Install Windows ME on their main computer and wait thirty seconds for the crash.
    Make it fight the other 500 ultimate superweapons from the EU.
    Park it in a bad part of the galaxy.
    Sneak Jar Jar onboard...
    Throw that stupid mouse droid into the reactor core.
    Get a hobbit to take it to Mordor and throw it into Mount Doom
    Call the White House and report it as a Weapon of Mass Destruction
    Control+Alt+Delete!!!
    Unplugged the power cord
    Put a really big mirror in front of the superlaser.
    Bribe lowly ILM techs to edit it out of the film
    Leave it alone, sooner or later a stormtrooper will hit the self destruct
    We could shoot the Ewoks into space and let them throw rocks at it (note: this probably would work).
    Drop a lit lightsaber down a central elevator shaft. Gravity pulls it to the center and all the important equipment.
    Hired Homer Simpson as Safety Inspector for the main reactor.
    Take out the SIM card
    Run Unpatched Windows XP on main computer, let hackers do the rest.
    Shove Jek Porkins in the exhaust port and teach him to harness his explosive flatulence
    Press the "off" button
    Send them a bunch of spam for Twi'lik porn sites and insurance companies until the whole thing blows up.
    Just walk in and shut it down, it's not like I'm going to get hit by a stormtrooper or something!
  8. sergiurusu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2001
    star 5
  9. Cobu Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 24, 2004
    star 1
    Ce o sa vaspun acum ciar o sa va amuze. :D (cel putin asa sper:D)
    Zilele trecute corbeam cu o fata pe YM si cind mi-am luat larevedere (trebuie sa ies afar) i-am spus
    HAI PA SI FORTA FIE CU TINE.
    Ce credeti ca a inteles????
    HAI PA SI DUTE DRAC*
    Ca sa va dati seama ce inteleg prin forta fie cu tine cei care nu au vazut filmul
  10. sergiurusu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2001
    star 5
    Ha Ha!!! :D :D LOOL! Asta a fost BUNA, Cobu!!

  11. sergiurusu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2001
    star 5
    [image=http://img155.exs.cx/img155/4581/stormtrooper4dx.gif] :D (no offense to anyone), intrebarea e ce naiba face stormu' in parcare?
  12. Cobu Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 24, 2004
    star 1
    o fi venit si el la agatat :D
  13. sergiurusu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2001
    star 5
    Quentin Tarantino si Star Wars :D


    [image=http://www2.freepichosting.com/Images/421572478/38.jpg]
  14. sergiurusu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2001
    star 5
    incercati asta (film SW- cartoons) : :D



    http://www.apocalypsecartoons.com/falime/flme.html
  15. sergiurusu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2001
    star 5
    [image=http://www.asrg54.dsl.pipex.com/starwars/lousy/top.jpg]
  16. SVAndrei Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2004
    star 5
  17. Doona101 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2004
    star 3
    Poarta tu tricoul ala ca noi, NU (Vader si roz?)
  18. sergiurusu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2001
    star 5
  19. ROGUESQUAD Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 27, 2004
    star 4
    Versurile de la melodia lui Weird Al Yankovich - Anakin Guy :
    Coloana sonora - American Pie

    A long, long time ago
    In a galaxy far away
    Naboo was under an attack
    And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn
    Could talk the federation into
    Maybe cutting them a little slack
    But their response, it didn't thrill us
    They locked the doors and tried to kill us
    We escaped from that gas
    Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass
    We took a bongo from the scene
    And we went to Theed to see the Queen
    We all wound up on Tatooine
    That's where we found this boy...

    Oh my my this here Anakin guy
    May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
    And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
    Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
    "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

    Did you know this junkyard slave
    Isn't even old enough to shave
    And he can use the Force, they say
    Ahh, do you see him hitting on the queen
    Though he's just nine and she's fourteen
    Yah, he's probably gonna marry her someday
    Well, I knew he built C-3PO
    And I've heard how fast his pod can go
    And we were broke, it's true
    So we made a wager or two
    He was a prepubescent flyin' ace
    And the minute Jabba started off that race
    Well, I knew who would win first place
    Oh yes, it was our boy

    We started singin' ...
    My my this here Anakin guy
    May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
    And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
    Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
    "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

    Now we finally got to Coruscant
    The Jedi Council we knew would want
    To see how good the boy could be
    So we took him there and we told the tale
    How his midi-chlorians were off the scale
    And he might fulfill that prophecy
    Oh, the Council was impressed, of course
    Could he bring balance to the Force?
    They interview the kid
    Oh, training they forbid
    Because Yoda sensed in him much fear
    And Qui-Gon said "Now listen here"
    "Just stick it in your pointy ear"
    "I still will teach this boy"

    He was singin' ...
    My my this here Anakin guy
    May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
    And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
    Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
    "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

    We caught a ride back to Naboo
    'Cause Queen Amidala wanted to
    I frankly would've liked to stay
    We all fought in that epic war
    And it wasn't long at all before
    Little Hotshot flew his plane and saved the day
    And in the end some Gungans died
    Some ships blew up and some pilots fried
    A lot of folks were croakin'
    The battle droids were broken
    And the Jedi I admire most
    Met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast
    Well, I'm still here and he's a ghost
    I guess I'll train this boy

    And I was singin' ...
    My my this here Anakin guy
    May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
    And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
    Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
    "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

    We were singin' ...
    My my this here Anakin guy
    May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
    And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
    Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"


  20. SVAndrei Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2004
    star 5
    LOL

    Rezumatul Ep 1 in versuri!! What will they think up next!
  21. Doona101 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2004
    star 3
    Da' cine-i wierdo asta ca am mai vazut de-ale lui pe dc++, dar nu am avut curiozitatea...
  22. sergiurusu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2001
    star 5
    asta-i bomba!!!!! LOOL :D
  23. mara_alexia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2004
    star 4
    E destul de lung, dar merita sa-l cititi. Eu am ras pana n-am mai avut aer...


    "How the Sith Stole Christmas"
    by Alexa
    Chapter 1
    Palpatine was sitting on his throne and he was not a happy Sith. Of course people usually think that Sith are not happy, but they are really happy beings in their darkness. If you don't believe, well, just look at how they are always smiling and grinning. The Jedi with their controlled emotions were never happy, just serene!
    He rose and paced around the throne.
    - "I WANT LORD VADER HERE NOW!" - he said.
    Some of the guards took the chance to run out of the room. In comparison to the emperor, Vader was bloody charming company, well, mainly bloody..
    Vader arrived soon. He was bored too. His tulips were growing too bright. All he wanted was a perfect black tulip. It infuriated him that all he could have were perfect pink, yellow and sometimes blue tulips. It was not good for his reputation..
    Vader knelt in front of the Emperor's throne.
    - "Master!"
    - "Lord Vader, I can see by your expression that you're not having a good day either."
    Vader became even angrier. Damn the Sith. He only talked about his expression to remind him that he wore a mask! And he didn't even have the courage to say that to his face. He only said these things when Vader's mask was on!
    - "We all have our days Master!"
    - "True indeed Lord Vader, true indeed. Well, I called you here because I was told that our sympathy levels are too low in the galaxy. People don't looooove us.."
    - "Well, we are dark side. Shouldn't we be happy? Those silly Jedi's were the ones wanting to be nice and loved, and all that "Make love not war" after all.."
    - "Yes, but we still have to do something. I want the rebels to be the bad guys..."
    - "Well, you are the Master. What do you have in mind?"
    - "Hmmm, I still have to talk with some marketing advisers, But I have some ideas. I was thinking that maybe some decorated trees around the palace. With some lights and stuff.."
    - "Trees?" The dark lord questioned.
    - "Well, yes. We can use the ones that grow on Endor, that way we can make a few Ewoks homeless. And maybe we can bring some old myths to our aid. Someone that is born to save us or something.. We can make a play and all.. With angels." The emperor said thoughtfully.
    - "Angels?"- Said Vader his voice suddenly faint .
    - "Yes, angels. I would make a wonderful angel. Don't you think?"
    - "Er. well."
    - "Yes, of course I would.. And some songs.."
    - "Hmmm yes. Well a pity that I will be too busy."
    - "Busy?"
    - "Hmm Yes.. The rebels you know."
    - "Oh no. we will stop hunting them for a while. That way when they attack our beautiful party, everyone can see what the right side is.. Besides, I will need you here."
    - "You will?"
    - "Yes. I think you wear black too often. How about a red outfit? And you can distribute some presents at the party."
    Despite all the black of his suit, Vader turned white and even his breathing system stopped functioning.
    But Palpatine was far too busy with his thoughts to notice. And reaching out to his hand, he send her an order.
    <<Came here hand. I need your services.>>
    << Yes Master!>> She replied.
    <<Oh! And on your way. Bring me a drink. I'm thirsty!>>

    Chapter 2
    Mara Jade walked down the corridor that lead to the throne room with an exotic cocktail in her hand. She would never understand the Sith master's taste for colorful drinks with fruits and juices, probably, because of that she would never be a Sith. She hated light cocktails.
    She entered the throne room through the main door. She could use her secret passage, but there were more people there and she didn?t want to give it way.
    - "Master. Here is your drink."
    Darth Vader, who was breathing again by now, took a minute to look at her. She was dressed like a dancer or a courtesan, but he knew what kind of work she did. He was one of the few who knew that when she managed to put a guy in the horizontal position, he was in no shape to take any pleasure from it.
    The emperor grabbed his drink and started drinking through it?s yellow and b
  24. AK-610 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 27, 2004
    star 3
    Ha ha ha ! Super ! Ca sa vezi ...nici nu stiam ca noi stormtrooperi avem un sindicat : "But the union of the independent stormtroopers liked the idea. For years they had been struggling to be seen as individuals and not numbers. Unlike the stormtroopers united they didn't like the fact that they were treated as one just because they were clones." Excelent! Poate ma inscriu si ajung lider sindical ... Iti dai seama ce avantaje ? Apartament cu "n" camere in cel mai bun cartier din Coruscant , landspeeder /airspeeder/nava personala , sofer/pilot , dansatoare twi'lek , droid care sa imi lustruiasca armura in fiecare dimineata , credite etc. [face_laugh]
  25. mara_alexia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2004
    star 4
    AK-610, sa stii ca exact la tine ma gandeam si eu cand am citit pasajul respectiv.:D.. Ce bine ti-ar sta lider sindical... in armura roz!


    Mie mi-a placut si pasajul de deschidere, e tare de tot:

    "Palpatine was sitting on his throne and he was not a happy Sith. Of course people usually think that Sith are not happy, but they are really happy beings in their darkness. If you don't believe, well, just look at how they are always smiling and grinning. The Jedi with their controlled emotions were never happy, just serene!"
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