Saga Unbound Chains

Title: Unbound Chains
Author: Starsaber49
(Current) Star Wars Characters: Darth Vader,Luke Skywalker
Genre: Adventure/Drama
Time Period: After ESB, before ROTJ


Prologue: The Message
"Power. Knowledge. Strength. Independence. Everyone who heard of the Damos System knew that's what we represented. But the both the Republic and the Sith feared us. We were the symbol of freedom and defiance against those who challenge us. But now, after all these generations, cut off from the rest of the galaxy, I realize now it all meant nothing. Our arrogance and pride was what destroyed us. Without anyone else to fight against, we turned on each other, and the result was worse than death.

And here I am, the last living thing in this system, if my scan are correct. No matter what happens, even if the message gets through against all the odds, it doesn't matter. All that's left of this mighty system is a dead corpse. And I refuse to allow it to dominate the rest of the galaxy. Even I'm not that heartless. I will die fighting it. Don't try to track this message to it's source. Don't try to get past the Rift. The Damos System is dead. May the Force be with you.. and may it be with me in my last moments... goodbye.

-------- The Last Survivor (The Damos System)


Vader returned his gaze to the Emperor, as the holographic message ended. The Emperor sat in his throne, sipping water from within a grey bottle. Vader slowly clenched his gloved hand into a fist. He knows exactly what he's doing. The Emperor sighed contently and placed the bottle on the small table on his right.







Sidious. Palpatine, Sheev. Whatever you knew him as, everyone, including Vader would probably agree on one thing. The Emperor was a sadistic bastard. He enjoyed manipulation, using emotions against others. And Sidious always kept himself sharp, usually by practicing on Vader.

It was the little things, that over exaggerated sigh of contentment after drinking the water, or that small, smug smile when he saw Vader's clenched fist. And the fact that he knows his mind games work on me each time enrages me even more.....just as he planned. He thought coldly.

"If I must takes a guess Master,by showing me this message, you wish to ignore the warning left by the apparent only known survivor within this Damos System and try to trace this message, leading us to this solar system?" Vader said in a cool, matter of fact tone. Sidious smile grew wider, and more predatory.

"Many legends are spoken about the Damos System. How it was the only unified solar system to defy the Old Republic and the Sith, how even Revan at his full power was unable to invade it. Oldia, Sceri, Nova, and Divor. These planets orbited Cora, an incredibly ancient star that against every law of age and time, refused to age. And the weapons they forged were said to be so powerful, that it could destroy a planet instantaneously."

The Emperor's explained, his voice reverberating off the empty walls of the Imperial Palace. Vader closed his eyes in thought behind his helmet, thinking.

"So, this system was so advanced that they had weapons that could have rivaled the original Death Star?" Vader mused, already understand his Master's reasoning.

"Yes, that was one of the many reason's Revan couldn't invade the Damos System. Their weapons ranged from mechanical, autonomous, plasma, and even biological. If even one variant of these weapons remains in the Damos System. And finally, when they decided to cut themselves off from the war between the Old Republic and the Sith, they somehow simply vanished, never again appearing in any form.... till now." Sidious said, a twisted grin upon his face.

Vader felt a dark smile appear upon his face too, hidden behind his helmet. A dead, abandoned system, possibly, and probably filled with technology and weaponry powerful enough to wipe entire armies. With this, we could crush the Rebellion. Luke would be broken, defeated, and would have nowhere to run... given enough time he would invetibly submit to------ARGHFFGGHG? Vader screamed as his entire body erupted in pain. It was like he was on Mustafar all over again, burning, burning, and burning.



Vader collapsed onto his knee's, and looked up at his Master. He knew exactly who brought such pain to his mind and body. Sidious eyes were cold, and filled with a dark rage. He stepped off his throne with ease, and removed his hood, showing his aged body. He pulled a old, ancient looking lightsaber slowly with his left hand. Vader jumped up and ignited his lightsaber. Then in simple one moment, They clashed.


Vader didn't know when Sidious ignited his lightsaber. He was simply that fast. Sidious's blade clashed with Vader's, sparks igniting as they fought. Vader jumped back, and in response, Sidious rushed forward with the blade with ferocity and speed, his eyes filled with an animalistic fury. Vader dodged his attack barely. This was a battle of life and death. Either Vader killed Sidious, or last long enough for Sidious's anger to dissipate. For anyone else, that horrifying.. For Vader, this was a normality.

I need some time to formulate a strategy. Vader thought, as began dodging attacks. "Why do you even bother blocking every one of my attacks Master? I know your strong enough to beat me in one hit, so why make me think I can even win?" A young voice angrily echoed in Vader's head. No! Not now! "It's not matter of strength Anakin . Through the use of Soresu, I can hold off my enemies attacks long enough to formulate a strategy. All the power in the world means nothing if you don't have a plan other than killing your opponent." Vader began attacking in rage, becoming more aggressive, parring Sidious's attacks quickly and efficently.

"Only Sith's deal in absolutes!"
"You were the Chosen One!"

Vader THREW Sidious against one the palace walls with the Force, smiling in vicious satisfaction as Sidious hit the wall. Sidious collapsed, begining to weeze in pain. Vader rushed at Sidious, his mind filled with rage, regret, and friendships long dead.

Right as Vader's blade was about to pierce Sidious, Vader found himself flying to wall opposite of Sidious. Vader was forced against the wall, suspended in the air as well. Sidious laughed sadistically walking up to Vader.

"Good. GOOD! Give in to your rage. Use the memories of Anakin Skywalker's past to fuel your path as Darth Vader." Vader felt the force pushing him against the wall, dissipate, and he fell to the floor.

"And you should understand Lord Vader, just because I can't see your face, doesn't mean I don't know what you thinking. Luke Skywalker's fate is not yours to decide. I decide his fate. Not you. Now go. Begining preparing for travel. We shall locate the Damos System, and obtain the weapons and technology that made the Damos System a legend." Sidious said matter of factly, once again sitting upon his throne.

Vader got up, and dusted off his armor. He stared at his master for a moment with hatred burning within him, and turned around and left the throne room. But as he left, and his anger cooled, something began irratating him. The message... that survivor said he was the only living thing left in this Damos System.... but the entire purpose of the message was warn everyone to stay away...because as he said, he would rather die then let "it" spread across the Galaxy."

Vader stopped, and narrowed his eyes behind his helmet and sighed. In the end it didn't matter what stood in his way. The Emperor had made his order, and he would follow it.


No matter the cost.

PROLOGUE END



(Author's Notes: First chapter of my horrible fanfic. Please rip to shredds critcally. I'm mostly writing this fanfic to pracitce my writing in general, such as writing that very basic fight scene between Vader and Sidious.

My perspective on Vader is that he tries to lock away his past personality with hatred and rage, but as you saw, one simple thought considering using Soresu to buy some time to think, invoked mulitple memories of the individual who used Soresu commonly- Obi-Wan. This enraged Vader, and made him more aggressive, and irrational, so when Sidous fell to the ground weezing like an old man, instead of Vader immeidalty thinking trap, he thought "He's weak, KILL him."

But that's just me. I'll update this story soon. Hope you enjoy!)

 

Rip to shreds critically? That's not going to happen.

I am not a fan of underlined stuff for things that aren't titles, that looks messy. You can write your author notes in normal text after an underlined title, add a horizontal line before them or something. This was hard to read. But it's not related to your story per sé, so...

As far as the story itself goes, there's this little thing that's otherwise pervasive in fan fics and I'll just link you to this and this. You write great descriptions and you don't have much dialogue, but it seems like you just attributed it to Vader and Sidius in a hurry. Had they talked more, or if there was a quick discussion among more characters, it could've been distracting.

Other than that, some punctuation may be a bit off (this is my problem, too, my native language has different rules from English), there is the its/it's error, the "dead corpse" pleonasm...but I don't see anything that would deserve us ripping you to shreds. Proofreading helps a lot there. You can, perhaps, ask for somebody to go through what you're posting before you do in this thread.

Other than that, adventure and drama are genres rarely explored compared to some others and you have me hooked already with your writing style, the way you creatively introduced the protagonists and got into the heads of the big bad and his minion. I subscribed to this story.

 

(Thanks for the response! I'm glad someone is enjoying my writing.)

Chapter 1 [Part 1]: The Response
Corridinates : Classified
Rumored Location: Near the Edge of Damos System

The Force. It binds every living thing in the galaxy together. And whether I like it or not, it binds me to my father as well.
Luke mused , clenching his artificial hand. He had his orders. Everyone had heard the Message, as many were calling it now. The Damos System could now be discovered, after all these generations. The Rebellion had immediatly began using their resources to discover the Empire's response. The answer came to no shock of anyone. The Emperor was sending Darth Vader himself to investigate the lost system. If the rumors of Damos were correct, the technology the Empire could obtain would surpass the Death Star easily. Vader had to be stopped, or at least delayed until the Damos System could be secured. The Rebellion began the Damos Operation immediatly.

Of course, I was chosen to lead the operation After all, I've had such success recently. Luke thought bitterly, staring at the stars. Han was gone, currently holed up in Jabba's palace. Leia was colder, more distant. And Lando's sly comments were filled with the regret of an old con man. If I had only been faster, if I hadn't wasted my time with Yoda.. Luke clenched his fist violently, then began to breathe in and out deeply. No. I can't let my emotions cloud my judgment. I only survived Vader because of what Yoda taught me. I will not let become like Vader. I refuse to become like my father. Luke sighed. He stared at his current surroundings, and sighed. How did everything fall apart so quickly?


"Hey Skywalker?" Is this pilot getting the ship to move any faster?" An arrogant voice broke through Luke's thoughts. Luke sighed in annoyance. Here we go again. Luke thought, turning towards to face his current passenger, and partner on this venture. Starsaber. His white polished armor stood out compared to the grime and dirt of the vessel. Starsaber's helmet was off, and he was holding it in both hands. His eyes were a light silver, with dirty blonde hair that was cut short. The left side of his ear was missing, replaced with a circular implant. He grinned cheekily.


"What do you want Imperial?" Luke said cooly. Starsaber narrowed his eyes, and placed his helmet on the desk within the room both Luke and him were in. He sighed and crossed his arms.



"Alright Skywalker, lets lay out the facts. I was an Imperial, who served the Empire loyally. Now I'm on your side, wearing Imperial armor that's more like a walking weapon. You know that. I get that this armor is a living reminder of the Empire for you, and considering what. I heard happened at Cloud City, I understand why that makes you angry. But I don't have time to be friendly and sympathetic. We are about to enter a uncharted system, known only by legend, all to stop Darth Vader himself from getting technology more powerful than the Death Star. This mission is damned critical for the Rebellion's survival. So stop sulking, for the good of this damn mission!"

Luke took a step back in shock. He could FEEL the intense rage that was coming from Starsaber. It wasn't like the cold, calculating, rage that Vader brought with him. Starsaber's rage was firey, passionate, and above all else unbound. Starsaber picked up his helmet and put it back on as Luke grabbed his blaster and aimed it at Starsaber. Starsaber's red visor glew a vibrant red as both Starsaber and Luke stared each other down. Starsaber growled in annoyance. "Don't let your emotions get us killed Jedi." Starsaber said with a vicious, knowing snarl. He walked out, with Luke staring in shock. Luke watched as the door closed, as the realization came to him.

My partner in this mission. The person I'm gonna have to trust with my life, is a user of the Dark Side of the Force.

-----------------------------------------------

A.N.
Sorry for the short chapter (hence part 1) I do these chapters in segements when I'm a bit tired. Anyways. some Notes. I thought about making the dark sider reveal of Starsaber occur later, but a thought occured to me while writing. Wouldn't it be more dramatic, more interesting, if Luke knew at the beginning that Starsaber was attuned to the dark side of the force? Starsaber's origin instead will be the thing that is revealed bit by bit.

Also let me clarify, Starsaber is not a self insert. I actually originally got the idea for Starsaber when I joined this forum. See I had just recently got back into the Star Wars, so fanficiton ideas were already beginning to pop into my head.
So let me make some major points about Starsaber to settle anyone's else nerves.

1. Darksider or not, Starsaber would get beat down by Vader. Re-read the part where Luke compares Star's rage to Vader's.
2. Starsaber is a co-protaganist, but Luke is the MAIN protagonist. Both will go through character arcs, but Luke is the more important.

Above all else, here's what Starsaber will represent in this story. Its a question I've asked a lot throughout the Star Warverse.

What is the line between righteous anger and cruel hatred? What defines the Dark Side above all else?


Also, next time, I'm gonna post a personally drawn picture of what Starsaber's armor looks like, so you guys can get a decent visual. See ya!