Uncle Yoda Column

Next fight poll

Jedi_Guy

vs.

Chunk


You gotta give the kid points for that one Chunk!

That was really funny!

 

Uncle Yoda sez:

What is it with women????? For 800 years, I was ready, willing and able....NOW THAT I'M GONE, I START GETTIN' OFFERS! GEEZ!!!!

 

dear JGOC
I am a jedi and can see past your game of trying to pass your self of as yaddle , please stop contacting me I told you it was a one time thing, and that I dont want to be with you, if you continue to contact me I will be forced to have you banished to the naboo swamps .
YODA

 

I don't wanna fight chunk, just make fun of him!

 

sorry no points ,
it wasnt in the form of a poll.

 

Dear Yoda,

Day in and Day out. People fear me. But yet, I have the confidence of a turtle. I tried to kill luke just for fun but that stupid han solo knocked me into that pit. It's kinda dark in here and I'm constantly bathing in digestive juices. Is there anything that i can do to make raise my self esteem again? The Weequay in the corner won't stop heckling me.

Signed,
boba fett

 

Let's take this outside Chunky old boy...

I'll kick you into the dirt...

 

oh yea beat up chunk cause he points out that you have a yoda fetish.

 

Uncle Yoda sez:
Dear Boba,
You wouldn't have this problem if you just showed people your softer side. Beneath that armour there must be a soft spot somewhere. According to solo it's the groin. I'm betting that you have a little bit of a beer gut. Whatever it is, share the softer side of yourself.

 

Dear Yoda,

Thanks for your reply, however; I believe the sarlacc has digested all the soft parts

 

Uncle Yoda sez:

Oh, well, then your problems are almost over...now that it's gotten to your rotten core, it'll hurl you up any time now!

 

Chunk, I've heard you are trouble. Shall I have my armies come to destroy you?

 

Nevermind, kit's is better.

 

man now everybody has two personalities. bring it on just watch that ronto doesnt sneak up on yea

 

Ronto? Ha! Like he'll be a problem for Thalia. She's EVIL. I mean, Scary evil...

 

afganistan eh she have a beard?

 

Why only two personalities? My voices give me about 10!!!!!!! And I use 1 screen name for all of them!

 

No, go look at her picture.

 

you and obi annabe need to get with the times.

 

Well, I have another sock I have not brought here, and then I can always hijack my brothers screen name.

 

she looks like old palpy. thats nasty cunk doesnt like old ladies. he likes jawas.

 

Uncle Yoda sez:
Fight not in my column!! (make a new topic for the grudge match)

 

whats with the whole sock thing I dont get it.
oh yea stuff A SOCK IN IT uncle yoda.

 

Uncle Yoda,

I feel like I'm falling apart. I'm confused with who I am. I try to discover my innerself through the Force, but all that lead to was me tatooing my entire body black and red! Plus whenever I bite my tounge my teeth really do some damage! Not to mention, when I try to give piggy back rides to the kids at the hospital I volunteer at they end up skewering themselves on my horns!

And now I have a crazed Padawan trying to kill me! He's nutso! I told him sorry for what I did to his Master. Those danged lightsabers are so hard to control.

D. Maul
~gotsith@tatoocenteral.com

 

Uncle Yoda sez:
Ya might wanna check the company you keep. If you happen to be hangin' around a psychotic guy bent on domination of the universe and controlling the Trade Federation through fear, you might wanna find some new friends. That's IF you happen to know a guy like that.