Saga | Undone - A Poem | Response to the Fanfiction Challenge "Inspirations"

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Aanix_Durray, Apr 8, 2003.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. Aanix_Durray Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 29, 2001
    star 4
    "What's done, cannot be undone." -- Lady Macbeth, from Shakespeare's Macbeth


    - - - -

    Undone:

    A red blade, sunken into flesh for the taking,
    The killing of the innocent for the murder of the loved,
    The screaming of the children for the closing of her eyes,

    What?s done cannot be undone.

    The heat of sabers, of tainted lights, of a frozen gaze,
    A fight from within and without, with himself, with others,
    A slip, a fall, a tumble into the redness, a charring of the heart,

    What?s done cannot be undone.

    A mechanical breath, the fear, the cold and the dead,
    The twisted soul, wrapped around the hate, wrapped around the anger,
    The dropping of her hand, the slip of her fingers into oblivion,

    What?s done cannot be undone.

    The boy, the girl, the old man, the Master,
    A world screaming and a single life cries,
    A battle and a hardened heart, a mission to crush and destroy,

    What?s done cannot be undone.

    A mist, a calling out, a duel, a Dark One and a child,
    The facing of the enemy, the path toward the edge,
    The revelation and the wounding, the father and his son,

    What?s done cannot be undone.

    The defiance, the liberation and the rescue, the journey to the end,
    A lock of true eyes, a heavy breath, a redemption for his soul,
    A time for the closing, a grasp of the hand and a whisper through the mind:

    What?s done cannot be undone.


    - - -


    ~Aanix
  2. AERYN_SUN Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 1, 2001
    star 5
    A mechanical breath, the fear, the cold and the dead,
    The twisted soul, wrapped around the hate, wrapped around the anger,
    The dropping of her hand, the slip of her fingers into oblivion,


    My favorite stanza. Really good poem, Aanix.

    ~aeryn
  3. crystalrain Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2003
    star 4
    *is impressed*














    Wow! [face_shocked]
  4. Aanix_Durray Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 29, 2001
    star 4
    Thanx guys, the kind words are much appreciated :)

    ~Aanix
  5. Amidala_Skywalker Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2001
    star 5
    Absolutely beautiful, Aanix :).

    Thank you for sharing. I always admire those who can craft wonderful poems.

    Am [face_love]
  6. Darth_Tim Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 26, 2002
    star 4
    Wow, Aanix, I'm impressed!

    -Tim
  7. Ty-gon Jinn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 4
    A mist, a calling out, a duel, a Dark One and a child,
    The facing of the enemy, the path toward the edge,
    The revelation and the wounding, the father and his son,

    What?s done cannot be undone.


    Wow, very nice.

    And you even quoted one of my favorite Shakespearean characters!! :)
  8. Aanix_Durray Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 29, 2001
    star 4
    Amidala_Skywalker: Thank you :)

    Darth_Tim: Glad you enjoyed it... I loved your poetry so it means a lot coming from you :)

    Ty-gon Jinn: And you even quoted one of my favorite Shakespearean characters!!

    Really? She's one of mine too, I did her "Out Damn Spot" monologue in a theatre class a couple quarters ago... I love her character :)



    ~Aanix
  9. Aanix_Durray Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 29, 2001
    star 4
  10. Princess1 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 3, 2001
    star 4
    The defiance, the liberation and the rescue, the journey to the end,
    A lock of true eyes, a heavy breath, a redemption for his soul,
    A time for the closing, a grasp of the hand and a whisper through the mind:

    What?s done cannot be undone.


    Wow. [face_shocked] that was amazing, beautifully done, especially the last bit, absolutely perfect. A very powerful poem. Great job Aanix! You really are a talented writer. :D




  11. Aanix_Durray Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 29, 2001
    star 4
    **blushes** Thanx, Jen :)






    ~Aanix
  12. Princess1 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 3, 2001
    star 4
    Your welcome, its true. :)
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.