Saga Unlikely Parenthood (Dear Diary Challenge 2007) - OCs: Agent Nifesta, Padawan Zula

Title: Unlikely Parenthood
Author: Sith-I-5
Characters: Agent Mitch Nifesta, 2000-year old Extra-Ordinary Powered Entity, created by Sith-I-5
Padawan Fenlaka Zula, 12-year old twi'lek, created by Pashatemur

Timeframe: Starts from four years after Revenge of the Sith
Summary and Author?s Note: This is my spur-of-the-moment entry to the Dear Diary 2007 Challenge.

I am a fanfiction writer turned roleplayer on the tf.n Role Playing Forum, and I continue or expand on the histories of my story characters in the roleplays.

Essentially a long-lived and immoral Force vampire, Mitch Nifesta started out as a series villain in my ISB Chronicles stories, opposing my Imperial Security heroes.
He has been in three Star Wars ? 007 Style games as a Republic security agent (SGIS/MI5 - Secret Galactic Intelligence Service) before the events of The Phantom Menace, and in one, I brought in Master Yoda as a sidekick.

Based on that portrayal, I was invited to take over the role of Yoda in the flagship game, Galaxy at War III, set four years after Revenge of the Sith, and brought Nifesta into that game too. This diary will be chronicling those events.


There is no emotion; there is peace. There is no ignorance; there is knowledge. There is no passion; there is serenity. And then you get the chance to moon the Emperor, and you just gotta go for it.

Play my cards right, and I could be a Dad tomorrow.

This has been a whirlwind time, from finding a community of jedi refugees that survived Order 66, led by my old mate Yoda, after we worked together that time.
He let me adopt one of his padawans, a brave but ultimately vulnerable twelve-year old Twi?lek by the name of Fenlaka Zula.

He's lost two Masters already; one at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, and one at Kamino. He's a feisty little fragger though. I lost people too, also in Order 66. I know where is is coming from.

I have laid the groundwork by signing him on as a junior agent with the Service (SGIS), I wanted him to enter this with his eyes open, so to speak, so as we head into our first mission, I took him to the ship's conference pod to brief him on it, and just what sort of being I was.

Sticking a couple of bright yellow Alderaan Comlink Directories on a chair, the E.P.E. had installed his newest cadet on there, so the lad could at least rest his arms on the table?s surface.

"Okay, Fen. There are things we are going to go over, first, something you need to know about me; then the mission-"

"To deliver Master C?Boath?s slippers, right?"

"Not quite. When I told you that, it was what we in the law enforcement community refer to as, 'a joke'."

"But," Fen looked in confusion at the JC-embroidered objects sitting by Nifesta's right elbow. "you had me bring them. They are right there." The lad's lekku twitched with confusion.

Mitch glanced at the slippers with a twinge of guilt.

"Well, if you are going to pretend that you have turned up purely to deliver a person's slippers, it kind of adds a bit more weight if you bring them along."

"I see." Fen ventured, who didn't at all. "So what is the mission then?"

"Master Yoda reckons that C?Boath is in trouble on Tatooine. He didn't give me any details, but I'm assuming he didn't simply lock himself out of his speeder."

"And is that a joke too??

Nifesta was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the way this was going.
He and Yoda bounced jokes and quips off each other, but this kid was taking things very seriously.
He could see the 'Oochy-coochy' business going down like a lead balloon.

"This IS a rescue mission, Fen'. That bit is true. I don't make hyperspace jumps for my own amusement...well, I do. But this isn't one of those times."

 

DAY TWO

It was a busy one for the boy.
Yesterday, he was a masterless padawan on that disgusting planet, Dagobah, doing whatever it was children did, whilst Master Yoda engaged in charades to get me to go on this mission.

The surviving Council Member held up two clawed digits on his right hand, and tapped it on his left forearm.

"Two syllables."

Yoda tapped his forearm with his index digit.

"First syllable. Sounds like. Sleep. Nap. Frozen in carbonite? Rest? Rest! Sounds like Rest. Second syllable. Sounds like..."

Yoda pointed off to the line of younglings dutifully lining up outside one of the buildings.

"Little buggers? Younglings? Rest younglings? What kind of word is that? Line of younglings? Line. Queue. Queue! Rest and queue? RESCUE! You want me to rescue him?!?"

Master Yoda did a little moonwalk of celebration, his clawed feet making little tracks in the brown soil.
"Finally. His choobie I want you to rescue. Eat him you should not. In fact, no-one on this assignment you should eat. Something you wish to say, I sense? Though point out I will, the answer is YES."

I just came out with it. "I am taking Padawan Fenlaka Zula with me-"

"Cool. Bye."

I couldn't believe there was no objections, waving down at him. "Whoa, wait a minute. Just so we are clear, someone you don't trust is taking one of your children on a lo-ong space journey, and into a potentially dangerous combat situation."

"Trust you with Fen I do. Good for each other, you will be. Keep him up past his bed time you should not; brushes his teeth you should ensure, and if the slightest scratch he sustains, fall out you and I will."


Today, he has a Dad, I have a kid, and we have reached Tatooine to discover that Master C'Boath and his two Rebel friends do not need rescuing after all.
In fact, the jedi was rather offended that anyone would think he needed rescuing. I promised Yoda I wouldn't eat him, but, just so you know, this C'Boath character is asking for a slap!

Still, the 'slipper delivery' joke went down fairly well, so our trip wasn't a complete waste.

Tomorrow morning, Fen and I will help the three move a cache of hidden weapons from somewhere in the Dune Sea ? again, the imaginative names, I bask in their creativity ? but this evening, Fen and I are dinner guests with the Lars family on their moisture farming homestead.

Fen seems to love it, and I just find myself smiling whenever I watch him.

Hey, up. He's yawning and trying to hide it. Better put him to bed.

 

This is highly original and well written. Well done, well done.

 

This is highly original and well written. Well done, well done.

 

I like the way Mitch rants.
The way his mind skips is wonderful.

I'm looking forward for more.

 

Thank you all for the feedback.

 

Day Four

Ah phew, we are back in hyperspace. The boy is tucked up in bed, with his lightsabre under his pillow, and we are taking Master C'Boath back to Yoda.

Today was a busy day. Busy day. I don't think there is a word in Galactic Basic to describe just how frenetic today was.
We had a tour of an Imperial Garrison.

Out in the desert, Fen spotted something flying overhead, and I identified it as a TIE Fighter. He asked how it landed without landing gear.
Now, if I had just quipped, "Badly", we probably could have avoided a whole load of trouble, but nooo, I am, and I put my hand up to this, a drama queen.

Field trip!

Microjump from the planet and then jump back to give the impression we have just arrived, comm' up the local garrison commander wearing a dark hood and pretend to be one of the Emperor's Sith agents; can I use their holocomm to contact Coruscant please. No way they'll believe me!

Would you buy me pretending to be one of Palpatine's operatives? Nope, me neither.

Garrison sends up a couple of TIEs, we swoop in with proton torpedoes and knock out their tractors.
Fun ensues.

But no! This guy, General Karpo, invites us down, full hospitality; he all but offers his daughter's hand in marriage.

*shrugs*

Fen and I disguise ourselves as Dark Jedi; master and apprentice. I eat Sith, they leave their clothes behind. I meant to give them to charity, but who has the time?

Anyway, leaving the bemused C'Boath on the ship, I take the boy down in the salon pod, and the commander greets us, even allowing my 'apprentice' to inspect his troops.



Afterwards, I got the commander to leave us alone in the communications room. Proud moment - we dial up the Imperial Palace, the padawan steps up into the holoproj booth, drops his trousers and wiggles his purple backside in a personal message of his own creation:

"I am Padawan Fenlaka Zula, of the Jedi Order. I present myself before you to suggest an update to Order 66. How about Order 67: Kiss My Ass."

Of course now, the boy cannot stop laughing.

"You have mooned the Emperor, Fen. You have taken your first step into a larger universe. Now stop giggling. At least long enough to reach the ship."

"I... I can't breathe."

"Deep breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth. You know, they do say laughter is good for the heart, but this is ridiculous."

I realise a flaw in the plan. A Sith Apprentice crying with laughter isn't going to get past even the General. We're drokked!

So it's time for some L.B.D.D., lightsabre-based derring-do. Barricade the door from the inside with furniture, put Laughing Boy in the corner while I go round the walls using my lightsabre to cut the edges of the floor and jumping on it, so yes, the entire drokking deck drops into the room one deck down.

Rather than plummeting like a brick on a heavy-gravity planet, it descended on a cushion of air that billowed fountains of dirt and debris up the sides. Not unlike riding a very big hoverboard.

I hope there was no-one down there.
By this time, as intended, it has dawned on Base Security that something is awry, and stormtroopers open fire from Level Three where we are now, and Level Four, where we left the barricade, forcing Fen to cover my back with his own lightsabre whilst I cut through the garrison's outer wall to create a gangplank of sorts, and remote call the salon pod round from the landing pad.

Not content with mooning the Emperor, Fen tops that with deflecting a laser bolt back into a trooper's groin, which causes them to back off. I'm not surprised! Which lightsabre form does that? Form IV Ataru, was it? I'll have to ask.
Anyway, after cutting through the outer wall, I still had to open it.

?Keep going, Dad. I?ll cover you.?

The still glowing rectangle of outer wall started to shift a bit.
Behind me, I could hear a fusillade of energy bolts being flung down

 

How did this 'moon high Imperials' thing spread?
I hope it's not infectuous. *moons Tarkin*


At least the mission got accomplished, even if I think C'Baoth went a little out of his way to inflict some more damage. But then he's not known for bein an exemplary Jedi.

But no! This guy, General Karpo, invites us down, full hospitality; he all but offers his daughter's hand in marriage.

Probably doesn't have a daughter.

 

Probably doesn't have a daughter.



I didn't know others had mooned senior Imperials!

 

In a companion piece to her diary, DarthIshtar has some OCs moon Vader.
It might be a diary thing...

 

Day Five

WOOT!

Or to expand, I had two naked jedi females soaping themselves and each other in my showers, the Twi?lek Clone Wars General, Aayla Secura, and the human Sabremaster, Emi-to Shuri.
There was a male as well, singing away in a separate stall, but for obvious reasons, I ignored him.

So how did this all come about?

We (Master C?Boath, Fen, myself) arrived at Dagobah, and from orbit, we sensed trouble! A padawan calling telepathically for help, so I took the ship into a emergency dive, and Fen and I rushed to see what we could do. Master C?Boath felt the same thing we did, but he was more interested in finding Master Yoda.
I can?t imagine he watched Thunderbirds when he was a kid.

Anyway, we found a distressed young woman, unconscious, all flowing white petticoats and bloody heavy. I recognised her instantly: Denni Sunwalker.

When I had been sent to rescue Master C?Boath, she had been possessed by a malicious Sith spirit calling itself Darth Drakoniss who refused to leave, and was trying to turn her to the Dark Side.

I gathered attempts to help her hadn?t gone well. Fen found the source of the distress calls; she had collapsed onto another padawan, and he, to his credit, hadn?t started panicking till she started drooling on him.

We removed both padawans to the medical bay aboard the Unlucky, where the boy checked out fine, but then who should visit us but Mister Drakoniss again! And this time, he?s turning out to be a right whack-job.
And visible. Last time, he was inside the girl.
This time, while she?s unconscious on a pallet, he was visible and standing beside her. Man-sized black shadow; piercing red eyes. I didn?t know whether he was a Sith or had been swimming without his goggles in chlorinated water.

Having the possessed girl on the same planet where the infant Luke Skywalker was being kept hidden wasn't exactly ideal circumstances, and I had already been called upon to keep her away from him.


?Want her kept clear of Luke I do. Distract her you must while Fei?Ona and Luke I find.? Yoda had said.

?On the way.? I stood, turning to stride purposefully after her.

?What are you going to do??

?I?m going to eat her, of course. That ought to distract her.?

?MITCH?!?

I couldn't help laughing. ?Frag?s sake! I?m frelling teasing you. Jovus. I?ll see if she?s up for a game of ?Kiss Chase? or something.?


Without taking my eyes off the Sith, I ordered Fen and the other boy, to go join the other children in the camp.

According to Drakoniss, if I understood his sing-songy speech correctly, he wasn?t the evil bastiche who was haunting her two days ago. Oh no. Listening to his latest line of guano, the attempted exorcism had been partially successful, and he was the ?good? version of Drakoniss, but still stuck in her body. He would release her on condition that the Jedi Order forgive his crimes and promise to train him and bring him back to the Light.
oh goodie, hostage negotiations. couldn't he have asked for a million Republic Daqtari in used bills like everyone else? I called for backup.

The aforementioned Secura, Shuri, Master Yoda and Denni?s master Kildarney, the camp Healer. By the way, that means the Healer for the camp; I don?t mean he does ?I?m a little teapot? impressions and is good at choosing drapes.

Negotiations were short.

Jedi ? ?We are not promising anything while you are in Denni. You need to leave first.?

Drakoniss ? ?Ha ha. Yes. A problem there. You see, I don?t actually know how to leave her. My other side knows all that stuff, and as you can imagine, is unlikely to cooperate. You jedi need to sort that out. Um. Sorry.?

Jedi ? ?Sith magic got you in. We are not Sith. We have no idea how to get you out.?

Me ? *sigh* ?Fine, if you want something doing, you gotta do it yourself.?

Nifesta 101. I generated power balls in my hands and fired the

 

I'M ABORTING THIS. I will probably use the thread, since it is here, to record Nifesta/ Fen posts I like.