Beyond - Legends "Unlovable" (post-DNT, spoilers)

Title: Unlovable
Author: DantanaSkywalker
Timeframe: post-Dark Nest
Characters: Jaina Solo, Kyp Durron
Genre: angst, romance
Keywords: mush, angst
Summary: Jaina ponders why things didn't work out with Cardboard, with a little help from Kyp; contains DNT speculation, spoilers
Author Notes: Lyrics are "Unlovable" by Darren Hayes


The last time she talked to him, she nearly smashed her comm as she signed off. Tears poured down her cheeks, spurred by anger, frustration, grief.

It was over. There really wasn't a way she could have kept it going, anyway. She just wished that he hadn't looked so- so unruffled and calm about it.

She stared at the comm for several more moments, then shoved the whole thing off her desk and watched it crash and break into hundreds of pieces.

"You okay?"

Jaina looked up, not caring very much how this appeared to the man in the doorway. "I'm fine. Go away."

"Okay. Let me know if you want to talk."

"I don't."

He held up his hands. "Point taken. Leaving now."

Kyp paused as he left, and looked back over his shoulder.

"You know," he murmured, "he was never good enough for you, anyway."

Are my lips unkissable? Are my eyes unlookable?
Is my skin untouchable? Am I unlovable?

She threw herself into her work with cleaning up the mess left over from the Yuuzhan Vong war. Countless planets, countless petty skirmishes with renegade Peace Brigaders, or revolutionists who tried to take advantage of the power vaccuum after the fall of Coruscant.

A week became a month. Months became a year, then two.

Three years later, she found herself at the edge of Chiss space, trying to sideline a war. Ironically, he tried to kill her after she saved his fleet's collective neck.

He said it wasn't intentional, he hadn't known she was flying the Killik craft. And yet . . . he'd told the Galactic Alliance military that it had been her involved with a preemptive strike against the Chiss because he'd recognised her flying.

And still she'd loved him.

Cynical jaded faithless disappointed disillusioned used
If I could take back all my sweat my tears my sex my joy I would
My time my love my effort passion dedication
In a case of mistaken identity I gave these things to you

She knew she shouldn't love him. It had been hard enough when they'd been together. She's somehow convinced herself during the war that they'd had a chance. After all, her parents had met during the galactic civil war. Why couldn't she and Jag make a go of it?

Deep down, she knew she'd been deluding herself. He'd hated public displays of affection. The few times they'd gotten to see each other, his primary interest had been in her body, not her mind. They'd run out of things to talk about a month into their relationship, and they'd dragged it on for another three years.

He'd jumped at the first chance to go back to Chiss space after Borleias, and he'd barely bothered to contact her during the following six months. Then he'd tried some stupid little stunt where he'd attacked her and kissed her in the dark, to "test" her feelings. She'd thrown him into a wall.

Really, that should have been indicative of how much they meant to each other. He never tried to talk to her about her anxieties about her parents when they hadn't been heard from in a while. Jag had brushed her off with hollow platitudes, barely pausing while running errands for his superiors to say hello.

She hadn't been the best girlfriend, either, but it was hard when he'd continually patted her on the head and responded with, "I understand, now can we find an empty conference room?"

Really, it was for the best that it was over, but it didn't make it hurt less.

I sound angry bitter sad infatuated it's the truth
Denial anger bargaining depression
Just a few stages of acceptance that it's really over
It's just so complicated
I'm stupid for believing in you

Looking back, nearly two years after the Killik incident, Jaina was amazed at how much she'd

 

I feel like humming the triumphant theme from RotJ...

Great to have a good writer on the scene. We missed you, Dana!

Now I gotta go find all your other fics and Topic-notify them again... *laughs* Such a pain...

Great job!!

~*~Austyn

 

Awwww. (almost forgets the huge age gap.)

Nice use of facts.

 

Wow, that was powerful! And a very interesting interpretation of canon.

Nicely written!

 

Ooooh wow. I need to hear this song, why haven't you had me listen to it before???

Love love love this story. So simple, and yet so cute, and the end, and the kiss, and her not slapping him, and him asking her if she's going to be doing the slapping, it all makes me grin. :-D

Soooo cute!!!! *squee*

Okay, I'm done. I think. I loooooooooooooove this!!!!

-Mia

 

Darren Hayes - I love Darren Hayes. I feel a great urge to dig out our Savage Garden tape from wayback.

Very nice viggie, Dana. I haven't read the DN books, but the viggie gives me enough context to be able to make the necessary connections in the storyline. Great dialogue as usual, and an interesting bit of self analysis on Jaina's part.

I'm curious about the reference you made to a niece. Have I missed something? Tell me it's not Jacen and Vergere!!!!!!

Good. She didn't want to be anything but herself.
Good for her - probably one of the most important lessons anyone can learn.

 

Beautifully done!

 

I'm usually a J/J fan, but very nice story.

You did a wonderful job of putting a spin on things that had happened with Jag and Jaina.

(Dark Nest Spoilers) Jacen and Tenel Ka had a daughter secretly.

 

Daaaanaaaaaa!

::Lights fireworks::

Last time I read something of yours here, Kyp/Jaina was just a mild amusement for me--believable, but not the first pairing that came to mind.

I think that now, though, I can appreciate the way you write them much better than I used to be able to. This is an excellent 'fic. Maybe I'm morbid at the moment, but I really enjoyed reading all the ugliness about Jaina and Jag's relationship. The drifting apart, the misunderstandings, the little comments that come off as rude and snide--you've got it down really well.

So welcome back, oh many-times-esteemed author of Kyp/Jaina fanfiction and beyond. Reading the two or three vignettes off of the website you sent me the link to back in the day just wasn't enough for me.

 

Dana is back! Hurrah!

This is a beautiful comeback, Dana. Thank you. That was a great work in dissecting what was really wrong in J/J relationship and I have to say I agree with almost all of your points. The one and only gripe I have with that is that it took Jaina 10 years to understand them. I know, I know, continuity demands, but I didn't read DNT and for me it seems a bit outstretched. But just a bit.

A.

PS. You might want to check on the newest challenge in Kyp's characterization thread in Resource. It looks promising and I, personally, would have loved to see you participating.

 

Daughterofflame - I feel like humming the triumphant theme from RotJ...

LOL!

Great to have a good writer on the scene. happy We missed you, Dana!

I missed you guys, too.

Now I gotta go find all your other fics and Topic-notify them again... *laughs* Such a pain...

Not sure which of those I'll be unlocking and/or continuing here. But I may post something new from time to time. KAJSU, of course, gets first-run of anything I write.

Great job!!

Thanks.


SpiritofEowyn - Awwww. (almost forgets the huge age gap.)

Hey, it's only three more years than Han and Leia.

Nice use of facts.

Thanks.


LittleAlbatross - Nice name!

Wow, that was powerful! And a very interesting interpretation of canon.

Thanks. Just goes to show that everything in the books is open to interpretation.

Nicely written! happy

Thank you.


MiaTieska - Ooooh wow. I need to hear this song, why haven't you had me listen to it before???

I probably have, you just don't remember? Don't worry, I'll make you listen to it soon enough.

Love love love this story. So simple, and yet so cute, and the end, and the kiss, and her not slapping him, and him asking her if she's going to be doing the slapping, it all makes me grin. :-D
Soooo cute!!!! *squee*

Hee. It ended up mushier at the end than originally intended, but IMO, that's a good thing.

Okay, I'm done. I think. I loooooooooooooove this!!!!

Good! And thank you.


Tahi - Darren Hayes - I love Darren Hayes. I feel a great urge to dig out our Savage Garden tape from wayback.

I love Darren, too! (Obviously.)

Very nice viggie, Dana. I haven't read the DN books, but the viggie gives me enough context to be able to make the necessary connections in the storyline. Great dialogue as usual, and an interesting bit of self analysis on Jaina's part. happy

Thanks. A lot of it was speculation. I went through a self-analysis of this type both when I dumped my boyfriend and when I left these boards for a time. It was kind of cathartic.

I'm curious about the reference you made to a niece. Have I missed something? Tell me it's not Jacen and Vergere!!!!!!

LOL! *shudders* Force, that would be AWFUL! *pictures human-bird hybrid baby gone wrong thing*

Good. She didn't want to be anything but herself.
Good for her - probably one of the most important lessons anyone can learn. happy

Yup, just about. And it's a hard one, too.


VaderLVR64 - Beautifully done! applause

Thank you.


princess_of_naboo - I'm usually a J/J fan, but very nice story.
You did a wonderful job of putting a spin on things that had happened with Jag and Jaina.

Thanks. And thank you for taking the time to read outside your 'ship.

Tahi posted:I'm curious about the reference you made to a niece. Have I missed something? Tell me it's not Jacen and Vergere!!!!!!

(Dark Nest Spoilers) Jacen and Tenel Ka had a daughter secretly.

Yup. And a name would have been nice, wouldn't it?



TheCrazyRodian - Daaaanaaaaaa!
::Lights fireworks::

Wow, that was quite the greeting! *blinks and waits for vision to return*

Last time I read something of yours here, Kyp/Jaina was just a mild amusement for me--believable, but not the first pairing that came to mind.

Understandable.

I think that now, though, I can appreciate the way you write them much better than I used to be able to. This is an excellent 'fic. Maybe I'm morbid at the moment, but I really enjoyed reading all the ugliness about Jaina and Jag's relationship. The drifting apart, the misunderstandings, the little comments that come off as rude and snide--you've got it down really well.

Thank you. Can you believe I wrote this in one sitting? I mostly wanted something that fit with the lyrics of the song, and it just so h

 

Wow, this was wonderful, Dana. Great story! I loved the chemistry between the two.

Kyp

 

wonderfully written I've missed your Kyp/Jaina stories.

Are you gonna finish your other stories too? Just wondering

 

Very nice, Dantana. Ver nice indeed. I loved the listing of Jag's faults and how much of a jerk he was (Of course, you'd expect that from me). And yeah, you wrote J/K quite nicely here. Kudos, dudette.

 

Eep, didn't have this one on my ATNs!

Thanks. It kind of . . . This one just came out of me and . . . Yeah. It wasn't what I was intending, or anything, so I'm surprised that people like it. I mean, besides those who hate Jag.

Thanks.

Not sure. At least one of them I will not be finishing here, but the others I may resurrect in time.

And I didn't use anything that wasn't actually in the books, ha ha. I may have. . . taken a slightly different perspective on an incident or two, but pretty much everything is an event in the books.

Thanks for reading!



Dana

 

It seems I have broken away from being a diehard J/zer.

This is very good. You made jaina and Kyp seem prefect. I liked bashing Jag. Sorry but I can't stand the guy. Well, in a couple fics he is okay but gotta love bashing him time and again.

Well,all in all,a very lovly fic.

 

Another great fic. Loved the Jag "bashing." I don't like Jag either. I really hope Canon don't eventually put Jaina with Jag.

FL

 

Lovely work, Dana.

 

Ah since it's Christmas I won't break the rules of this forum...

 

Wow, that's so gracious of you.

Keep posting your work, Dana, I love it.

-Mia

 

Thank you. Believe it or not, I used to be a J/Zer, until Greg Keyes converted me to K/J.

Heh heh, thanks. Well, we'll see what happens with LOTF. Don't know if you've read "Swarm War" yet, but Jag apparently dies when Leia shoots him down with the Falcon. And at the end of the book, he's been lying in a ravine for over a week. I don't think his chances of survival are very good.

Thanks.

Awww, thanks.


Dana