Before Unsung (Obi/Qui, angst, mush, JA) - *Complete* - Author Replies - 27/06

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Princess_Arulmozhi, Mar 26, 2006.

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  1. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    Title: Unsung
    Author:p_A
    Genre: Angst, Mush
    Characters: Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Ada Areilein
    Summary: Enlightenment can take any form, and may come from anyone.
    Notes: I'm going through a bad patch, and the last two weeks were particularly horrible (it still is), and I wanted to write something to get out of it. I happened to listen to a few folksongs, and they were what set this fic in motion. I also thought of making it an entry for the 'Obi-Sings' Challenge ... but as usual, it went too long. I'm splitting it up and posting.

    *********

    Part I

    Usually, there would be the soft clatter of cups and plates in the cooking area, accompanied by the aroma of sweetened tea, garnished with herbal essences. Or, if neither of its occupants felt like pottering about with plates and saucers, the muted sounds of a soft cloth wiping across the slightly counter.

    Usually, there would be a general air of settling down, bags being unpacked, doors opened and closed, window embrasures opened to let the air of Coruscant ? however unclean it might be in the nether regions, one nearly always got some semblance of freshness on the upper levels ? inside chambers locked up for weeks or even months.

    Usually, either one voice ? deep, rich and controlled would speak of something, both consequential and otherwise, with another voice ? low, well-pitched, and tinged with the deep core accent polished individual always prized so much ? and enjoy a conversation until the hours of bed approached.

    Usually, there would be an aura of peace, sometimes, of a mission well accomplished. Or sometimes, apprehension and worry, if one or the other happened to be injured. Deep, involved discussions regarding the aftermath of a debriefing.

    Usually.

    This time, a deep, stifling silence pervaded their chambers.

    Within his room, Obi-Wan Kenobi opened his small, space-saving case and put away his meagre belongings, tunics and legging and soft shoes. His hand hovered over his light-sabre, as though debating about whether he should remove this too, and then decided against it. He stood up from his bent posture, feeling his sore back give a twinge, and massaged the aching muscle. He put away his bag, looking forward to freshening up himself ? it felt as though he had all of the Se?emarian plain?s soil plastered onto him. If it felt this way for him, then he could barely imagine how it felt for Qui-Go?

    He stopped midway, fingered his braid thoughtfully, feeling that it too, needed washing, and was about to walk out of his room when his com-link beeped.

    For a moment, he thought it was Qui-Gon himself calling?this had been their almost only method of communication, as long as they had remained on planet?before remembering that Qui-Gon was in his chamber, just a door away from him, and would hardly use a com-link to speak with him.

    On the other hand, one never knew exactly what Qui-Gon might do. He had certainly refused to contact his padawan through their bond for the past week, and whatever conversation they had had, had been brief, sporadic, and very much to the point.

    He paused in mid stride, feeling the long-lost, familiar prickle of dread, coupled with a slightly sickening feeling of having disappointed Qui-Gon, and swiftly tried to banish it. Qui-Gon had never really railed at Obi-Wan regarding his doings on any mission, other than point out his errors in that cool, clear voice of his that made one want to cringe and retire into some deep dark hole forever. Even that had stopped of recent times as their bond grew in strength, and as both acclimatized to each other, understanding each others? strengths and weaknesses. He still felt a tiny thrill of pleasure when he remembered one or two missions when their thoughts and impulses had been identical.

    There had been something deeply fulfilling about that oneness.

    Over the five years that marked his apprenticeship with Jedi master Qui-Gon Jinn, he had begun to look forward to those periods when his focus reached such
  2. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    Well, Well trust Qui-Gon to be his usual abrasive self
    how any padawan could live up to his ideals
    is beyond comprehension.

    Or to put it bluntly "What an aggravating pain in the Bu....is Qui-Gon

    I look forward to more=D=
  3. River_Stone Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 7, 2005
    star 1
    Qui-Gon is quite obviously melancholy but I can't help but wonder over the exact reason why this has occurred. Feelings of such depression which seem to be clinging to the Jedi Master seem to also be dictating or at least shaping his opinion on other matters, such as the actions of his Padawan and the mission. I wonder if it is a mixture of Qui-Gon feeling that he has failed combined with, perhaps, an echo of his former beliefs of unworthiness (projected onto Obi-Wan?) mixed with a sedate knowledge that Obi-Wan will eventually leave his side, and so he aims to find fault with him in order to rationalise keeping him close.

    Your ability ro capture these characters is second to none, my dear. You understand the darker elements of their characters to create a realism that few others can replicate.

    My dear, you are wonderful, as always.
  4. MASTER_KAYM Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 1
    I think I'm gonna love this one!! It's really good :) I can't wait for more!
  5. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Qui-Gon's mind is certainly full of strange misgivings and I'm not quite sure what happened to have him thinking as he is. And poor Obi-Wan sitting by waiting for the same understanding. I really like how qui-Gon seems to know what may be going on wit Obi-Wan and Master Ada.

    Might I ask for a PM when this is updated? :)
  6. Noelie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 11, 2005
    star 4
    I have always found your style of writing excellent.

    You certainly have the ability to capture our interest and keep it, even if I see the characters in a different light.

    I do envy and respect your awesome talent. I will wait for the second half with great interest.
  7. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    I loved that Qui-Gon is feeling his age and the anxiety of knowing that his Padawan is growing up into a fine Jedi - leaving him. It's not so much what he said as what he didn't say. I suppose that he also wants Obi-Wan to be a little more free, all that talk about control and perfect Padawan. I'm sure such a rogue Jedi would not want his Padawan to be so perfect.
    And poor Obi-Wan not knowing what he thinks he had done wrong when he had done nothing to deserve it.

    Great job as always. I assume that the next post will include singing?

    Hope you are feeling better.
  8. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5


    He went through every word Obi-Wan had, analysing it as though it were a coded message. Master Ada. Creche. Meeting. Ten or Fifteen knights. The hour of the?

    He sat up suddenly, intrigued. Could it be? It could. One never knew. And yet?

    He rose, threw a cloak around himself, and walked out.



    My, my, what have we here? A brooding Jedi Master even after a successful mission. Poor Qui, he needs a hug.

    The plot thickens -- what a horrible cliffe you left us at.


    I hope you feel better soon, lady! [:D]If you ever need anything, my pm box is always open :)
  9. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Aaaaah, very nice contemplation from both of them! Obi-Wan did everything right and Qui-Gon is upset because he did everything too right, though I have a feeling that he's really just upset about the no-win mission they were one.

    The 'Obi Sings' challenge sort of gives away what Obi-Wan's meeting is probably about. [face_mischief] I think it still can be part of the challenge if post a link to it in the challenge thread?

    Hope you're feeling better soon, and that the writing helped, P_A!
  10. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    He clenched his fist, feeling a sudden spurt of anger. Irrational, unnecessary. He thought of that serene face, with its jewelled eyes, and guileless expression. Yes, Master. No Master. As you wish, Master.

    Master.

    He had a sudden impulse to catch Obi-Wan by the boy?s slender neck and shake the life out of?


    Uh, uh. Not good. Is Qui-Gon being nasty or did something happen to him...the reader awaits.

    Definitely intrigued by this story and can't wait for more.

    =D= [face_love] @};-
  11. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    This has a lovely cadence to it and interesting plot so far.
  12. Obi_Kenobi_Devotee Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2004
    star 1
    Your stories always leave me hooked. I look forward to an update. :D
  13. Dragonlady Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 1, 2005
    star 1
    This is completely and utterly fascinating. From the looks of this it's going to be one of your best, and that's saying something. :) I don't know what it is about this first chapter that enthralled me so--whether it was Qui-Gon's unexplainable unhappiness with Obi-Wan and his palpable weariness from a mission that seemed fairly routine, or Obi-Wan's wonderfully portrayed emotions and his connection with the creche master--but something most definitely did. And I'm most curious to see what this meeting is all about. Amazing job as always, and I hope DRL treats you with more kindness in the time to come.
  14. DarthMousche Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 16, 2005
    star 3
    Oh, it seems Qui-Gon is having some issues. I get the feeling that he wishes Obi-Wan were a little less perfect, less eager to please, maybe a little bit more assertive and enterprising when it comes to working through their scrapes? And, of course, any master would probably feel guilty for having negative sentiments about a student who is so devoted and loyal and hard-working.

    But I could be completely wrong. :p

    Anyway, you've hooked me again, and I look forward to finding out more about this little soiree Obi is headed off to.
  15. -Darksaber- Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 22, 2005
    star 3
    Oh, I know I'm just gonna love this....Just like I love anything you write, P_A.... [:D]

    Hmm...Very interesting....Heh, is Obi-Wan gonna meet some younglings? :p

    -DS
  16. Just_Jill Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 17, 2002
    star 3
    I can't remember why I might not have reviewed this -

    There's a lot of information we don't have. I'd really like to know why Qui-Gon feels the way he does - there must be something to it.

    Lovely idea - can't wait to see what becomes of it!

    Just Jill
  17. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    One more instalment. This once just...turned out the way it is. Can't imagine why. ;)

    Replies soon.Thank you all for the wishes. I'm better, now. [:D]

    ***************

    Part II


    It was, he mused, unusual for anyone to refer to an hour as the ?Song bird? hour. Few people did it: knights and Jedi who had been within the Temple for long, and who professed an interest in archaic traditions and cultures. It immediately brought back to mind age old customs and long forgotten eras, in which had lived great Jedi and small.

    The song-bird hour referred to the hour of twilight.

    In olden days, when the Jedi Temple was not the monument it was, and when Jedi were perhaps, used to living more of their life outdoors than they did now?even within the Temple?there must have been some kind of tradition that bound them to this hour. There were still Jedi who meditated at the song-bird hour, claiming that this hour possessed a cleansing quality. To Qui-Gon Jinn, all hours were the same, save the early morning ones. He supposed this was what those Jedi had felt too.

    He desisted from asking anyone for directions, nor comming Obi-Wan for his destination; his padawan?s faint Force aura was visible in his mind?s eye, and it wasn?t difficult to follow his trail if he concentrated. Obi-Wan?s signature contained, moreover, an elusive something that had been lacking all this while. Some spark of delighted anticipation, perhaps?

    A wild fantasy erupted within his imagination. Perhaps it was an assignation. Of the romantic sort. He remembered the way Obi-Wan?s eyes had followed one particular Jedi padawan, during one of their stints in the Temple some time ago. Tachi?

    But no. One would hardly make romantic assignations with ten or fifteen Jedi knights and the crèche master in attendance.

    He smiled. And certainly not Obi-Wan, who seemed to have severed all ties with padawan Tachi, of late.

    He had thrown his cloak over himself, pulling the hood well over his eyes?even so, a good many of the Jedi who passed him appeared to recognize him, and made some sort of greeting. The great Qui-Gon Jinn was passing through the halls, he thought, twisting his lips. Qui-Gon Jinn, who had mastered his self so perfectly that he had cleansed himself of the taint and sorrow of his second padawan?s turning, to taking another, and training him to perfection, besides handling high priority missions as though it were a party in the Chancellor?s private gardens.

    Indeed.

    He still remembered how surprised he had been, when he had heard this whispered in the senior masters? seclusion chambers many weeks ago.

    Ahead of him, Obi-Wan seemed to have reached his destination. He walked along one dimly lit corridor, and stopped in front of a nondescript door, which was located very near the Gardens of Tranquillity. He hesitated for a moment, fingers poised above the control panel, trying to sense the auras of those within.

    Suddenly he did not feel that his errand had been a fruitful one: following one?s own padawan did not seem the right thing to have done. But Obi-Wan had invited him, after all, and he had merely accepted the invitation.

    After a fashion.

    His dilemma was solved by another factor: another Jedi knight appeared, walking along the silent corridors, boots tapping hollowly, and came to the door. He pushed back his hood, revealing long waves of silver hair?a rather young knight, perhaps in his early thirties. He stopped, surprise etched on his face. Then, he recovered.

    ?Master Jinn,? he said pleasantly. ?We were hoping you might make an appearance, some day.?

    ?Ah.?

    ?Padawan Kenobi has arrived too, I presume??

    ?Yes.? Qui-Gon searched his memory for what the knight?s name might be. Hallan? Hallen? Hallon?

    ?Ah, excellent.? Hallan/Hallen/Hallon smiled again. ?One never knows what one can expect, from him.?

    ?Oh?? The confusion grew by every passing moment, if anything.

    ?Yes.? Hallan/Hallen/Hallon seemed to be inclined to speech, despite his slight look of awe at Qui-Gon. ?I must admi
  18. ___Sithspawn___ Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2004
    star 3
    I didn't expect that, though you should have seen my idiot grin when I realized Obi-Wan was going to sing.

    Lovely cliffhanger.
  19. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Oh, I am liking this...and somehow, I suspect, the next installment is going to be all mushy - right?

    Wonderful story as always....
  20. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    I loved that Qui-Gon didn't know his apprentice at all, and never realised it until now. That he knew that Obi-Wan liked to sing but never knew that he did this before people at the temple is telling. Perhaps they share too little of themselves with each other, thinking that missions and reports are enough. Never enough.
    I liked that Qui-Gon's mind was worried about a liason between Obi-Wan and the delvei?ish. Did he think Obi was a monk? Or chaste? And what of himself that he knew such things? Perhaps he needs to let go more often.

    Loved the cute sidestory about the reptilian creche master. That was adorable.

    Great job with this. I look forward to seeing Qui's reaction to Obi's choice of song.
  21. Dragonlady Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 1, 2005
    star 1
    I absolutely loved how you showcased both how strong Qui-Gon's and Obi-Wan's bond is and how there are hidden depths to Obi-Wan that even his Master doesn't know. I think too many authors focus on Qui-GonandObi-Wan without looking at Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, if you get my drift, and you're definitely not one of them. The imagery here was just amazing as well...I could see the "room" in my mind's eye, and it was beautiful.

    The concept of the delvei'ish is a fascinating one, and one that makes a lot of sense. I've never thought of the Jedi as entirely celibate, though I know many do. I think that for them to do their jobs well they need an understanding of human nature--of how and why people connect with each other (and by that I mean connection in all its forms)--and it would be hard to truly understand if they all were celibate. In any case, I really like the idea, and I like the depth it reveals in the Jedi Order itself.

    Oh, and the idea of Obi-Wan singing brings a huge smile to my face. Ewan McGregor's voice makes me extremely happy, especially in Moulin Rouge. I can't wait.
  22. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    Typical of Qui-Gon not really knowing
    his apprentice.
    I am glad he stayed in the room
    and now he will hear that beautiful voice
    of Obi-wan and I hope it puts a crack in
    Qui-Gons heart and allows some warmth and love to enter it
    and turn it from a heart of stone to a heart of love

    Lovely post=D=
  23. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    I am so enjoying this story, Princess. Maybe now Qui-Gon can finally really get to see who his apprentice "truly" is. [face_love]
  24. Just_Jill Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 17, 2002
    star 3
    I would like to see something like this from Obi-Wan's point of view, of discovering something of his Master that he didn't know. I think you'd handle it wonderfully.

    The sense of vague dissatisfaction - I'm VERY familiar with it - that Qui-Gon is feeling is brought out perfectly in his behaviour. I love how you do this.

    My only regret is that we won't get to hear Obi-Wan sing.

    Just Jill
  25. MASTER_KAYM Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 1
    Can we have a recording of Obi-Wan's beautiful voice? [face_batting]

    I'd like to hear him, but I guess I'll settle for one of your wonderful chapters! I really love where it's going :)
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