Saga Untitled post-TPM fic - Veruna's death, handmaidens - needs beta-ing!

Title: None as yet - any suggestions?
Author: Darth Sabé
Characters: Iaré (Own character, handmaiden), Veruna, Eirtaé, Amidala
Rating: G
Timescale: Three years after TPM
A/N: This is a fic I wrote after having a rare flash of inspiration, both for content and style. The handmaidens have always been my favourite characters, and I seem most drawn to fics covering their service to Amidala. We know very little about Veruna - he was king of Naboo for (I think) thirteen years before Amidala was voted his successor, prompted by his corruption and personal (verbal) attacks on her, and he later died. I could really do with a couple of beta readers for this - preferably very critical ones so I can balance suggestions - so if you'd like to volunteer . . .





In the end, we drew lots for it.

I doubt Amidala would have approved - such a weighty matter merited grave deliberation. But as she had said - though not in so many words; she is a politician - she didn't care who stepped forward or why, she simply wanted a volunteer.

Volunteer. Hah.

I drew the short straw of course; literally. Rabé, Saché and Yané sat back with audible sighs of relief; Sabé and Sanjé looked sympathetic, and Eirtaé - Eirtaé's face was impassive, unreadable.

I travelled across Theed with my escort of Royal Guardsmen to his mansion, which was, I thought when we stopped outside the gates, unusually grand for repatriated exile. A security guard came out to meet us, and after a few quiet words with the leader of my escort the gates opened and he gestured for us to follow him. Wet gravel crunched beneath my feet as we walked. It was a damp night and cold, though the rain had stopped some hours ago.

Our guide led us into the atrium of the house. The guards we met did not challenge us, but presented arms as we passed. We came to a door, and our guide knocked softly. A thin woman with greying hair emerged, and a short whispered exchange passed between the two.

She pitched her voice low as she addressed me. "He will see you now. Wait here," she said to my escort. I followed her into the room.

He lay on a bed by a diamond-paned window. One hand lay clenched on his chest and the other was lost in a tangle of blankets. His eyes were closed; his breathing shallow. "Sir?" said the women, "Queen's Voice Iaré Sisee is here to see you."

Veruna Farl-Satera, former king of Naboo, turned his head towards me and opened his cataract-blue eyes. "Come here, Queen's Voice. I was wondering when she'd remember me." His voice was quiet, but stronger than I had expected.

I approached him, my feet silent on the thick carpet. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the woman bow, and leave. At his bedside, overcome by unexpected reverence, I knelt.

"Rise, child. I may be dying, but I am still alive. I advise you to save your empty gesures for my funeral."

I had expected such a distinguised (if disgraced) noble to have more tact.

I rose, and seated myself on a stool at his head. I resisted the urge to twist a fold of my gown between my fingers like a frightened girl and began my speech. "It is with the most sincere respect that Queen Amidala of the Naboo sends her greetings. Her Highness recognises with gratitude your service to your world and it's government; and wishes to reassure you that she bears no bitterness against you. She prays daily to the gods that you will recover swiftly and grace our days once again."

Veruna stared up at the ceiling. "How it must disgust you, to be here. Alone in a room with a dying man."

I had been uncomfortable, but now I felt sick. I swallowed my revulsion. "Her Highness was genuinely distressed when she heard the news."

"Oh, of course she was. She is a girl, and a Naboo girl at that. One such as she should not be touched by death."

Why must he keep coming back to that? "Such is the handmaiden's prayer."

I looked around the room, anything to distract me from the ghoulish figure on the bed. His med droid stood dormant in a corner, its blinking light the only sign its power was on at all.

"My niec

 

Wow, that was powerfully sad. I loved the blessing.

 

I really liked this. I agree that there are very few fics that look that the handmaidens and their individual traits and duties. I especially liked your OC and the line of thoughts she had while visiting Veruna. This is very good. Are you considering continuing this? As for a title, I would suggest something like 'The call of a handmaiden' or 'A handmaiden's voice.' Oh well, enjoyed this alot.

 

Thanks! There's a discussion going on over on padawansguide.com about the symbol that appears on many of Padmé's outfits - that it's a lotus (which may also be the meaning of her name), and may be Naboo's national symbol. Also I had to find a fairly euphemistic way for the Naboo to talk about death

 

Very nice, DarthSabe! I'm a handmaiden fan, too, so always glad to see a good HM fic. This is too good not to have a proper title, though. Do try to think of one...

And please write more stories about the Handmaidens!

 

And please write more stories about the Handmaidens!

In progress as we speak . . .

 

Very, very good fic here. I've always wondered about the monarch before Amidala, and you've portrayed him very well, a very sad, graying monarch. I also love the last sentence--by whom indeed?

But now I'm curious about Iare!

 

This is really good. It's been a month or so since I first read it, and I still remember it, which is a good sign. What do I like most? Well, handmaidens. That's a given. I also like how you explored a character--Veruna--who I doubt gets much fan fiction time.

If you're still having difficulty with a title, I think something like "Handmaiden's Voice" or "Queen's Voice" might work.

I don't know if you've considered submitting this to the fan fiction archives, or whether you would want to. I don't know much about their submission processes, but I think it should have a chance.

Anyway, I see you're working on more handmaiden stories. Good luck with that!

 

Needs betain' eh? Well I most confess that I am extremely tempted because, and there are no other words, this story is 'Impressive. Most impressive.'! Clever wit and the parry between the handmaiden and the old King almost intimidated me with its sheer intelligence. One really gets the sense that these are high-bred, educated elitists - people trained from a tender age to use words like knives.

A continuation would be nice but it stands very well alone, all the same. If you have other stories that are half as good, I'd really like to know.

As for a title? Well I don't have a very exciting suggestion but 'Death of a King' pretty much sums up the tale, doesn't it?

 

Aw, man, another handmaiden fic and I didn't catch it? I'm getting weak... anyways, must agree w/ everyone else; it is great writing! Love the two new handmaidens! And making Eirtae Veruna's neice is a very nice twist! Your characterization of Veruna is really great!

HEhe, needs betaing eh? I would volenteer but I think l_n would do a better job. Unless you want two...

 

leia_naberrie, bobilll, your beta-ing would be most appreciated! PM me if you're still interested. And feel free to berate me for ungratefuly taking so long to reply.