Unwanted Allies, Unexpected Enemies (another fic by me)

I have one other post that I could post, but I might save it until I have a little more written. I was busy yesterday with the Derby and my best friend's 16th b-day party so I didn't get much done. Plus, I had to re-write a chapter in Oath.

I NEED YOUR HELP! This story's been wearing thin on me. Could you please tell me what things you like, don't like about it, or stuff you find confusing or overused?? It would help me and maybe get me some motiviation

~Amidolee~

 

Will no one answer my plea? I'm really trying but I feel as if I'm writing something that is turning boring and is running in a circle (which I hope to pick up within the next few posts)

Here's a post

***********

The next two hours were spent by Allai telling the Jedi everything and anything she knew about the Rwettes and anyone else in the Terrine sector. Both Jedi listened carefully, only interrupting to ask a question or two when they needed more detail. When there was something that was a little murky and she couldn?t quite explain, the Padawan seemed to almost sigh, as if expecting her to be lying or holding information back. There were several occasions where Allai had to hold her temper in check and remain polite.

? . . . and that?s about it,? Allai concluded, taking a sip out of the water Qui-Gon had provided. ?Now, Master Jedi, you must tell me what you know. And what Councilor Kaak knows.?

Qui-Gon leaned back in his chair. ?Councilor Kaak appears to be straight-forward and sincere about his position. He has asked for our help, which we cannot give in the way he wants us too. Unless, he takes the case to the Republic Senate-?

?Which would take too long and be likely ignored,? Allai finished. ?What has he told you??

?He suspects that the Rwettes are a front for some other coup or force seeking control of the Terrine sector,? Qui-Gon said, brow furrowing. ?He?s been vague in some areas and very thorough in others. He emphasized that he can?t trust anyone, not even Governor Desrin or the other councilors.?

Allai nodded and tapped a finger on her glass, thinking for a moment. ?I beginning to think that my own agency is in this somehow.?

Kenobi looked at his Master sharply. He clearly didn?t like trusting someone who was most likely the enemy and a spy. There was some silent communication between the two, but Allai just waited for them to settle the debate. Her people had never taken a liking to the Jedi, but she respected the Master and could easily work with him. His skeptical apprentice, on the other
hand . . .

?What is your plan?? Qui-Gon asked after a bit.

?My plan?? Allai raised an eyebrow at him. ?Is to discover who the ring-leader is. If we discover whom that is and catch them, the rest will fall. Chop the serpent?s head and it dies.?

?It?s more difficult than it sounds,? Kenobi frowned.

Allai turned to him, giving him her own smug look. ?Are you saying that it is a foolish idea to save innocent people? That we should wait until a major war springs up??

?No,? Kenobi glared back. He looked ready to spring into a full argument, but Qui-Gon sent him a silent signal. The apprentice gave him a cool look, then glanced back at Allai. ?Do you have a real plan? Or are we supposed to think it up??

You little nerf-herder, Allai thought darkly. What gave him the right to think he was so superior to her that she couldn?t think for herself? One minute he was saying that she was a spy and that she was fooling them; and the next he was treating her like she was some Hutt?s dancer! ?I will have you know, Obi-Wan Kenobi,? she said in an icy voice. ?That if it wasn?t for me you would be star dust or being tortured at this very moment by some Rwette or gods know what else, if it wasn?t for my quick-thinking and tolerance for pathetic lifeforms like yourself!? There was a definate reaction to her words. Mostly on her mention of torture, which made her rather curious. Her temper eased and she said calmly. ?I can leave anytime you want me to, Master Jedi, I can do this myself.?

?That won?t be necessary,? Qui-Gon said soothingly, darting glances between her and his seething Padawan. There was a note of concern for the latter in his eyes. ?We don?t know enough to come up with one plan. We will be patient. In the meantime, we would still acquire what help you will give us.?

?In the meantime,? Allai countered. ?Your apprentice will not treat me as if I?m some Hutt?s prize and will give me my weapons back.?

?Give her the weapons, Obi-Wan,? Qui-Gon ordered.

The Padawan sl

 

YEA MORE! Very good, I like it. Let's see. Nothing's overly confusing. I kinda want to know more about Allai's group that she's in. A little more background on what's happening would be nice, like explain in a little more detail why the Jedi were called in the first place? Um. . .it's hard, this story's really good. . .A little more with just Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, just a scene or so. I don't know, whateve comes to mind. Post soon.

 

come on, I can't see my post!!! Where in Sith hells is it???

 

The Jedi had left over an hour ago to speak with Councilor Kaak, leaving Allai to listen in with her little hearing bugs, which Obi-Wan had been sure to point out were the same devices that she had used to spy on them. Qui-Gon had reminded him that then they knew it would work. Allai was beginning to like the Jedi Master more and more.

And she was one to take advantage of life could offer her. At the present moment, she was reclining lazily on the couch, listening to the Jedi discussing the situation with the Rwettes. For being only a councilor, Kaak knew a lot.

?I will see that you get a private ship to take to Inglus,? Kaak was saying. ?I trust you can pilot it? Good. Trustant Vindu of Inglus will see to your well-fare while you?re there. He is one of the few politicians I trust around here.?

?We thank you for your help,? Qui-Gon said graciously.

?No, Master Jedi, I should be thanking you,? Kaak replied.

Allai heard a faint beep over the line and she frowned, recognizing the transmission coming from the other side.

There was a silence, then Kaak spoke gravely. ?I fear that Governor Dresin has just been assassinated.?

 

Why do I fear this is not a good thing?


More awesome posts, must have more.

 

MORE! MORE! MORE! POST MORE! Great story

 

All together now, post.

 

Sorry I didn't reply before, but I got sidetracked. There's nothing overly confusing in this story, well, nothing that a few more posts won't clear up. I know you can't explain everything at the beginning, but you've left enough hints to point to great things coming soon (hint--soon). I especially like the antipathy between Allai and Obi-Wan, and the reference to "pathetic life forms" and "torture". That was great! And the way that Allai gets on increasingly well with Qui-Gon. Also, the interesting organisation that Allai belongs to, or used to, and the intriguing stuff going on in the background.

I can't understand why you say this story is wearing thin on you. It's certainly not wearing thin on me! I'd like to read more.

I suppose it wouldn't help things between Allai and Obi-Wan if Obi-Wan got kidnapped or captured (for whatever reason) and Allai had to come in and save his prideful posterior. No, that wouldn't help at all. I'm sure you have something better in mind, though, so keep writing!

 

Chap 8

The door hissed open and the Jedi walked in. Allai was lounging at the table, long limbs propped up on the top, chair tilted back. As soon as the door shut, Kenobi spun on her.

?Busy day?? he asked, a threatening menace in his tone.

?Not really,? Allai shrugged, knowing full well where the Jedi was going on this.

?I guess assassinating a planet?s ruler doesn?t take long, does it?? Obi-Wan said in an almost mocking tone, mimicking her usually cheeky comments.

Allai let the chair fall to its all-fours with a thud. ?I did not kill Governor Desrin, Obi-Wan Kenobi,? she said slowly and calmly, although a hint of anger showed through. She stood up to her full height and stared him straight in the eye. ?I do not go around killing people. Not without reason. If I did, you would have been dead days ago.?

The Padawan glared back at her, eyes penetrating through hers. She gazed back unflinchingly. She was sick of putting up with him and would have left already if it wasn?t for the innocence of Lokiar and the other worlds of the Terrine sector.

?We are getting no where by this,? Qui-Gon Jinn said soothingly. ?Allai is not responsible for the governor?s death, Padawan.? The Jedi glanced at her. ?She has done exactly what I told her to do.?

You killed the governor? Allai could almost image the paranoid apprentice asking his master if he was behind the whole charade. Her lip twitched and she almost laughed because Kenobi chose the moment to dart a look at his Master. Both Jedi fastened their eyes on her and the amusement vanished. She looked at Qui-Gon. ?The Rwettes had threatened the governor when I was spying on him. The suspected he was the one that had sent for you?? she stopped suddenly. ?Oh, gods, if they find out it was Kaak, he?ll be next!?

Qui-Gon nodded. ?Yes, I am aware of that. All the more need for us to leave this facility and make contact with Inglus.?

?Sorry, my ever-thoughtful co-workers decided it would be fun to use my ship as a fireworks display,? Allai said. ?We won?t have that wonderfully supplied vessel.?

Obi-Wan shot her a look that clearly said, ?what do you mean ?we??? Allai just meant his look with a smirk. ?Oh, come now, Obi,? she taunted. ?You still don?t really think I?m some cold-blooded killer, do you??

?It has crossed my mind,? came Obi-Wan?s reply.

?Hey, you?re getting better at that,? Allai congratulated. ?Pretty soon you can have better comebacks than any Corellian smuggler.?

?You would know??

?That is enough!? Qui-Gon said sharply. ?You are twenty-one, Padawan, and should be able to use a little self-control.? Allai smirked at Kenobi, but then Qui-Gon turned his icy-blue gaze on her. ?And you, Miss Du?lin, stop antagonizing him, even when I know it?s so tempting.?

Allai nodded dutifully, shooting a look at Kenobi, who was now smarting over his Master?s remark. ?Yes, Master,? she said, imitating Kenobi?s accent perfectly.

 

I love this! It's great. That girl is just begging for trouble. Post more soon. As you can see, I check regularly.

 

Now that would be a pity, if one of the cleanest politicians that Allai knew should get assassinated. They're definitely a rare breed. Go, Jedi, save him!

I love the interaction between Allai and Obi-Wan. It really gives the story a lot of pep! More, more!

 

I love the dimensions to your characters, especially Allai. Post more soon.

 

I like responeses

Okay, I have driver's ed and a ton of stuff tonight, but I'm trying to finish the next post. It may be up tonight, and it might not. Sorry

Hmm. . . Obi get kidnapped, Allai rescue him? That would give her the opportunity to call him a "damsel in distress", now wouldn't it? Hehe... just having some fun

Last night when I was trying to come up with missing part in the later plot, I had a picture of Entrapment in my head, only Allai was purposely stepping on his toes and he was reaching for his lightsaber. . .

 

Sorry, guys!! Here's the next post!

************

Allai had sneaked inside the ship before the councilor escorted the Jedi to the vessel, which had been dubbed ?Starseed?. The Jedi entered and she waited until the ship was rocketing away and into the atmosphere before coming up into the cockpit. She thought about sneaking up and pulling a blaster on Kenobi, but thought better of it if she wanted to keep her hand.

?Watch out for those asteroids,? Allai said cheerfully, stepping into the cockpit.

Qui-Gon turned and nodded neutrally to her. ?Thank you for the advice.? Kenobi ignored her completely, pretending that flying a ship through hyperspace was a manual job. ?We?ll be in hyperspace for only a few minutes. How do you want to disembark??

?On my head,? Allai said, ignoring Kenobi?s muttering. ?Are we meeting anyone important??

?The councilor?s contact,? Qui-Gon mused. ?I don?t know where we?ll be residing, so it may be best if you reveal yourself.?

?Or it makes you an even bigger target,? Allai pointed out.

?That could be a problem,? Qui-Gon agreed.

?Could I masquerade as your servant or something?? Allai suggested.

?Jedi do not own servents.?

Allai clucked her tongue, thinking of a solution. She glanced over at Kenobi, and a devilish thought crossed her mind. She smirked at the idea, so as not to laugh. Wouldn?t it be interesting to pretend to be the Knight?s escort girl? Of course it would never work out because one of them would kill the other before they even stepped off the ship.

?Coming out of hyperspace,? Kenobi said to no one in particular. The star lines returned to pinpricks of stars.

Far in the distance, the red planet of Inglus was in it?s shadow. Even closer was the small freighter starship hailing them. It had Republic markings, but had no other detail. Kenobi replied the hail and then the trans button crackled.

?Ah, welcome visitors,? an Inglus voice greeted. ?Nice weather out here, isn?t it??

?Yes it is,? Qui-Gon responded, raising an eyebrow at Allai. ?And how is the weather down there??

?Ah, not so well,? the other replied. ?A storm?s brewing up.?

?Then we must seek shelter,? Qui-Gon replied. Allai nodded recognizing the code Kaak had set up for them. Everything was working to plan so far, which was just enough to set her on edge.

They followed their escort in towards the planet.

 

Very good! Post more soon. I like, I like. My friend RogueJai says that she like it too, but she's sithly and never replies. She's bad *Ejedir whacks her hand*. She also says that you must post more on Oath. Post more here too. PLEASE!

 

They landed in a private hangar, which Allai assumed belonged to Trustant Vindu. A lone humanoid disembarked from the escort ship and waited at the bottom of the Jedi?s ship?s ramp. Obi-Wan shut the ship?s engines down and then they disembarked, Allai trailing behind them.

The Umgal greeted them with a bow, his eyes flicking over to Allai. ?I am Vindu.?

?I am Qui-Gon Jinn and this is Obi-Wan Kenobi,? the Master began. He turned to Allai. ?And this is--?

?Allai Du?lin,? she said, stepping past the Jedi. ?I?m sharing the Jedi in their services.? It was a vague statement, but Vindu didn?t seem to mind.

?Very well,? Vindu nodded. ?Let us get straight to the crisis at hand.?

The trustant led them into a building attached to the hangar. He didn?t have any guards standing around and Allai wondered just how high-ranking trustants were in the Umgal hiearchy. The Umgal showed them inside a sparsely furnished builing that was cool and airy, but with little decoration or windows. The Umgals weren?t too keen on basking in the sun, Allai recalled. The walls were steel gray and had no portraits or paintings hanging down.

They were hustled into a large, square room that was only furnished with a long table and occupied by two Umgals. The Jedi took everything in one glance and Allai felt her muscles tense at the sight of the waiting Umgals.

?These are my offspring,? Vindu gestured to the young Umgals. ?They are very concerned about our system?s troubles and wish to help.?

Allai shot them as suspicious glance, catching Kenobi?s own wary gaze. Well, at least she knew his constant suspicion of her wasn?t anything personal. Qui-Gon nodded to the two Umgals, seeming quite comfortable and undisturbed by the constantly changing situation.

?I am Lishi,? the slim, pale skinned Umgal said. Her voice was soft and sweet, but also with a hint of girlish delight in it. ?It is an honor to receive help from Jedi Knights of the Republic.?

?It is an honor to help you,? Qui-Gon replied.

?And I am Kindu,? the brother spoke, his voice holding no excitement. ?And I am honored as well.?

Allai swore she heard a trace of sarcasm in the male Umgal?s voice. She locked the note away in her mind, reminding herself to watch that one. The female seemed very genuine and concerned.

?Lishi has been investigating Desrin?s assassination,? Vindu said after they were all seated.

Allai had been placed beside Kenobi, and she fought back the urge to kick him under the table, see if he drew out his lightsaber and threaten everyone there. He was a real jumpy one. Before she could even twitch, his eyes darted to hers in a silent warning. She gave him an innocent look, then turned her attention back to the Jedi Master and Vindu.

?We can rule out almost any Lokiarian,? Lishi said. ?There were a few Rwettes seen or registered as residence of the planet the day of the assassination. But there are rumors of another party in the vicinity that have not revealed themselves.?

The Jedi?s eyes narrowed on Allai. She shrugged. ?I told you I?ve been gave me the boot.?

?Do you know of their motives?? Obi-Wan asked, for once not suspicious or agitated.

Allai was tempted to make biting comment just to keep them on track, but she knew enough that this wasn?t the time. ?No, except that they are straying from the order and creed. They are either behind something or protecting something from us who would like to keep the Terrine sector from becoming a little empire.?

?That seems to be the logical motive,? Lishi agreed. ?Do you still know where your . . . former contacts are??

?They never have one definite base,? Allai frowned. ?But my guess is that they might have been the ones to dispose of Desrin.? A thoughtful look crossed her face. ?After my little visit to governor?s place I came back to see my ship explode. They must have been spying on me then.? Alarm struck her and she looked at the Jedi. ?We have to get back to Kaak. Immediately.?

 

What did Allai suddenly think of that has her so fearful, you must post soon to tell me!!

 

Working on the next post . . .

 

?I have a bad feeling about this,? Allai muttered as Obi-Wan toggled with the controls.

The young Jedi looked over at the younger girl huddled in her chair. Ever since they had left Umgal, he had had an odd sense, too. Qui-Gon had been feeling it as well and he only hoped they weren?t too late. Obi-Wan didn?t particularly feel friendly towards the ?assassin?, but he could sympathize in a few areas with her. He watched the counter. Their jump was going to be very short and he was pushing the engines to get back to Lokiar.

Allai hopped out of her chair and left the cockpit, hoping maybe to walk her nerves off. She stormed down the small corridor, nearly barreling over Qui-Gon Jinn. ?Oh, sorry,? she muttered, striding past.

?You need to calm yourself,? the Jedi said gently. ?You cannot help the councilor by hurting yourself.?

Allai nodded, trying to calm her racing blood. ?We might be too late. They would know as soon as you left. They don?t wait long to take action when it?s necessary.?

?Your organization??

?Yes,? Allai said, feeling her fists clench. ?Shavit, this is all my fault.?

?Is everything all right?? Kenobi asked, coming down the corridor. He ignored the glare from Allai and looked at his master expectantly.

?Send a message to Kaak to tighten security,? Qui-Gon instructed calmly, resting a hand on Allai?s shoulder. Obi-Wan nodded and retreated to the cockpit. The Master looked down at Allai. ?There?s no use in blaming yourself. You should focus on the now and what will soon happen. Be prepared.?

?I?m always prepared,? Allai said, her voice tight and quiet.


**************

Okay, I need to write some more

 

Yes, Amidolee, you definitely need to write some more! This is getting very tense!

 

They didn?t bother for secrecy, Obi-Wan landed the ship at Kaak?s mansion. Allai was out of the ship before any of the Jedi and was already arguing with the guard to let her in. Whatever training she had was completely forgotten in her haste to secure the councilor. Qui-Gon was at her side and he persuaded the guard to let them in. Allai was aware of Kenobi telling the guard to forget that they were there.

Security was certainly tight and the Jedi had to use their forms of persuasion to get in. They were nearing the office when they came across a contingent of guards. Two of them were wounded and speaking with the higher-ranking officers.

?Stay here,? Qui-Gon instructed, striding up to the group. He signaled for Kenobi to stay behind as well, and Allai suspected he didn?t trust her to not do something rash.

?This is bad,? Allai whispered as she watched the tall Jedi speak with the guards.

Kenobi said nothing to her, but at least he didn?t suggest she had somehow managed to attack the councilor while in their company. Allai forced her muscles to relax and stand tall. Qui-Gon returned to them, looking very solemn. ?What is it? What?s happened?? Allai demanded.

?It seems your hunch was correct,? Qui-Gon said quietly, eyeing the few guards passing by. ?The Councilor is alive, but wounded severely. Your warning to them came just in time.?

?Do they know who it was?? Obi-Wan asked.

?No, they didn?t recognize the attackers. They are humanoids, but they are not from Umgal or any other system around here.?

?The Ketts,? Allai whispered. Her eyes searched the walls.

?What?? Kenobi asked her, frowning as she began to move away and examine anything wood or organic in the halls. ?Master,? he called to the other Jedi.

Allai moved a vase and examined the wall behind it. No luck. She was aware of the Jedi watching her. ?Look for a slashed symbol in the walls or furniture.? She continued her search, not bothering to see if they were obeying.

?You mean this?? Kenobi asked after a few minutes. He was gesturing to a door hold that was carved from a tree trunk.

Allai came closer for inspection. Her heart did a skip when she saw what he was pointing at. Her mouth went dry and she nodded. ?Yeah, that?s it.? There was a circle with two slashes through it. ?The Ketts.?

?The Ketts,? Qui-Gon repeated. ?And who are they??

?The bounty hunter division,? Allai said weakly. ?They?re the assassins, Obi-Wan. This is a warning to me.?

?To stay away from us,? Obi-Wan mused, studying the symbol. He looked suddenly thoughtful. ?Does this symbol mean anything particular expect as a warning? A time sequence or anything like that??

//Very good// ?Yes,? Allai said. ?When the slashes cross in the upper half of the circle, it means that they weren?t intending a full kill. Meaning that next time they will strike big, and I will be part of the strike.?

Qui-Gon rested a calming hand on her shoulder. ?Let?s head to hospital. We must speak to the councilor.?

 

Very exciting, Amidolee.

Do I sense a future where Obi-Wan might being saving Allai's life?

 

Very exciting, Amidolee.

Do I sense a future where Obi-Wan might being saving Allai's life?

 

I like quick responses

I got to go and work on some more posts for this story. I believe someone once asked if they could have another Qui/Obi scene, so maybe I'll work that in