I'd imagine that, at that age, you didn't yet understand what blood was and what bleeding really meant. I'm surprised that you didn't react to the pain of getting brained with a tin can. Interestingly, despite all I've been through (which admittedly isn't all that much, though perhaps more than most "normal" people), I wouldn't dare to predict how I would react to circumstances which are beyond my experience, such as suddenly finding myself in the midst of a bank robbery or gunfight. Frankly I'd prefer to avoid any and all situations in which my nerves under fire would be tested, but life can be quite unpredictable that way, especially when one works at a 7-Eleven (insert stereotypical joke here). This doesn't stop me from drawing upon the experience of others, at least as they are related to me either through personal conversation or simply watching others give testimony on a television documentary, in my writings. Again, as an author of military-oriented fiction, it's a necessity to do this since service in the armed forces was not possible for me due to various conditions. Yet this is what I know most about, and so it is my preferred literary genre, and thanks to many sources it is quite possible for just about anyone to do research either on their favored period of history for historical military fiction, or the current trends in tactics and strategy for modern-day or even future war stories, or even military sci-fi. The latter is actually something I'm hoping to explore with a second original novel I've done some work on already. My first novel followed the career of a fighter pilot from his youth working as a crop duster with his father and his enlistment in the United States Army Air Corps in 1940, through his service in the European Theatre of Operations from late '42 through the end of the war. As such, the violence was quite impersonal; in air combat, you're shooting at machines more than you are at your fellow human beings. That said, anyone smart enough to be a fighter pilot knows full well that when they vape a bandit, they're very likely also killing someone. This comes into play much more vividly when a pilot is assigned to attack ground targets, including anything from a transport convoy to an enemy airfield. But you don't think about it—you can't afford to—because when flying, even a half second's hesitation can get you killed. Instead you are taught to compartmentalize the information (it's the plane, not the pilot) only letting it out once you've left the combat zone and touched down at your own home base—if you let it out at all. Most of the X-wing books were very good at conveying this necessity, the realities of combat—of violence in the sky and space—and what participating in it does to a person.