Characters USJS Revival: A Renewal of the Insanity? - Working on Saga Awards Excerpt

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by The Musical Jedi, Jan 16, 2008.

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  1. Kit' Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Oct 30, 1999
    star 5
    Posted a little bit myself, should be able to move it along to mornin' soon enough.

    Kithera
  2. Alexis_Wingstar Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2006
    star 4
    I posted a little thing Yod and I cooked up. It takes place early morning.
  3. 1Yodimus_Prime Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 13, 2004
    star 4
    It's true.

    For breakfast this morning, we started them off with some warm, toasted Introspection. This was immediately followed by a hearty helping of Plot topped with thick, rich Conflict Sauce, with a generous side of Ultimatum. Next was a selection of orchard picked Character Interactions, all drizzled in smoked Melodrama, imported just yesterday from a dedicated Teen Angst refinery in Seattle. Afterward, we gave them all a glass of fresh-squeezed Lighthearted Promise and a cup of steaming, French vanilla Witty Remark to finish things off.

    Then the whole lot of them ran off before we could deliver the check.

    That's the LAST time I cook for fictional characters.
  4. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    It's pizza time. [face_mischief]

    And isn't tomorrow pancakes and waffles day? [face_mischief][face_mischief]

  5. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Pizza time in the healers' ward too and stew time next? Nice Master Yoda's stew[face_sick]
  6. Alexis_Wingstar Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2006
    star 4
    [voice=Yoda]Understand, I do not your disdain for my favorite meal.[/voice]
  7. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Aaqu Maerhin 'loves' that stew[face_sick]

    Kithera are you headed back to the Jedi temple?
  8. The Musical Jedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 13, 1999
    star 5
  9. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    I'm here. I'm kind of tied up with costuming at the moment until the end of the month. After then, Bender might be getting to littering up the Jedi Archive, and it's possible that Palpatine might be getting an itchy trigger finger again. [face_whistling]

  10. 1Yodimus_Prime Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 13, 2004
    star 4
    I've been sidetracked by new ideas. I'll probably become more active again in about a month
  11. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    new month coming soon and with some holidays to go[face_thinking]
  12. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Well, I got through my costume-making for last month and it seemed a little quiet here. Whatever the exchange students and initiates are doing, Bender has a goal and will be working in the background. He wants to remake the Jedi Temple.[face_mischief] And Yoda is the only one who has noticed the early signs, but because of the bombs will be hindered in finding the source of the junk food.
  13. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Posted a little pizza piece and now we need Master Rinani[face_thinking];)
  14. The Musical Jedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 13, 1999
    star 5
    Pssst... Kit... That's you... ;) [face_shhh]
  15. Alexis_Wingstar Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2006
    star 4
    Hey y'all, someone just nommed us for best collaborative again this year! :D

    Now all we gotta do is keep writing! It'd be a shame to let this thing die.
  16. Kit' Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Oct 30, 1999
    star 5
    Comes in and tries to sneak around the door shyly.

    "Uh....hello?"


    Sorry I haven't been around much lately but the last couple of months have been rather hectic (no excuse I know) with school making many more demands on time than they used to. I've also gotten engaged in the last couple of weeks, and so there's now a wedding to plan for (it's not as simple as the movies make it look!).

    Anyway, what I am meaning to say is that I'm sorry I disappeared without a sound, and that I'm planning on writing and finishing that piece I promised earlybird all those months ago :p

    Kithera
  17. Alexis_Wingstar Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2006
    star 4
    Congratulations on your engagement. :)
  18. The Musical Jedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 13, 1999
    star 5
    Congrats, Kit! [:D]

    In other news, we qualified for best collab - which means we need an excerpt that's 800 words or less.

    With so many authors, this out to be an adventure. :p Any suggestions?
  19. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    something about the bombing, the action and the pizza's;)
  20. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Maybe you could split the excepts up between posts? Definitely the excerpt should include something with the exchange students. How about part of the 3/20 scene with Koria, something in the med-center and the part where Bender finds out the Jedi had a wild party without him?

    I'm thinking that Bender should introduce more junk food into the temple, but I'm wondering what the Initiates and exchange students will be doing in them morning?
  21. Alexis_Wingstar Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2006
    star 4
    I took the liberty of coming up with an excerpt (with parts cut out to pare it down to under 800 words) from three posts, all having to do with the bombing. Looking at it objectively, I would say this would get people's attention and want to read more. It comes to 757 words

    The holo of the Temple spun over the projector. The six concealed Sith sites glowed red, buried under the garden, the Archive, an eating hall, near a training area, in the living quarters and under the lifts leading up to the Council Spire itself?

    Sidious's fingers flexed over the controls. He would start with two. Just to get their attention. The one in the garden was buried so deep that most of the explosion would be buried as well, but it still had possibilities. The one in the living quarters was perfect for the middle of the night. When the Jedi would be least attentive. He would set the others off at his leisure, when it suited him.

    Sidious's finger descended to the activation switch...

    {hr]

    Mace Windu and Yoda both tensed at the same time?

    They had both been wakeful that night and had settled in a meditation chamber together.

    Now a warning suddenly screamed of imminent danger.

    They felt the first rumble, a trembling thunder of danger.

    The second one rattled the room they were in. Mace Windu jumped down from his pedestal and pulled out his comlink.

    "Report," he demanded of Temple Operations.

    {hr]

    Ieron found herself fumbling for her blaster with one hand and her lightsaber with the other before she was even aware of waking up. The Jedi Knight struggled to pull on a tunic over the leggings she slept in, yanking her utility belt around her waist. She could feel the adrenaline making her heart pound, aware of the clarity of mind that always accompanied it?

    "Ieron!"

    She heard Stave's panicked voice cry out, and she rushed into the living room. Her vision was clouded slightly as powdery dust was just settling. "Stave, where are you?"

    "Here."

    She caught movement from the corner of her eye and looked down to see the dark-haired youth peeking out from under the coffee table, his dark eyes wide with fright.

    "What were you doing out here?" she asked before realizing how unimportant it was. Ieron shook her head impatiently and motioned for him to come out from under the table. As he started to, she reached out through the Force, sensing as beings woke in their area, confusion and concern mingling with fright of the younger Padawans. The chaos eddied around an area vaguely above Ieron and to her left, an area she estimated was near her master's quarters. Even as she realized that, a low creaking filled the apartment.

    {hr]

    He stared at her with what appeared to be an intense, panicked look, breathing quickly from the shock. The sight unnerved her and she broke it, looking around at the minor damage, "I didn't know this part of Coruscant had earthquakes..." she said, "I?"

    "Where did it come from?" She looked back and he held the same look on his face as before, but now she realized it wasn't panic at all. It was still intense, but self-aware, searching. Inquisitive.

    "I don't know." she stammered.

    "You know. Tell me where it came from. Tell me what happened."

    At first, she thought to defend herself? {i]Who do you take me for, a sabateur? How the hell am -I- supposed to know what kriffing happ..[/i] but the look on his face did not change, and she saw now that it was soft. The words he spoke were not acusatory, nor were they anything he did not already know? This wasn't an interrogation, it was a...

    It was a test.

    And a timed one at that. Mundi's - Master Mundi, that was his name. The giant forehead should've given him away from the start - had every muscle tensed. If she so much as shrugged, so much as revealed a hint of confusion in the reflections in her eyes, he would be gone and there would be no second chance. She glanced down, preparing to concentrate, wondering if anything she was reading into this was even remotely correct. Seeing this, he let out a small breath and began to rise.

    "Wait!" Aeona grabbed h/>
  22. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Those excerpts look fine to me. Thanks for doing them!
  23. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Looks great Alexis and thanks[:D]
  24. Alexis_Wingstar Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2006
    star 4
    Thanks, I'm glad you two like it. Of course if someone comes up with something else, we can have a vote. :) I think the deadline is July 6, so we have time to decide. :)
  25. Kit' Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Oct 30, 1999
    star 5
    I know it's a little past the deadline, but it looks good :)

    Sent earlybird my piece! YAY! First writing in four months *sigh*

    Kithera
  26. The Musical Jedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 13, 1999
    star 5
    My only thought would be to add Ki-Adi Mundi and Aeona's name earlier in the last segments so we know who's in that part.

    Other than that, it looks great. :D Also, the deadline is July 12, midnight board time.
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