Saga Vader's Blog: The Rest of the Story -Humor, AU *Updated 3/15/13* (Smoke)

I love the Smoking response.

 

Awesome stuff as always.

What I like is how each update is unique.

keep 'em coming.

 

Again, well done Master. Indeed it is a good thing Vader got over that smoking habit. I of course look forward to the next entry.

Your apprentice, Ani-maniac

 

When I got your PM, I went "YES!" I always look forward to reading Vader's Blog. It's priceless. Great work, as always!

 

ROTFL! This is hilarious. Especially liked the bumper stickers and the dating ad.

 

LOL....I just read this for the first time...had seen it....

This is very, very, very entertaining, and you have done a great job with it!

Can you PM me when you update please?

 

Excellent work as usual.

 

Subject: First Date
Security: Public
Mood: Chilly

Well, I got a response to my online dating ad. She likes men who are tall dark and handsome so I e-mailed her and we set up a date. I'd been wanting to do some skiing on Rhen Var so I made arrangement and invited her along for the day.

We hit the slopes and the outing was fun, but relatively uneventful until we were headed back to my cabin late in the afternoon. We were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. We were about an hour away from anywhere with a fresher and in the middle of nowhere! So, I suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told me we'd better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of my speeder.
So, I stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the speeder and proceeded to go about her business. Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Being the gentleman I am I stood on the side of the speeder watching for traffic and refrained from peeking.

Unaware of her situation I asked what was taking so long.

Her reply - - "I'm freezing my butt off here! Give me some help." So I came around the speeder and she tried to cover herself with her sweater. Her gaze penetrated my helmet and as she looked imploringly into my eyes I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Apparently upon finishing her business she discovered that her buttocks were firmly glued against the speeder's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as I watched her attempt to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.

We assessed the situation and agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal. I offered to free her with my lightsaber, but she didn't like that idea. Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, we quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way it was #1 to the rescue, disproving the adage that's "it's better to be p'''ed off than on."

She didn't say a word the rest of the way back to the cabin. She caught the next shuttle back to Coruscant and I haven't heard from her since. Oh well, better luck next time I guess.

Vader Out.

 

Awww, oops, heehee...!

 

HAHAH!! Oh well, better luck next time!

 

too bad that Vader's date turned out to be sort of a disaster, to put it mildly....I wonder if he would go on a date with someone else...

still taking applications...well, at least I could try...

 

Haha great as always...though it looks like men in black do have more fun...

 

Another response to Vader's singles ad:

Sir, I'm not sure this will work out, you're probably not my type at all. I am a human female with dark brown hair and brown eyes.

I like men that are nice and caring, and have compassion, and that act like true gentlemen, that seek to guard a woman's heart, and who treasures purity

somehow, I doubt this will work out...your reputation is not the most encouraging for me...

but I thought that I would try. If you are interested, please respond.

 

LOL, Bale, I love this blog! Hilarious!

 

Dear Interested,

My reputation is a burden to my love life, but a necessary evil because of my job. I am forced to hide behind the mask I put up. The real me is quiet and compassionate, strong of mind and pure of virtue. I wear my fragile heart upon my sleeve.

A woman's heart is a delicate thing,
Like a gossamer thread or a butterfly's wing;
Easily broken, quick to heal,
Readily given, hard to steal.
Bountiful riches, wonderful bliss
Has he who holds a treasure like this.
Graciously given by Heaven above,
A woman's heart and a woman's love.


To know me is to trust me.

Signed,
Vader

P.S. Do you have a pic? Here's mine:

[image=http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a97/Sphinxman4/Vader.jpg]

 

Dear Vader,

You have responded to my inquiry! I must say you know how to touch a woman's heart. You seem to be such a sweet man. It's a wonder that you are not already taken.

I wish to get to know you better. If you are truly quiet and compassionate,strong of mind and pure of virture, perhaps a relationship with you will work.

Again, your words have touched my heart.

You seem like the kind of man I have always desired.

Signed,
Interested

PS Yes, I do have a pic, but I have to locate the file it's on. Things sometimes tet lost on my computer.

PSS How come you don't like cats?

PSSS How is it that in the picture you had hair, and in your profile you said that you didn't have any? Or is it that the picture was taken before you shaved off your hair?

 

LOL, this Vader's Blog is freakin hilarious.

 

Dear Vader,

Our first date did not go as planned, but now that I think about it, it was fun in a wierd sort of way. Perhaps we can try it again sometime??

 

My... that certainly sounds like an... interesting date.

You know I have no idea why Vader has not heard back from her.

But again, wonderful job, Master!

Your apprentice, Ani-maniac

 

Well, that wasn't exactly the ideal first date.

 

That did put more meaning into "freezing my butt off." I'll never think of that phrase the same way again. Thanks for contaminating me!

 

Dear Vader,

I am a guy responding to your add. I know you are prejudice possibly choosing only women, but guys can be evil to. And if you're not gay, for a big dumb robot you sure dress it,

can't wait to meet you,
Snickerbottoms.

 

P.S. This is the fistofthedarklord saying NO I AM NOT QUEER! I am very very very very very very very very straight, and this meant as a joke. I don't want weird dating emails from other people. Having things in common with people is good EXCEPT THAT!!!!

Now I'm out to blow things ups.
-fistofthedarklord

 

Fistofthedarklord,

I find your posts disturbing.

~Vader

 

This is hilarious! Better to be ed off than on. Now I'll never shake the reverse from my mind!