1/23/13: Sneezed through most of today. Ah-choo. Walter Mitty Jr. sat shackled in a chair, trying to keep his mind calm. Two things made this impossible: first-hand knowledge of what Inquisitors could do to suspected heretics, and the overwhelming stench coming from Balava Doorp's armpits. "So," Doorp said from behind him, "you were the spy in our midst. I never would have guessed you were a Yellow." Several pairs of Doorp's hands gripped the chair's frame. Walter felt the Inquisitor's breath on his ear. This close, you could almost make out each individual underarm odor. It said a lot about Walter's state of mind that he found this preferable to the interrogation. "The Book states that the universe was created inside the nose of the Great Green Arkleseizure. Do you deny this?" "N - no," Walter stammered. "The Book also states that the universe was sneezed out when its expanding borders tickled the sinuses of the Great Green Arkleseizure. Do you deny this?" "No," Walter answered. "And the Book clearly states that the End shall be upon us with the Coming of the Great White Handkerchief. Do you deny this?" The rational part of Walter's mind wanted to scream no. It was just words, after all. Did it matter what he said as long as he believed in the truth? And yet - "'s yellow," he muttered. Doorp slapped him. Since the natives of Viltvodle VI had anywhere from fifty to seventy arms each, this went on for quite some time. When he was done, Walter felt like he'd been taken through the gauntlet. "You are mistaken," Doorp said softly. "The Handkerchief is White. Only fools, infidels, and foreigners believe otherwise." He sighed. "You have been careless, my friend. You should have repeated the Litany after each interrogation. Only the truth can drive out the lies they try to implant in our minds." "But . . . it's yellow." "Only because heretics have stained it. But don't worry. We will make it pure once more."