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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Vector Prime humorous version -SPOILERS

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Opie Wan Cannoli, Oct 6, 1999.

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  1. Opie Wan Cannoli

    Opie Wan Cannoli Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 10, 1999
    Why should the movies be the only ones to get The Treatment ?

    The newest threat to the New Republic comes from outside it's galaxy. George Lucas has decided to retire after Ep.3 and for our heroes, all gloves are off.

    Nom Nom Anor looked outside the window at the city of Redhaven. He was waiting for a message from the invasion force, led by Prefect Ford. The Yubyub Pong would triumph in the end. If, that is, they could get the communications to work. Nom Nom scratched his head, dislodging a small rodent he had been wearing as a hat, which tumbled to the ground and remarked "It's a living."
    Off in the distance, an oddly shaped bird swooped around, trying to get it's bearings. "Stupid owls", Nom Nom thought- the Pong's invasion plans had been delayed almost six months when his mail had been delivered to Redhaven on Brenn, off the coast of Narnia, instead of Redhaven on Rhomamool. It's ironic that the one piece of Yubyub Pong "technology" not lifted straight from The Flintstones was the one that gave the most trouble , but....
     
  2. Opie Wan Cannoli

    Opie Wan Cannoli Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 10, 1999
    Mara Jade was sick. All over the dashboard of her new starship. Damn. I knew I should've gone for the floor mats. Jaina, who was piloting, said, "Yuck. That's more disgusting than what happened to Mom and Uncle Luke on Mimban."
     
  3. Dev Sibwarra

    Dev Sibwarra Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 1999
    Vector Prime was great, but I think I'll add a bit.

    Meanwhile, Oldman's Car, another Yubyub Pong with a wierd name, got bored and killed some people. They were scientists. Halfway across the galaxy, Kyp Durron showed off.
     
  4. Opie Wan Cannoli

    Opie Wan Cannoli Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 10, 1999
    In the Lizard Lounge of the starship Millenium Pinto, Jacen and Anakin Solo were sparring with their lightsabers, and arguing about the nature of the Force.
    "Where did you get this 'midi-chlorian' nonsense, Ani ?
    "WHERE DID I!? You're the one who's grown a Padawan braid! And how come everyone calls me Ani, all of a sudden ? Not even Tahiri used to!"
    "This tool-of justice thing just doesn't sound like you!"
    "If we're getting into that, how come you haven't said 'Blaster bolts' or told a corny joke yet? And why do you have an English accent all of a sudden !?"
    Just then Han climbed into the ship. "Hey, kids! We're going to Poodoobrillion!"
    "All right!"
     
  5. Cigam Retah

    Cigam Retah Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 30, 1999
    Han, Leia, Chewie, and the clan piled into the Millinium Pinto and blasted off for Poodoobrillion.

    Lando, being a con-artist and a rouge, turned the whole system into a giant casino/arcade/amusement park/smuggler training facility/day care center.

    "Hey, you old Pirate! What brings you to Poodoobrillion?" Lando said, still wearing the same cape and mustashe from 1981.

    "Ahh, some plot point or rather. Mind if the kids get to ride on your experimental and imposible remote shield starfighter corse?"

    "Of course? And there's no charge, because they are your kids, and Jedi Knights."

    The kids get prepped up for flight.

    "Now remember, the record time around the 'troid feild is 27 minutes. I hope you can break it." Lando chuckled.

    After a bit of innane radio chatter, the kids fly through the field. They go back.

    "38 seconds! A new record! And it's a shame the other pilots arn't Jedi Knights. Not that we should hold you at a higher standard."

    "Oh, hey old buddy, old pal, would you mind doing me a favor?" Lando bleemed.

    Chewie Flinched.


     
  6. Opie Wan Cannoli

    Opie Wan Cannoli Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 10, 1999
    "I want you to go to Stimpydoll to drop off a cargo", said Lando.
    Han replied, "Ummmm....."
    "C'mon, man, we're already loading the Pinto. If you don't hurry Chewie and Anakin will leave without you !!"
    "Is the cargo legal ?"
    This time it was Lando's turn to say "ummmm..." as a repulsor sled full of boxes marked "3 PIECE COSTUME-GENUINE LEATHER-EXOTIC NOVELTY CO. POMOJEMA CITY, MIMBAN" floated by. "It isn't against any New Republic laws, no"
    "Well then, what are we waiting for ?", asked Han
    Just then, Jaina yelled out, "HEY! That's MY line!!"
    "Where were you ?", Han asked.
    "Running the belt. New record."
    Lando chimed in, "27 hours, 27 minutes, 27 seconds. How's it feel, Jaina ?"
    "Gotta PEEEE!!!",she said as she went into a Force-assisted sprint to Where No Man Has Gone Before.
    "The kid can fly", said Han.

    ....................................................
    If anyone would ilke to add on something that's been skipped, feel free. I'm calling dibs on Chapter 17, though. And I'm glad to see other people taking an interest !

     
  7. Cigam Retah

    Cigam Retah Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 30, 1999
    Meanwhile, at EX-GAl station #1178, A few scientists were effected by toxic gas, and began doing the jitterbug!
     
  8. Zaz

    Zaz Jedi Knight star 9

    Registered:
    Oct 11, 1998
    At Ex-Gal Station, the leader of the group was Danae Twee, who like all scientists, was a 21-year-old babe. The rest of the bunch were a collection of guys with made-up names, no personality, and 'plot device' stamped on their foreheads; and Oldman Carr, a huge aggressive alien with tattoos, scars and the bedside manner of a WWF wrestler with a steroid hangover--in other words, a typical scientific type. Oldman was an advance scout for a group of nasty, aggressive aliens, and he had just happened to get a job at Ex-Gal, mainly because of a wizard resume...
     
  9. Opie Wan Cannoli

    Opie Wan Cannoli Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 10, 1999
    Yup, I like this.

    Does anyone want to tackle Luke's meeting with the Council?
     
  10. Lost in Coruscant

    Lost in Coruscant Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 1999
    What council meeting?
    Who is he meeting with?
    I must know!!!!
     
  11. Zaz

    Zaz Jedi Knight star 9

    Registered:
    Oct 11, 1998
    Danae remembered the resume clearly; it read...

    Name: Carr, Oldman
    Place of Birth: A galaxy far, far away...
    Previous Employment: Extra in Deep Space Nine (Dominion Episodes); Extra in Star Trek:
    NG & Voyager (Borg episodes); Extra in all 3 Alien movies...
    Qualifications: PhD. in quantum mechanics..
    Hobbies: Creative grunting; snapping Plot Devices' necks like twigs; kinky sexual practices with breathing apparatuses; imitations of Stone Cold Steve Austin;
    Future plans: Galaxy domination;
    Desired Remuneration: 50 metric tonnes of dead beetles...

    Danae hired Oldman immediately. After all, who else would work for dead beetles?

    One day she was watching the skies when she noticed a glitch on the scopes.

    "What is it, Oldman?" she asked.
    "A comet," said Oldman.
    "But it's made of metal, and it seems to have slogans written on it--"Die, NR, Die!" is one...and the others say "Corsucant or Bust" and "Be Prepared to Grovel..." And there's a face painted on it that looks just like yours..."
    "A coincidence," said Oldman, inserting his pinkie in what passed as his ear, and rotating it.
    A droid nearby said, "The odds of such a coincidence are 45 million to one..."
    Frowning, Oldman shut the droid off. "That's why I hate mechanicals," he muttered.
    "What do you think it means?" asked Danae.
    "Practical joke," hissed Oldman, "When in doubt do nothing..."
    Danae, who had highly developed leadership qualities, said, "Makes sense to me."

    Danae glanced in a nearby mirror, pleased with her beautuous blonde appearance. She was also 21 years old, sensual, brave & brainy. The only flaw in her looks was a slogan stamped across her forehead, reading "Male Fantasy." But Danae understood that if she removed it, she would morph into a woman twice her age, twice her weight, with orthopedic shoes and glasses. So she tolerated it....


     
  12. Cigam Retah

    Cigam Retah Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 30, 1999
    Days before:

    Luke Skywalker adjusted his tunic as he marched down the long, winding halway of Republic Centre. "Unkie Luke, do you really think the Jedi Council is nessesary? My philosphy is 'we all die anyway, let's just sit around and not do anything so we may become one with the Force.'" Jacen said.

    "You could show a little respect, and at least call me Sir, or Master Skywalker. And yes, I belive I should and will restore the council, with myself as the head. Oh sure, I'd feign humbleness and humility, but since I am the most powerful Jedi in the Galaxy, it will be my obvious duty to be supreme ruler of all of the Forc..err, I mean, I wish to serve the galaxy."

    Jacen looked to his uncle. "Then why must you meet before the Republic Council? Surely you could establish a more structured Jedi Order on your own!"

    "Yes Jacen, but I need the support of the Government. Everyone knows that the Government should orginize and legislate mystic, sacred religion."

    "Good point, Unkie Luke. So who do you think will vote for you?" Jacen said, playing 'Womprat Blasters' on his Hyper-Game Boy.

    "Well, Dorkus Felt'ya won't be happy. I once ran over his dog, And A. Token Al-Ien will probably have some superstition against the Force, because non-humans don't have the grasp of the Force we do. But Al Deran should vote for us. He knows your mother."

    "Oh, he was one of the lucky ones to be off All-gone-deran when Tarkin blew it up?"

    "No, he just found a good landing spot. Come Jacen, we haven't much time!"

    They ran to the Council Meeting Hall, only forgeting to change their watches from TST (Tatoo-mean Standard Time) to CST (Core-u-skank Standard Time). So they sat for 3 hours.
     
  13. Opie Wan Cannoli

    Opie Wan Cannoli Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 10, 1999
    Oldman Carr came up to Danae; there was something important he had to tell her. Calmly and rationally, he said, "Oy mooie mooie, meesa WUV yous!". Swearing silently to himself, he vowed to have a little -word- with his tequizowyrms. Danae just muttered, "newbies..".
    Meanwhile, back on Stimpydoll, the Pinto had just landed among a group of natives screaming "Tosi-karu!!"
    Lando turned to Han and asked, "What's that? Some kinda Pokemon ?". All eyes were on Anakin.
    "Don't look at me. I'm 15 in this one"
    "WHAT? Weren't you 11 in the last book you were in ?"
    "Junior Jedi Knights, yeah. Actually, I was 12 when it ended . They never changed the blurb, though."
    "What happened to that fluffy bunny Jedi Master-never mind. Stackpole will explain it"
    Just then Kyp Durron showed up, "Come on, the moon is about to hit!!!"
    "Okay," said Han, "Chewie, Anakin, get in the ship, we're getting out of here. Lando, Kyp, you save the planet."

     
  14. Zaz

    Zaz Jedi Knight star 9

    Registered:
    Oct 11, 1998
    Jaina was just a little surly because she had to clean up after Mara. She flounced out of the cockpit, leaving Mara with her mother.

    "Getting worse?" asked Leia, solitictiously.
    "Yeah," said Mara, bravely, making sure her lower lip trembled.
    "You can control it with the Force, can't you?
    "Sure."
    "And you and Luke are linked through the Force, right?"
    "Yeah."
    "So, why don't you get me, Luke and the kids to link with you so we could all help you beat back the disease? Wouldn't that be more effective?"
    "Nahhh," said Mara. "Then you couldn't all sit around admiring my courage."
    "Oh," said Leia, "makes sense to me."

    Leia had come on a diplomatic mission to Nom Nom Amor, bringing her daughter and her sister-in-law with her.
    "How come Dad and Uncle Luke didn't come with us?" Jaina asked.
    "If they did, then the author couldn't switch location back and forth with each chapter," said Leia.
    "Oh," said Jaina, "Makes sense to me."

    "And furthermore, it's to prove that your aunt and uncle have a very happy marriage," said Leia.
    "Why's that? They never spend any time together, she avoids him like the plague, and she refuses to let him help with her disease."
    "Because, in one of this book's extremely few descriptive passages, it says so."
    "Oh," said Jaina. "Makes sense to me."
     
  15. Maul Brady

    Maul Brady Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 12, 1999
    hahhaah BACK TO THE TOP!!
     
  16. Zaz

    Zaz Jedi Knight star 9

    Registered:
    Oct 11, 1998
    "Hey, look," said Jaina, "Wurth Nuttin is shooting down the Osarians that were trying to intercept us."
    "It'll come out of his pay," muttered Leia.
    "Jedi don't have salaries," Jaina pointed out. "In fact, without a central organization, I don't understand how they can buy and maintain their X-Wings or eat."
    "Details don't matter," said Leia. "RAS is a fantasy author, remember. He's used to just making it up as he goes along."
    Mara then warned Leia 14 times against Nom Nom Amor.
    "Mara, I heard you the first time. Why are you being such a bore?"
    "Is it my fault that RAS writes women all alike?" Mara responded, sighing. "I'm such a wash-out in this book, I'll take all the lines I can get. We need a build-up for Nom Nom, otherwise the audience might conclude that he's a campy twit."
    "Why would they conclude that?"
    "Oh, come on...the Hitler trappings, the Vader Lite appearance, the Jesse Ventura attitude...it's straight out of pro wrestling...and its got about as much substance."




    [This message has been edited by Zaz (edited 10-26-1999).]
     
  17. Cigam Retah

    Cigam Retah Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 30, 1999
    Elsewhere...

    Nom Nom Anor watered the War Coordinator.

    And Chewie flinched...
     
  18. Opie Wan Cannoli

    Opie Wan Cannoli Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 10, 1999
    "You left him"
    "No, I didn't. He's right here."
    "Rrrowwrrfffpt!"
    "Oh."
    "So why did you accuse me of leaving him, Dad?"
    "Because this is a pivotal passage- it's where I'm supposed to lay a huge guilt trip on you so all the readers think you'll go to the Dark Side."
    Anakin was scared by that, "Will I?"
    "Phhyeah, with that name? What'd they call you, Darth Obvious ? I said they'll make people THINK that. Only way it'll HAPPEN is if that Anderson hack writes it."
    "Oh. Go on then."
    "He busted his furry butt to save you, and you left him."
    "Dad?"
    "Yeah, Annie?"
    "What'll we do with Chewie for the rest of the book? And PLEASE don't call me Annie! Why is everyone doing that, all of a sudden ?"
     
  19. Zaz

    Zaz Jedi Knight star 9

    Registered:
    Oct 11, 1998
    Meanwhile, across the galaxy, Kyp Durron was still showing off. Smiko Regular, Kyp's sidekick and padawan, watched him in some bemusement.

    "I don't know what I'm doing here," muttered Smiko to himself.
    "I do," said Kyp, who overheard this.
    "What?"
    "You're here to die in this book instead of me."
    "How do you know?" Smiko asked, confused.
    "Little things...like that Geek chorus...you know, the Jawa, the Ewok and the Gungan...that starts humming "Bad Moon Rising" whenever you appear...that stamp on your forehead that says..."Plot Device created because Del Rey won't let me kill Kyp...yet"....but the real giveaway is...you didn't get a description..."
    "A description?"
    "Yeah. Wurth Nuttin gets a description. Danae Twee gets a description. But you didn't, did you notice that? He never describes people he's going to kill, he just gives them improbable names...Lysire Donabelle, I ask you! You're toast, kid!"
    "Why don't they want him to kill you?" Smiko asked, even more confused.
    "I'm guessing from my lamebrain behaviour in this book, that I'm going to endanger the whole NR by some stupid action and then redeem myself by some noble act of sacrifice later on. You can see it coming a mile away...it's not as though anybody concerned with this book ever had an original thought..."

    Smiko, an introspective sort, was much troubled by this. What did it all mean?




    [This message has been edited by Zaz (edited 11-02-1999).]
     
  20. Opie Wan Cannoli

    Opie Wan Cannoli Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 10, 1999
    And now for a musical interlude
    HIT IT, WAR COORDINATOR!


    Feed me, Seymour,
    Feed me all night long.
    'Cause if you feed me Seymour,
    I'll grow up big and-

    -THANK YOU, W.C. DOES ANYONE KNOW THE PHONE NUMBER OF THE ORKIN MAN?
     
  21. Cigam Retah

    Cigam Retah Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 30, 1999
    Meanwhile, back at STARBASE LANDO...

    "How ya feeling, Chewie?" Luke said with enthusasim, approaching the hairy beast. "Just fine, Luke. And It feels great to have escaped Chapter 17!" Chewie spoke, with a hint of a british accent.

    Han's jaw dropped as he turned to the Wookie. "You're speaking Basic?" Han gasped. "Of course! Why do you think they were going to kill me? It's hard to convey a mute character in a novel of this type. So I bought 'Basic for Dummies' so I could improve my odds of surviving. And here, Han, I got you a copy of 'Growing Old Gracefully for Dummies', and Luke, here's a copy of 'Jedi Councils Made Easy" by M. Windu." Chewie laughed.

    "I went to Corrillia Language University for Seven Years to learn to speak, comprehend, and even WRITE Wookie, and you start speakin' Basic after one brush with a moon?" Han said in desperation. "I'm still paying off that Student Loan!"

    "Well, old chap, you can't win 'em all! Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to borrow the Falcon to go visit my son, Lumpy. I have to teach him to speak Basic as well!"

    Luke turned to Han, and shruged. "I'll kill 'em!" Han wispered. "Now now, Han. He's your best friend. So what if there was a language barrier for a while? Hey, if it wasn't for Chewie, you wouldn't have saved my skin over Yavin. So cut him some slack!" Luke said, smiling at the whole scene.

    "Dad, did you hear? Chewie can talk!" Anakin said, excitedly as he rushed into the hanger bay. An X-Wing landed nearby, with the familar signage of Rouge Squadron painted on it's sides. Out popped Wedge Antillies. "Hey guys! Mind if a minor character pops in on this 'Hero Collection?'" Wedge asked.

    "Wedge, you're not in this book!" Han said, looking around in a panic. "I know, but the Republic Naval Academy wanted me to invite Chewbacca to speak for this year's Graduating Class, now that he can speak, and all." Wedge chuckled at Han.

    "Wha, they never asked me to...I'll kill 'em! Anakin? ANAKIN!?!" Han said, franticly.

    "Right here, dad." Anakin said, behind the old pirate.

    "Oh, there you are. Ready the Falcon." Han ordered.

    "I can't. Chewie just took it." Anakin said, looking to the Bay Doors as the Falcon flew out into space. Chewie honked the horn and waved.

    Han swore to himself. "Luke, can you give me a lift?"
     
  22. aleja

    aleja Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Sep 23, 1999
    please excuse me for jumping in, but I just can't resist...

    Back on board the Jaded Scissors, the shuttle Luke had either built with his own hands or had someone else build for him depending on how you read the original sentence, Leia knocked on the door of Mara's cabin. Hearing very strange sounds, Leia forced her way and found Mara sitting on the bed, her face horribly contorted.

    "Mara!" Leia exclaimed. "What happened? Is it your illness?"

    Mara snorted. "Yeah, right. You try crying piteously while keeping a stiff upper lip and see how your face fares."

    "So you're all right?" Leia persisted. She kept the look of concern off her face, but inside Leia surely knew that the dread disease that was attacking her brother's beloved wife was slowly taking more and more ground, that the spunky Mara was gradually losing her brave, hard-fought battle, that...

    Her thoughts were interrupted by a sharp, "LEIA!" from Mara.

    "Yes, Mara?" Leia inquired solicitously.

    "I'm a Jedi now. I can pick up thoughts. Sheesh, can't anyone remember that? So could you stop for at least one chapter the gloom and doom thinking? It's enough to give one a complex. No wonder I apparently can't stand to be around Luke."

    "But Mara, aren't you scared?" Leia just had to ask.

    "Nah. I'm going to live. We all are. You know that," Mara responded matter-of-factly.

    "Um, Mara..." Leia hesitated for a second, then plunged ahead. "That's not necessarily true anymore. You know, Chapter 17? Bubble burst? Han thinks you are terminal?"

    "You haven't been keeping up with the posts. Chapter 17 doesn't happen here."

    "Oh!" Leia immediately brightened. "I've got to tell Jaina to cancel the supply run to Costco. I guess we won't need the family-sized 12 ply tissues anymore."
     
  23. Zaz

    Zaz Jedi Knight star 9

    Registered:
    Oct 11, 1998
    *Another interlude from the same musical....

    Prefect Ford and a chorus line of Yubyub Pong sing...

    "Son, be a Prefect....
    You enjoy causing people pain..."* *(Sung to the tune of "Son, Be a Dentist")

    Prefect and the line break the necks of the plot devices they're holding in stereo....they then do a series of Rockette-like kicks and tune up again...

    "Oh, we are the boys of the Chorus,
    We hope you like our showwwww,
    We know you're rooting for us,
    But now we have to gooooooo..."* *(From Looney Tunes)

    Interpolation to Chapter Seventeen:

    Anakin (to Mayor): Hey, can I ask you something?
    Mayor: (distracted) What is it, kid?
    Anakin: I've heard rumours about you...
    Mayor: It's a lie! I wasn't banned from Miscellanous!"
    Anakin: (impatiently) Not that! I hear that you're really Boba Fett...
    Mayor: "Why would you think that?"
    Anakin: "Well, you look a bit like Jeremy Bullock...and you're about the same age...and you're wearing Mandalarian armour..."
    Mayor: "Sure, but what am I wearing over it?"
    Anakin: (Squinting) "It looks like...boy, that's really strange...a gold lame tuxedo?"
    Mayor: "Right. Which means?"
    Anakin: "You're Elvis Presley?"
    Mayor: "None other...remember what happened in 1977?"
    Anakin: "ANH came out?"
    Mayor: "What else?"
    Anakin: "You died?"
    Mayor: "I didn't die...I just pretended to so I could hide out from my fans as a bit actor in the popular movie series ever made. Now, of course, I'm going to not die for real..." He pulls out a thermal detonator and hops off the speeder. As Anakin speeds away, he heards the Mayor humming "All Shook Up"...
    Anakin: (Sighing) "Makes sense to me."


    Meanwhile, back on the Jaded Scissors...Mara and Leia are having ye olde deep discussion...
    "I really think this jumpsuit makes me look fat," said Leia, "maybe if I wear my black one..."
     
  24. Opie Wan Cannoli

    Opie Wan Cannoli Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 10, 1999
    Luke was having trouble getting to sleep. Maybe it was the fact that Mara was still not any better, despite what just happened-or didn't-to Chewie. Maybe it was because Celine Tionne just sent him a transmission saying that Ikrit put a 10-year-old in a bacta tank by making the kid carry him around the Temple. Or maybe it was the glowing green ghost sitting on his bed.
    "Who are you?"
    "Qui-Gon Jinn. Listen, I'm not supposed to be in this, but there's a few words I'd like to say to you. Amidala. Padawan. Midi-chlorians. Shmi.
    Thank you."
    "Huh?"
     
  25. Zaz

    Zaz Jedi Knight star 9

    Registered:
    Oct 11, 1998
    Luke said to Qui-Jon, "I am wondering, why are you here?"
    "That's Yoda's line," responded Qui-John.
    "Whatever. What do you want?"
    "This is an Annunciation."
    "Oh, great. Does GL want the Catholic League of Decency picketing the next movie? That virgin birth bit for my old man in TPM tried them pretty high. This would be the last straw."
    "What can I say? He's finally taken out a condo in flip city."
    "So what are you supposed to be announcing, anyway?"
    "You have a choice, Luke. If you and wife have a baby, it will save her life and destroy the Yubyub Pong."
    "How would it save her life? She's sick as it is, it'd kill her."
    "The child will be born immune to her disease and will be able to pass on the immunity."
    "Well, okay, then! I just have to persuade her to stay in the same room with me for a few hours..."
    "A few minutes..." sneered Qui-Jon.
    "Jealousy ill becomes you."
    "But there's a catch..."
    "There always is," said Luke, sighing, "What is it?"
    "The child will become the worst SITH lord in history and enslave the galaxy all over again. You must choose whether he is born or not."
    "Why do I always get these choices? Does Leia? Does Han? Nooooo...it's always me. It's not fair!"
    "You can always complain to GL. Remember how he blew off the EU to Terry Brooks? He'd really care."
    Qui-Jon started fading. "Remember young Skywalker, pass on what you have learned..."
    Muttering to himself, Luke said, "That's wasn't an annunication, it was a public service announcement for birth control..."

     
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