Very very bad jokes post em here

Post ur jokes here the more bad the better, even ones that dont make sense...

Two sauages walking down the street
One got cumberland'd

Fight started last night in my local curry house, was really bad, apparently one of the waiters is in hospital in a korma.

Michael Owen came up to me the other day, i said hello but he pinched my bum, so i moved away, he followed me and did it again and winked, i said "cor your a little forward arent you?"

Craig david is apparently gonna be in the next olympics in the archery team - hes gonna be the "bow selector"

 

Not a bad joke, but the first one my lazy @ss could be bothered to cut and paste from my email.


A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

"Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.

"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

 

A set of jump leads walks into a bar and asks for a drink, the barman says
'You can stay, just don't start anything'

A brain walks into a bar and asks for a pint, the barman says
'I'm not serving you, you're out of your skull already'

A carrot walks into a bar and asks for a pint, the barman says
'Sorry mate, we don't serve food in here.'

A locket walks into a bar and asks for a pint, the barman says
'I'm not serving you, your flippin menthol.'



How's that for bad?

 

What do you call a gnome with his head between his legs?



Answer : A goblin

 

An English man, scottish man and an Irish guy walk into a bar. the bar tender says " this should be funny"

 

A man walks into a bar.
























































































Ouch.

Classic, had to be said.