Virginity

Do you think it's important to keep your virginity until marriage? Why or why not?

I do, because then it's like a special gift for my wife.

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Those people who conciously decide to remain a virgin until they get married, get my respect. Different people will live different life styles; some follow the values I respect more than others.

It is indeed a special gift. I may or may not wait until I get married, but I could never share myself like that with someone whom I did not love and trust completely. It is indeed a special gift to share with the person you marry.

 

Yes, I think it's very important. I would extend that to include keeping your thoughts, etc. pure.

 

Ditto, but its important for both sexes, being a male Ive heard other guys want to sleep around before marriage, but want the girl they marry to be 'pure'. Sorry fellas can't have it both ways.

Me Ive waited, 24 years and counting, but it makes it all that much more special on the honeymoon, doesn't it?

 

IMO, I think it is quite noble to wait until marriage, and make your spouse your only one.
I, however, do not have objections with people that have sexual relations within the bounds of a proper relationship.

I am not such a fan of when people, men or women, sleep around. ITs their choice, however, if I were to be with a woman that has casual sex, it would make me feel less special.

Now, let me ask this...You are engaged to someone, completely in love. You have been saving your virginity for your husband/wife.
It is the week before you are getting married. Is it OK to give in, or do you have to wait the extra week?

 

Sex is part of a serious relationship. If the sex is terrible, the rest of the relationship won't be too good. It's a good idea to know before you make a life committment, whether you are TRULY compatible. I'm not saying everyone should have sex before marriage, I'm just saying it wouldn't hurt.

 

I am saying that it WILL hurt if you do it. It is something that should only be done in marriage.

 

Now, let me ask this...You are engaged to someone, completely in love. You have been saving your virginity for your husband/wife.

It is the week before you are getting married. Is it OK to give in, or do you have to wait the extra week?


You went that long and you can't wait another week? Somethings wrong with you. A relationship shouldnt be based on sex, sex will get old after a while, it may still be good but every married couple I talk too has some dry spell in their sex life, it happens.

 

Tell me how it WILL hurt you.

 

I, too, am saving myself for marriage. That way my husband has my whole heart. I don't want little pieces of it delivered out here and there to people I'm never going to stay with, or perhaps even see again.

 

Ditto, Jedi_Xen. If you're going to be married in a week anyway, I'd wait. It's worth waiting for.

 

I'm waiting. And, as a girl, yes -- it is frustrating when we seem so hell-bent on saving ourselves till marraige, and the guys don't seem to care to do it themselves -- but we're called sluts if we sleep with one guy. What a double standard.

 

It's a very difficult thing to do, especially in this day and age. Very hard to find people to date who share the same conviction for a start, and hanging on all that time is very, very difficult. Most couples I know who waited, married within a year or so.

Despite all that, I guess I do believe in waiting, at least until you find someone you are interested in having a long term relationship with. Not because I think being a virgin is any more desirable than not being a virgin, or it's somehow a state of 'purity and innocence', or anything like that.
It's because, no matter what lengths you go to (apart from surgery), the risk of pregnancy is always there, and when it's someone elses health and well-being at stake, it's no longer 'your choice' or 'your personal life'. You're bringing someone else into the equation - a potential child - and IMO, every child deserves a mother and a father who love eachother, and will love them ... and most of all, be there.

The one thing that puts me off this whole 'wedding night' business, is the idea that your entire family/extended family/in-laws/friends etc etc know the exact date on which you loose it. I find that very embarassing, for some reason.

 

Kitt, I totally agree with you. I wouldn't want the world to know. My mom said on her wedding day, her mom tried to have a sex talk with her, and she thought it was the funniest thing ever.

 

I totally agree with that. I mean, every time you go to a wedding, aren't you thinking "I know what they're going to do tonight..." It's humiliating!! I think I'm purposely going to have it the NEXT day just to throw everyone off. Heh heh.

 

*Lol @ Ariana* Boy Im glad I wont be your potential hubby. Wait all that time and when its finally with the girl I marry I have to wait an extra 24 hours, talking about getting off to a rough start.

 

It is the week before you are getting married. Is it OK to give in, or do you have to wait the extra week?

I don't know that it's as wrong as, say, sleeping with some stranger on a bus, but I guess at that point... isn't it kind of a matter of pride? I mean, you've made it this far... one more week! Then you can have an old-fashioned wedding like almost no one does anymore!

(On the "does the sex work?" issue for "serious" relationships... oh, come on. If the relationship is good, you figure out the sex part. It's not lightning sent down from heaven, and it's not some irresistable tidal force. You know whether or not the attraction is there -- otherwise you wouldn't be dating -- but the actual process of sex? People have been figuring that out for a long time, certainly before Dr. Ruth came along to help.)

 

Personally I think its important and I do not intend to have sex with a male until I am married.

One of my friends made the huge mistake of having sex with her boyfriend and now she's pregant at only 15.

So I fully intend to wait.

 

Did you know in ancient times (and not so ancient times in Russia) after the wedding, the bride and groom would go into the wedding chambers while everyone else who was invited to the wedding had a big party outside and then the bride and groom would exit when they had consumated their marraige? Talk about being put on the spot and having everyone know what you're doing...

 

Could you imagine the brides father? Talking about worrying about his little baby (though shes a big girl now), I think Id flip.

 

I think everyone should save sex for marriage and that there should not be different standards for males and females.


Now, let me ask this...You are engaged to someone, completely in love. You have been saving your virginity for your husband/wife.
It is the week before you are getting married. Is it OK to give in, or do you have to wait the extra week?

I'd say wait. I was engaged before and had a date set and a ring on my fiancee's finger and everything and was looking forward to being sexually intimate with her. Ultimately though, I felt like the relationship wasn't all that great and I called it off and am now glad that I did not leave a piece of me with her that now I would have to regret. Society wants to define us as being purely sexual beings (you are validated by whether or not you "got some" last night or can be perceived by others as having "got some"), but when you agree to stand up for abstinence before marriage and fidelity afterwards you are saying that you are a multi-faceted personality and that sexuality is just one facet.

 

typically, people think that sex should wait for marriage...

but answer me this...what of the people who never plan on getting married? are we destined to stay chaste? cmon, we're human beings, we have needs!

but besides that...if it's the issue that you should save your first time for the person you will be with for the rest of your life, look at the divorce rate for crying out loud! think about it...4.7 out of 10 will divorce...then what? do you feel worse on your second wedding night? or out of fear of divorce, do you hesitate to marry at all?

i used to be totally against the whole sex before marriage thing...but that was based upon the values i was raised with...and then i found some skeletons in the closet and the raised it to "someone whom you love".

if you love someone, it should be special enough. but if you're drunk, god save us all. stupid people should NOT (oops, sorry!) breed.

and remember, always be safe. protection could save a lot of innocent lives...

~*Sith*~

 

"stupid people should breed."


Really? That's a new one...

(I'm assuming that's a typo. If it's not -- um, oops. Heh heh. )

 

Condoms are the new morality. SithLordMara, don't let skeletons in your family's closet keep you from abandoning principles you once held. My family's skeletons didn't make me do that.

 

true, it should keep you even more deturmined to prove them all wrong and say "i can"...

but then i realized that i have a problem with commitment and can't ever get married...i mean hey, if i never actually "do the deed" then god bless me, and i won't "go to hell" like some people think...but really, my values changed as i got older and stopped thinking of myself as a spoiled obsessive princess who is too good for everyone except my knight in shining armor...

actually, i still think i'm too good for everyone except my knight...but he doesn't need to be in shining WHITE armor and neither do i...it's love that i care about. not legality.

"love lifts us up to where we belong, all you need is love!" ~Ewan

~*Sith*~