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Story [Vocaloid] The Bashing Hymn of Nell Akita (song parody)

Discussion in 'Non Star Wars Fan Fiction' started by Lazy K, Feb 16, 2013.

  1. Lazy K

    Lazy K Jedi Knight star 2

    Sep 22, 2012
    Where to start, where to start . . .

    The term vocaloid can refer to:

    1. A singing voice synthesizer developed by Yamaha Corporation.

    2. The humanoid persona of the aforementioned program.

    Akita Neru (*1) is a fan-made (*2) derivitative character of the vocaloid Hatsune Miku. She started out as an anti-otaku troll and has evolved into someone who appears hostile but, deep down, wants to be friends with those she antagonizes - though you may need a shovel to find that bit. I've tweaked her personality and history for this song parody.

    *1 Who I'm calling "Nell" because a) it's written the same way in katakana and b) it was easier to find words that rhymed with a existing English name.

    *2 Neru has been adopted by Crypton Future Media as an official character in 2008 and is subject to the terms of the Piapro Character License. Sorry about the Japanese, but I can't find an accurate English translation.


    To the melody of The Battle Hymn of the Republic:

    The Bashing Hymn of Nell Akita

    Mine eyes have seen the coming of the basher they call Nell
    She's insulting all her enemies and neutral folks as well
    Is she really being hostile or just acting - who can tell?
    The flames are rising high

    Flaming loudly at the users
    Aiming at the geeks and losers
    Claiming nothing will defuse her
    The flames are rising high​

    She has loosed the scathing epithets that she will not retract
    She is stomping on our egos without sympathy or tact
    You will not believe the arrogance with which her posts are packed
    The flames are rising high

    Trolling till we are deflated
    Going on and on with hatred
    Slowing only when she's sated
    The flames are rising high​

    I have seen her lighting fires in a thousand forum threads
    She is spitting in our faces, smacking us upside the head
    It's enough to bring those long-gone users rising from the dead
    The flames are rising high

    Roasting gushers to begin it
    Posting sixty times a minute
    Boasting this is not her limit
    The flames are rising high​

    I have read the warning posted by the moderating team
    "Please ignore the trolls because you're only giving them more steam"
    All I did with good intentions made things even worse, it seems
    The flames are rising high

    Breaking rules and regulations
    Faking tears of indignation
    Baiting us to aggravation
    The flames are rising high​

    It is very plain that it's your moral outrage that she craves
    If you let her get to you then you will dig an early grave
    So the Net shall be her soapbox where she stands and rants and raves
    The flames are rising high

    Baiting every forum member
    Waiting till we lose our temper
    Hating all who don't attend her
    The flames are rising high​

    In the geekdom of the Internet this little lass was born
    Her creations that she tried to share were met with open scorn
    In her bitterness and fury she's become the raging storm
    The flames are rising high

    Pouring fuel on the fire
    More until her zeal expires
    "Boring - I think I'll retire"
    The flames are rising high​
  2. NYCitygurl

    NYCitygurl Manager Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jul 20, 2002
    I've never heard of the character, but this is really quite funny! I love your song choice :D