Before Voices in the Wild - Response to Dare Challenge (Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, OCs) - Posted 5/12/06

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by WyoJedi, May 12, 2006.

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  1. WyoJedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2005
    star 4
    Title: Voices in the Wild
    Author: WyoJedi
    Timeframe: 10 years prior to TPM
    Characters: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and OCs
    Genre: Humor/Dare Challenge
    Author's Note: This is in response to the Dare Challenge. My challenge was: Write Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan paired up with another Knight and padawan pair. There must be plenty of animosity between - not the two teams - but between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. The other team must be sanctimonious, very polite. Only conversations, no descriptions at all. Obi and Qui might be any age. There must be a yellow room, a blue bottle, and wailing banshee. Master Yoda must fly through the Council Chamber. Someone must lose two tunics, and there must be a bowl of papli fruits turned over. A window must be smashed, and a door must get stuck.
    Disclaimer: Thanks to George Lucas for creating a world I can lose myself in. Also, I do not claim ownership of anything within the official Star Wars universe.



    ?Ok I have the fire going??

    ?It?s about time.?

    ?Obi-Wan, must we start this again??

    ?Start what? It only took you 25 minutes to light a campfire? and using fire starter no less. You?re quite the outdoorsman aren?t you??

    ?If it isn?t too much to ask, would you two not raise your voices, please. It is so unbecoming for a Jedi to have a temper. My padawan and I certainly would never think to do such a thing. Isn?t that right Moneus??

    ?Quite correct Master. It is indeed quite un-Jedi like.?

    ?So Sankta, what about all the times I see you and Moneus screaming at each other up and down the hallways of the temple??

    ?Oh you must be mistaken Qui-Gon. We wouldn?t do that. It must have just been a? voice lesson? yes, quite right.?

    ?Uh huh, right??

    ?Master Sankta, perhaps we could tell some stories around the campfire.?

    ?Wonderful idea Moneus. Does anyone have a story they would like to share.?

    ?Sure I have one? Once upon a time??

    ?Wait, wait, wait. Obi-Wan, why do your stories always start out with ?Once upon a time?? That is so boring, so old-fashioned. Why don?t you try something more hip, up to date? like ?A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away?.?

    ?Yeah, sure Master, whatever. Anyway? Once upon a time??

    ?Ugh.?

    ?Ahem! Once upon a time? there was a great Jedi Master. He was quite aged, yet had strength and wisdom beyond anyone in the entire Republic. His small stature did not keep him from doing remarkable deeds??

    ?Obi-Wan, is this another one of your Super-Yoda stories??

    ?Yeah. So?!?

    ?Don?t you know any other stories? Let me guess, Yoda is going to hear someone?s in trouble, then in true superhero fashion will fly around the Council Chambers before smashing through the window to save the day. Isn?t that about right??

    ?Fine! If you think you can do better then why don?t YOU tell a story.?

    ?Pardon me Qui-Gon. I don?t mean to intrude on the small disagreement you and your padawan are having, which Moneus and I would never have? but could you by chance pass the papli fruits this way please??

    ?Certainly. And I apologize for the arguments. It?s just that Obi-Wan can be so frustrating. Sometimes he?s such a pain in the? oops.?

    ?Oh, nice going Master. Leave it to you to knock over the entire bowl of papli fruits into the fire.?

    ?Excuse me Obi-Wan but I do not believe a padawan should speak that way toward their Master. I know I would never??

    ?Oh just shut it Moneus!?

    ?Obi-Wan that is enough! I have a half a mind to take you out in the woods and beat you within an inch of your life. Now just go to the cabin!?

    ?Half a mind. That about says it.?

    ?What??

    ?Nothing, nothing, nothing. I?m going. Umph! Aww nuts!?

    ?What?s wrong now??

    ?The door to the cabin? it?s stuck.?

    ?Well if you just take the handle and? Obi-Wan put down that lightsaber!?

    ?No problem! It?s open now.?

    ?Great. Sankta, what?s an aneurysm feel like??

    ?Well Qui-Gon, an aneurysm??

    ?It was a rhetorical question Sankta, meaning that boy is giving me a major headache.?

    ?O
  2. freakmoister Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    May 11, 2006
    I really couldn't stop laugthing during the story.
    Aces!
  3. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Sounds to me like 4 Jedi have been out on assignment way too long!

    Great response to the challenge

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  4. WyoJedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2005
    star 4
    freakmoister: I'm glad it turned out so well, and that people are liking the humor. Thanks for your comments.

    KELIA: Hahahaha! Yes they certainly need some time to cool down and relax don't they? Glad you liked the fic and found it so funny. Always glad to hear such nice comments. Thanks.

    Cheers,
    Wyo
  5. ophelia Cards Against Humanity Host. Ex-Mod

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 6
    A great job with the most heinous dare I've seen yet.

    ?Well if you just take the handle and? Obi-Wan put down that lightsaber!?

    [face_laugh]

    And Obi-Wan tells flying Super-Yoda stories?! Confused, Master Yoda would be by this. Hmm, yes.

    Sankta and Moneus were appropriately repulsive. And Obi-Wan was being perfectly awful, although he was still cute. Of course, he's cute when reheating soup, asking directions to the nearest fueling station, turning to the dark side and shooting Force lightning, etc.

    Qui-Gon shouldn't whack the poor kid, he should leave him in the cabin with the Sancta+Moneus team. That would zap 'em all. :p

    I don't know why it was so hilarious watching Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan argue, but it was. Very mice job with a nightmare dare. =D=
  6. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Yes, I think they need a break...from each other! [face_laugh]

    What a great challenge response! =D=
  7. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Excellent response to the challenge. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan really need a break. Sankta and Moneus really need to get a clue. LOL
  8. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Such a charming brat! :)

    That was truly wonderful, and hilarious! Great job!
  9. WyoJedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2005
    star 4
    ophelia: Yes this dare was quite the monster. I'm glad I was able to at least make something sensible out of the dare. This has been the toughest challenge I've had on the boards and it has been tremendous fun.

    Confused at the stories I think is an understatement. I just like the imagery of Yoda in a colorful cape zooming across the Coruscant skyline ala Superman.

    I'm glad you liked all the characterizations. I was kinda concerned with it being all dialogue that the personalities wouldn't come through as well. But it seems to have worked just fine. And yes I agree... being stuck in a room with Sankta and Moneus would have been quite the punishment, but for some reason I think of that as cruel and unusual :p

    Thanks!

    VaderLVR64: Haha! Yes they do! It seems that maybe they all need a time out! Bad Jedi! :D Thanks for the comments.

    Healer_Leona: Thank you! It was tough but I enjoyed it! I think I made Sankta and Moneus almost too sickeningly polite and self righhteous... Even I can't stand them!

    Valairy_Scot: You know, I've found that the people that like Obi-Wan will like him no matter how he acts. here I made him the kind of bratty teenager you just want to knock around, and yet you say he's charming (or were you talking about me :D )

    Thanks for your kind words. I'm glad I was able to brighten your day and bring some laughter.

    Cheers,
    Wyo
  10. brodiew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2005
    star 5
    This was clever, Wyo! I loved the strained, humorous banter from Qui-gon and Obi-wan.

    The other two insufferable Jedi were a kick as well.

    ?Half a mind. That about says it.?

    But this is my favorite line.

    good Dare response, Wyo!
  11. Meredith_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2005
    star 4
    ?Ok I have the fire going??

    ?It?s about time.?

    ?Obi-Wan, must we start this again??

    ?Start what? It only took you 25 minutes to light a campfire? and using fire starter no less. You?re quite the outdoorsman aren?t you??

    [face_laugh] 25 minutes?! Well done Qui! =D=

    ?If it isn?t too much to ask, would you two not raise your voices, please. It is so unbecoming for a Jedi to have a temper. My padawan and I certainly would never think to do such a thing. Isn?t that right Moneus??

    ?Quite correct Master. It is indeed quite un-Jedi like.?

    [face_sick]

    ?So Sankta, what about all the times I see you and Moneus screaming at each other up and down the hallways of the temple??

    =D= You tell 'em, Qui!

    ?Pardon me Qui-Gon. I don?t mean to intrude on the small disagreement you and your padawan are having, which Moneus and I would never have?but could you by chance pass the papli fruits this way please??

    [face_sick] [face_sick]

    ?Oh, nice going Master. Leave it to you to knock over the entire bowl of papli fruits into the fire.?

    ::sracasm:: Yeah, and I'm sure it was an accident. ::sarcasm:: Well done, again, Qui!

    ?Excuse me Obi-Wan but I do not believe a padawan should speak that way toward their Master. I know I would never??

    [face_sick] Just shut up, already!

    ?Oh just shut it Moneus!?

    Yeah!!! That's the spirit, Obi! [face_dancing]

    ?Obi-Wan that is enough! I have a half a mind to take you out in the woods and beat you within an inch of your life. Now just go to the cabin!?

    ?Half a mind. That about says it.?

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    I LOVED THIS!!!!!!!!!! =D= =D= =D= BRIALLIANT job on this, WyoJedi!!!
  12. Jade_Max Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 28, 2002
    star 5
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Only dialogue! Wow, now that's a challenge!! Wonderful stuff, and I agree - I think they've been on assignment too long *snork*
  13. WyoJedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2005
    star 4
    brodiew: Thanks for the comments. It was so easy to write them in this manner. I guess deep down I think they have always had that strained relationship. And I loved coming up with Sankta and Moneus... sickening as they were :D Thanks again.

    Meredith_Kenobi: Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it so thoroughly. There were so many good and humorous moments throughout the piece... it was so fun to write if nothing else. And to see someone else getting a kick out of the different parts is so heartening. Thank you so much for reading and enjoying this.

    Jade_Max: Yes, the only dialogue part was, I think, the toughest part of the dare. But I also think it had the greatest impact on the story, due to the fact that the reader comes up with all the extraneous information (descriptions, etc). It was definitely fun.

    I think that when they all get back to the temple they should all be given a relaxing break... from each other. Thanks.

    Cheers,
    Wyo
  14. Jade_Pilot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 10, 2005
    star 5
    OH-MY-GOSH! This was absolutely hysterical! [face_laugh]

    Your dare challenge was...it seemed...well, impossible, but you took it and made it work so well!

    Maybe if I didn?t have such a loser Master I might have turned out better!?

    ?Oh no you didn?t!?
    [face_laugh]

    I laughed through the entire piece! Bravo! =D=
  15. WyoJedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2005
    star 4
    Jade_Pilot: I love it when people say my stuff is funny. It brightens my day. Yeah the dare seemed impossible at the outset. I was really freaking trying to figure out some way to make it work. But it all came together fine.

    I'm so glad you liked the fic. And bringing laughter to your life is all the reward I need.

    Cheers,
    Wyo
  16. BrentusofGath Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 12, 2005
    star 4


    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Great response to a tough challenge. All dialogue, that's not an easy thing to do and make interesting, but you did very well.
  17. WyoJedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2005
    star 4
    BrentusofGath: Thank you for your response. I am really excited that people have enjoyed this little foray into the regions of non-description. It was certainly tough, but a lot of fun... and it really stretched my creative muscles. I really need to thank whoever came up with this wicked dare :D Thanks again.

    Cheers,
    Wyo
  18. Kissa Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 30, 2006
    star 3
    Brilliant challenge response WyoJedi!=D=

    I would have died without the power to describe.:p But you handled it very well. I absolutely love the dialogue between Obi-wan and Qui-gon. And the flying Super-Yoda stories that Obi tells . . .

    Well, I'd like to hear one.:D

    Again. This was an excellent response.

  19. WyoJedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2005
    star 4
    Kissa: Thank you! Brilliant is a powerful statement... but I'll take it :D

    Believe me having to do this all in dialogue was quite disconcerting. But that I was able to overcome this and write something people have enjoyed has been greatly satisfying. I'm glad you enjoyed the fic and were amused by it.

    So you want to hear a Super-Yoda story... Ok. Once upon a time... Well, maybe I should just write one and post it later :p

    Cheers,
    Wyo
  20. amidalachick Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2003
    star 5
    I think this is the hardest dare I've seen yet. But you did a super-fantastic job with it!

    ?If it isn?t too much to ask, would you two not raise your voices, please. It is so unbecoming for a Jedi to have a temper. My padawan and I certainly would never think to do such a thing. Isn?t that right Moneus??

    ?Quite correct Master. It is indeed quite un-Jedi like.?


    No wonder Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are bickering so much! They have to balance out these two! :p

    ?Don?t you know any other stories? Let me guess, Yoda is going to hear someone?s in trouble, then in true superhero fashion will fly around the Council Chambers before smashing through the window to save the day. Isn?t that about right??

    That is an awesome mental image. Super Flying Yoda, I love it! [face_laugh]

    ?Look Master I?m sorry! Geez, why do you always have to dump on me? It?s not like I meant to lose the tunics, or dump the rum, or anything. Maybe if I didn?t have such a loser Master I might have turned out better!?

    [face_laugh]

    ?If it?s folklore then why am I hearing it so clearly??

    ?Because? I?m going to kill that boy!?


    *pictures Qui-Gon strangling Obi-Wan like Homer does to Bart in The Simpsons* [face_laugh]

    This was hilarious, Wyo! Again, fantastic job! =D=
  21. WyoJedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2005
    star 4
    amidalachick: Thanks! Everyone says how hard this dare was... glad I wasn't the only one to think so :)

    Yes Qui and Obi really had their hands full with those two didn't they? But you just can't help relishing in the sickeningly smirky tone they gave off.

    So many people loved the Super-Yoda stuff... I really have to plan out a story for that.

    I'm glad I was able to bring some humor into your day. My work here is done :D Thanks again!

    Cheers,
    Wyo
  22. bi0nic Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2006
    star 3
    Ouch, that dare is ridiculous. If I'd have got that one, I would have hid under my bed, sucking my thumb and cursing the person who gave me it to the bowels of pus-spewing hell. :p

    Way to rise to the occasion though Wyo, that was fantastic! Qui and Obi worked great in having a relationship that seemed more akin to parent/child than Master/Padawan.

    Brilliant! =D=
  23. WyoJedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2005
    star 4
    bi0nic: It was tough but I bungled my way through it :p

    I'm so glad people are liking this. I like that you picked up on the parent/child type relationship. I've always thought that Qui-Gon was more than just a teacher to Obi, more like a father figure.

    Brilliant? That's high praise. Thank you very much.

    Cheers,
    Wyo
  24. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    ?If it?s folklore then why am I hearing it so clearly??

    ?Because? I?m going to kill that boy!?


    [face_laugh] I laughed my way through the story. Wonderfully done, and you put in blue bottles and banshees and everything. :D Poor Obi-Wan, starting on his 'Once upon a time...' stories. And Sankta and Moneus take the cake. Bravo!

    Ouch, that dare is ridiculous. If I'd have got that one, I would have hid under my bed, sucking my thumb and cursing the person who gave me it to the bowels of pus-spewing hell.


    *grins* WyoJedi's done a wonderful job of it. I'm glad I thought of it. [face_laugh]

  25. WyoJedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2005
    star 4
    Princess_Arulmozhi: Well I am so pleased that I was able to give you a laugh :D You came up with a first rate dare, Highness. I loved all the little details you threw in there for me to add. It was a lot of fun. Thanks a million!

    Cheers,
    Wyo
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