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Saga Void & Vastness--A TPM Obi-Wan Vignette

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by LuvEwan, Jan 23, 2004.

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  1. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    Void & Vastness

    The dark, fateful night that marks the end of one life and the beginning of another in a single heart.

    PG (Nothing unacceptable; Just heavy angst)

    Main Character: Obi-Wan Kenobi
    Secondary Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, Anakin Skywalker

    Disclaimer: The Star Wars Universe is the sole property of George Lucas. I receive no profit from this, or any work related to the franchise.

    Disclaimer 2: I started writing this in June and thought I should finish it up, since I was stuck on my other stories. Nothing new or particularly interesting, so be warned. This is oft-tread territory here.

    <>

    The deep, rich obsidian spread across his vision, a black horizon whose purity was ruined by the clusters of tiny white pinpricks. As he narrowed his gaze, sharp and keen, the blue-tinted haze swarming the distant echoes of light was clear, so that each glowing ethereal thread could be traced.

    Obi-Wan remembered climbing up to the highest creche window, blunt, pudgy fingers pressed against the glass, reverent breaths appearing as warm clouds on the transparent surface, and mind filled with night's glittering blanket.

    Staring out from the confines of the massive Temple, he would smile softly, and wonder why the stars swirled as if in the midst of a secret, tender rhythm.

    During tumultuous moments, Obi-Wan would look to space, and feel some bare sense of serenity.

    But tonight, with the cold biting and atmosphere?distracting, the Jedi Padawan realized that the familiar backdrop was still.

    Halted in the much-beloved dance.

    Dead to needful eyes.

    Motionless as his heart, it seemed.

    He sighed, resting his chin on the heel of his hand, knees pressed to his chest. The padded bench was tucked into a lonely corner of the vessel; a place that bathed his smooth, gold-tinted skin in shadow and caressed the shape of his cheekbone in liquid dusk.

    Voices floated from the distance. The quiet murmurs of handmaidens, young girls swathed in identical, flowing velvet garb, passive demeanors replaced by true personality, drifting past him, a flicker of their chestnut eyes denouncing the idea that he was invisible here.

    A disagreeing sound from Panaka, who was engaged in some irritated debate with a fellow bodyguard.

    The mellifluous lilt of the Queen added to the mesh of sound as she conversed with her most trusted protector. Sabe laughed lightly at something the sovereign said and muttered her own sly response.

    Obi-Wan tipped his head to rest against the window. The veil of secrecy surrounding the two within the Force would soon be lifted, the apprentice predicted with a feeble ghost of a smile. For now, he marveled at their level of skillful deception?The two girls had even managed to fool his attentive Master, if only for awhile?.

    His Master.

    He swallowed, sealing his eyes against the artificial lighting as if it were potent as the blinding rays of a sun.

    Qui-Gon's rumbling vocals could also be heard within the silvery, steel bowels of the ship. Its crisp, cultured tone rose above the others, even with the rivalry of Anakin Skywalker's loud exclamations.

    He did not mean to eavesdrop, would have rather jammed his fingers tight in his ears than listen to their friendly exchange. His Master, the man he had spent half his life beside, was most likely oblivious to his student, focus trained on the chatting child, interjecting whenever prompted.

    An ache collected in Obi-Wan's chest.

    He tried to understand Qui-Gon's perspective. After all, he was a revered member of the Order, trusted with missions and the weight of responsibility others would cripple under. He was the rumored rogue, the eloquent mediator, the hardened warrior?the seasoned teacher.

    Surely he foresaw an incredible future for the boy, an illustrious destiny?A path that must be followed, even if it meant that certain obstacles would be cast from the fabled avenue of the Chosen One.

    Of course, I was always in the way.

    Obi-Wan found there was no bit
     
  2. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    Better up before it falls from the page. ;)
     
  3. Forbidden_Donut

    Forbidden_Donut Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jan 19, 2004
    Omg! This was so poignant! You write emotions so vividly, and now I want to cry. Wonderful, angsty vignette. I wonder what a vignette from Qui-Gon's perspective would show.

    Thanks.
     
  4. Forbidden_Donut

    Forbidden_Donut Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jan 19, 2004
    Hey, what gives?! This doesn't belong on page 2. :(
     
  5. Lurkalidth

    Lurkalidth Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2003
    Hi. :D I liked this a lot. This was a real tear-jerker. But it wasn't a manipulative work; there are some films I watch that press buttons and make me reach for the Kleenex, but I feel manipulated. Not so here. This is very deep. You've reached into the innermost core of what makes Obi-Wan tick. This makes Jinn's skewering all the more tragic, for one can only imagine how this variant of Obi-Wan would react thereto.

    Brava! Or is Bravissima a word?

    If I can say anything, and I think I will, it would be that I'd wonder whether Qui-Gon was aware of how he just destroyed his apprentice.
     
  6. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    I had that hated Council scene in my head as I read this. Imagining the look of betrayal on his face as I read this made me want to either scream at Jinn or rip his head off! :mad: Wonderful way to stir my emotions my dear. ;)
     
  7. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    The others are right. This isn't an emotional tearjerker. It is just a great job of describing emotion.
     
  8. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    F_D Thanks for the up. ;)

    Lurkalidth Thanks again for your support. :) And I'm so glad this wasn't manipulative. I felt like this wasn't anything at all, while I was writing it and when I posted it. You've given it more meaning and worth for me. Thanks so much. ;)

    o_e Thank you. [face_love]

    PK [face_blush]
     
  9. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    You wrote a beautiful POV piece of Obi-Wan. Really liked the descriptions. Of course, you know I hated the premise but then, hey it's me...

    Good job.
     
  10. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    diane Thank you. [face_love]
     
  11. Opal

    Opal Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2003
    I'm amazed. You have several excellent ongoing stories, and yet you still find time to post these wonderful vignettes.
     
  12. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    ^
    |
    |

    What they all said. Great job, LE!

    Shaindl

    (yes, I am lazy today...) :D
     
  13. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    Opal Thanks so much. [face_love]

    Shaindl Lazy? I hear that happens in the golden years. 8-}
     
  14. Sheila

    Sheila Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 6, 2002
    Beautifully written LE. You are one of the best at describing emotions and this was no exception, it was simply heartwrenching.
     
  15. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    Sheila Thank you. [face_love] You're the best. ;)
     
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