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Saga Waiting For Vader (Response to an OC Dueling Circle Challenge)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Winged_Jedi, Jan 7, 2006.

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  1. Winged_Jedi

    Winged_Jedi Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 28, 2003
    Notes: Here's my response to the OC Dueling Circle Challenge no.14. The time period is a few years before ANH. Enjoy.




    [b][i]Waiting For Vader[/b][/i]


    [b]Day One[/b]

    ?Oh, you?re dead now, buddy.?

    The comment was only half-joking. Not even that. A quarter-joking, then, if such a phrase existed. In fact, come to think of it, who said anything about joking at all? The tone might have implied such, but that was only because that buffoon of a lieutenant seemed to find [i]everything[/i] amusing. Really, the only inaccuracy about the statement was that Captain Jacob Korell was not actually dead [i]yet[/i]- a minor detail that would no doubt be resolved in the days to come. Indeed, the executioner himself was apparently on the way, to check on progress.

    [i]Check on progress,[/i] mused Jacob bitterly. [i]Check on progress. He knows fine well what?s happened here. He knows that this has become a farce. He knows what will happen to me, I know it, and clearly that blasted Podolak knows it too, because he?s grinning from ear to ear.[/i]

    ?Lieutenant!? barked Jacob suddenly, glaring over at his subordinate. ?I am not entirely sure what is so humorous about our spectacular failure in capturing the Jedi we were sent to capture on this accursed planet. Nor do I see potential for hilarity in the fact that Lord Vader himself will be arriving in two weeks? time to check on us. But perhaps you, gifted comedian that you are, can enlighten me??

    ?Nothing, nothing,? replied Podolak, rubbing his unshaven chin and still smirking. ?It?s just that I hear choking?s not the best way to go, buddy.?

    ?I am not your??buddy?, Lieutenant. You will address me as ?Sir? or ?Captain?.?

    ?Three years together at academy, and you still can?t lighten up, huh? There?s no one here, Jake. Just me and you in this office, and outside, some bored soldiers probably playing sabacc, and then you?ve got the big bad jungle. No one else. No one?s making sure we stick to protocol out here. Palpatine ain?t peering over your shoulder.?

    ?But soon Lord Vader will be. And that?s [i]Emperor[/i] Palpatine, by the way. There needs to be some discipline in this place. Perhaps if there was more, we?d have that blasted Jedi by now!?

    ?Calm down,? said Podolak, resting a hand on his comrade?s shoulder. ?We?ll have him in a week. Where?s he gonna go? Where?s he gonna hide? Don?t worry.?

    With a parting wink, the man was gone, striding out into the twilight to join the rest of the men, who were indeed playing card games. Jacob watched them for a moment, and slammed his door shut. This was not what he had joined the troops for. This kind of stress. Dropped off on an outer rim wilderness with a squad and told to find a Jedi. What kind of orders were they?

    And that choking jibe had shaken him more than was intended. He?d heard stories about such nightmarish things. Men clutching at their throats as something invisible, unseen grabbed them?some sort of sorcery?and all the while, the leering, towering figure of that black-armoured monstrosity watching you, one hand outstretched maybe, his gloved fingers curled into a claw shape. Apparently he was fond of dark humour before and after the event, such as ?You are fortunate that I am feeling merciful today?, before he cracked your neck. It was difficult not to fear a machine that could make you froth at the mouth simply by staring at you and pointing. Certainly he took the ?if? out of the phrase ?if looks could kill?. What a horrible creature he was.

    Jacob reached into the drawer under his desk, and pulled out a bottle of fine Kuati port. At least there were some remnants of civilisation left in all this madness.


    [b]Day Two[/b]

    There were no reports of any Jedi sighting or fighting, much to Jacob?s dismay. Podolak reassured him that Vader might not take a full minute to kill him, or might not kill him at all. Apparently maiming was a distinct possibility.

    ?I wonder if it?s possible to ask for a quick death,? said Jacob, thinking aloud.

    ?Wouldn?t work,? replied Podolak. ?Reverse ps
     
  2. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    A unique and well crafted response! I loved it! =D= Your OC was simply amazing.
     
  3. PadwanKayla

    PadwanKayla Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 2, 2005
    ...so he returned to his office and counted Vaders to send himself to sleep
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
    What a fabulous image! Are they jumping fences or force choking?

    This really was a great story and a facinating OC! He certainly did fail in a spectacular way! Great job.=D=
     
  4. princess_melissa

    princess_melissa Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 7, 2005
    Nice responce to the challange. Definatally failed, and definatally paid for it.

    ...so he returned to his office and counted Vaders to send himself to sleep
    That was my favorite line too. Counting Vaders... I'll have to try that some time.

    Good Job!
     
  5. oqidaun

    oqidaun Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2005
    [face_laugh] Brilliant!!!

    This was outstanding! I loved every last bit of it from the buddy/sir issue to plans to befriend the Jedi in jungle to the bucket of water!

    Bravo!

    He pulled away the blanket.

    ?Dammit.?


    --Priceless!
     
  6. Zane-Marit

    Zane-Marit Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2003
    I knew where this was going and enjoyed every step of it. Well done!!!
     
  7. Winged_Jedi

    Winged_Jedi Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 28, 2003
    VaderLVR64: I'm glad you liked the guy, he turned out a lot better than I expected. Thank you! :D

    PadawanKayla: Are they jumping fences or force choking? Both, probably :p Thanks for the comments :)

    princess_melissa: Cheers, and counting Vaders actually works, I've tried it

    oqidaun: Thanks! I'd been thinking for ages what to write for this challenge with no success, and then when I thought up this OC, the parts you mentioned came to me in pretty rapid succession, so I'm glad you liked it all.

    Zane-Marit: Glad you enjoyed it :D
     
  8. Meredith_Kenobi

    Meredith_Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2005
    Certainly he took the ?if? out of the phrase ?if looks could kill?. What a horrible creature he was.

    Too true, too true...

    ?I wonder if it?s possible to ask for a quick death,? said Jacob, thinking aloud.

    ?Wouldn?t work,? replied Podolak. ?Reverse psychology. He?d just give you a really drawn out one. Probably begin by paralysing you. Then cutting off air supply, ever so slowly, until you begin to go blue. Then maybe, he?d make your body spasm painfully before-?

    ?Oh shut up,? said Jacob, and was silent for a moment, before saying, ?Should I ask for a slow death then? Going by the principle of reverse psychology.?

    ?No. Because in that scenario you have to apply the principle of non-reverse psychology.?

    ?Non-reverse? What does that mean??

    ?It means he gives you what you want and you die a slow death.?

    ?Oh.?


    [face_laugh] In a morbid way, this was kinda' funny...

    The rate at which his men were declining depressed him, so he returned to his office and counted Vaders to send himself to sleep.

    Counted Vader's to fall asleep, eh? I can't imagine Vader's a very soothing image to fall asleep to... Ah well, to each his own. :p

    =D= Fantastic fic, Winged_Jedi! Your OC was amazing, and so was the plot. Well done!!!
     
  9. Winged_Jedi

    Winged_Jedi Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 28, 2003
    Meredith_Kenobi: Thank you, thank you. I'm very happy with the way this little tale has been received. It turned out morbidly funny in places like you said, which I think has worked well. Cheers! :)
     
  10. correllian_ale

    correllian_ale Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 20, 2005
    [face_laugh] Every work place should have a Podolak!
    I liked the count-dwon to "doomsday" too.
    And Jacobs turned out to be a thick-headed idiot!
    Great job Winged_Jedi!
     
  11. Commander-DWH

    Commander-DWH Manager Emeritus star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 3, 2003
    I didn't get around to reading this on time, but this was fantastically hilarious and deserved the win. :D The sudden reversal at the end was priceless, so well done!

    Dousing Vader in water. *giggles and shakes head* Sheer brilliance, that is. It takes a special kind of desperation to think that'll work.
     
  12. Winged_Jedi

    Winged_Jedi Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 28, 2003
    correllian-ale: Why thank you. :D Yeah, I like Podolak too. I think I might write more on this pair, maybe their adventures before this story or something.

    Commander-DWH: Thanks! :) I'm delighted you liked the Vader and water bit, it just seemed the logical step for someone so desperate.
     
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