Beyond - Legends Wasn't Enough (Zekk, post-NJO, Angst, Song-fic) *authoress unveiled!!*

Title: Wasn?t Enough

Author: Agent_Jaid

Disclaimer: The song title is ?Another Day? and the artist is some really cool dude named Lemar. Sounds Hebrew if you ask me, but that?s not the point. These are his characters, and probably his setting (I?m not all that sure where this fic is set to be honest?) but the plot is mine, but I still own nothing. Except for my college debt, and you can have that.

Key Words: Zekk, Jaina, broken, alone, tears

Genre: angst

Dedication: To those who felt empty and worthless

Summary: A worthless story about someone who wasn?t enough?





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Wasn?t Enough






Is it really over, between us two?
Then why don't you love me?
The way that I still love you


Zekk was sitting in an empty bedroom, staring at the open doorway. His skin was as pale as alabaster, and the tear stains on his cheeks made his face shine in the soft lighting. His emerald eyes were black with suppressed misery and pain as he clenched a strained fist around the flimsiplast in his hand. He didn't have to look at the spidery black ink to be able to read what Jaina had written. It had been engraved in his mind, each word taunting his sanity, each letter mocking his struggle to control his raging emotions.

"Jaina," he whispered softly, his tongue felt thick. "Jaina, wasn't I enough?"

He tried to understand her motives, to understand why she had simply left him, but it was difficult to think past the pain. He still loved her, didn't she love him?

Her voice whispered in his heart. "Love can't overcome some things, Zekk. Like you."


So many mistakes made, in so little time
Girl I'm so regretful
I must've been outta my mind


Everything that had gone wrong was Zekk?s fault ? and even if it really wasn?t, he blamed himself for it anyways. He?d probably asked for it, and now he was living to regret it. That is, if the feeling that stole his breath and left him defenseless against the anguish coiling in his middle could actually be called ?living?.

Zekk let himself fall backwards, landing on the soft bed that he and Jaina had lain on so many times, just snuggling. She had said she wanted to take things slowly. That she didn?t know if she really could love again ? didn?t know if she could love him again. He had promised to do everything she wanted to. But he couldn?t help it.

He hadn?t meant to fall in love with her that much. He only wanted to protect her. He hadn?t meant for her to find out what he wanted more than anything.

Zekk laughed hollowly. Even that was his fault ? if he hadn?t been out of his mind for her, he would?ve remembered that keeping secrets from Jaina was an exercise in futility.


I don't wanna live another day
Without you by my side
I don't wanna run any more
Runnin' outta places to hide


The next morning was cold and misty. Zekk had slept fitfully, curled up on top of the covers; his arms wrapped tightly around himself like it could hide him from the truth.

But the day tore that hiding place away from him with a ruthlessness that left him reeling. Outside of Zekk?s small, tastefully decorated flat, the world was grey and covered with a fog that matched the pain that blanketed his heart.

Stepping out onto his small balcony, Zekk?s face was stony, but the tears he cried didn?t erode the surface no matter how much he wanted to die ? to never have to face another day.

Another day with her memory. The first day without her smile.

Zekk?s legs weakened and he stumbled forward, grabbing onto the metal railing along the balcony, trying desperately not to pitch forward into darkness. ?No...? his voice was like a small boy?s. ?Jaya, don?t be gone please... I need you...?

But like a small abandoned boy, only the freezing world answered him, and the angel who could save him, continued on without looking behind her. Not even once.

 

...amazing!! thats really all i can say...absolutely amazing!


MaraJ

 

Crap, I ran out of crying faces. It was good, but sad!!!

Night fell on the darkest knight for one last time, and the Force echoed with the pain he had held inside his heart. But Jaina never cared.

That line got me. If I had anymore crying faces I would use them. Beautiful, beautiful!!! I loved it.

EDIT: What's with the sock? Just curious, you don't have to answer.

 

I've tried very hard to write very angsty Zekk in a few of my stories.

You win.



Well written, thanks for sharing this.

 

That was sooo sad. Bad, bad Jaina!

Zonoma

(oh, oh, can I be rebound girl???? oh darn! i am already married so i guess that wouldn't be very nice to my husband) *sigh* got carried away, there

 

Wow.













Damn, but you're a good writer. And you are not worthless! Yeesh!

Beautiful, there. Very angsty Zekk, and I liked how he just seemed to... fade away. Jaina, you heartless harpy! How dare you leave Zekk for... for Raynar?? And Raynar, how dare you leave Lusa!

*Jon powers up and smites both*

 

RK,

Well, since this is post-NJO Lusa is dead. I can forgive Raynar for taking comfort in a childhood friend... but Jaina is stark raving mad!!!!! How else can anyone explain her trading in Zekk for Raynar?????

*sighing*

That is not completely true, either. When I was a girl I had this boyfriend who worshipped the ground I walked on and it DROVE ME NUTS!!!!! I really liked the guy but I eventually broke up with him so that I could date someone who would admit I was a mortal, too. Girls are funny that way, huh? We love to be worshipped but at the same way we are worse than toddlers in that we respect when someone sets boundaries... I think it makes us feel safer, gives us (ironically) freedom of choice without complete responsibilty. Hmmmm. I'm feeling a fic coming on cuz this dribble (I don't think) is very intelligent and THIS is an interesting concept. One that is old but close to the heart.

Your friendly neighborhood babbler,
Zonoma

 

Lovely! Wonderful job! The imagry you used throughtout the entire fic was just beautiful, and you did a great job getting inside Zekk's head.

The kind, gentle darkest knight had ceased to exist in the backlash of Jaina?s parting.

That line, especially the contridictions at the begining, was awesome!

Whatever it had been that he had been expecting, it most assuredly wasn?t Raynar?s voice, proclaiming that he and his fiancé, Jaina Solo were out. Fiancé. Jaina.

Haha, Raynar is one slick dude! Bringing him into this made my day!

 

MaraJade1225

...amazing!! thats really all i can say...absolutely amazing!


You're making me blush!! Thank you for your sweet words.




Jedi_Bubbles

Crap, I ran out of crying faces.

Remind me to teach you how to make twice as many faces...

It was good, but sad!!!

That's kind of what I was aiming for...

Night fell on the darkest knight for one last time, and the Force echoed with the pain he had held inside his heart. But Jaina never cared.

That line got me. If I had anymore crying faces I would use them. Beautiful, beautiful!!! I loved it.

I had absolutely NO IDEA how this fic should end so at the last minute I scribbled that first part out because I really liked the Jaina Never Cared bit....

What's with the sock? Just curious, you don't have to answer.

I don't really feel like claiming credit for this fic. *shrugs*




Neo-Paladin

I've tried very hard to write very angsty Zekk in a few of my stories. You win.

! Aw thanks hon! That made my day, seriously.

Well written, thanks for sharing this.

Not a problem, although I have to admit, I almost didn't put it up, even though I always was planning to put it up under a sock... yeah....



Zonoma

That was sooo sad. Bad, bad Jaina!

Yes!! Bad Jaina! ***** Jaina!!

(oh, oh, can I be rebound girl????

....no....

oh darn! i am already married so i guess that wouldn't be very nice to my husband) *sigh* got carried away, there

I'm sure Zekk and your hubby will forgive you. ^_^ But I don't blame you.....




RK_Striker_JK_5

Wow.

Wow? :-\ *peers down*













Damn, but you're a good writer. And you are not worthless! Yeesh!

*GLOWS* .... I know that now, but when I started writing this (while I was on my trip), you wouldn't have been able to convince me otherwise. It really wasn't pretty. >_<

Beautiful, there. Very angsty Zekk, and I liked how he just seemed to... fade away.

I figured that that's what would've happened if he loved Jaina that much and she knew it and she left him anyways....


Jaina, you heartless harpy! How dare you leave Zekk for... for Raynar?? And Raynar, how dare you leave Lusa!

Raynar didn't leave Lusa, Lusa died. But yes Jaina is a ***** of a heartless harpy. *grinds Jaina into tiny peices*

*Jon powers up and smites both*

Or that works!!




I'm sorry I don't have time to do the other two IR's!!! I'll do them after school, I promise!! *runs off* I'M LAAAAAAAAATE!!!!

 

Well done, but now I need something fluffy and light!

 

Zonoma


RK, Well, since this is post-NJO Lusa is dead. I can forgive Raynar for taking comfort in a childhood friend... but Jaina is stark raving mad!!!!!

I know this isn't addressed to me, but... I SO TOTALLY AGREE!!!!!!!!!!! 0_0

How else can anyone explain her trading in Zekk for Raynar?????

Insane writer?

*sighing* That is not completely true, either. When I was a girl I had this boyfriend who worshipped the ground I walked on and it DROVE ME NUTS!!!!! I really liked the guy but I eventually broke up with him so that I could date someone who would admit I was a mortal, too. Girls are funny that way, huh? We love to be worshipped but at the same way we are worse than toddlers in that we respect when someone sets boundaries... I think it makes us feel safer, gives us (ironically) freedom of choice without complete responsibilty. Hmmmm. I'm feeling a fic coming on cuz this dribble (I don't think) is very intelligent and THIS is an interesting concept. One that is old but close to the heart.

A fic?

Your friendly neighborhood babbler,
Zonoma

Actually I thought you were very concise...





Lusa_Thul

Lovely! Wonderful job! The imagry you used throughtout the entire fic was just beautiful, and you did a great job getting inside Zekk's head.

I love you. (You can tell when you're a fanfic writer when you start to glow when someone says you can "get inside" a guy's head, and you're a girl... )

The kind, gentle darkest knight had ceased to exist in the backlash of Jaina?s parting.

That line, especially the contridictions at the begining, was awesome!



Whatever it had been that he had been expecting, it most assuredly wasn?t Raynar?s voice, proclaiming that he and his fiancé, Jaina Solo were out. Fiancé. Jaina.

Haha, Raynar is one slick dude! Bringing him into this made my day!

I swear I didn't plan for it really. I just couldn't think of any other guys around Jaina's age that might be able to put up with her and I didn't want to have to build an OC...









Healer_Leona

Title: Fan Fiction Manager

0_0 a MOD!? *FAINT*

First off must add a new name to the list of Jaina's ... loves... check one Raynar.

Wow... that does sound kind of random when you put it like that...

Second, that was so very sad. Well written because if the point was to break hearts and cause tears, you succeeded.

Tears? Are you serious!? Sad is easy to write, what can I say? I'm glad you thought it was well written....


a mod]..... ....



VaderLVR64

Title: Fan Fiction Moderator

<shriek> TWO OF THEM!?!?!?!?! !!!!!!!!!!!!!! *dazzeled*

Well done, but now I need something fluffy and light!

.... *pats you on the shoulder comfortingly* Uh.... there there?....

 

Wow. That was beautiful. I really feel like hurting Jaina now.

Whatever it had been that he had been expecting, it most assuredly wasn?t Raynar?s voice, proclaiming that he and his fiancé, Jaina Solo were out. Fiancé. Jaina.

Raynar? Kriffin' Raynar?

 

!!!! I have to admit, your reaction was EXACTLY what I was aiming for!! (Tears was another thing I was trying to get, but, hey, yours is pretty damn awesome too )

And yes dear, Raynar. Can't you see it happening?

 

Raynar how could you?!
Jaina, how could you!?

Poor Zekk...awesome fic, amazing angst, great emotion and depth...poor Zekk...

 

... I was given a mini-lecture from my brother to admit so... er... I did it?


ZekksGoddess

Raynar how could you?!
Jaina, how could you!?

Oh dear!! I love you!! Your reaction has almost made me too happy to write the fic I'm working on right now. Heather is upset now.

Poor Zekk...awesome fic, amazing angst, great emotion and depth...poor Zekk...

.... I do torture him an awful lot... don't I.... ....

 

To Zonoma:

I don't really count the NJO as canon. In my mind, Lusa is alive and well.

EDIT:

And Mel? I'm glad you took credit for this. It is really good.

And mini-lecture? Heh.

 

*****TJK SPOILERS********
you were warned..........

RK,

Ahhh. That's kind of how I feel about Alema right now. She'll be back and the others won't be zombies forever.

Kriffin' Joiner King.

Zonoma

P.S. I miss Lusa, too. I guess I've just had enough time to adjust.

 

I don't think I will, though. I'll admit, Lusa wasn't my favorite character, but she was up there. And the way she was killed in SBS was one of the worst ways to kill someone.

 

No doubt.... dying a ponitless death just to give the lead characters someone to mourn pretty much sucks for a hero.

Zonoma

 

Mourned for a whole paragraph, just to build up those damned Voxyns...

I hate the NJO...

 

I have a love/hate relationship with NJO. I love Vergere. I love Sekot. I hate wimpy Jacen. LOVE "choose and act" Jacen. You get the picture. Just don't get me started on Chewie and Anakin! I miss Zekk and have learned to love Kyp and Capt. Cardboard.

Zonoma

 

You weren't willing to take credit for this, Agent_Jaid?! Wow!

I have to say,the angst in this fic is heart-rending, makes me want to write a flip side, where Jaina's the one running after Zekk 'cause he's decided she's not what he needs. Heh.

Great job, a wonferul angsty viggie - the abrupt ending suits it.




Can I put it in the J/Z library with the rest of your fics?

 

Jon

And Mel? I'm glad you took credit for this. It is really good. And mini-lecture? Heh.

Eh.... And to me, a glare can constitute as a mini-lecture.



Zonoma

*****TJK SPOILERS********
you were warned..........
RK,
Ahhh. That's kind of how I feel about Alema right now. She'll be back and the others won't be zombies forever.
Kriffin' Joiner King.

I thought everyone loved TJK?

P.S. I miss Lusa, too. I guess I've just had enough time to adjust.

Lusa never died. the NJO is going to end with Mara waking up in bed, gasping for breath, unable to believe what a horrible nightmare she had, and then go hug her grand neice, Zekia Ennth....



Jon

I don't think I will, though. I'll admit, Lusa wasn't my favorite character, but she was up there. And the way she was killed in SBS was one of the worst ways to kill someone.

Maybe it's just me, but anyway of killing someone is just plain mean. >_>




Zonoma

No doubt.... dying a ponitless death just to give the lead characters someone to mourn pretty much sucks for a hero.

....




Jon

Mourned for a whole paragraph, just to build up those damned Voxyns... I hate the NJO...

Ah... the reasons I hide from the NJO....



Zonoma

I have a love/hate relationship with NJO. I love Vergere. I love Sekot. I hate wimpy Jacen. LOVE "choose and act" Jacen. You get the picture. Just don't get me started on Chewie and Anakin! I miss Zekk and have learned to love Kyp and Capt. Cardboard.

.......



Jade_Max

You weren't willing to take credit for this, Agent_Jaid?! Wow!

It's dark. *shrugs* I just... I don't really feel all that easy with taking credit for it I guess.

I have to say,the angst in this fic is heart-rending, makes me want to write a flip side, where Jaina's the one running after Zekk 'cause he's decided she's not what he needs. Heh.

ooooh!!! That sounds like fun. ^_^ Although I probably would be cackling horribly and cheering Zekk on but hey, that's just me.

Great job, a wonferul angsty viggie - the abrupt ending suits it.

It ended like that 'cause I ran out of lyrics and writing it was way too draining for me to keep it up voluntarily.

I'm really glad you liked it. I can't really believe that JM read something of mine....