Beyond "Wasting the Day in Bedlam" - Dear Diary Challenge 2012- Updated 10/16

You do realize that Zuckuss isn't what most people would regard as "special," I hope. An illness does not make someone "special" as in riding the short bus.

Just sayin'.

Zuckuss's diagnoses don't affect his cognition, as throughout his career, he was a very capable bounty hunter, in league with the top ten. He just has more inner demons to contend with, but he managed.

Anywho, new entry.


First month, 31st day, 28 ABY

Zuckuss notes the presence of a new guard during the evening. This new guard [apparently] completed training and was a recent hire. Zuckuss can tell this easily by one thing: the guard's shoes are shiny and new.

This new guard, Zuckuss noticed, tends to [leer] at him. He makes frequent [checks] on Zuckuss's cell. Since Zuckuss doesn't [sleep] much, until [he] is given his medication, he sees the guard making [fifteen]-minute checks, rather than the standard hourly checks. He is becoming a [illegible] bit wary of this guard... There is just something about the man that has Zuckuss on edge...

Zuckuss is also worried about the shocks. He already [had] his [examination] and tests on his heart. He will soon be transferred to the infirmary to begin the treatment. He is scared. He is very scared. He is afraid that he made a big mistake.

He also [hopes] that the shocks destroy the Corellian.

The guard looked in on Zuckuss again. Zuckuss [returned] the guard's gaze until he walked away. It is almost as if the guard is waiting for Zuckuss to do something that could be misconstrued as [illegible] [insubordination].

And there was the guard again! Zuckuss asked the guard why he was making such frequent checks, and the guard said that it is [because] Zuckuss is [still] awake. Zuckuss [explained] why he doesn't sleep much until his [medication] takes effect and the guard left. [illegible]

Zuckuss is going to at least lay down and [rest] [quietly]. Hopefully that will dissuade any further checks at least for [tonight].


Doctor's note: I will need to confirm this with the nightshift guards, to see if one of them is indeed making frequent bed checks. If they are, and if there is no reason to do so, I will ask them to stop, as it will only serve to feed Zuckuss's delusions.

Earlier this week, I had spoken to Zuckuss concerning his upcoming ECT treatment and had shown him some of the equipment. During the discussion, he grew increasingly anxious and had vomited. Prior to his transfer, I may prescribe a mild sedative to relax him. ?Dr. Gawynn Karastee

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Uh-oh. Big Trouble in Little Bedlam, methinks...

If he indeed has a nightly visitor than it is bad news.

*remembers something that she read in an old James Herbert book called "Moon" and shivers*

Creepy guard

Just some fanart to coincide with Dr. Karastee's note.

[image=http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/1342/ectdiscussion.jpg]

And to ease up on my crazy (no pun intended) updates, I took Zuckuss's journal away from him for this week.

nice piece of art

Okay, I gave Zuckuss his journal back. He can have it until Sunday, when I take it again and put it away for the week.


[image=http://img28.imageshack.us/img28/289/prepfortreatment.jpg]

Second month, 3rd day, 28 ABY

I may be crazy, but I'll be damned before I let others think that I'm stupid.

I was [illegible] speaking with Dr. Karastee and meeting with some other doctors who will be doing my shocks and [illegible] observing. One of them spoke to me as if I were a child. Everything was said with this sing-song voice as if I were simple. Why do people do [that] to me?

Craddossk [sic] did that. He spoke to me as if I were simple. He called me "boy" and "child." He thought I was stupid. Gheeta called me a "little creature." He thought I was stupid. Fett [thought] I was stupid. Craddossk [sic] found out that I [wasn't] stupid because I double-crossed him and I watched as Bossk tore out Craddossk's [sic] [throat]. Then Bossk ate him. There was blood everywhere. Bossk was right?it does take a lot to kill a [Trandoshan].

Meds making my hand [not] work [illegible] right. Dr. Karastee has me on a mild sedative. Soon I'll be [illegible] going for my shocks.

The other doctors examined me and determined the [placement] of the electrodes. The shock will go from one side of my head to the other.

I've been shocked before. The cages on the Slave I are charged. Fett shocked me when I tried to attack him [because] he destroyed 4-LOM.

I miss 4-LOM. He [wouldn't] allow this. But, Fett destroyed him. Fett [deserves] the shocks, not me! I [tried] to fix 4-LOM. 4-LOM is not the same. He left me.

I [illegible] had [ambitions] once. Where had they gone?

Meds making it hard to think. Next [week] they shock my [brain].


Doctor's note: One of the doctors that Zuckuss was referring to is an Arkanian gentleman named Dr. Neuchein, who is from another institution. During my residency at that institution, I was under the supervision of Dr. Neuchein, and he did have a tendency to talk down to a number of patients and even some of the staff. I learned to tolerate it, as Dr. Neuchein is one of the best in his field, but I can understand Zuckuss's aggravation.

The graphic imagery depicted in this entry may play a part in Zuckuss's condition, as only the Corellian was witness to it. To see a being savagely kill and devour another would certainly cause any individual to become traumatized. I will need to bring these incidences to light when I work with Zuckuss, to determine how he copes and to develop new coping skills for him.

Zuckuss's ECT treatment begins next week and he was likewise examined and prepped for it. I have assured him that we have taken steps to ensure his safety during the treatment, and his vital signs will be monitored during the course of it. He will be anesthetized for the treatment, and most adverse effects are usually due to the effects of general anesthesia. ?Dr. Gawynn Karastee

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The doc is right, it don't matter what you've experienced or what you know. Watching someone getting rent limb from limb and then devoured would put a little dose of the crazies into anyone.

Here's hoping the shocks help.

Yes hoping that the shocks will help him

He sure has experienced and seen horrible things

I've been shocked before. The cages on the Slave I are charged. Fett shocked me when I tried to attack him [because] he destroyed 4-LOM.

I miss 4-LOM. He [wouldn't] allow this. But, Fett destroyed him. Fett [deserves] the shocks, not me! I [tried] to fix 4-LOM. 4-LOM is not the same. He left me.

I wonder if that treatment is the right one for such a traumatized person.

The use of ECT for the treatment of major depression is actually very common, and many famous people have undergone it, including Carrie Fisher. It is not recommended as a first-line treatment for schizophrenia, however, but rather when drug therapies prove to be ineffective.

Shock therapy has a very checkered past, though, and it used to be given involuntarily, and without the current safeguards. In the past, patients would be shocked without anesthesia and without muscle relaxants, and the resulting convulsions were often powerful enough to snap vertebrae. Nowadays, patients are anesthetized and given muscle relaxants, which paralyzes the body, save for where a pressure cuff is placed, usually on the foot to prevent the drugs from reaching the toes. That is done to monitor the seizure, which manifests as toe-twitching.

Anywho, new entry:

[illegible] day, 28 ABY

Zuckuss's head hurts. His [mandibles] hurt. His [arms] and legs hurt. Dr. Karastee told him to write things down. [illegible] He feels as if he [were] kicked in the head.

Zuckuss is in the infirmary. He doesn't know why. There are other doctors here and Zuckuss doesn't know who they are. They said that Zuckuss got his first round of shocks today.

Zuckuss feels ill. He [illegible] had vomited [earlier]. His head hurts. His arms and legs hurt. He doesn't know what happened. They said that he had his first round of shocks today. They said that memory loss and [confusion] are normal and will [clear] up in due time.

His head hurts. He is tired. He doesn't know what happened. Dr. Karastee [illegible] showed Zuckuss a holo of the shocks. He doesn't remember it. He will ask to view it again. Zuckuss's head hurts. He feels ill. What happened to him?


Doctor's note: As was indicated, Zuckuss did indeed receive his first round of ECT today. The pain he experiences is a result of the shock and the muscle relaxant that he was given. The confusion and impaired memory is normal, and despite the nature of the entry, Zuckuss was quite lucid after the procedure and could comprehend what was being said to him. Tomorrow, he will have a brief psychological evaluation, and be given some puzzles to work on, prior to his next round of ECT the following day.

It is interesting to note that prior to his treatment, he was under the control of the Corellian, and afterward, the Uncanny One had become active. I will observe the transition over the course of his treatment. ?Dr. Gawynn Karastee

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He does not make a very healthy impression at present...



Anyway, thanks for explaining that treatment to us. I never knew it was good against depressions.

Poor guy.

Yes, poor Zuckuss!


My grandmother's cousin had to undergo shock therapy when she was young, way back when. It completely broke her.

Poor guy

And great explanations about the therapy

Combined a couple days worth of entries, and a pic!

[image=http://img850.imageshack.us/img850/5059/karasteezuckusstalk.jpg]

Second month, some day, 28 ABY

They shocked me again. Dr. Karastee then showed me a holo of the shocks. I still [don't] remember it. Dr. Karastee said that I did well. Did well? I hurt! I can't remember [illegible] what I ate today! And who are these other [illegible] doctors? Did well? I feel [sick]!

[illegible] I looked at a [previous] entry. I wasn't even [sure] where I was at then! How is this doing well?!

They said that the shocks would help me. [They're] doing more harm [than] good. I keep losing my train of thought.

4-LOM, if you're out there, if you remember me, I'm in Bedlam. Stop them before they destroy me. [Please].


Second month, whatever day, 28 ABY

Shocks again. Dr. Karastee said that I'll have three more rounds next week before they send me back to the [psych] unit. Why are they doing this? Will they let me go? If I allow them to shock me, will they let me go? Or will the shocks destroy me?

My head hurts. I can't remember how many shocks I [had]. My head [hurts]. This IV itches. Where are you, 4-LOM? I will find you. Stop them [before] they destroy me.

I [can't] think. I feel sick. My head hurts. If they shock me, will they let me go? Please let me go. No more [illegible] shocks. No more drugs. Just let me go. Please.


Doctor's note: As is evident, the Corellian is not very happy with the treatment thus far, and Zuckuss has expressed anger and frustration over the confusion and memory loss. I told him that as the treatment progresses, the side-effects should become less severe. He just needs to go through this course for the full therapeutic effect.

In cognitive testing, however, Zuckuss is doing rather well. The treatment has not impaired his functioning and while he has some difficulty with concentration, he is able to stay on task when redirected. When I told him that he "did well," I was referring to that he had no complications during the treatment. And directly after the treatment, he would be woken up briefly to assess his cognitive function, and when asked his name and to identify certain people and objects, he would have no trouble answering. However, Zuckuss doesn't remember that part, as most patients usually do not.

If this treatment helps to send his schizophrenia into remission, I intend to work with Zuckuss to begin speaking with the parole board and have him start attending competency hearings. My goal is to eventually have Zuckuss be released. I don't intend to keep him here forever; just until he can prove to be a functioning member of society, with the support of the behavioral health services. ?Dr. Gawynn Karastee

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Lets hope the treatment works so that it is worth it.

Zuckuss should be free one day and again love your artwork for the diary

This sounds like a terrible treatment. Poor guy.

If this treatment helps to send his schizophrenia into remission, I intend to work with Zuckuss to begin speaking with the parole board and have him start attending competency hearings. My goal is to eventually have Zuckuss be released. I don't intend to keep him here forever; just until he can prove to be a functioning member of society, with the support of the behavioral health services.

Well, I hope all will be fine for him one fine day, but some folk never make it.

Indeed, while most schizophrenics can live independently, there are those who cannot. And even those who can have their troubles. I know one who is currently having some problems, his voices have been particularly bad as of late. It's sad to see him slip away like that because he's a really nice guy.

Schizophrenia affects different people differently. Some you wouldn't ever be able to tell. Others, it's more severe. Though, through my own observations of people with the disorder in varying severity, it's certainly interesting. It's interesting to see how people cope, how they perceive the world, how they function, whether or not the symptoms are in remission or are well-controlled. The general public view of schizophrenia, fueled mostly by media coverage and embellishments in entertainment, is rather skewed. Most schizophrenics are not violent. Most live independently and are as indistinguishable from the average Joe on the street as you or me. Unless you asked, or knew what to look for, you would never know. It's the untreated cases, the extreme cases that get media exposure, it's those that shape the public perception.

Anywho, some more entries.


Second month, [illegible] day, 28 ABY

Zuckuss has lost [track ]of the days. According to Dr. Karastee, such [detriment] is common [illegible] to shock treatment. [illegible] She [said] that Zuckuss will recover his memory in due time.

Dr. Karastee also showed Zuckuss a [illegible] holorecording of the shocks. He actually remembered viewing it this time. It [isn't] so hazy [illegible] in his mind. He still has trouble with [illegible] most of the details, but he remembers seeing it. And he was actually shocked?as in the emotion.

It didn't look so bad. It didn't look so scary. The only thing Zuckuss remembers seeing was his left foot twitching. It didn't look so bad.

Zuckuss still doesn't like the [headaches] and pain and confusion. According to Dr. Karastee, Zuckuss was confused after his treatment, but it apparently [cleared] up.

He has to wonder... is this [illegible] helping him? Or is it [illegible] slowly destroying him?

Zuckuss misses 4-LOM...


Second month, don't know the day anymore, 28 ABY

Galactic [Love] Festival, or something. I only know [because] there was a pink cupcake with chow. No shocks today, have those [tomorrow].

I really don't know how to feel about these shocks anymore.

I had an attack today. Chest closed up, coughed and coughed and coughed. My throat is raw, my chest hurts, and I spent the evening [lightheaded]. I was given a breathing treatment and permitted to shower. One of the doctors asked if I have asthma. No, I just have bad lungs. They [illegible] [need] replaced. Again.

Was my surgery a farce? Did it do anything? I thought they fixed my lungs! I hoped that they fixed my lungs. For a while, it felt like that they fixed my lungs.

I still have attacks. My chest hurts from my last one. Did they lie to me?


Doctor's note: "They" that Zuckuss refers to in the second entry are the Alliance medical staff. When Zuckuss was processed and examined, his file said that he has a pre-existing chronic respiratory condition, though at the time of the exam, he did not disclose what exactly it was. The condition is still listed as "chronic bronchitis," so I will need to speak with him about clarifying that with the attending physician.

Since Zuckuss had viewed and retained the memory of the holorecording, his attitude toward his ECT has improved. He had seen what it entails, how he reacts during the treatment, and his fears and concerns have subsided. He still exhibits frustration with the side-effects and anger toward having to complete the treatment course (he views it as an inconvenience, now), but his symptoms have improved. His entries have shown markedly less derailment from pertinent topics.

After his treatment course, he will continue his drug therapy, though his dosages will be adjusted. Then/>/>/>

Poor Zuckuss, he never gets a break.

The guy sure could use someone close by to keep him company, I'm sure he gets enough abuse as it is.

Zuckuss' Prius (with cuss words!)

Poor poor Zuckuss!

Nice work sneaking the monthly challenge in (Love). I was wondering how you were going to put that in when the poor guy is in isolation.