Beyond "Wasting the Day in Bedlam" - Dear Diary Challenge 2012- Updated 10/16

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by TrakNar, Jan 2, 2012.

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  1. AzureAngel2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    A spooky journey that you brought us on, but a brilliant one. I hope that our tragic hero will win against his sickness.
  2. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    I sure hope he will get free once
  3. TrakNar Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 4, 2011
    star 5
    And the journey keeps on going! The road through sickness and to recovery is a long, winding one. Many a time, one will take two steps back in order to take one step forward. And one will also stray from the path, follow false leads, hit dead ends, and eventually come back to that road and begin again.

    And speaking of side trips...


    Second month, [illegible] day, 28 ABY

    Next week are my last round of shocks, then I go back to my old housing unit. I had shocks today. My head [hurts]. After I woke up, I went to [use] the refresher and fell. My right arm took the brunt of it. I fell because I was still somewhat sedated and still had the muscle relaxer. And I didn't wait for someone to help me. So, I fell.

    The attending checked me out and aside from a [sore] arm, I'm fine. Dr. Karastee told me to specify to the attending why I have breathing trouble at times, so I did.

    Still tired from shocks. They gave me some medicine earlier, [illegible] it's making me tired. Now, an orderly is standing by. Well, it's a guard. That new guard from my [unit] is here. He's here to make [sure] I don't fall again. They say that I'm a "fall risk."

    Meds making it hard to think. Why is the guard staring at me?


    [illegible] Second month, [illegible] day, 28 ABY

    The air in here is drying out my carapace, so I was given some lotion to put on it. My [carapace] [dries] out like [humanoid] skin, particularly in the winter. If I don't keep it [illegible] [moisturized], it loses some of its [illegible] give and gets brittle, especially around the joints. So, I put lotion on it. That [usually] helps.

    It also makes my hands greasy.

    That guard was watching me put on the lotion. Has he never seen a [Gand] before? Why does he stare at me? At least I didn't have to ask [him] for help to the refresher, as I didn't get shocks today. He doesn't [illegible] talk to me. Usually guards will talk to me, but this one doesn't. I have better conversations with the Uncanny One!

    This [lotion] makes my carapace tingle. I like it.


    Doctor's note: I will need to speak with the guard on duty and request that he act a bit more personable toward Zuckuss, in order to avoid feeding his delusions. This is a common behavior for new guards, however; extreme vigilance, silence, and an overall sentinel demeanor. The new staff members take the inmates' records at face value, and while it is good to not become complacent with the inmates, a better rapport can be established if the guards treat the inmates as sentient beings.

    Zuckuss hadn't fallen during his prior treatments, as there was usually an attending around to help him to the refresher. This time, however, he had woken up earlier than he usually does, and attempted to go to the refresher himself, while unfamiliar with the effects of the anesthesia and muscle relaxants. He didn't hurt himself, aside from some stress to his arm, but now I make sure that there is a guard present, in case Zuckuss requires any assistance. I explained to him that this is due to liability and insurance, and we need to ensure his safety, but he apparently did not recall that discussion. ?Dr. Gawynn Karastee


    />/>/>
  4. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Zuckuss is getting better? He reacts different to the shocks.

    Nice to see the comments from the doctor
  5. Hazel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    Nice to see Zuckuss doing a little better.
  6. Goodwood Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 11, 2011
    star 4
    This is a fascinating look into the methodologies of such treatments. Very realistic indeed.

    Keep up the good work!
  7. AzureAngel2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    *is back from her winter holidays, but still with her parents who luckily have internet*

    Your updates always make me thoughtful about mental treatment. Also about the guards treating patients, not only the doctors.

    I will need to speak with the guard on duty and request that he act a bit more personable toward Zuckuss, in order to avoid feeding his delusions. This is a common behavior for new guards, however; extreme vigilance, silence, and an overall sentinel demeanor. The new staff members take the inmates' records at face value, and while it is good to not become complacent with the inmates, a better rapport can be established if the guards treat the inmates as sentient beings.

    I fear with the majority of Europe getting older and older and less young people being around social services and medical services will go down on their knees at one point.

    From friends of mine who work in that field I already hear bad stories.

    Even though your fanfic plays in the SW universe, it reminds me of things that can go wrong in our own society.
  8. TrakNar Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 4, 2011
    star 5
    Indeed, the mental health services do need some work, even here in the US. Within the passed ten years or so, there have been widespread closures of state hospitals. I remember when the state hospital in Harrisburg closed, turning its patients out onto the streets, or shipped to other hospitals. There are still state hospitals around, but they're not as widespread, many are privately owned, and psychiatric wards now are focused on short-term stays. And even those short-term stays can get expensive, as insurance will often times not cover the entire stay.

    Since the hospital closures in not only my state but others, many of the mentally ill, if they cannot get into a supportive program, they end up homeless. Prisons have seen an influx of the mentally ill because many communities simply cannot send the people anywhere else. It's a sad state, really.

    The mental health system of the GFFA hasn't been very widely explored, so I've been doing that. From what I've seen, the mentally ill are sent to prisons, penal colonies, etc. Some more archaic treatments, such as psychosurgery or an older method of ECT, are still in widespread use. So, one has to wonder... what exactly does the GFFA do with the mentally ill? Many are homeless, many are institutionalized in various penal systems, and who knows what happened to the Valorum Center (a state hospital) after the Clone Wars.

    With all the splendor of the galaxy, with all of Coruscant's polished surfaces, with all of the technology and advancements available, there is still plenty of room for improvement. And the most overlooked thing, as was touched upon in TCW's "Pursuit of Peace" episode is social welfare. The focus is on war, on strife, on maintaining an image, and society's unfortunate fall through the cracks.

    EDIT: On an unrelated note, if I were to make a playlist for the whole Bedlam series, it would be mostly Pink Floyd, if not entirely Pink Floyd. Particularly Brain Damage as the title track.
  9. TrakNar Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 4, 2011
    star 5
    Had five entries written up, omitted one of them for the final draft (I'll reword and reuse it for something else later). Been busy this week, forgot to conclude this month's storyline.

    [illegible] day, 28 ABY

    Zuckuss has his last round of shocks this week. He was to have a course of [six], but it was decided when he was examined and evaluated that he would have [nine]. Zuckuss isn't sure how to feel [about] them anymore. The memory loss still aggrivates [sic] him, though, but he will manage.

    Though, one good thing about the shocks?he was taken off of his medication. At least for now.

    Zuckuss also meditated today. He felt something different in the mists this time, something he has not felt since he came to Bedlam...

    He feels CONNECTED.

    [illegible] That meditation made him happy.


    Second month, [illegible] day, 28 ABY

    Mail call, today. I got a letter! Cami Sookanado wrote to me. She said that she got some information from the community college about their psychology programs and she might take her classes there. She also commented on my shocks. I don't quite remember what I wrote to her, but I must have said something about the shocks. She told me to stay strong and she wants me to write back as soon as I am able, as the shocks have her [worried].

    I don't know how to feel about the shocks anymore, really. They don't scare me anymore. I guess I am a bit [illegible] [numb].

    I have shocks tomorrow. I hope I don't fall like I did last week. That guard is to help me to the [refresher] after I wake up. Can't recall his name. Mandak. That's right. Mandak doesn't talk to me. He mostly stares at me. I've seen guards do that, but the way he does it...

    [illegible] Getting tired. I hope Mandak doesn't intend to stare at me while I sleep. That would be creepy.


    Second month, [illegible] day, 28 ABY

    Zuckuss had an [illegible] epiphany.

    He thought back, how he kept the Mist Hunter. He was [illegible] organized. He was clean, he had order and routine and [illegible] constant. He looks at how things are now. He covers mirrored surfaces, he writes notations, he has clutter. He doesn't have order.

    Zuckuss realized it.

    He is sick. He is very sick. He has fallen so far.

    Today, after his shocks, Zuckuss went to the bathroom and he did something that he has not done in a while; he looked in the mirror.

    That was when Zuckuss had his epiphany.


    Second month, [illegible] day, 28 ABY

    Zuckuss had a disturbing thought right now as he eats his meal...

    If the shocks do not prove to be effective, what will they do to him, next?

    Lobotomy?

    Zuckuss hopes that the shocks work...


    Doctor's note: This week, Zuckuss had completed his course of ECT and will be returned to his housing unit. He will continue drug therapy and counseling under my supervision, and he will be observed closely, as due to the co-morbidity of his disorders, his probability of relapse is between 60 and 70 % after the first six months. Therefore, as with other ECT treatments, Zuckuss will be given a "maintenance" treatment on a monthly basis to prevent relapse.

    However, his results look promising, judging by his entry on meditation. While on drug therapy, Zuckuss complained constantly about how the drugs hindered his meditations. He has also displayed an overall better mood. The effects on his memory and cognition are minimal, as his memory is somewhat spotty in regards to certain days surrounding his treatments, but in cognitive testing, he has scored satisfactorily.

    Zuckuss needn't worry about a lobotomy as for one; we don't perform those here, and two; that would only be remotely considered in a very extreme case and under a very specific set of circumstances. Zuckuss is a high-functioning individual, he has suffered some setbacks and a relapse of his symptoms, but he can and will be treated and he needn't worry about a lobotomy.

    It seems that I will need to speak with the guar/>/>/>/>/>
  10. Hazel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    Things are looking up! ;D
  11. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Great to see him meditating again and Dr Karastee is always very insightful
  12. AzureAngel2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    The mental health system of the GFFA hasn't been very widely explored, so I've been doing that. From what I've seen, the mentally ill are sent to prisons, penal colonies, etc. Some more archaic treatments, such as psychosurgery or an older method of ECT, are still in widespread use. So, one has to wonder... what exactly does the GFFA do with the mentally ill? Many are homeless, many are institutionalized in various penal systems, and who knows what happened to the Valorum Center (a state hospital) after the Clone Wars.

    With all the splendor of the galaxy, with all of Coruscant's polished surfaces, with all of the technology and advancements available, there is still plenty of room for improvement. And the most overlooked thing, as was touched upon in TCW's "Pursuit of Peace" episode is social welfare. The focus is on war, on strife, on maintaining an image, and society's unfortunate fall through the cracks.

    EDIT: On an unrelated note, if I were to make a playlist for the whole Bedlam series, it would be mostly Pink Floyd, if not entirely Pink Floyd. Particularly Brain Damage as the title track.


    Pink Floyd, that is certainly interesting. I suspected some heavy metal songs from Metallica or such. :D But nothing wrong with Pink Floyd. I only thought about them last night, when my mother and my husband repaired our sofa together. There was this weird hammer, which made me think about the movie... and a certain song about education.

    Also, thanks for being so thoughtful about the health care in the SW universe.

    (By the way, today I read some disturbing Dutch newspaper article about tent camps in the US of people who turned unemployed in the US and suddenly homeless. They described a tent camp near NY in some wood.)

    Now back to your update. This guard that Zuckuss has seems to have a personal issue with him or he might get paid frightening him...



  13. Jedi_Lover Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2004
    star 5
    I'm glad he is feeling better and is not going to get lobotomized. Every time I see that word I think of Hannibal Lector. [Shudder] Maybe that guard is just the strong silent type...hopefully.
  14. Goodwood Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 11, 2011
    star 4
    I wouldn't be so ready to claim victory in the battle for Zuckuss's sanity yet. For any patient that has long suffered from such illnesses, the road to recovery can often be quite rocky and downright slippery. Imagine walking a tightrope that's been knotted a few times and is slightly wet in places, and you'll have a pretty good idea of the path that our favorite Gand faces.

    In other words, don't get Comfortably Numb.
  15. TrakNar Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 4, 2011
    star 5
    Indeed, Zuckuss has a long road ahead of him. If anything, he's been given a head (jump)start and a new map to follow. But even for real-world patients of ECT, it is not a cure-all easy fix. There is a high probability of relapse and people often go through maintenance treatments in order to maintain their moods. And while extended ECT treatments over long periods of time have impacts on memory, for many, the shocks are the only thing that works. There are people who look forward to their monthly treatment, as they know that for them, it brings a relief of symptoms that have otherwise proved to be resistant to other forms of therapy.

    At the moment, Zuckuss's prognosis looks good. But, the brain is a tricky and deceitful beast. Just when one thinks they have it all figured out, the brain has a knack for bringing a whole new set of eccentricities to light and rewriting the diagnostic criteria.

    Food for thought: Currently being debated for the latest release of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5); schizoid personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder are being dropped from the manual. Psychoanalysts claim that they are normal aspects of behavior in a modernized society, and thus the symptomology no longer need to be labeled as an illness. Thus, it is normal to be a withdrawn loner with absolutely no interest whatsoever of maintaining any form of social contact with anyone outside of one's immediate family, and it is normal to laud oneself as the greatest being in the galaxy, with little care to others.

    At least it will be when the DSM-5 is released.
  16. TrakNar Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 4, 2011
    star 5
    Finally wrangled Darth Real Life enough to write up a new entry.

    Third month, [illegible] day, 28 ABY

    Dr. Karastee decided that I should learn a trade. However, I'd need to speak with the parole board first, as my housing unit doesn't allow me to do so, aside from my janitorial work detail. They would also wait to see how I do since I've had my shocks. In the [illegible] meantime, Dr. Karastee cleared it with the board and it was decided that I would be permitted to at least participate in one of the charity programs. At a scheduled time, I would be permitted in the [workshop] to weave blankets for a community outreach program. Dr. Karastee and the parole board agreed to allow it to count toward my community service.

    The weather has been quite brisk as of late and I'm not sure why. Granted, the WeatherNet is usually a bit lax around the prison district, but this seems different.

    It seems normal and [unpredictable]. As weather should be. None of this fake manufactured comfort. I've never really like that about the [weather] on Coruscant; it was forced to conform to some lofty ideal.

    Anyway, I [illegible] had an [attack], so I'm going to ask Mandak if I can use the shower to open up my lungs, or at the very least get something for the cough. [Mandak] isn't [illegible] quite as [unnerving] as [illegible] he was, but he is still way too [quiet]. He makes me nervous. He [illegible] talks to the other guards, but the way he tends to loiter around my cell just isn't right...


    Doctor's note: As was said, I had spoken to Zuckuss about possibly learning a trade. However, inmates who enter the trade programs are usually housed in the honor dorms, and with the higher security around Zuckuss, he cannot be placed in such a dorm for fear of inmate retaliation. I will see if an exception can be made, but the acting warden has unfortunately expressed dislike to previous exceptions concerning Zuckuss's incarceration.

    If Zuckuss does well with the community outreach program, it may sway the parole board a bit more when I bring up the possibility of him participating in the trade programs again. I also intend to look into the mentoring programs, though any possible candidate would need to be screened, as would Zuckuss's inmate advocates when the time comes for him to begin his hearings.

    The acting warden has expressed his discontent with my working with Zuckuss. I may need to reschedule Zuckuss's therapy appointments differently, as the warden claims that I am "spending too much time with him." I, personally, find the notion to be absurd. Zuckuss is a complicated case, and cases such as his usually require extra attention. ?Dr. Gawynn Karastee

    />/>
  17. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Nice to see the help dr Karastee is giving him.

    But his worries about the guard[face_worried]
  18. AzureAngel2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    Still that guard being unnerving.

    But good to know that the professional interest of the doctor for his case is high.
  19. Hazel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    Great to see Zuckuss interested about learning a trade. But that guard... [face_worried]
  20. Goodwood Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 11, 2011
    star 4
    Another interesting insight into the mental health system, be it within the GFFA or "real life."

    Any of us who has spent time "in the system" has probably met their own Mandak, or else someone similar, so it'll be interesting to see how that angle plays out. Keep uncovering that story, Trak!
  21. TrakNar Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 4, 2011
    star 5
    Uncovered a bit more today.


    Third month, 10th day, 28 ABY

    I was cooking something I had bought from the commissary (we have a nanowave that we can use) and it [illegible] burned a bit and set off the [smoke] detectors. Mandak, who was on duty, handled it and told me rather sternly that I be more careful, else I lose the nanowave [privelage] [sic].

    It was an accident! Inmates burn food often and they don't lose their nanowave [privelages] [sic]! I [illegible] considered explaining this to Mandak, but deemed it pointless to try. Next time I want to [illegible] cook something, I'll wait until Kubisiak is on duty. He isn't as strict.

    I haven't seen Kubisiak lately. Mandak took his shift and Dek'rd and Makibbin work the unit. Perhaps Kubisiak [transferred] to another unit. I should ask.


    Third month, 12th day, 28 ABY

    It was warm outside, so [illegible] Dek'rd asked if I'd like to take rec on the yard today. So, I accompanied Dek'rd, [Makibbin], and Mandak out on the yard. Rather [than] just walk the track, I played two-on-two [netball] with the guards, [illegible] Dek'rd on my team. It was a close game. Though, Mandak [had] fouled me.

    No one really said anything about the foul. It was an accident anyway; Mandak is [considerably] taller than me. It doesn't take much to knock me off my feet.


    Third month, 13th day, 28 ABY

    Earlier last night, Zuckuss [illegible] had meditated and recieved [sic] intuitive [illegible] knowledge. This afternoon, he took rec out on the yard. He [led] the guards to a corner of the yard, where Zuckuss found three marbles. He told the guards to dig there and they will find a cache of weapons. Dek'rd and Mandak ushered Zuckuss to the door and [illegible] Makibbin called the SRT.* Zuckuss watched from the doorway and the SRT found twelve shanks!

    Dek'rd asked Zuckuss where he got his information and Zuckuss explained that he saw it in the mists. Mandak asked if Zuckuss [knew] who put the shivs there, and additional information [regarding] the hidden cache, and Zuckuss said that regretfully he was not privy to such things as of yet, but he offered to look to the mists for more.

    Zuckuss asked Dek'rd if he could keep the three marbles he had found, as a physical reminder of the [parts] of himself that he has only [illegible] recently managed to [rediscover]. Dek'rd said that he needs to catalog the marbles as evidence of the weapons cache, but he will see what he can do about getting them back to Zuckuss.

    Dek'rd is a likable guard. He understands that Zuckuss's [illegible] incarceration is due to him being a victim of circumstance. [Whereas] Mandak [illegible] posited the ridiculous notion that Zuckuss had anything to do with the weapons cache! Dek'rd discounted that notion and [illegible] told Mandak that [illegible] he will speak to the warden about using Zuckuss's abilities to further aid the prison as this find may have prevented an inmate riot!

    Zuckuss may once again be a findsman. A findsman behind bars.


    Doctor's note: SRT refers to the Special Response Team, a unit of corrections officers charged with quelling inmate riots and conducting raids on the cell blocks. These guards usually handle the contraband searches.

    The very possibility of using Zuckuss as an inmate informant would put him in considerable danger within the population, so I will make sure that if such a consideration is made, that more steps are taken to ensure his safety. But, to put Zuckuss back to work would certainly help aid his recovery, as he will have his routines. Zuckuss has expressed discontent with being "taken away" from his career, but if permitted to become an inmate informant, that should help to ease his mood. However, he would also need to take more care in what he discloses in his journals, as if any of his items were stolen, or if any of the other inmates found out about his position, his life would be in danger. Too many times hav/>/>/>/>
  22. Jedi_Lover Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2004
    star 5
    He is very lucky that the weapons were not pinned on him.
  23. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    nice update

    nanowave and fire:D causes many of the alerts in real life too
  24. AzureAngel2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    The very possibility of using Zuckuss as an inmate informant would put him in considerable danger within the population.


    I worry for his safety, too.

    [face_worried]

    *is somehow remembered of the last HOUSE episode*
  25. Hazel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    I'm glad to see Zuckuss improve further but I hope he doesn't get in trouble.
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