Saga Watching the Rainfall- TPM- Obi-Wan & Qui-Gon- One-shot- Drama

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by CelseteAntola, Jul 22, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. CelseteAntola TF.N Books Staff

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 18, 2002
    star 3
    Author's Note: Thanks for stopping by and reading! This is the first Saga piece I've done in a long time, so please feel free to send along some constructive criticism! I hope you enjoy!!


    Title: Watching the Rainfall
    Author: CelesteAntola
    Timeframe: The Phantom Menace
    Genre: Drama
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi
    Summary: Qui-Gon's spirit watches over a greiving Obi-Wan.
    Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or any characters.



    A somber quietude reigned over the city of Theed, as it was wrapped in the embrace of the growing twilight. Heavy rains had inundated the capital of Naboo, bringing with them a cloying humidity and dark clouds that obscured the sun.

    A pair of palace guards trudged quietly through the sodden streets, their eyes trying to penetrate the cascading rain as they went on their rounds. To many living in the metropolis, the rain was welcome, being seen as a symbol of healing and cleansing, especially after the chaotic events of the past weeks. The invading Trade Federation armies had been repulsed, but at great cost to the Nubians, who longed to move on and return to their tranquil way of life.

    A sudden gust of wind buffeted the patrolling guards and they both tugged at their overcoats, trying to protect themselves from the driving rain that fell noisily all about them.

    Unseen eyes watched the guards' futile attempts to stay dry before returning to their previous object of study.

    The warm glow of light spilled out of a pair of windows into a small courtyard, penetrating the enveloping gloom for a few meters before being swallowed by the darkness. It was not to this cheery warmth that the observing eyes returned. Rather, they were focused on a set of darkened transparisteel panels across the way.

    If he had been able, the observer would have sat on the dripping window sill and peered into the room beyond. The thought was unimportant, since he could no longer sit. In fact he didn't even need to sit, rest being unnecessary to him now.

    Death had brought Qui-Gon Jinn above such mortal needs.

    Death.

    It was so similar and yet so different from what Qui-Gon had expected it to be. It did not hurt when his soul had finally slipped from his body, pulling him out of himself to become one with the Force. Joining with the Force had been a warm and practically euphoric experience, the ebb and flow of it's embracing power swirling around him and making him complete.

    What joy he had experienced when his years of diligent study and self-immolation were rewarded with the very goal he had been working towards. In the great stream of energy known as the Force, Qui-Gon Jinn stood still, as if he were a small island in the midst of an ever changing sea. With this stillness, he could observe the eddying currents rather than being swept along with them. He could look on as the galaxy moved forward in time, see the ripples that the actions of a single person could create in the river of life.

    Qui-Gon Jinn could see that there was going to be a tempest in the near future, an upheaval in the Force that would cause reverberations for generations to come. But the soul of the deceased Jedi Master did not try to penetrate the depths of this great disturbance.

    Instead, his focus was solely fixated upon the pair of unlit windows in the saturated courtyard. The howling winds and the rain descending from the darkened skies did not affect him as he pressed his spirit towards those windows. What was beyond the transparent panels was far too important to Qui-Gon to waste time worrying about the raging elements.

    For, even in the all-encompassing energy of the Force, Qui-Gon Jinn had still felt pain.

    The sight of Obi-Wan weeping over his discarded, broken body had filled his essence with such grief. Not because he selfishly wished to still be alive, but because he wished he could ease his Padawan's pain. Obi-Wan Kenobi's heartache bled into the Force, even more poignant to Qui-Gon as it's tendrils brushed against him. The anguish consum
  2. darth_treyvah Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 26, 2005
    star 3
    That was excellent. You describe the Ascension of the Whills very well, and that companionable silence between Qui-Gon's spirit and Obi-Wan's anguished self on one rain-filled night is nothing short of numinous. Tales of moonlight and rain indeed. Thank you for posting this.
  3. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5

    He stayed with Obi-Wan for a long while, the shadows deepening into complete darkness, the rain their only companion.



    I had planned to remark on some other wonderful passages - until your final sentence. Hauntingly perfect. Wonderful, wonderful job. =D=
  4. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Such a wonderful story.

    You wrote it very well.

    =D=
  5. GeneralKenobi7 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2009
    star 4
    Beautifully written!=D=
    But so sad...:_|
  6. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
  7. Kerensa Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 21, 2004
    Very poignant...great job capturing the emotion without overdoing it. :)
  8. CelseteAntola TF.N Books Staff

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 18, 2002
    star 3






    ~Celeste

  9. dimyavie Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 3, 2006
    star 1
    An excellent fic! Poor Obi-Wan, having to deal with Qui's untimely death. I love that Qui watched over Obi, and his decision to learn to talk to others through the Force because of Obi's pain was beautifully written! Thanks for writing! :)
  10. Knight_Aragorn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 15, 2003
    star 4
    This is a great premise -- that concept of Qui-Gon's immediate reaction, adjusting to his new existence. The disembodied POV at the start sets the scene very nicely. And I do like that Qui-Gon stayed with Obi-Wan.

    Great work. :D
  11. CelseteAntola TF.N Books Staff

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 18, 2002
    star 3



    ~Celeste
  12. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 6
    Your details of the externals and internals of the scene are breath taking and vivid. It puts me right in the middle of it all. A warm, sensitive read.

    =D=

  13. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    excellent great writing and telling of the deep bond that was between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan

    =D==D==D=
  14. CelseteAntola TF.N Books Staff

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 18, 2002
    star 3

  15. master_lenai Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Aug 22, 2009
    Qui-Gon was amazed by the breathtaking sight that was Obi-Wan's essence. There was a brightness and vitality that was almost blinding in it's fair purity, his soul seeming to be every color and yet with no color all at once. Kaleidoscopic was the only way that the deceased Master describe it's scintillating beauty.


    oh my gosh, this is so good! it perfectly captures obi-wan!

    He stayed with Obi-Wan for a long while, the shadows deepening into complete darkness, the rain their only companion.


    and this line is pure magic. great job, celseteantola!!
    =D= =D= =D=




Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.