1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

  2. Hey Fanficers! In fixing the prefixes something happened and now you can't edit titles. Don't panic! We're looking into what happened and trying to fix it.

Saga Watching the Rainfall- TPM- Obi-Wan & Qui-Gon- One-shot- Drama

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by CelseteAntola, Jul 22, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. CelseteAntola

    CelseteAntola TF.N Books Staff star 3 VIP

    May 18, 2002
    Author's Note: Thanks for stopping by and reading! This is the first Saga piece I've done in a long time, so please feel free to send along some constructive criticism! I hope you enjoy!!

    Title: Watching the Rainfall
    Author: CelesteAntola
    Timeframe: The Phantom Menace
    Genre: Drama
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi
    Summary: Qui-Gon's spirit watches over a greiving Obi-Wan.
    Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or any characters.

    A somber quietude reigned over the city of Theed, as it was wrapped in the embrace of the growing twilight. Heavy rains had inundated the capital of Naboo, bringing with them a cloying humidity and dark clouds that obscured the sun.

    A pair of palace guards trudged quietly through the sodden streets, their eyes trying to penetrate the cascading rain as they went on their rounds. To many living in the metropolis, the rain was welcome, being seen as a symbol of healing and cleansing, especially after the chaotic events of the past weeks. The invading Trade Federation armies had been repulsed, but at great cost to the Nubians, who longed to move on and return to their tranquil way of life.

    A sudden gust of wind buffeted the patrolling guards and they both tugged at their overcoats, trying to protect themselves from the driving rain that fell noisily all about them.

    Unseen eyes watched the guards' futile attempts to stay dry before returning to their previous object of study.

    The warm glow of light spilled out of a pair of windows into a small courtyard, penetrating the enveloping gloom for a few meters before being swallowed by the darkness. It was not to this cheery warmth that the observing eyes returned. Rather, they were focused on a set of darkened transparisteel panels across the way.

    If he had been able, the observer would have sat on the dripping window sill and peered into the room beyond. The thought was unimportant, since he could no longer sit. In fact he didn't even need to sit, rest being unnecessary to him now.

    Death had brought Qui-Gon Jinn above such mortal needs.


    It was so similar and yet so different from what Qui-Gon had expected it to be. It did not hurt when his soul had finally slipped from his body, pulling him out of himself to become one with the Force. Joining with the Force had been a warm and practically euphoric experience, the ebb and flow of it's embracing power swirling around him and making him complete.

    What joy he had experienced when his years of diligent study and self-immolation were rewarded with the very goal he had been working towards. In the great stream of energy known as the Force, Qui-Gon Jinn stood still, as if he were a small island in the midst of an ever changing sea. With this stillness, he could observe the eddying currents rather than being swept along with them. He could look on as the galaxy moved forward in time, see the ripples that the actions of a single person could create in the river of life.

    Qui-Gon Jinn could see that there was going to be a tempest in the near future, an upheaval in the Force that would cause reverberations for generations to come. But the soul of the deceased Jedi Master did not try to penetrate the depths of this great disturbance.

    Instead, his focus was solely fixated upon the pair of unlit windows in the saturated courtyard. The howling winds and the rain descending from the darkened skies did not affect him as he pressed his spirit towards those windows. What was beyond the transparent panels was far too important to Qui-Gon to waste time worrying about the raging elements.

    For, even in the all-encompassing energy of the Force, Qui-Gon Jinn had still felt pain.

    The sight of Obi-Wan weeping over his discarded, broken body had filled his essence with such grief. Not because he selfishly wished to still be alive, but because he wished he could ease his Padawan's pain. Obi-Wan Kenobi's heartache bled into the Force, even more poignant to Qui-Gon as it's tendrils brushed against him. The anguish consum
  2. darth_treyvah

    darth_treyvah Jedi Master star 3

    Dec 26, 2005
    That was excellent. You describe the Ascension of the Whills very well, and that companionable silence between Qui-Gon's spirit and Obi-Wan's anguished self on one rain-filled night is nothing short of numinous. Tales of moonlight and rain indeed. Thank you for posting this.
  3. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Sep 16, 2005

    [blockquote]He stayed with Obi-Wan for a long while, the shadows deepening into complete darkness, the rain their only companion.[/blockquote]

    I had planned to remark on some other wonderful passages - until your final sentence. Hauntingly perfect. Wonderful, wonderful job. =D=
  4. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 27, 2004
    Such a wonderful story.

    You wrote it very well.

  5. GeneralKenobi7

    GeneralKenobi7 Jedi Knight star 4

    Jan 18, 2009
    Beautifully written!=D=
    But so sad...:_|
  6. ratna

    ratna Jedi Knight star 4

    Mar 1, 2007
  7. Kerensa

    Kerensa Jedi Youngling

    Jan 21, 2004
    Very poignant...great job capturing the emotion without overdoing it. :)
  8. CelseteAntola

    CelseteAntola TF.N Books Staff star 3 VIP

    May 18, 2002


  9. dimyavie

    dimyavie Jedi Master star 1

    May 3, 2006
    An excellent fic! Poor Obi-Wan, having to deal with Qui's untimely death. I love that Qui watched over Obi, and his decision to learn to talk to others through the Force because of Obi's pain was beautifully written! Thanks for writing! :)
  10. Knight_Aragorn

    Knight_Aragorn Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 15, 2003
    This is a great premise -- that concept of Qui-Gon's immediate reaction, adjusting to his new existence. The disembodied POV at the start sets the scene very nicely. And I do like that Qui-Gon stayed with Obi-Wan.

    Great work. :D
  11. CelseteAntola

    CelseteAntola TF.N Books Staff star 3 VIP

    May 18, 2002

  12. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 7

    Aug 31, 2004
    Your details of the externals and internals of the scene are breath taking and vivid. It puts me right in the middle of it all. A warm, sensitive read.


  13. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    excellent great writing and telling of the deep bond that was between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan

  14. CelseteAntola

    CelseteAntola TF.N Books Staff star 3 VIP

    May 18, 2002

  15. master_lenai

    master_lenai Jedi Youngling

    Aug 22, 2009
    [blockquote]Qui-Gon was amazed by the breathtaking sight that was Obi-Wan's essence. There was a brightness and vitality that was almost blinding in it's fair purity, his soul seeming to be every color and yet with no color all at once. Kaleidoscopic was the only way that the deceased Master describe it's scintillating beauty. [/blockquote]

    oh my gosh, this is so good! it perfectly captures obi-wan!

    [blockquote]He stayed with Obi-Wan for a long while, the shadows deepening into complete darkness, the rain their only companion.[/blockquote]

    and this line is pure magic. great job, celseteantola!!
    =D= =D= =D=

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.