Beyond - Legends Waterlily - A Christmas 'Fic Gift for Idrelle_Miocovani (Jaina, Kyp, Jacen, Post-LOTF AU)

Title: Waterlily
Author: Jedi-Ant
Timeframe: Post-LOTF Era AU
Genre: Dark, Angsty One-Shot
Characters: Jaina Solo, Kyp Durron, Jacen Solo
Summary: An introspective look at a broken Jaina Solo after the death of her brother, Jacen
Status: Complete
Notes: This is a Christmas 'Fic Gift for the divine Idrelle_Miocovani

Idri... Thank you so much for all your tireless work beta-ing my punctuation-happy pieces, for your wonderful advice and addictive, bubbly nature. You are such an amazing young lady, and I'm so glad to have met you.

I'm still working on that Twilight review, but hopefully this K/J piece will do for now It's not quite what I originally planned it to be, but I hope you enjoy it all the same.

WATERLILY

[image=http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s318/iamtheant/waterlilywhite.jpg]

To die would be an awfully big adventure. - Peter Pan.



As the water seeped its way into my lungs, I couldn?t decide whether or not my death would be a good thing.

There was a time, not so long ago, when there would have been no competition.

I was a murderer. I?d killed my twin brother with my bare hands, and my other brother had fallen because of my influence, however indirectly it seemed.

Zekk was gone, too; lost to his own insanity, that was ultimately sculptured by my pernicious ways.

I knew I was too dangerous to be kept alive.

I was poison. I killed everything that I touched. It was only natural that I should want to see my end met, before I was given another opportunity to hurt someone else I?d once loved.

The only problem was that now ? now that my death was a certainty ? I wasn?t so sure I wanted things to end this way.

Did I want to die like my brother: a monster, a murderer, forever with the stain of blood on my hands?

I honestly didn?t know.

But now, as I sank ever further below the surface of the murky water, it didn?t really matter.

It wasn?t like I had much of a choice.

The icy grip of death clamped down over my heart like a vice, and I closed my eyes against the inevitable, my last thoughts swirling around in my mind like a twisted mantra.

Too dangerous. To be kept.

Alive.


*~*~*~*~*~*


?Jaina.?

His voice was like a spike being plunged straight into my heart.

?My father wants to see you.?

Of all the people my brother had betrayed in his time as a Dark Lord, my cousin would definitely be in the running to take the title of the one he?d hurt the most.

Not only had Caedus ? Jacen ? taken Ben?s mother away from him, he?d also taken away his innocence.

Neither one of those was ever coming back. I still didn?t know which was worse.

?I?ll be right there,? I told him, and as an afterthought, added, ?Thank you.?

Ben?s eyes held a steeliness that shouldn?t be known by someone at the tender age of fifteen, and even when he had his mother?s trademark sarcasm on display, there was an air of rigidness about him that I doubt he?d ever fully discard.

?Don?t thank me yet,? he said, and flashed me the smallest of smirks.

There was no fanfare when I entered my uncle?s office, though I don?t know what I?d expected.

It wasn?t as if I was required to be here any longer. I?d given up that right the day I?d handed in my lightsaber.

I was a free woman now. A civilian. The rest was just a formality.

?Please, sit,? my uncle instructed.

I sat, out of necessity more than any form of residual habit.

I needed this meeting to go smoothly, this final chapter in my life?s story. I needed it to end on a pleasant note.

The moment my uncle pushed the pieces of my deactivated blade across his desk, I knew that smooth and pleasant were too much for a murderer to ask for.

?No,? I whispered, standing up so suddenly that my chair clattered to the floor behind me.

?Jaina??

?No!? I said again, louder this time. ?I told you to destroy it! Why didn?t you destroy it??

Luke g

 

Oh wow.

I'm stunned. Speachless.

Holy crap, this was good!



I'd use more colorful words but I'd get banned.

 

Wow. I completely agree with everything Ceillean said.

A pinkish glow appeared on the horizon, the pale light mingling with the black of night like water on a cotton cloth.

Dawn was approaching.

A new dawn.

Soon, I would be able to see my freedom as well as taste it.

I was alive. And it mattered.

That was my favorite passage out of an incredible fic.

 

Nice, very nice, I like it. Jaina feeling guilty about killing Jacen is something that should be made canon, I hope in FOTJ she is shown feeling like this, because otherwise it makes her look heartless. Very well done, and I like the fact that Kyp was the only one who could save her, I like Kyp and Jaina together. Well done.

 

Well, when I asked for a K/J present, I certainly wasn?t expecting something like this! You totally through me a curveball there (even though I had a sneak peak at one of the fragments ) and it went above and beyond anything I could have expected. Thank you so much! You are truly a very talented, gifted writer and this is one of my favourite Christmas presents ever.

There?s so many things to comment on? agh, it?s just too good!

I really love the first person point on view. Someone been reading a lot of Stephenie Meyer lately, eh? Kidding! It really delves into Jaina?s character and I love the depth we get from her ? the sadness and the grief and the guilt that makes us pity her so much for what she had to do. You really captured what it must have felt for her to kill her brother ? even in full knowledge of what Jacen had done and what he was capable of doing. It would make her totally heartless and defy her established character if any post-LotF canon ? and even fanfic ? stories refuses to acknowledge that. She?s been torn apart by what she had to do.

I love the imagery with the water and because of that, I am totally in love with the title. You did tell me that you didn?t want to spoil the title for me, didn?t you? Well, thank you very much for not telling me. It was a great surprise ? I love symbolism.

The fragmented style works wonders, especially with the first person. Little snippets from the most important moments after she killed Jacen ? almost as if she?s looking back into her memory and these are the memories that surface. Ha! More water stuff there ( do dodo dodooo).

I really need to stop studying Dramatic Lit. right now, it?s affecting my normal speech. And I?m on holiday.

I love how Kyp is there for her in the end. I love how he points out that he lost his brother at his own hands, too. Great parallel between them. I think he?s one of the characters that has the greatest chance of understanding Jaina in her time of grief and loss and you protrayed that beautifully.

Very incredible fic. I think Ceillean summed it up best ? ?Holy crap, that was good!? Thank you again for this marvellous present!

You?re welcome, hon. Hey, betaing is fun, after all, especially your work. Addictive bubbly nature, eh? I swear it?s the drama student in me.

Hey, well, sometimes the best fics turn out that way.

Again, I loved it! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

P.S. The Peter Pan quote is perfect.