[Week 5 Task] The Monastery At Lindisfarne

Step 1: Read the Saxon Violence thread first!!

Hello, oppressed persons, and welcome to your new home. Until the task is declared over (roughly 48 hours), you must post in this thread and only in this thread.

You are a collection of monks, nuns, and peasants cowering in a monastery whilst mad Vjikings cavort outside, after all. Your main goal is to stay alive, even if you have to look ridiculous to do it.

Once again, your instructions:

1) Follow the Vjikings' orders, which will chiefly be demands for amusement, and possibly sheep. Otherwise they may shoot at you. You cannot "die" in this game, but the more you get shot at, the greater evidence there is that you are not following the Vjikings' instructions to amuse them. This will lower your role-playing score, as your goal is to remain alive even if you have to look silly.

2) You do not need to remain in-character at all times, but if someone speaks to you in-character, it's encouraged to respond in the same manner.

3) You can risk "darting out" of the monastery to make a quick post elsewhere in BB, but if a Vjiking spots it within 5 minutes of the post being made, you count as "caught," and can consider yourself shot. Getting shot is bad for role-playing points, although you could make up for that by role-playing the part of a grievously wounded Oppressed Person for the remainder of the task.

4) Role-Playing personas: it is encouraged to create at least a Saxon peasant/monk/nun name and a brief bio, and to post it in this thread. Once again, the link to the Dark Ages Persona generator is here. Images are nice if you can manage them. If several hours go by and you have inexplicably failed to create a persona, I may do so for you. It might be sillier than you'd like.

5) If a real-life crisis intervenes, please let me know. I can't guarantee epic won't kick you out, but I can ask the Vjikings not to shoot you for being boring.

6) The desperation clause: if things go straight to hell, and all your monastery-mates got evicted randomly, etc., you can "pray for divine aid." Basically this means PM'ing me, and I will post in the monastery as another oppressed person.

HOW TO WIN

Once again, players can earn up to 10 points for their role-playing performance. That's 3 points for participation, 3 for actual role-playing, 3 for general entertainment value, and 1 for any just extra-special stuff that pops up. "Extra-special" could be style, truly hysterical humor value, deranged levels of creativity, etc. Anything that goes above and beyond. If you want a more specific point breakdown, I can send it to you.

No, there are no appeals of final point-assignment.

FOR SCENE-SETTING PURPOSES

This is the church of your monastery:

[image=http://img248.imageshack.us/img248/5218/lindesfarnegk6.gif]

Please ignore those modern-looking people coming out. There is a time-travel portal around here somewhere, and those sorts of folks show up sometimes. No, you cannot use the portal to escape.

This is the map of what your full monastery would look like. Some of the structures would be wood, and some would be stone. I'd keep out of the wooden ones. Vjikings are dangerous with fire.

[image=http://img514.imageshack.us/img514/4522/monasterymapcy2.gif]

Here are some ordinary Saxons in better times. This is a wild Saxon par-tay:

[image=http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/3628/saxonpartaymy0.gif]

Here are a Saxon nun and monk. And a pony. No, I am not going to explain which one is the pony.

[image=http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/3328/saxonmonandnunrt8.gif]

Here is your old grandma. She is cowering in the monastery with you. You wouldn't want to do anything to threaten the life of your poor old grandma, would you?!

[image=http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/3489/saxonwom

 

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

**runs into Monastery and shelters**


-JR

 

OOC: As you can see, I really didn't have a good time at my party last night...

[image=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v464/OBIWAN-JR/JR_WithTehLadies.jpg] [image=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v464/OBIWAN-JR/JR_QueenOfHearts.jpg]
[image=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v464/OBIWAN-JR/JR_BunnyGirl.jpg] [image=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v464/OBIWAN-JR/JR_Surprise.jpg]

Pictures of moi in bunny ears to come when my lazy friends upload them to our server...


-JR

 

OOC: Okay, unfortunately, being English, I now have to head for home. I will be in work over the weekend for a bit and will do my best in the time I can post.


I am a lowly peasant, who dreams of sailing away to a better life one day. Unfortunately my wife died in a freak sheep accident, and I have been single ever since as I grieve over my tragic loss.

My name is: Pandy Handshandy


-JR

 

Hello, Jay! Until (and unless) anybody else shows up, I shall be Ophinea the Potentially Imaginary, who may or may not be a hallucination caused by malnutrition, panic, and some seriously mis-brewed ale.

[image=http://img530.imageshack.us/img530/8513/darkagesbr2.gif]

OOC: That looks like a hell of a party BTW. Makes me feel like a total dork for staying here . . . and doing this.

(Oh, and it's impossible to copy & paste the bio off the Dark Ages site, FWIW. It doesn't even work if you e-mail it to yourself.)

Edit: Awww . . . talk to you later then, Pandy. Sorry to hear about your wife . . . and the sheep.

 

I think I'll pray in Greek.


Latin! I'll pray in Latin!

EDIT: My name is Carloman the Wandering Scholar

 

¸.?**´**?.¸ :phinea The Potentially Imaginary appears in a shower of ASCII sparkles::¸.?**´**?.¸

These were the best answers to your demands I could find, O great and . . . gastrically troubled Vjikings! Please don't shoot flaming arrows through our eyeballs!!

A singing fish

Several singing sheep

Edit: Hello, Carloman!!

 

¸.?**´**?.¸ :phinea The Potentially Imaginary Is Now Posting After Herself::¸.?**´**?.¸

Er . . . Lord . . . Mr. . . . Sir Brjian, sir, this was the best I could do with the trees and the herring . . . you see, these trees were cut down with a herring, but that was yesterday . . . maybe the day before. So the tree-cutter left. With the herring.

I mean, obviously he wouldn't just leave his tree-cutting herring lying around--that's a valuable animal. It's not every herring that can cut trees.

Lovely . . . stumps, aren't they?

[image=http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/562/treestumpsco1.gif]

And Mr. Eadric, we haven't established a trade route to Asia yet, and as such have no "tea" as you might be used to it. I did boil some nettles, bark, and crabgrass for a few hours and then scooped out what didn't have chunky bits in it, though.

I shall set this very gingerly upon the stone threshold of the monastery, and then run away.

[image=http://img118.imageshack.us/img118/2731/teaxn1.gif]

 

¸.?**´**?.¸ :TPI Again::¸.?**´**?.¸

::Stands on toes and shouts out tiny, slit-like window::

You can't say that! This is a family site!!

 

¸.?**´**?.¸ :TPI::¸.?**´**?.¸


::tremulous voice::

I'm the only huddled mass who seems to be home tonight, and even I may not actually exist.

So I uh . . . I would'nt make a very good boat-rowing slave.

::ducks hadful of gravel::

Ow! That would make me righteously perturbed if I weren't a wretched peon who wouldn't even have human rights in Eadric The Lesser's Land of Tea, due to my semi-imaginariness.

As it is, I shall attempt to appease the mighty Vijkings as best I can.

That, uh . . . that might take a few minutes.

 

¸.?**´**?.¸ :TPI::¸.?**´**?.¸

::More gravel rains down::

Owww!! Hey, I told you I was the only one here! Half the peons live in Europe, and have been asleep for hours anyway. And it's one peon's birthday. You can't very well make a man a slave on his birthday, can you?!

So I'm working on your demands. I'm working on them!!

 

¸.?**´**?.¸ :TPI::¸.?**´**?.¸

What about this? You think Eadric's cat would want one of these?

He wouldn't need the battering ram anymore.

[image=http://img472.imageshack.us/img472/350/catsniperkx3.gif]

 

¸.?**´**?.¸ :TPI::¸.?**´**?.¸

Okay . . . mead, good, violent sirs . . . I think from Ireland, although I can't be sure, since none of the monks are around at the moment to read the label, and if I did exist, I would most certainly be illiterate.

[image=http://img242.imageshack.us/img242/5406/meadfp1.gif]

 

¸.?**´**?.¸ :TPI::¸.?**´**?.¸

::Stands in shower of falling grass::

//What am I supposed to do with *this?* Loopy Vjiking crazy-people.//

::Returns to trying to coax ASG into the monastery::

 

¸.?**´**?.¸ :TPI::¸.?**´**?.¸

//Oh, no . . . he wants a *joke?* Everyone hates my jokes. Crap. He'll kill me--if it turns out I even exist. Wait--that gives me an idea . . .//

::Stands on toes, shouts out extremely narrow stone window::

So Mrs. Schroedinger to Mr. Schroedinger: What the hell did you do to the cat? It looks half dead!

:ucks, expecting large boulders flung over the wall::

 

¸.?**´**?.¸ :TPI::¸.?**´**?.¸

::Was not expecting tree trunk::

AIIIIGHHH!!!

::Narrowly avoids being squashed::

 

¸.?**´**?.¸ :TPI::¸.?**´**?.¸

I can't! I'm the role-playing persona who has to stay in this thread. If you want to talk in some other thread, you need Øfeljia The Nøøb Mød.

Or that update lady . . . whatever her name is.

 

Pandy Handshandy: WT* happened while I was having a snooze in the pulpit...?

....

OOC: And who the **** put Juli up?!?!?!?


-JR

 

¸.?**´**?.¸ :TPI::¸.?**´**?.¸

Err . . . I gave them lots of fairly ridiculous things, and then they threw a tree trunk at me. As for Juli, I think the Vjikings may have gotten her.

I don't blame you for sleeping so long . . . it does get rather boring in here.

We could try entertaining ourselves by singing songs . . .

What about one where we can look at wretched little drawings about people who kill all their relatives? [face_forlorn_hope]

The Irish Ballad

Oh! Or one where we could sing a song where we mock the Vjikings by making them look like fuzzy little kittens!

Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song" . . . kinda.

 

¸.?**´**?.¸ :TPI::¸.?**´**?.¸

Or we could draw rude pictures of them and then burn them before they notice??

[image=http://img510.imageshack.us/img510/2348/stoopidvjikingyx9.gif]

[image=http://img223.imageshack.us/img223/7586/dabombtf2.gif]

 

**having woken again, Pandy Handshandy has a quick hand shandy in the corner of the Monastery**

Pandy Handshandy: Forgive me Lord for what I have just done on sacred ground, but You know that I do miss my wife so.


-JR

 

**clambering out over the pews quietly, so as not to wake his friends, Pandy decides what he must do**


-JR

 

**ascending the stairs to the top of the monastery, Pandy sets about making a sign for the cursed mother ****ing Vikings to see**


-JR

 

**working faster than he ever has before on the conveniently placed loom in the monastery tower, Pandy creates three masterpiece tapestries that will get the message home to the accursed mother ****ing rapist vikings**

**with them over his shoulder, he heads to a window in the tower**


-JR

 

¸.?**´**?.¸ :TPI::¸.?**´**?.¸

//What is he . . . ?

Oh, he can't be!//

Watch out, Pandy! Taunting Vjikings is dangerous . . . they have fleas!!