Discussion in 'SouthWest Region Discussion' started by BoredJediTheater, Jul 8, 2002.
My precious has returned to us!
Popcorn, soda, monster...
Popcorn, soda, monster...
Bored Jedi Theater Act 2, Round 5 (a.k.a. Therapy, Empire-Style)
*Chaos is the word of the day in the infirmary; Dave, going through severe withdrawals, goes manic, sending the doctors, Trooper212, and Trooper1138 scrambling for cover*
Dave: WHERE IS IT!?!? The PRECIOUS, it's lost!
Trooper1138: [face_shocked] Dave, its okay, the shotgun isn't lost...
Trooper1138: ...it just has to be fixed.
Dave: The precious has to be fixed? Nothing was wrong with the precious.
*The two doctors start inching towards the doorway, but not fast enough; Dave points the blaster he stole from Trooper1138 at the doctors*
Dave: Precious doesn't have to be fixed, you can give it back to me now.
*Sir walks into the infirmary*
Trooper212: DON'T LET THE--door close, never mind.
*Dave looks at Sir blankly for a moment, then becomes livid*
Dave: [face_shocked] IT...WAS...YOU! You wanted the precious all to yourself! You stole it! YOU STOLE THE--gaaahh, ahhh... [face_shocked]
*Gesturing one hand at Dave who begins choking, Sir motions with the other*
Sir: *to the doctors, Trooper212, and Trooper1138* OUT!
*Doctors and stormtroopers scramble over each other in the race to get out the door; after they've exited, Sir gestures, and the blaster goes flying one way while Dave goes flying the other way; Dave lands on a bed, and Sir quickly straps him down and drags over a bright stand of lights*
Dave: No...the light...it burns...
Sir: It burns, does it? Let's keep going with that thought, shall we? These are some pretty hot lights. It's almost as if they were twin suns...
Sir: You know, stormtrooper or even scouttrooper armor isn't all that effective at keeping things cool when there's two suns overhead. Of course, it also doesn't help when there's nothing but sand for miles around. Not a single scrap of shade anywhere. Pretty soon, your head gets hot, your arms get hot, you legs get hot...
*leans in closer for emphasis*
Sir: Your feet get hot.
Dave: HOT! HOT! HOT SAND! HOT SAND!
*Sir releases the straps, and Dave jumps up, hopping from one foot to the next; Sir bops him on the head; Dave stops*
Dave: *touches head* Ow. Did I have one of my episodes again?
Dave: I'm feeling alright now.
Dave: I guess I'll be going now.
Sir: You'll want the doctors to look at your ankle first.
Dave: My ankle? What's wrong with my--
*shifts his weight from his uninjured foot to the injuired one*
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!!! OW! OW! Ohhh that smarts! How did I hurt my ankle?
Sir: *shrugs* I wasn't there when it happened.
*Dave groans in pain as he hops back to the bed; Sir motions for the doctors to come back inside to treat Dave; reluctantly they do, and while they tended to Dave, Sir quietly retrieves Trooper1138's blaster...*
This is why Darth Skippyous fell for BoredJediTheater way back in the depths of July.
What genius! What hilarity! What more could we ask for?
HOT SAND! HOT! HOT! HOT!
GIGGLE! That's my Dave!
ahhh, i've been sucked in....help!!!!!
there is only one thing tha can help me. another installment!!!! i need more!!
Woo-hoo! Another addict!
*another drum roll*
*another drum goes rolling by*
Bored Jedi Theater Act 2, Round 6 (a.k.a. Do you really know who your friends are?)
*Outside the infirmary, Trooper1138 and Trooper212 wait for Dave*
Trooper1138: This has been one weird day.
Trooper212: *shrugs* Not really.
Trooper1138: [face_shocked] You're kidding me, right? The whole Dave maniac episode and going after Darth Vader thing is a little unusual, even for Dave.
Trooper212: Dave always has some kind of epi--what'd you say about Darth Vader?
Trooper1138: [face_shocked] Well, let me think--remember the whole me running desperately for Sir because we thought Dave was about to commit suicide by attacking Vader in the holographic fight chamber? And not only did Dave attack Vader but is actually going to live to tell about it?
*Trooper212 looks blankly at Trooper1138 for a moment, then starts laughing*
Trooper212: You know, you had me going for moment there. But I know better than that; if Dave really had attacked Lord Vader, we'd be needing a shoe box for Dave's remains if we could find that much of him left.
Trooper1138: [face_shocked] *sputters incomprehensibly for a moment* How in the Empire did you think Dave hurt his ankle?
Trooper212: Dave's a klutz. He hurt his ankle. Its not as though he doesn't get hurt on a regular basis. You know this better than I do, Trooper1138.
Trooper1138: Didn't you see Dave get hurt by Vader?
*Trooper212 gives Trooper1138 a look*
Trooper1138: Okay, fine, did you see Dave get hurt?
Trooper212: *slowly* No, I wasn't there. I not always around when Dave hurts himself because he does it alot.
Trooper1138: Then who told you Dave hurt his ankle?
Trooper212: *knocks on Trooper1138's helmet* Hello, McFly! Sir did. It's more his job to look after Dave than mine. He is our commander.
Trooper1138: But...but...that would mean Sir lied to you. That doesn't make any sense... [face_shocked]
*Sir and Dave come out of the infirmary; Trooper212 and Trooper1138 snap to attention*
Dave: Hey, guys, I'm alright! I haven't managed to kill myself yet, so why don't we get some drinks to celebrate.
Trooper212: And give you another chance at hurting yourself?
Dave: *shrugs* Whatever reason gets us drinks is fine by me.
Trooper212: I'm in! Drinks are on me!
*Dave and Trooper212 walk ahead, chatting; Trooper1138 is about to follow when Sir touches his arm*
Trooper1138: *feeling a bit jumpy* Sir?
Sir: You forgot this.
Trooper1138: *sees his blaster in Sir's hand* Oh! *gets his blaster back* Thank you, Sir.
Sir: You should be more careful with your weapons when Dave's having an episode.
Trooper1138: Yes, Sir.
Sir: *sighs* It's been a long day. I wouldn't mind a drink or two myself.
Trooper1138: I'll be right behind you, Sir.
*Sir moves to follow Trooper212 and Dave; Trooper1138 waits for Sir to go around the corner before pulling out a datapad, furiously writing down the day's odd events...*
Awesome show so far. Me wants more! Dave is brave! Yay for Dave.
We must be living right to get so many episodes of BJT in sucession like this!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
Keep it comin'...keep it comin'!!
What would I do without my BJT?
Woo Hoo! Gotta love Bored Jedi Theater!
Ahh, nothing like finding another addict waiting for the next hit.
please put all food trays
in the up position before take-off.
Bored Jedi Theater Act 2, Round 7 (a.k.a. Imperial Drinking Games)
*After writing down his observations, Trooper1138 takes the elevator to the mess hall, where Sir, Trooper212, and Dave have their helmets off and a line of filled shotglasses in front of them.*
Trooper1138: *takes his helmet off* Hey guys. What are we having?
*Sir, Trooper212, and Dave take a drink; Trooper1138 reaches out for a shot glass but Trooper212 shakes his head*
Trooper212: You have to wait until someone takes their helmet off.
Dave: It's a drinking game. Anyone who comes into the mess hall has to take their helmet off to eat or drink--
Sir: --so we take a shot when someone takes their helmet off.
Trooper1138: Oh. Okay.
*A few minutes crawl by, and no one else comes into the mess hall*
Trooper1138: So how long are you guys going to wait for--?
*Sir, Trooper212, and Dave take a drink; Trooper1138 looks around in confusion*
Trooper1138: Um, guys, no one took their helmet off. In fact no one else is here--
Trooper212: Mouse droid.
*Trooper212 points out the black droid running along the mess hall floor*
Dave: Whenever a mouse droid enters the mess hall--
Sir: Take a drink.
Trooper1138: Um, okay.
*Trooper1138 eyes the shot glasses and drums his fingers on the table; Trooper212, Sir, and Dave watch him very intently*
*Sir, Trooper212, and Dave take a drink*
Trooper1138: *looks around* I don't see any mouse droids or anyone taking their--
*Sir, Trooper212, and Dave take a drink; Trooper1138 stares at them incredulously*
Sir, Trooper212, & Dave: [image=http://www.members.cox.net/sideshow212/angel.gif]
Trooper1138: *recognizes the look* [face_shocked] Oh no...
*Sir, Trooper212, and Dave take a drink, finishing off the shots*
Trooper212: We got assigned the night shift duty--
Dave: and at least one of us needs to be sober--
Trooper212: So we voted and decided it should be you.
Trooper1138: Gee, thanks.
Sir: *stands up, puts on his helmet* We'd better get going before the shots begin to catch up with us.
*Trooper212 and Dave stand up and put their helmets on; Trooper1138 gives a longing look at the empty shot glasses before putting on his own helmet and following the others out of the mess hall...*
YAY!!! Finally, there is the next scene!
Oh, now THAT'S funny!
That may have been my favorite chapter so far...
poor trooper 1138
then again thats what he gets for not being there when decisions are made
*stormtrooper vendors start selling popcorn and various drinks*
That was cool!!! I this stuff...what's your secret BJT?
More drinking games!
More drinking games!
More drinking games!
Dave still wins...
BJT: I think the masses need a copy of the infamous picture that started it all to accompany this thread. Who's got a scanner?
"I want my
I want my
I want my BJT"
*comes out of cryogenic sleep tank*
Whoa. It's been a while. I guess that means its time for
Bored Jedi Theater Act 2, Round 8 (a.k.a. Imperial Mind Games...or Rebel?)
*Sir, Trooper212, Trooper1138, and Dave go on their patrol around the Imperial base*
Sir, Trooper212, and Dave: *singing* 66 bottles of beer on the wall, 66 bottle of beer, take one down pass it around...
*singing pauses for a moment*
Dave: *slurred voice* What comes next?
Trooper1138: 65 is what comes next.
Trooper212: After what?
Trooper1138: *growls* In the song. 65 bottles of beer on the wall...
*Sir, Trooper212, and Dave look at Trooper1138 blankly*
Sir: Eh, let's just start over.
*all but Trooper1138 start singing again; Trooper1138 grinds his teeth and fingers his blaster*
*Trooper212 trips on something and throws his arms out as he falls*
Trooper212: I'M JEBUS! *makes a dull THUMP sound when he hits the ground*
Dave: How come he gets to be Jebus? Why can't I be Jebus?
Trooper1138: *lightly kicks Trooper212* C'mon, Jebus, we've still got an hour left on our patrol. *leans down and helps Trooper212 up*
Trooper212: *unsteady on his feet* I was just holding the ground down. Have to make sure it *hick* doesn't go anywhere. That's part of why we patrol, so stuff doesn't go anywhere it shouldn't.
Trooper1138: Whatever. *comlink beeps* Hang on guys. *walks off to the side to answer*
*Sir, Trooper212, & Dave shrug, start singing again; a blaster bolt zings over their heads*
Trooper1138: "Hang on" means SHUT UP! *flicks on comlink* Area is secure, nothing out of the ordinary here...no sir, that was just a weapon malfunction. I'll have a tech look at it as soon as we've finished patrolling. Yes sir. *flicks off comlink* Stupid drinking songs...stupid drinking...stupid... *looks at friends laughing at each other; looks around to see that if anyone else is around and sees none* Hmmm... *in a loud voice to the turned off comlink* What was that sir? Please repeat. *Sir, Trooper212, and Dave look over at Trooper1138* Use caution on approach? Yes, sir, we'll do our best to catch it. Over and out.
Sir: *straightening up* What's the situation?
Trooper1138: A creature that was locked up here has escaped. It's extremely rare and very dangerous. We need to find this thing NOW.
Trooper212: *sobering up* What do we need to do?
Trooper1138: Stay right here. I'll go grab the supplies we need. *runs off*
*Sir, Trooper212, and Dave wait; Trooper1138 returns with supplies and gives them their instructions*
Dave: Are you sure about this? ?
Trooper1138: Absolutely. *looks at supplies* Hmm, there isn't enough for all of us. *apologetic* Several other squads have been called up to find the creature, so I didn't find much when I was at the supply closet. You guys go ahead without me and I'll go back to see if I find more. *runs off again*
*Sir, Trooper212, and Dave look at supplies*
Dave: I don't know... ?
Sir: This is a crucial operation. You heard what Trooper1138 said, we need to find this creature NOW! *starts taking off hi
ah, another masterpiece
ummmm, what picture?