Beyond - Legends We'll Never Know - Jaina - Country Music Songfic Challenge

Title:We?ll Never Know
Author:Jedimaster_JainaSolo
Number, Artist and Song: #42, ?What Might Have Been?, Little Texas
Timeframe: LOTF, I guess
Genre:drama, angst
Characters:Jaina Solo
Summary:Jaina pleads for the return of one she loves.
Author's notes:This is probably slightly AU, since I haven't completed LOTF (I'm only on Tempest) and I may have taken some artistic license. But it mostly could fit in cannon, I think.

This was written for the Country Music Roulette Songfic Challenge.

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own Star Wars, and the song "What Might Have Been" belongs to Little Texas. Now, without further ado:




We?ll Never Know

She didn?t cry. It wasn?t within her capability. She had seen people killed in battle, in cold blood, in accidents. She had killed in battle, in anger, in grief. Her life was a map of hard times. She had lived through kidnappings, trials, wars. She has been instrument in them.

She didn?t cry when she found out Chewie was dead or her father ran off alone across the galaxy. She dealt with her mother?s anguish and threw herself into the war effort. When Anakin died, her grief was anger, a darkness that perused her every cell. Jacen had disappeared, tortured beyond comprehension. But she didn?t cry; she fought. She survived.

But this was so much worse.

And with every passing moment, every hard glance, every cold response, she could feel the little hope she had disappearing.

She didn?t cry when she sent Jag back to the Unknown region. She had seen her best friends die. Some in an anonymous spacecraft, some in the horrid familiarity called ground battle, some when the enemy wasn?t even in sight. She had held strong, though. It was all she could do. She was the Sword of the Jedi, for Force sake!

So what was this hot moisture fogging her vision and streaming down her face, scalding her cheeks? Why did her lips taste salty and her breathing come in ragged gasps so much different than that of physical exertion?

She felt sick to her stomach. She knew what was coming, but couldn?t bear to believe it. How had it come to this? She felt like a part of her inner being was being ripped from her very soul. She was falling. She had no idea where she was or where she was going, or if she?d even land. Her entire universe had turned upside down.

Sure I think about you now and then
But it's been a long, long time
I've got a good life now, I've moved on
So when you cross my mind

?Have you even thought about your family? What they think about this? Not even me?? Jaina Solo was surprised her voice came out so strong, without a tremble.

?Of course I have, Jaina. I do think about you.? This was the closest to caring he had come.

?Then how can you do this?? Her voice raised a notch in volume and pitch. ?Don?t you remember-?

?Don?t, Jaina!? His voice cut through the air sharper than durasteel. ?Don?t bring up what doesn?t matter!? He turned around and looked out the balcony, looked to the stars. The short distance that separated them seemed miles long, and growing. His voice was soft when he spoke again, almost tender. ?That was a long time ago. So many things have changed. Can?t you see it?? he asked, turning to see her. ?This life I?ve made for myself, it?s good. It really is. I?ve moved past all of that. I?ve figured out for myself what I can do, should do. I?m not just blindly following orders anymore. Why can?t you understand that??

Jaina fought for control. Things were spinning too fast, and failure wasn?t an option.

I try not to think about what might have been
'Cause that was then and we have taken different roads
We can't go back again there's no use giving in
And there's no way to know
What might have been

?Do you ever wonder if there was another way, another answer?? Her voice was barely above a whisper.

 

I don't think this was far-fetched at all. More... what do you do when "what can be" and "what is" merge, and suddenly there is no changing from the path that now has become maddeningly, terrifyingly reality?

In short? I loved this. Well done. Very, very well done.

 

Very well done!

 

That was good! I am glad I read it. Keep up the good work!

 

I love that song. LOL Great job. You had me guessing right up to the end on who she was talking to.

 

I'm always fooled by these. (Or, you just wrote it really well.) I kept thinking she was talking to Jag. Although when I reread some lines, I guess I should've been able to figure who it was.

Anyway, great job! I really enjoyed it - the emotions were very real, and it would completely make sense that Jaina feels this deep despair over her brother.

Dana

 

WOW! that was really good!............

That put a knot in my stomach. How is Jaina ever going to survive this war?


Awesome Job!

 

DaenaBenjen42: Exactly! At first I was worried it wouldn't come across the way I wanted it to. Thanks for proving my fears unjustified! Thank you!

star_writer24: aww, shucks thanks!

tenelka_jacen: I'm glad you liked it, thanks!

jadesabre75: Thanks, that means I did my job!

Dana-Skywalker: Haha, yeah. You were supposed to think she might be talking to Jag. I think it gives the ending a stronger punch. I had to keep going back and working on lines so they could be read from either angle. Glad it worked! I'm glad you enjoyed it, I was hoping the emotions would come across well, it's almost inexplicable.

TheOnlyJediPrincess: Thanks! Yeah, I know. I am only on the third book of LOTF, but I have stumbled upon some of the spoilers, and I can't even comprehend how any of this could work out. It's so...sickening. And the knot in your stomach? That means I did my job! Thanks for letting me know it worked!




Thank you all so much for reading! I really enjoyed writing this and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it! Thanks for the feedback.


And BTW.....Giants won the SuperBowl!!!!!!! GO ELI!!!!!
Dana

 

Hi: That was very moving and I too thought it was Jag at first--then I thought no--it could also be Jacen. You have all of Jaina's feelings very much IC I think. The lyrics mesh perfectly with the dialogue

 

OMG! So sad!!!! Very well written though! Jaina's emotions were conveyed amazingly! She was portrayed very well and the entire situation was completely believeable.

 

Jade_eyes Thanks! Yep, that's what I was going for. Glad to hear I was so successful. Thanks. I've never considered myself very good at understanding characters to an extent that I can reproduce their emotions and characterizations...but I think I am best at Jaina. [Plug] You might be interested in knowing I am working on a Jag-centric fic that is extremely introspective. If I can ever get the characterization in that one right, you might like to read it (I hope anyway).[/Plug] And I love good song-fics for that reason: the songs work to enhance the story. Thanks for your feedback!

Jaina_and_Jag Sad? Good!! means I did my job. Believable, thats where it was REALLY hard. At first I wanted Jaina to have to kill him, but then I wasn't sure if she could (this was before I had even read Exile) , or more to the point, if I could write a passable version of her getting the upper hand. Finally, the fic wrote itself with this ending, and it turned out best, I think. Thanks for reading!


Dana